PENGUIN BOOKS
I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS A WORD FOR IT Adam Jacot de Boinod, hunter of perfect and obscure bon mots, is a true linguistic bowerbird (a person who collects an astonishing array of –
sometimes useless – objects). He trawled the languages of the world for exotic specimens in his bestselling books The Wonder of Whi ing , The Meaning of Tingo and hit follow-up Toujours Tingo.
In memory of my father
I Never Knew There Was a Word For It ADAM JACOT DE BOINOD
With illustrations by Sandra Howgate
PENGUIN BOOKS
PENGUIN BOOKS
Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London
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www.penguin.com The Meaning of Tingo Toujours Tingo
rst published in Penguin Books 2005
rst published in Penguin Books 2007
The Wonder of Whi ing
rst published in Particular Books 2009
Published under this title with a new Introduction in Penguin Books 2010 Copyright © Adam Jacot de Boinod, 2005, 2007, 2009, 2010 Illustrations copyright © Samantha Howland, 2005, 2007, 2009 The moral right of the author has been asserted All rights reserved Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN: 978-0-14-196353-2
Contents Introduction Acknowledgements The Meaning of Tingo Meeting and Greeting From Top to Toe Movers and Shakers Getting Around It Takes All Sorts Falling in Love The Family Circle Clocking On Time O Eating and Drinking Below Par From Cradle to Grave Otherworldly All Creatures Great and Small Whatever the Weather Hearing Things Seeing Things Number Crunching What’s in a Name? Toujours Tingo Getting Acquainted The Human Condition Emotional Intelligence Social Animals Having an Argument The Rules of Attraction Family Ties Kids Body Beautiful
Dressed to Kill Stretching Your Legs U pping Sticks Home Sweet Home Dinner Time One for the Road All in a Day’s Work Game Theory Animal Magic Climate Change The Root of All Evil The Criminal Life Realpolitik From Better to Hearse The Great Beyond The Wonder of Whi ing Clatterfarts and Jaisies Stickybeak Going Postal Twiddle-diddles Prick-me-dainty Going West Slapsauce Crambazzled Footer-footer Muttoners and Golden Ferrets Rubby-dubby Madhouse Mush Fakers and Applesquires Bulk and File Bunting Time Wittols and Beer Babies Oyster Parts Dimbox and Quockerwodger Scurryfunge Aw Whoop Swallocky Feelimageeries
Introduction
My name is Adam Jacot de Boinod and I’m hopelessly addicted to strange words. I’ve spent the last six years compulsively hunting down unusual vocabulary and now have written three books collecting my very best and most unusual discoveries.
All three are included in this volume, which I’ve called I Never Knew There Was a Word For It , because I didn’t. My vocabulary is now ten
times richer than it was six years ago, as I hope yours will soon be too … Let me tell you a little about each book:
The Meaning of Tingo My interest in unusual words was triggered when one day, working as a researcher for the BBC programme
QI, I picked up a weighty Albanian
dictionary to discover that they have no less than twenty-seven words for eyebrow and the same number for di erent types of moustache, ranging from a mustaqe madh, or bushy, to a mustaqe posht, one which droops down at both ends.
My curiosity rapidly became a passion. I was soon unable to go near a bookshop or library without sni ng out the often dusty shelf where
the foreign language dictionaries were kept. I started to collect my favourites: nakhur, for example, a Persian word meaning ‘a camel that gives no milk until her nostrils are tickled’; Many described strange or unbelievable things. How, when and where, for example, would a man be
described as a marilopotes, the Ancient Greek for ‘a gulper of coaldust’? And could the Japanese samurai really have used the verb tsuji-giri, meaning ‘to try out a new sword on a passerby’? Others expressed concepts that seemed all too familiar. We have all met a Zechpreller,
‘someone who leaves without paying the bill’; worked with a neko-neko, the Indonesian for ‘one who has a creative idea which only makes things worse’; or spent too much time with an ataoso, the Central American Spanish for ‘one who sees problems with everything’. It was
fascinating to nd thoughts that lie on the tip of an English tongue, crystallized into vocabulary. From the Zambian sekaseka, ‘to laugh without
reason’, through the Czech nedovtipa, ‘one who nds it di cult to take a hint’, to the Japanese bakku-shan, ‘a woman who only appears pretty when seen from behind’.
In the end my passion became an obsession. I combed over two million words in countless dictionaries. I trawled the internet, phoned
embassies, and tracked down foreign language speakers who could con rm my ndings. I discovered that in Afrikaans, frogs go kwaak-kwaak,
in Korea owls go buung-buung, while in Denmark Rice Crispies go Knisper! Knasper! Knupser! And that in Easter Island tingo means to borrow things from a friend’s house one by one until there’s nothing left.
Luckily for my sanity, Penguin then signed me up to write the book that was to become The Meaning of Tingo, which meant I had an editor
to help me decide which of the thousands of great words should make it into the nal book but, goodness, it was hard to leave some out. The book came out in 2005 and was an instant hit. It has since been published in eleven di erent languages and Tingomania spread all round the globe.
Toujours Tingo I was delighted when the book’s fans demanded a sequel as I felt like I was only just getting started. This time I found such delights as okuriokami, the Japanese word for ‘a man who feigns thoughtfulness by o ering to see a girl home only to molest her once he gets in the door’
(literally, ‘a see-you-home wolf’); kaelling, the Danish for ‘a woman who stands on the steps of her house yelling obscenities at her kids’; and belochnik, the Russian for ‘a thief specializing in stealing linen o clothes lines’ (an activity that was supposedly very lucrative in the early
1980s). And how could I have missed the German Kiebitz, ‘an onlooker at a card game who interferes with unwanted advice’ or the Portuguese pesamenteiro, ‘one who habitually joins groups of mourners at the home of a deceased person, ostensibly to o er condolences but in reality to partake of the refreshments which he expects will be served’?
In this book I ventured into over two hundred new languages. The Ndebele of Southern Africa have the word dii-koyna, meaning ‘to destroy
one’s own property in anger’, an impulse surely felt by most of us at some time or another, if not acted upon. From the Bakweri language of Cameroon we have wo-mba, a charming word to describe ‘the smiling in sleep by children’; and from the Buli language of Ghana the verb
pelinti, ‘to move very hot food around inside one’s mouth in order to avoid too close a contact’. And doubtless there are many among us who have found ourselves disturbed by a butika roka (Gilbertese, Oceania) ‘a brother-in-law coming round too often’.
Once again, of course, many of the more unusual words relate closely to the local speci cs of their cultures. Most of us are unlikely to need
the verb sendula, (from the Mambwe of Zambia) meaning ‘to nd accidentally a dead animal in the forest’, which carries with it the secondary
meaning ‘and be excited at the thought that a lion or leopard might still be around’. But even if we never have the call to use these expressions,
meaning ‘and be excited at the thought that a lion or leopard might still be around’. But even if we never have the call to use these expressions, it’s surely enriching to know that in Finnish, poronkusema is ‘the distance equal to how far a reindeer can travel without urinating’; while
manantsona, from the Malagasy of Madagascar, is ‘to smell or sni before entering a house, as a dog does’. We may not share the same climate, but we can all too easily imagine the use of words like hanyauku, (Rukwangali, Namibia) ‘to walk on tiptoe on warm sand’, barbarian-on (Ik, Nilo-Saharan), ‘to sit in a group of people warming up in the morning sun’, or dynke (Norwegian), ‘the act of dunking somebody’s face in snow’.
Half as long again as The Meaning of Tingo , this second bite into the substantial cherry of world languages allowed me to venture in depth
into all sorts of new areas. There are more examples of ‘false friends’, from the Czech word host, which confusingly means ‘guest’, to the Estonian sober, a perhaps unlikely word for ‘a male friend’. There are the intriguing meanings of the names of cities and countries,
Palindromes and even national anthems, as well as a series of worldwide idioms, which join the words in con rming that the challenges, joys
and disappointments of human existence are all too similar around the world. English’s admonitory ‘Don’t count your chickens’, for example, is echoed in most languages, becoming, in Danish: man skal ikke sælge skindet, før bjørnen er skudt ‘one should not sell the fur before the bear has been shot’; in Turkish, dereyi görmeden paçalari sivama , ‘don’t roll up your trouser-legs before you see the stream’ and in the Ndonga language of Namibia ino manga ondjupa ongombe inaayi vala , ‘don’t hang the churning calabash before the cow has calved’.
The Wonder Of Whi ing While I was working on the previous two books, scouring libraries and second-hand bookshops, ri ing through reference books from around the world to nd words with unusual and delightful meanings, I kept coming across splendid English dictionaries too. Not just the mighty twenty-volume Oxford English Dictionary , but collections covering dialect, slang and subsidiary areas, such as Jamaican or Newfoundland English. Sneaking the occasional glance away from my main task I realized there was a wealth of little-known or forgotten words in our
language, from its origins in Anglo-Saxon, through Old and Middle English and Tudor–Stuart, then on to the rural dialects collected so lovingly
by Victorian lexicographers, the argot of nineteenth-century criminals, slang from the two world wars, right up to our contemporary world and the jargon that has grown up around such activities as darts, birding and working in an o ce. O ered the chance, it seemed only right to gather the best examples together and complete my trilogy: bringing, as it were, the original idea home.
Some of our English words mean much the same as they’ve always meant. Others have changed beyond recognition, such as
racket, which
originally meant the palm of the hand; grape, a hook for gathering fruit; or muddle, to wallow in mud. Then there are those words that have
fallen out of use, but would undoubtedly make handy additions to any vocabulary today. Don’t most of us know a blatteroon (1645), a person who will not stop talking, not to mention a shot-clog (1599), a drinking companion only tolerated because he pays for the drinks. And if one day we feel mumpish (1721), sullenly angry, shouldn’t we seek the company of a grinagog (1565), one who is always grinning?
The dialects of Britain provide a wealth of coinages. In the Midlands, for example, we nd a jaisy, a polite and e eminate man, and in
Yorkshire a stridewallops, a tall and awkward woman. If you tuck too much into the clotted cream in Cornwall you might end up
plo y,
plump; in Shropshire, hold back on the beer or you might develop joblocks, eshy, hanging cheeks; and down in Wiltshire hands that have
been left too long in the washtub are quobbled. The Geordies have the evocative word dottle for the tobacco left in the pipe after smoking, and in Lincolnshire charmings are paper and rag chewed into small pieces by mice. In Su olk to nuddle is to walk alone with the head held low; and in Hampshire to vuddle is to spoil a child by injudicious petting. And don’t we all know someone who’s crambazzled (Yorkshire), prematurely aged through drink and a dissolute life?
Like English itself, my research hasn’t stopped at the shores of the Channel. How about a call-dog (Jamaican English), a sh too small for
human consumption or a twack (Newfoundland English) a shopper who looks at goods, inquires about prices but buys nothing. Slang from elsewhere o ers us everything from a waterboy (U S police), a boxer who can be bribed or coerced into losing, to a shubie (Australian), someone who buys sur ng gear and clothing but doesn’t actually surf. In Canada, a cougar describes an older woman on the prowl for a younger man, while in the U S a quirkyalone is someone who doesn’t fall in love easily, but waits for the right person to come along.
Returning to the mainstream, it’s good to know that there are such sound English words as rumblegumption, meaning common sense, or
ugsomeness, loathing. Snirtle is to laugh in a quiet, suppressed or restrained manner, while to snoach is to speak through the nose. If you are
clipsome, you are eminently embraceable; when clumpst, your hands are sti with cold. To boondoggle is to carry out valueless work in order to convey the impression that one is busy, while to limbeck is to rack the brain in an e ort to have a new idea.
As for whi ing, well, that turned out to be a word with a host of meanings. In eighteenth-century Oxford and Cambridge, a whi er was
one who examined candidates for degrees, while elsewhere a whi er was an o cer who cleared the way for a procession, as well as being the name for the man with the whip in Morris dancing. The word also means to blow or scatter with gusts of air, to move or think erratically, as well as applying to geese descending rapidly from a height once the decision to land has been made. In the underworld slang of Victorian
times, a whi er was one who cried out in pain, while in the cosier world of P.G. Wodehouse, whi ed was what you were when you’d had one too many of Jeeves’s special cocktails.
As a self-confessed bowerbird (one who collects an astonishing array of sometimes useless objects), I’ve greatly enjoyed putting together all
As a self-confessed bowerbird (one who collects an astonishing array of sometimes useless objects), I’ve greatly enjoyed putting together all
three collections. I sincerely hope that you enjoy reading them, and that they save you both from mulligrubs, depression of spirits, and onomatomania, vexation in having di culty nding the right word.
In compiling all three books I’ve done my level best to check the accuracy of all the words included, but any comments or even favourite
examples of words of your own are welcomed at the book’s two websites: for foreign languages www.themeaningoftingo.com – and for English www.thewonderofwhi ing.com (There were some very helpful responses to my previous books, for which I remain grateful.)
Adam Jacot de Boinod
Acknowledgements
I am deeply grateful to the following people for their advice and help on all three books: Giles Andreae, Martin Bowden, Joss Buckley, Candida
Clark, Anna Coverdale, Nick Emley, Natasha Fairweather, William Hartston, Beatrix Jacot de Boinod, Nigel Kempner, Nick and Galia Kullmann, Kate Lawson, Alf Lawrie, John Lloyd, Sarah McDougall, Yaron Meshoulam, Tony Morris, David Prest and David Shariatmadari.
In particular I must thank my agent, Peter Straus, my illustrator Sandra Howgate, my editor at Penguin, Georgina Laycock; and Mark McCrum for his invaluable work on the text.
The Meaning of Tingo
Meeting and Greeting
ai jiao de maque bu zhang rou (Chinese)
sparrows that love to chirp won’t put on weight ¡Hola!
The
rst and most essential word in all languages is surely ‘hello’, the word that enables one human being to converse with another:
aa (Diola, Senegal)
beeta (Soninke, Mali, Senegal and Ivory Coast) bok (Croatian)
boozhoo (Ojibwe, U SA and Canada) daw-daw (Jutlandish, Denmark) ella (Awabakal, Australia) i ay (Huaorani, Ecuador)
khaumykhyghyz (Bashkir, Russia) nark (Phorhépecha, Mexico)
rozhbash (Kurdi, Iraq and Iran) samba (Lega, Congo)
wali-wali (Limbe, Sierra Leone)
xawaxan (Toltichi Yokuts, California, U SA) yoga (Ateso, U ganda)
yoyo (Kwakiutl, Canada) But it may not even be a word. In the Gilbert Islands of the Paci c, arou pairi describes the process of rubbing noses in greeting. For the
Japanese, bowing is an important part of the process and a sign of respect: ojigi is the act of bowing; eshaku describes a slight bow (of about 15
degrees); keirei, a full bow (of about 45 degrees); while saikeirei is a very low, worshipful type of bow that involves the nose nearly touching the hands. When one meets someone extremely important, one might even consider pekopeko, bowing one’s head repeatedly in a fawning or grovelling manner.
Just say the word
Sometimes a single word works hard. In Sri Lanka, for example, the Sinhala word
ayubowan means not only ‘good morning’, but also ‘good
afternoon’, ‘good evening’, ‘good night’ and ‘goodbye’.
Expectant
The frustration of waiting for someone to turn up is beautifully encapsulated in the Inuit word
iktsuarpok, meaning ‘to go outside often to see if
someone is coming’. As for the frustration of the caller, there’s always the Russian dozvonit’sya which doesn’t simply mean to ring a doorbell, but to ring it until one gets an answer (it’s also used for getting through on the telephone).
Hey you!
Once the
rst encounter is out of the way the correct form of address is important. Most of us know the di erence between the intimate French
tu and the more impersonal (and polite) vous. A similar distinction exists in Arabic between anta (‘you’ singular) and antum (‘you’ plural) – addressing an important person with anta (anti is the feminine version) rather than antum would be considered impolite.
In Vietnam there are no fewer than eighteen words for ‘you’, the use of which depends on whom you are addressing, whether a child or a
senior citizen, whether formally or informally. And in the Western Australian Aboriginal language of Jiwali there are four words for ‘we’: ngali
means ‘we two including you’; ngaliju means ‘we two excluding you’; nganthurru means ‘we all including you’; and nganthurraju means ‘we all excluding you’.
Cripes!
Exclamations are generally used to express a sudden reaction: to something frightening, incredible, spectacular, shocking or wonderful. Best not attempted by the visitor, they are better heard from the mouth of the native speaker than read o the page: aaberdi (Algerian) a cry used when learning fearful news
aawwaah (Dardja, Algeria) a shout of doubt or hesitation aãx (Karuk, North America) how disgusting! aduh (Malay) ouch or wow!
aduhai (Indonesian) an expression of admiration alaih (U lwa, Nicaragua) gosh! goodness! help! alalau (Quechuan, Peru) brrr! (of cold) amit-amit (Indonesian) forgive me!
ammazza (Italian) it’s a killer! wow!
asshe (Hausa, Nigeria) a cry of grief at distressing news
bambule (Italian) cheers! (preceding the lighting of a joint)
cq (Albanian) a negative exclamation of mild disappointment hoppla (German) whoops!
naa (Japanese) that’s great!
nabocklish (Irish Gaelic) don’t meddle with it! oho (Hausa, Nigeria) I don’t care
oop (Ancient Greek) a cry to make rowers stop pulling sa (Afrikaans) catch him!
savul (Turkish) get out of the way!
schwupp (German) quick as a ash
shahbash (Anglo-Indian) well done! (or well bowled!, as said in cricket by a wicket-keeper to the bowler) tao (Chinese) that’s the way it goes
taetae tiria (Cook Islands Maori) throw it away, it’s dirty! uf (Danish) ugh! yuk!
usch då (Swedish) oh, you poor thing!
y-eazziik (Dardja, Algeria) an expression used exclusively by women to criticize another person’s action zut (French) dash it!
Chinwag
The niceties of what in English is baldly known as ‘conversation’ are well caught in other languages: ho’oponopono (Hawaiian) solving a problem by talking it out samir (Persian) one who converses at night by moonlight begadang (Indonesian) to stay up all night talking
glossalgos (Ancient Greek) talking till one’s tongue aches
Breakdown in communication
W hether the person you are talking to su
ers from latah (Indonesian), the uncontrollable habit of saying embarrassing things, or from chenyin
(Chinese), hesitating and muttering to oneself, conversation may not always be quite as we’d like it: catra patra (Turkish) the speaking of a language incorrectly and brokenly nyelonong (Indonesian) to interrupt without apology akkisuitok (Inuit) never to answer
dui niu tanqin (Chinese) to talk over someone’s head or address the wrong audience (literally, to play the lute to a cow)
’a’ama (Hawaiian) someone who speaks rapidly, hiding their meaning from one person whilst communicating it to another dakat’ (Russian) to keep saying yes
dialogue de sourds (French) a discussion in which neither party listens to the other (literally, dialogue of the deaf) mokita (Kiriwana, Papua New Guinea) the truth that all know but no one talks about
Tittle-tattle
Gossip – perhaps more accurately encapsulated in the Cook Island Maori word
’o’onitua, ‘to speak evil of someone in their absence’ – is a pretty
universal curse. But it’s not always unjusti ed. In Rapa Nui (Easter Island) anga-anga denotes the thought, perhaps groundless, that one is being
gossiped about, but it also carries the sense that this may have arisen from one’s own feeling of guilt. A more gentle form of gossip is to be found in Jamaica, where the patois word labrish means not only gossip and jokes, but also songs and nostalgic memories of school.
False friends
Those who learn languages other than their own will sometimes come across words which look or sound the same as English, but mean very di erent things. Though a possible source of confusion, these false friends (as linguists call them) are much more likely to provide humour – as any Englishwoman who says ‘bless’ to her new Icelandic boyfriend will soon discover: hubbi (Arabic) friendly
kill (Arabic) good friend
bless (Icelandic) goodbye
no (Andean Sabela) correct aye (Amharic, Ethiopia) no
fart (Turkish) talking nonsense
fart (Turkish) talking nonsense
machete (Aukan, Suriname) how
The unspeakable …
Cursing and swearing are practised worldwide, and they generally involve using the local version of a small set of words describing an even smaller set of taboos that surround God, the family, sex and the more unpleasant bodily functions. Occasionally, apparently ino ensive words acquire a darker overtone, such as the Chinese wang bah dahn , which literally means a turtle egg but is used as an insult for politicians. And o ensive phrases can often be beguilingly inventive:
zolst farliren aleh tseyner achitz eynm, un dos zol dir vey ton (Yiddish) may you lose all your teeth but one and may that one ache
así te tragues un pavo y todas las plumas se conviertan en cuchillas de afeitar (Spanish) may all your turkey’s feathers turn into razor blades
… the unmentionable
Taboo subjects, relating to local threats or fears, are often quirky in the extreme. Albanians, for example, never use the word for ‘wolf’. They say instead mbyllizogojen, a contraction of a sentence meaning ‘may God close his mouth’. Another Albanian taboo-contraction is the word for fairy, shtozovalle, which means may ‘God increase their round-dances’. Similarly, in the Sami language of Northern Scandinavia and the Yakuts
language of Russia, the original name for bear is replaced by a word meaning ‘our lord’ or ‘good father’. In Russian itself, for similar reasons, a bear is called a medved’ or ‘honey-eater’.
… and the unutterable
In Masai the name of a dead child, woman or warrior is not spoken again and, if their name is also a word used every day, then it is no longer used by the bereaved family. The Sakalavas of Madagascar do not tell their own name or that of their village to strangers to prevent any mischievous use. The Todas of Southern India dislike uttering their own name and, if asked, will get someone else to say it.
Shocking soundalikes
The French invented the word
ordinateur, supposedly in order to avoid using the rst two syllables of the word computer ( con is slang for
vagina and pute for whore). Creek Indians in America avoid their native words for earth ( fakki) and meat ( apiswa) because of their resemblance to rude English words.
In Japan, four ( shi) and nine ( ku) are unlucky numbers, because the words sound the same as those for ‘death’ and ‘pain or worry’
respectively. As a result, some hospitals don’t have the numbers 4, 9, 14, 19, or 42 for any of their rooms. Forty-two (shi-ni) means to die, 420
(shi-ni-rei) means a dead spirit and 24 ( ni-shi) is double death. Nor do some hospitals use the number 43 ( shi-zan), especially in the maternity ward, as it means stillbirth.
Fare well
Many expressions for goodbye o
er the hope that the other person will travel or fare well. But it is not always said.
Yerdengh-nga is a Wagiman
word from Australia, meaning ‘to clear o without telling anyone where you are going’. Similarly, in Indonesia, minggat means ‘to leave home for good without saying goodbye’.
On re ection
Snobs and chau eurs
W ords don’t necessarily keep the same meaning. Simple descriptive words such as ‘rain’ or ‘water’ are clear and necessary enough to be unlikely to change. Other more complex words have often come on quite a journey since they were rst coined: al-kuhul (Arabic) originally, powder to darken the eyelids; then taken up by alchemists to refer to any ne powder; then applied in
al-kuhul (Arabic) originally, powder to darken the eyelids; then taken up by alchemists to refer to any ne powder; then applied in
chemistry to any re ned liquid obtained by distillation or puri cation, especially to alcohol of wine, which then was shortened to alcohol
chau er (French) to heat; then meant the driver of an early steam-powered car; subsequently growing to chau eur hashhashin (Arabic) one who smokes or chews hashish; came to mean assassin
manu operare (Latin) to work by hand; then narrowed to the act of cultivating; then to the dressing that was added to the soil, manure
prestige (French) conjuror’s trick; the sense of illusion gave way to that of glamour which was then interpreted more narrowly as social standing or wealth
sine nobilitate (Latin) without nobility; originally referred to any member of the lower classes; then to somebody who despised their own class and aspired to membership of a higher one; thus snob
theriake (Greek) an antidote against a poisonous bite; came to mean the practice of giving medicine in sugar syrup to disguise its taste; thus treacle
An Arabian goodbye
In Syrian Arabic, goodbye is generally a three-part sequence: a)
bxatrak, by your leave; b) ma’assalama, with peace; c) ’allaysallmak, God keep
you. If a) is said rst, then b) is the reply and then c) may be used. If b) is said rst, then c) is obligatory.
From Top to Toe chi non ha cervello abbia gambe (Italian)
he who has not got a good brain ought to have good legs Use your onion …
English-speakers are not the only ones to use food metaphors –bean, loaf, noodle, etc. – to describe the head. The Spanish cebolla means both ‘head’ and ‘onion’, while the Portuguese expression
cabeça d’alho xoxo literally means ‘he has a head of rotten garlic’ (in other words, ‘he is crazy’). Moving from vegetables to fruit, the French for ‘to rack your brains’ is se presser le citron – ‘to squeeze the lemon’.
… or use your nut
In Hawaii, a di
erent item of food takes centre stage. The word puniu means ‘the skull of a man which resembles a coconut’. Hawaiian has also
given the world the verb pana po’o, ‘to scratch your head in order to help you remember something you’ve forgotten’.
Pulling faces
The Arabic sabaha bi-wajhi means to begin the day by seeing someone’s face. Depending on their expression, this can be a good or bad omen: sgean (Scottish Gaelic) a wild look of fear on the face
kao kara hi ga deru (Japanese) a blush (literally, a ame comes out of one’s face)
verheult (German) pu y-faced and red-eyed from crying
Backpfeifengesicht (German) a face that cries out for a st in it
Greek face-slapping
There are several vivid Greek words for being slapped in the face, including
sfaliara, hastouki, fappa, xestrefti, bou a, karpasia and
sulta’meremet (‘the Sultan will put you right’). Batsos means both ‘a slap in the face’ and ‘a policeman’ (from the American use of the word ‘cop’ to mean ‘swipe’). Anapothi describes a backhanded slap, while tha fas bouketo , ‘you will eat a bunch of owers’, is very de nitely not an invitation to an unusual meal.
Windows of the soul
Eyes can be our most revealing feature, though the way others see them may not always be quite what we’d hoped for: makahakahaka (Hawaiian) deep-set eyeballs
mata ego (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) eyes that reveal that a person has been crying ablaq-chashm (Persian) having intensely black and white eyes jegil (Malay) to stare with bulging eyes
melotot (Indonesian) to stare in annoyance with widened eyes
All ears
English is not terribly helpful when it comes to characterizing ears, unlike, say, Albanian, in which people distinguish between veshok (‘small ones’) or veshak (‘ones that stick out’). Other languages are similarly versatile: tapawising (U lwa, Nicaragua) pointed ears a suentola (Italian) appy ears
mboboyo (Bemba, Congo and Zambia) sore ears Indonesian o ers two useful verbs: nylentik, ‘to ick someone with the middle nger on the ear’, and menjewer, ‘to pull someone by the ear’. While the Russian for ‘to pull someone’s leg’ is veshat’ lapshu na ushi , which literally translates as ‘to hang noodles on someone’s ears’.
A real mouthful
In Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs which is still spoken today in Mexico,
camachaloa is ‘to open one’s mouth’, camapaca is ‘to wash one’s
mouth’, and camapotoniliztli is ‘to have bad breath’.
Getting lippy
L ips can be surprisingly communicative: zunda (Hausa, Nigeria) to indicate with one’s lips
catkhara (Hindi) smacking either the lips or the tongue against the palate
die beleidigte Leberwurst spielen (German) to stick one’s lower lip out sulkily (literally, to play the insulted liver sausage)
ho’oauwaepu’u (Hawaiian) to stick the tongue under one’s lip or to jut out the chin and twist the lips to the side to form a lump (as a gesture of contempt)
Hooter
Noses are highly metaphorical. We win by a nose, queue nose to tail or ask people to keep their noses out of our business. Then, if they are annoying us, it’s that same protuberant feature we seize on: irgham (Persian) rubbing a man’s nose in the dirt
hundekuq (Albanian) a bulbous nose, red at the tip nuru (Roviana, Solomon Islands) a runny nose
engsang (Malay) to blow the nose with your ngers ufuruk (Turkish) breath exhaled through the nose
Albanian face fungus
Just below the nose may be found a feature increasingly rare in this country, but popular amongst males in many other societies. In Albania the language re ects an interest bordering on obsession, with no fewer than twenty-seven separate expressions for this ne addition to the upper lip. Their word for moustache is similar to ours (mustaqe) but once attached to their highly speci c adjectives, things move on to a whole new level:
madh bushy moustache holl thin moustache
varur drooping moustache big handlebar moustache
kacadre moustache with turned-up ends glemb moustache with tapered tips
posht moustache hanging down at the ends
fshes long broom-like moustache with bristly hairs
dirs ur newly sprouted moustache (of an adolescent) rruar with the moustache shaved o
… to name but ten. The attention the Albanians apply to facial hair they also apply to eyebrows, with another twenty-seven words, including
pencil-thin (vetullkalem), frowning ( vetullvrenjtur), plucked ( vetullhequr), knitted ( vetullrrept), long and delicately shaped ( vetullgajtan), thick (vetullor), joined together ( vetullperpjekur), gloomy ( vetullngrysur), or even arched like the crescent moon ( vetullhen).
Bearded wonder
The Arab exclamation ‘God protect us from hairy women and beardless men’ pinpoints the importance of facial hair as a mark of rank, experience and attractiveness:
gras bilong fes (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a beard (literally, grass belonging to the face) hemigeneios (Ancient Greek) with only half a beard qarba (Persian) white hairs appearing in the beard sim-zanakh (Persian) with a silver chin
poti (Tulu, India) a woman with a beard
False friends willing (Abowakal, Australia) lips buzz (Arabic) nipple bash (Zulu) head
thumb (Albanian) teat nger (Yiddish) toe
Bad hair day
Hair on the top of the head – or the lack of it – remains a worldwide preoccupation: basribis (U lwa, Nicaragua) having uneven, poorly cut hair
daberlack (U llans, Northern Ireland) seaweed or uncontrollable long hair kudpalu (Tulu, India) a woman with uncombed hair
kucir (Indonesian) a tuft left to grow on top of one’s otherwise bald head … not forgetting the Indonesian word didis, which means ‘to search and pick up lice from one’s own hair, usually when in bed at night’.
Teething troubles
W hy doesn’t English have an expression for the space between the teeth when Malay does –
gigi rongak? And that’s not the only gap in our
dental vocabulary: mrongos (Indonesian) to have ugly protruding upper teeth
angil (Kapampangan, Philippines) to bare the fangs like a dog laglerolarpok (Inuit) the gnashing of teeth
kashr (Persian) displaying the teeth in laughter
zhaghzhagh (Persian) the chattering of the teeth from the cold or from rage And that one bizarre word that few of us are ever likely to need: puccekuli (Tulu, India) a tooth growing after the eightieth year
Getting it in the neck
Although there are straightforward terms for the throat in almost all languages, it’s when it comes to describing how the throat is used that things get interesting: nwik-ga (Wagiman, Australia) to have a tickle in the throat
ngaobera (Pascuense, Easter Island) a slight in ammation of the throat caused by screaming too much berdaham (Malaysian) to clear the throat, especially to attract attention kökochöka (Nahuatl, Mexico) to make gulping sounds
jarida biriqihi (Arabic) he choked on but couldn’t swallow saliva (from excitement, alarm or grief) o ka la nokonoko (Hawaiian) a day spent in nervous anticipation of a coughing spell
Armless in Nicaragua
In U lwa, which is spoken in the eastern part of Nicaragua, no distinction is made between certain parts of the body. So, for example, wau means either a thigh or a leg, ting is an arm or a hand (and tingdak means missing an arm or a hand), tingmak is a nger or a thumb, tibur is either a wrist or an ankle, and kungbas means a beard, a moustache or whiskers.
Safe pair of hands
Other languages are more speci
c about our extremities and their uses:
sakarlasmak (Turkish) to become butter ngered lutuka (Tulu, India) the cracking of the ngers
angushti za’id (Persian) someone with six ngers zastrich’ (Russian) to cut one’s nails too short
meshetmek (Turkish) to wipe with the wet palm of one’s hand anjali (Hindi) hollowed hands pressed together in salutation
Legging it
Undue attention is put on their shapeliness but the bottom line is it’s good to have two of them and they should, ideally, be the same length: papakata (Cook Islands Maori) to have one leg shorter than the other
baguettes (French) thin legs (literally, chopsticks or long thin French loaves) x-bene (Afrikaans) knock-knees
bulurin-suq (Persian) with thighs like crystal
Footloose We don’t always manage to put our best one forward: zassledit’ (Russian) to leave dirty footmarks
mencak-mencak (Indonesian) to stamp one’s feet on the ground repeatedly, getting very angry eshte thike me thike (Albanian) to stand toenail to toenail (prior to an argument)
Mind the gap
Several cultures have words to describe the space between or behind limbs:
irqa (Khakas, Siberia) is the gap between spread legs, and awawa
(Hawaiian) that between each nger or toe. While jahja in Wagiman (Australia) and waal in Afrikaans both mean the area behind the knee.
Skin deep
W e describe it with just one word but other cultures go much further, whether it’s
alang (U lwa, Nicaragua), the fold of skin under the chin;
aka’aka’a (Hawaiian), skin peeling or falling o after either sunburn or heavy drinking; or
karelu (Tulu, India), the mark left on the skin by
wearing anything tight. Another U lwa word, yuputka, records something we have all experienced – having the sensation of something crawling on one’s skin.
Covering up
Once it comes to adding clothes to the human frame, people have the choice of either dressing up … tiré à quatre épingles (French) dressed up to the nines (literally, drawn to four pins)
tiré à quatre épingles (French) dressed up to the nines (literally, drawn to four pins) ’akapoe (Cook Islands Maori) donning earrings or putting owers behind the ears angkin (Indonesian) a long wide cloth belt worn by women to keep them slim Pomadenhengst (German) a dandy (literally, a hair-cream stallion)
FHCP (French) acronym of Foulard Hermès Collier Perles , Hermes scarf pearl necklace (a female Sloane Ranger) or down … opgelozen (Yiddish) a careless dresser
padella (Italian) an oily stain on clothes (literally, a frying pan) Krawattenmu el (German) one who doesn’t like wearing ties
cotisuelto (Caribbean Spanish) one who wears the shirt tail outside of the trousers tan (Chinese) to wear nothing above one’s waist or just as they feel … sygekassebriller (Danish) granny glasses
rash (Arabic) skirt worn under a sleeveless smock alyaska (Russian) anorak or moon-boots
hachimaki (Japanese) headbands worn by males to encourage concentration and e ort ujut’a (Quechuan, Peru) sandals made from tyres
English clothing
English words for clothes have slipped into many languages. Sometimes the usage is fairly literal, as in
smoking to describe a dinner jacket in
Swedish or Portuguese; or pants for a tracksuit in Spanish. Sometimes it’s more metaphorical: the Hungarians call jeans farmer, while their term for a T-shirt is polo. In Barbados the cloth used for the lining of men’s clothes is known as
domestic. Sometimes it’s just an odd mix: the Danish
for jeans, for example, is cowboybukser, while the Japanese sebiro means a fashionably cut suit, being their pronunciation of Savile Row, London’s famous street of tailors.
On re ection
Go whistle
On the tiny mountainous Canary Island of La Gomera there is a language called Silbo Gomero that uses a variety of whistles instead of words (in Spanish silbar means to whistle). There are four ‘vowels’ and four ‘consonants’, which can be strung together to form more than four thousand ‘words’. This birdlike means of communication is thought to have come over with early African settlers over 2500 years
ago. Able to be heard at distances of up to two miles, the silbador was until recently a dying breed. Since 1999, however, Silbo has been a required language in La Gomera schools.
The Mazateco Indians of Oaxaca, Mexico, are frequently seen whistling back and forth, exchanging greetings or buying and selling
goods with no risk of misunderstanding. The whistling is not really a language or even a code; it simply uses the rhythms and pitch of ordinary speech without the words. Similar whistling languages have been found in Greece, Turkey and China, whilst other forms of wordless communication include the talking drums (ntumpane) of the Kele in Congo, the xylophones used by the Northern Chin of
Burma, the banging on the roots of trees practised by the Melanesians, the yodelling of the Swiss, the humming of the Chekiang Chinese and the smoke signals of the American Indians.
Movers and Shakers mas vale rodear que no ahogar (Spanish) better go about than fall into the ditch
Shanks’s pony
There’s much more to walking than simply putting one foot in front of the other: berlenggang (Indonesian) to walk gracefully by swinging one’s hands or hips aradupopini (Tulu, India) to walk arm in arm or hand in hand uitwaaien (Dutch) to walk in windy weather for fun
murr-ma (Wagiman, Australia) to walk along in the water searching for something with your feet ’akihi (Hawaiian) to walk o without paying attention to directions
Walking in Zimbabwe
The Shona-speaking people of Zimbabwe have some very specialized verbs for di
erent kinds of walking: chakwaira, through a muddy place
making a squelching sound; dowora, for a long time on bare feet; svavaira, huddled, cold and wet; minaira, with swinging hips; pushuka, in a very short dress; shwitaira, naked; sesera, with the esh rippling; and tabvuka, with such thin thighs that you seem to be jumping like a grasshopper.
Malaysian movements
The elegant Malaysians have a highly specialized vocabulary to describe movement, both of the right kind, as in
kontal-kontil, ‘the swinging of
long earrings or the swishing of a dress as one walks’, and the wrong, as in jerangkang, ‘to fall over with your legs in the air’. Others include: kengkang to walk with your legs wide apart tenjack to limp with your heels raised
kapai to ap your arms so as to stay a oat
gayat feeling dizzy while looking down from a high place seluk to put your hand in your pocket
bongkeng sprawling face down with your bottom in the air
Ups …
Sometimes our movements are deliberately athletic, whether this involves hopping on one leg ( a ball (ajawyry in the Wayampi language of Brazil), or something more adventurous:
vogget in Cornish, hinke in Danish), rolling like
angama (Swahili) to hang in mid-air
vybafnout (Czech) to surprise someone by saying boo puiyarpo (Inuit) to show your head above water povskakat’ (Russian) to jump one after another
tarere (Cook Islands Maori) to send someone ying through the air lele kawa (Hawaiian) to jump into the sea feet rst
Lele kawa, of course, is usually followed by curgla , Scottish dialect for the shock felt when plunging into cold water.
… and downs
But on other occasions there seems to be a banana skin waiting for us on the pavement: blart (U llans, Northern Ireland) to fall at in the mud
lamhdanaka (U lwa, Nicaragua) to collapse sideways (as when walking on uneven ground) tunuallak (Inuit) slipping and falling over on your back while walking kejeblos (Indonesian) to fall into a hole by accident
apismak (Turkish) to spread the legs apart and collapse
jeruhuk (Malay) the act of stumbling into a hole that is concealed by long grass
False friends gush (Albanian) to hug each other around the neck shagit (Albanian) to crawl on one’s belly snags (Afrikaans) during the night sofa (Icelandic) sleep
purr (Scottish Gaelic) to headbutt
What-d’you-call-it
Just because there is no word for it in English doesn’t mean we haven’t done it or experienced it: mencolek (Indonesian) touching someone lightly with one nger in order to tease them wasoso (Hausa, Nigeria) to scramble for something that has been thrown idumbulu (Tulu, India) seizing each other tightly with both hands
přesezený (Czech) being sti from sitting in the same position too long ’alo’alo kiki (Hawaiian) to dodge the rain by moving quickly honuhonu (Hawaiian) to swim with the hands only
engkoniomai (Ancient Greek) to sprinkle sand over oneself
tallabe (Zarma, Nigeria) to carry things on one’s head without holding on to them gagrom (Boro, India) to search for a thing below water by trampling
chonggang-chongget (Malay) to keep bending forward and then straightening (as a hill-climber)
When it all goes horribly wrong …
That sinking feeling, puangi (Cook Islands Maori), the sensation of the stomach dropping away (as in the sudden surge of a lift, plane, swing or a tossed boat), is something we know all too well, as are: dokidoki (Japanese) rapid pounding heartbeats caused by worry or surprise
a’anu (Cook Islands Maori) to sit huddled up, looking pinched and miserable
a’anu (Cook Islands Maori) to sit huddled up, looking pinched and miserable nggregeli (Indonesian) to drop something due to nerves bingildamak (Turkish) to quiver like jelly
… scarper baotou shucuon (Chinese) to cover one’s head with both hands and run away like a coward
achaplinarse (Spanish, Central America) to hesitate and then run away in the manner of Charlie Chaplin
Learning to relax
In some parts of the world relaxation doesn’t necessarily mean putting your feet up: ongkang-ongkang (Indonesian) to sit with one leg dangling down
naganaga (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) to squat without resting your buttocks on your heels lledorweddle (Welsh) to lie down while propping yourself up with one elbow karvat (Hindi) the side of the body on which one rests
Dropping o
Once we start relaxing, snoozing becomes an increasingly strong possibility. Both Danish, with
raevesøvn, and Russian, with vpolglaza, have a
word to describe sleeping with one eye open, while other languages describe other similar states of weariness: aiguttoa (Votic, Estonia) to yawn repeatedly
teklak-tekluk (Indonesian) the head bobbing up and down with drowsiness
utsura-utsura (Japanese) to uctuate between wakefulness and being half asleep utouto (Japanese) to fall into a light sleep without realizing it
tengkurap (Indonesian) to lie or sleep with the face downwards kulubut (Kapampangan, Philippines) to go under the blanket
Out for the count
Having achieved the state the Japanese describe as
guuguu, ‘the sound of someone in a deep sleep accompanied by snoring’, we can either have
a good night … bilita mpash (Bantu, Zaire) blissful dreams
altjiranga mitjina (Aranda, Australia) the timeless dimensions of dreams
ngarong (Dyak, Borneo) an adviser who appears in a dream and clari es a problem rêve à deux (French) a mutual dream, a shared hallucination morgenfrisk (Danish) fresh from a good night’s sleep … or a bad one: menceracan (Malay) to cry in one’s sleep
kekau (Indonesian) to wake up from a nightmare
igau (Malay) to talk while trapped in a nightmare
kerinan (Indonesian) to oversleep until the sun is up
On re ection
Back as forth
W hatever their length, words have provided excellent material for games from the earliest times. One of the more pleasing arrangements
is the palindrome, which is spelt the same backwards as forwards, and can create some bizarre meanings: neulo taas niin saat oluen (Finnish) knit again, so that you will get a beer
Nie fragt sie: ist gefegt? Sie ist gar fein (German) she never asks: has the sweeping been done? She is very re ned in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni (Latin) we enter the circle after dark and are consumed by re
nipson anomemata me monan opsin (Ancient Greek) wash (o ) my sins, not only my face (written on the edge of a well in Constantinople: NB the ‘ps’ is a transcription of the Greek letter ψ)
The Finns have three of the world’s longest palindromic words: saippuakivikauppias a soapstone seller
saippuakuppinippukauppias a soap-cup trader
solutomaattimittaamotulos the result from a measurement laboratory for tomatoes
Getting Around dalu tongtian, ge zou yi bian (Chinese) the highway comes out of one’s mouth
Thumbing it
Some rides are free: fara a puttanu (Icelandic) to hitchhike (literally, to travel on the thumb) usqar (Khakas, Siberia) to take someone on the back of one’s horse radif (Persian) one who rides behind another on the same horse
menggonceng (Indonesian) to have a free ride usually on a friend’s bike
plomo (Spanish, Central America) a bus passenger who is just on for the free ride (literally, a lead weight) Others involve money … ngetem (Indonesian) to stop (of a bus) longer than necessary at unauthorized points along the route to the terminus to look for more paying passengers
ngojek (Indonesian) to earn money by carrying a paying passenger on the rear seat of one’s motorbike … or getting your own transport: essoreuse (French) a noisy motorbike (literally, spindryer)
Warmwassergeige (German) a souped-up motorcycle (literally, warm-water violin) teplushka (Russian) a heated goods van used for carrying people bottom-bottom wata wata (African Creole) a submarine gung gung chi chuh (Chinese) a bus
vokzal (Russian) a railway station (named after Vauxhall in London)
voiture-balai (French) the last train or bus (literally, broom-vehicle as it sweeps up the latecomers)
Set of wheels
One particular form of transport is pre-eminent in the modern world: whether normal, or convertible (
spider in Italian), or vintage ( oldtimer in
German). What lets most cars down, however, are the people driving them, be it the viande paraguero (Caribbean Spanish), the Sunday driver
(literally, an umbrella stand); or the Gurtmu el (German), someone who doesn’t wear a seat belt. Then, of course, there’s the way people drive: sgasata (Italian) a sudden and violent acceleration
appuyer sur le champignon (French) to put one’s foot down (literally, to stamp on the mushroom)
appuyer sur le champignon (French) to put one’s foot down (literally, to stamp on the mushroom) Geisterfahrer (German), a person driving on the wrong side of the road
Road rage
Hazards are all too common, whether in the car … desgomarse (Caribbean Spanish) to have bad tyres ulykkesbilen (Danish) an ill-fated car
Blechlawine (German) a huge tra c jam (literally, a sheet-metal avalanche)
matadero (Spanish, Central America) a car scrapheap (literally, a slaughterhouse) … or out of it. The French have the most evocative expressions to describe both the reckless pedestrian – viande à pneux, meat for tyres, and the knock su ered by a cyclist – l’homme au marteau , literally, the man with the hammer.
Apache cars
The Apache people of the U SA name the parts of cars to correspond to parts of the body. The front bumper is
daw, the chin or jaw; the front
fender is wos, the shoulder; the rear fender is gun, the arm and hand; the chassis is chun, the back; the rear wheel is ke, the foot. The mouth is ze, the petrol-pipe opening. The nose is chee, the bonnet. The eyes are inda, the headlights. The forehead is ta, the roof.
The metaphorical naming continues inside. The car’s electrical wiring is tsaws, the veins. The battery is zik, the liver. The petrol tank is pit, the
stomach. The radiator is jisoleh, the lung; and its hose, chih, the intestine. The distributor is jih, the heart.
False friends punk (Japanese) at tyre chariot (French) trolley rower (Polish) bicycle
y (Danish) aeroplane
escape (Portuguese) car exhaust or gas leak arrear (Spanish) to drive on jam (Mongolian) road
Running on time
The Japanese have some
ne vocabulary for trains: gaton gaton is an electric train; gotongoton describes trains rattling along; shoo shoo po po is
the sound of a steam train; while kang kang kang is the noise of the level crossing. Kakekomi-josha describes all too vividly rushing onto a train to beat the closing doors, a common sight on Tokyo’s underground.
On re ection
Separatist
Many of the languages around the world are interrelated (for example, Spanish, French and Italian are all Latin languages), but by contrast, ‘isolate languages’ are those that do not appear to be related to any other at all. Some languages became isolate in historical
times, after all their known relatives became extinct; the Piraha language, for example, spoken along a tributary of the Amazon, is the last
times, after all their known relatives became extinct; the Piraha language, for example, spoken along a tributary of the Amazon, is the last surviving member of the Mura family of languages. Similar isolates include Burushaski, which is spoken in two Himalayan valleys; the Gilyak and Ket languages of Siberia; and Nivkh, a Mongolian language.
The Basque language Euskara is perplexing. It bears no resemblance at all to the languages of its surrounding countries. Some
similarities with Georgian have made linguists think it could be related to languages from the Caucasus. Others have tried to relate it to non-Arabic languages from the north of Africa. A more likely hypothesis argues that Euskara developed where it is still spoken and has always been the language of the Basques, who were gradually surrounded by people speaking other unrelated languages.
It Takes All Sorts gading yang tak retak (Indonesian) there is no ivory that isn’t cracked
Tolerant
W hen it comes to personality, some people seem to have been put on the planet to make life easier for everyone else: cooperar (Spanish, Central America) to go along willingly with someone else to one’s own disadvantage abbozzare (Italian) to accept meekly a far from satisfactory situation
ilunga (Tshiluba, Congo) someone who is ready to forgive any abuse the rst time, to tolerate it a second time, but never a third time
Flattering
Others take things too far: vaseliner (French) to atter (literally, to apply vaseline)
happobijin (Japanese) a beauty to all eight directions (a sycophant)
Radfahrer (German) one who atters superiors and browbeats subordinates (literally, a cyclist)
Fawning
The Japanese have the most vivid description for hangers-on:
kingyo no funi. It literally means ‘gold sh crap’ – a reference to the way that a sh
that has defecated often trails excrement behind it for some time.
Egotists
Sweet-talking others is one thing; massaging your own ego can be another altogether: echarse ores (Spanish) to blow your own trumpet (literally, to throw owers to yourself)
il ne se mouche pas du pied (French) he has airs above his station (literally, he doesn’t wipe his nose with his foot)
yi luan tou shi (Chinese) courting disaster by immoderately overestimating one’s own strength (literally, to throw an egg against a rock) tirer la couverture à soi (French) to take the lion’s share, all the credit (literally, to pull the blanket towards oneself)
The awkward squad
But there are worse horrors than the merely conceited: ataoso (Spanish, Central America) one who sees problems with everything kibitzer (Yiddish) one who interferes with unwanted advice nedovtipa (Czech) one who nds it di cult to take a hint
neko-neko (Indonesian) to have a creative idea which only makes things worse mukzib (Persian) one who eggs on or compels another to tell a lie
iant (Serbian) an attitude of proud de ance, stubbornness and self-preservation, sometimes to the detriment of everyone else – or even oneself er gibt seinen Senf dazu (German) one who always has something to say even if no one else cares (literally, he brings his mustard along)
Pariah
Some people are able to tough it out whatever happens, imposing their faults on others till the day they die. Others are more sensitive: scrostarsi (Italian) to remove oneself as if one were a scab (to move or go away because one’s presence is not desired) ulaia (Hawaiian) to live as a hermit because of disappointment panaphelika (Ancient Greek) to be deprived of all playmates
Lazybones
Others like to spend time alone for altogether di
erent reasons:
kopuhia (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) someone who disappears instead of dedicating himself to his work linti (Persian) someone who idles his day away lying under a tree
nubie yam (Waali, Ghana) a farmer who points to his farm but does little more (literally, nger farm) gober les mouches (French) to stand by idly (literally, to gulp down ies) zamzama (Arabic) to waft along in a relaxed style
goyang kaki (Indonesian) relaxing and enjoying oneself as problems are sorted out by others (literally, to swing one’s legs) kalincak-kelincok (Balinese, Indonesia) the back and forth, here and there or up and down of genuine drifting
Otherwise engaged
Some take idleness to another level: luftmensch (Yiddish) an impractical dreamer having no de nite business or income
viajou na maionese (Portuguese) to live in a dream world (literally, to travel in the mayonnaise) nglayap (Indonesian) to wander far from home with no particular purpose umudrovat se (Czech) to philosophize oneself into the madhouse
Situation vacant
Given that many outsiders think of the Japanese as a nation of workaholics, the language has an unusual number of verbs to describe di
erent
states of idleness: boketto is to gaze vacantly into space without thinking or doing anything; bosabosa is to sit around idly not doing what needs to be done; gorogoro is to spend time doing nothing (including lolling in a recumbent position); guzuguzu is to vacillate, procrastinate or to stretch out a job; while bura-bura is to wander around aimlessly, looking at the sights with no xed destination in mind.
Manic obsessive
No one, as far as we know, died of laziness. Frantic activity, however, is another thing … Putz mmel (German) a mania for cleaning
samlermani (Danish) a mania for collecting
Grüebelsucht (German) an obsession in which even the simplest facts are compulsively queried muwaswas (Arabic) to be obsessed with delusions
potto (Japanese) to be so distracted or preoccupied that you don’t notice what is happening right in front of you … and can lead to karoshi (Japanese), death from overwork.
The German mindset
A distinguishing feature of the German language is its creation of evocative concepts by linking di
erent words together, useful for depicting not
just characters but states of mind. Most of us know Schadenfreude (literally, damage joy), which describes what we hardly dare express: that feeling of malicious pleasure in someone else’s misfortune. But there are numerous others. We’ve all had a boss who’s su ered from Betriebsblindheit: organizational blindness; and who has not worked alongside someone who is
sselig: ustered to the point of incompetence?
That very same person could be described as a Korinthenkacker: one who is overly concerned with trivial details.
False friends fatal (German) annoying
hardnekkig (Dutch) stubborn
lawman (Aukan, Suriname) crazy person estúpido (Portuguese) rude
morbido (Italian) soft, tender
xerox (French) unoriginal or robotic individual extravagans (Hungarian) eccentric konsekvent (Swedish) consistent
Fools and rogues
There’s a rich stream of invective running through the world’s languages when it comes to people we regard as less intelligent than ourselves. The Cantonese equivalent to ‘you’re as thick as two short planks’ is the equally graphic nie hochi yat gau faan gam , ‘you look like a clump of
cooked rice’, while the German equivalent to ‘not quite all there’ is nicht alle Tassen im Schrank haben , ‘not to have all the cups in the cupboard’ (not to have all one’s marbles).
Meanwhile the Maoris of the Cook Islands have the telling word varevare, which means ‘to be very young and still quite hopeless’.
Schlumps and schleppers
W hen it comes to insults, few languages can compete with Yiddish. In this wonderfully evocative language, a fool can be not just a shmutte or a schlump but a nar, a tam, a tipesh, a bulvan, a shoyte, a peysi, a kuni lemel, a lekish, or even a shmenge.
Not content with these, the language gets more speci c. A loser is a schlepper, a shmugeggeshnorrer, a paskudnik, a pisher, a yold or even a
no-goodnik. A klutz is a clumsy, oa sh bungler and a lekish ber schlemiel is a fool without luck. A fool who is not just stupid but inept is a schlimazl. A farshpiler is one who has lost all his money gambling. The saddest of all is perhaps the nisrof , the burnt-out fool. Other ne insults in Yiddish have included:
nebbish a nobody
nudnick a yakky, aggressively boring person putz a simpleton
shlub a clumsy and ill-mannered person
shmegegge a foolish person and a sycophant
shmegegge a foolish person and a sycophant shmendrick a timid nonentity
shnook a nice but pathetic gullible person
All talk
W orse than the fool is one of those people who occur in every organization on the planet: the
buchipluma (Caribbean Spanish), the person who
promises but doesn’t deliver. The same language has a useful verb for the way such people behave: culipanear, which means to look for excuses for not meeting obligations.
Fibbers
Even the infuriating buchipluma is surely preferable to the outright liar. And, as Japanese vividly shows, from lying to someone (
nimaijita o
tsukau, to use two tongues), it’s just a small step to duping ( hanage o nuku handy, literally, to pull the hair out of their nostrils) or doublecrossing them (negaeri o utsu, literally, to roll them over while sleeping).
Salt of the earth
W hat a shame that we can’t all be uncomplicatedly good: for example, when you’re acting with
meraki (a Greek word) you’re doing something
with soul, creativity or love, and putting something of yourself into what you’re doing: tubli (Estonian) orderly, strong, capable, hard-working, persistent, productive, setting an example to others, behaving properly or having will power
ondinnonk (Iroquoian, U SA) the soul’s innermost benevolent desires or the angelic parts of human nature
Indonesian two in one
Indonesian has many words that combine two aspects of character or appearance into a single simple word. So you might well know someone who is ricuh, that is, chaotic and noisy; pandir, stupid, but innocent and honest; mungil, tiny and pretty; merana, lonely and miserable; lencir, slim and tall; bangkot, old and cantankerous; or klimis, smooth and shiny.
Tall poppies
Sweden is a country that not only values the concept of a lack of extremes but even has a word for it –
lagom. In this society, it’s generally not
thought to be good to stand out too much. Everything and everyone is supposed to be just lagom – which is not to say ‘boring’, so much as ‘not too much and not too little’, ‘not good and not bad’, ‘okay’, ‘just right’, ‘so-so’.
So so similar
The concept of ‘so-so’ is found in many languages, and often in a similarly repetitive form: it’s
tako tako in Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian, aixi aixi
in Catalan, cosi cosi in Italian, wale wale in Chipewyan (Canada), hanter hanter in Cornish, thik thik in Gujarati (India), hai hao in Mandarin, jako tako in Polish, ithin ithin in Sinhala (Sri Lanka), soyle boyle in Turkish, etsi ketsi in Greek, atal atal in Occitan (France), asina asina in Asturian (Spain), elae belae in Azeri (Azerbaijan) and azoy azoy in Yiddish.
Happy talk
Good or bad, modest or conceited, hard-working or lazy, all of us experience the highs of emotion: tout baigne dans l´huile (French) hunky-dory (literally, everything is bathing in oil)
ai bu shishou (Chinese) so delighted with something that one can scarcely take one’s eyes o it ichigo-ichie (Japanese) the practice of treasuring each moment and trying to make it perfect
ichigo-ichie (Japanese) the practice of treasuring each moment and trying to make it perfect pulaka (Tulu, India) hair that stands on end with ecstasy
bas-bhualadh (Scottish Gaelic) clapping one’s hands from joy or grief
tuman (Indonesian) to nd something enjoyable and want to have it again mubshar (Persian) to be exhilarated with good news zhuxing (Chinese) to add to the fun
Side-splitting sekaseka (Bemba, Congo and Zambia) to laugh without reason tergelak (Malay) laughing unintentionally
katahara itai (Japanese) laughing so much that one side of your abdomen hurts
Enraptured
The Japanese have particularly wonderful words for the deep joy that can come as a response to beauty:
uttori is to be enraptured by the
loveliness of something; aware describes the feelings created by ephemeral beauty; yoin is the reverberating sensation after the initial stimulus has ceased; while yugen goes further, describing an awareness of the universe that triggers feelings too deep and mysterious for words.
Down in the dumps
The causes of unhappiness are many, varied and not always easy to put your
nger on:
termangu-mangu (Indonesian) sad and not sure what to do
mono-no-aware (Japanese) appreciating the sadness of existence
avoir le cafard (French) to be down in the dumps (literally, to have the cockroach)
litost (Czech) the state of torment created by the sudden realization of one’s own misery kusat’ sebe lokti (Russian) to cry over spilt milk (literally, to bite one’s elbows) emakou (Gilbertese, Kiribati) a secret sorrow
bel hevi (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) the heavy sinking feeling that often accompanies extreme sadness (literally, belly heavy)
Weltschmerz
W eltschmerz is another untranslatable German word. It broadly means world-weariness, but carries with it both a sense of sorrow at the evils of the world and a yearning for something better. Aspects of it can be found in the Welsh hiraeth, a mingled feeling of sadness, somewhere
between homesickness and nostalgia, and the Portuguese saudade, the longing for things that were or might have been. Nostalgia also lies at the heart of the Brazilian Portuguese word banzo, which describes a slave’s profound longing for his African homeland.
In the slough of despond
There are various ways to deal with feelings of despair. Either you can take a philosophical view and try to avoid the Persian concept of sanud, that is, the exercise of the mind upon an unpro table subject; or you can adopt the defeatist attitude inherent in the Indonesian word jera, which
that is, the exercise of the mind upon an unpro table subject; or you can adopt the defeatist attitude inherent in the Indonesian word jera, which means ‘so scared by a past experience that one will never want to do it again’. Or you can take refuge in Kummerspeck, a German word that describes the excess weight you will gain from emotion-related overeating (literally, grief bacon).
Seeing red
Therapists would suggest it’s better out than in: mukamuka (Japanese) feeling so angry one feels like throwing up geragas (Malay) to comb one’s hair in anger
feau (Samoan) to recall good deeds done when one is angry
On re ection
Survival instincts
Even though some languages are vanishing, in a world less hospitable to aboriginal peoples and more swamped by English, this does not mean it’s impossible to keep endangered languages alive. Mohawk, for instance, spoken by indigenous groups in Quebec, was in retreat until the 1970s, when it was rst codi ed and then taught to children in schools. Welsh and Maori have both made a comeback with
concerted o cial help; and Navajo (U SA), Hawaiian and several languages spoken in remote parts of Botswana have been arti cally revived.
Iceland has managed to keep alive its native tongue, even though it is spoken by no more than 275,000 people; and the ancient Nordic
language of Faroese, thought to have been once spoken by the Vikings, was preserved from extinction by the Danish government, who even went as far as putting grammar hints and verb declensions on the sides of milk cartons.
A powerful political purpose is another force for reviving an old language. Resurgent nationalism helped bring Irish back from the
Celtic twilight; while the establishment of the nation of Israel has turned Hebrew from a written language into a proudly spoken national tongue.
Falling in Love nam gawa the wei woe lu yoe; phung dang si yang they nang yoe (Dzongkha, Bhutan) fun and pleasure are located below the navel; dispute and trouble are also found there The language of love
In English the language of love is, metaphorically speaking, a violent and disorientating one: we fall in love, are love struck and struggle to avoid heartbreak. It seems things are the same throughout the world: harawata o tatsu (Japanese) to break one’s heart (literally, to sever one’s intestines) coup de foudre (French) love at rst sight (literally, a ash of lightning)
mune o kogasu (Japanese) to pine away (literally, to scorch one’s chest)
tragado como media de cartero (Colombian Spanish) being hopelessly in love (literally, swallowed like a postman’s sock)
The rules of attraction …
Physical beauty is often the starting point for love: pichón (Caribbean Spanish) a handsome young man (literally, young pigeon)
qiubo (Chinese) the bright and clear eyes of a beautiful woman mahj (Persian) looking beautiful after a disease
avoir la frite (French) to be in great shape (literally, to have the French fry)
magandang hinaharap (Tagalog, Philippines) nice breasts (literally, nice future) dayadrsti (Hindi) compassionate eyes
kemayu (Indonesian) to act like a beauty Sometimes the basic materials need a little assistance: slampadato (Italian) a person who gets tanned with an infrared lamp
zhengrong (Chinese) to tidy oneself up or to improve one’s looks by plastic surgery
… and of repulsion
The Japanese have a particular word for a situation in which attraction is all too brief. behind but not from the front.
Bakku-shan is a girl who appears pretty when seen from
Would like to meet
English is somewhat de
cient in words that describe the very early moments of attraction. We need a word like
mamihlapinatapei, from the
Fuegian language found in Chile, meaning that shared look of longing where both parties know the score yet neither is willing to make the rst move. Other, more active approaches include:
basabasa (Arabic) to ogle, make sheep’s eyes, cast amorous glances
piropo (Spanish) a compliment paid on the street (which ranges from polite to raunchy)
xiyyet (Dardja, Algeria) he is sewing (this is said of someone who is trying to win over a girl, especially by talking)
pulir hebillas (Spanish, Central America) to polish belt buckles (to dance very closely)
The direct approach
The Italians are masters at taking matters to the next level:
pomicione is a man who seeks any chance of being in close physical contact with a
woman; puntare is to stare intensely at the one to whom one feels sexually attracted; while tirino is the sound made by smacking one’s lips together like a loud kiss to indicate attraction. Sometimes a boy will say cibi cierre to a girl ( CBCR). This is an acronym of cresci bene che ripasso: ‘if you still look like that when you’ve grown up, I will come and pay you a call’ …
Dîner à un … while the French have perfected the art of rejection: poser un lapin à quelqu’un to stand someone up (literally, to lay a rabbit on someone)
Saint-Glinglin a date that is put o inde nitely ( jusqu’ à la Saint-Glinglin means never in a month of Sundays)
Japanese dating
Rainen no kono hi mo issho ni waratteiyoh is one of the country’s most successful chat-up lines; it means ‘this time next year let’s be laughing together’.
Commitment-phobe
The romantic ideal is Einfühlungsvermögen, the German word for an understanding so intimate that the feelings, thoughts and motives of one person are readily comprehended by the other; but the route to that happy state can so often be confused by the insincere: biodegradabile (Italian) someone who falls in love easily and often capkinlasmak (Turkish) to turn into a skirt chaser
leonera (Spanish, Central America) a bachelor pad (literally, a lion’s den)
vieux marcheur (French) an elderly man who still chases women (literally, an old campaigner)
False friends
nob (Wolof, Gambia and Senegal) to love city (Czech) feelings
dating (Chinese) to ask about, enquire baron (French) sugar daddy
agony (Rasta Patois) sensations felt during sex bonk (Afrikaans) lump or thump song (Vietnamese) to live life
A airs of the heart
W hen things can go so sweetly … alamnaka (U lwa, Nicaragua) to nd one’s niche, to meet a kindred soul
pelar la pava (Caribbean Spanish) to be alone romancing one’s sweetheart (literally, to pluck a female turkey) andare in camporella (Italian) to go into a secluded spot in the countryside to make love
hiza o majieru (Japanese) to have an intimate talk (literally, to mingle each other’s knees) queesting (Dutch) allowing a lover access to one’s bed under the covers for chit-chat ghalidan (Persian) to move from side to side as lovers, to roll, wallow or tumble … how can they be so bitter at the end? aki ga tatsu (Japanese) a mutual cooling of love (literally, the autumn breeze begins to blow) razblyuto (Russian) the feeling for someone once but no longer loved
dejar con el paquete (Spanish) abandoning a woman one has made pregnant (literally, to drop with the parcel) plaqué (French) dumped (literally, laid at or rugby-tackled)
cavoli riscaldati (Italian) an attempt to revive a lapsed love a air (literally, reheated cabbage)
Reality check
The Boro people of India have a sophisticated understanding of the complexities of loving:
onsay means to pretend to love; ongubsy means to
love deeply, from the heart; and onsia signi es loving for the very last time.
Love for sale
W ho better than the pragmatic French to construct a precise terminology for love as a business, ranging from a
passe raide, the basic price for a
sex session, to the kangourou, a prospective client who hesitates (hops around) before deciding on a girl. When it comes to those who ply their
trade, there are many equally speci c terms. An escaladeuse de braguette is, literally a zipper climber; a beguineuse is an unreliable prostitute; a
wagonnière is a woman who solicits on trains; a truqueur means a rentboy who blackmails his clients; while a cocotte-minute is a pro who turns many tricks very quickly (literally, a pressure cooker). There is even an expression, commencer à rendre la monnaie , to show signs of age, which is said of prostitutes who in better days didn’t have to give change for large notes.
Let’s talk about sex
The Mosuo people in China have three sacred taboos: it’s forbidden to eat dog, to eat cat and to talk about sex. The latter taboo doesn’t seem to apply elsewhere: avoir la moule qui bâille (French) to be horny (literally, to have a yawning mussel) menggerumut (Indonesian) to approach somebody quietly in the night for sex jalishgar (Persian) to be addicted to sexual intercourse
carezza (Italian) sexual intercourse in which ejaculation is avoided (literally, caressing or petting)
Penis dialogues
There are many ways to describe
le petit chauve au col roulé (French), the little baldy in a turtleneck, and the respect with which he’s treated:
narachastra prayoga (Sanskrit) men who worship their own sexual organ
enfundarla (Spanish) to put one’s penis back in one’s pants (or one’s sword back in its sheath) zakilpistola (Basque) a su erer from premature ejaculation (literally, pistol prick) koro (Japanese) the hysterical belief that one’s penis is shrinking into one’s body camisa-de-venus (Brazilian Portuguese) a condom (literally, shirt of Venus)
The Tagalog speakers of the Philippines take things further with the batuta ni Drakula (‘Dracula’s nightstick’). Added sexual pleasure can be gained from pilik-mata ng kambing (goat’s eyelashes) or bulitas (small plastic balls surgically implanted to enlarge the penises of young Filipinos).
Sex for one …
The vocabulary is no less specialized when it comes to what the Italians describe as
assolo, a solo performance. U p-retiree-hue (Rapa Nui, Easter
Islands) is to touch one’s penis with the intention of masturbating, while the Japanese have several graphic terms for the experience. Male
masturbation is referred to as senzuri (a thousand rubs), with the added re nement of masu-kagami (masturbating in front of a mirror). Female masturbation, by contrast, is described as shiko shiko manzuri (ten thousand rubs) and suichi o ireru ( icking the switch).
… and for many
Similar sensations can be experienced in company: partousard (French) a participator in group sex
movimento (Italian) a circle of acquaintances who are actual or potential sexual partners agapemone (Greek) an establishment where free love is practised
sacanagem (Brazilian Portuguese) the practice of openly seeking sexual pleasure with one or more partners other than one’s primary partner (during Mardi Gras)
Paci c holiday
On the islands of U lithi in the Western Paci
c, the Micronesian people like to take a holiday from their regular lovemaking. Pi supuhui (literally,
a hundred pettings) describes a holiday dedicated to mate-swapping. People pair up and go into the woods to share a picnic and make love.
Married couples are not allowed to go together and the selection of new partners is encouraged. If there is an unequal number of participants, some couples may become threesomes.
The desired result or the result of desire
The French have a charming expression for this:
On re ection
voir les anges , which means to see angels.
Thumbs up
Gestures should be used carefully when abroad for fear of misunderstandings. The cheery thumbs-up used by the English or Americans means ‘up yours’ in the Middle East and ‘sit on this’ in Sardinia. In France, pressing a thumb against the ngertips means something is ooh-la-la parfait or just right, while in Egypt, the same gesture means ‘stop right there’.
An American’s sign for ‘okay’, made by touching the tip of the thumb to the tip of the fore nger, and used internationally by scuba
divers, is an insult in Brazil. In some countries, the V sign can be negative, in others positive; in Italy, reversed, it approximates to ‘to hell with you’. In some countries, icking your thumb across the teeth tells the other person he’s a cheapskate. Just about everywhere
grabbing the crook of your elbow and raising your st is rude. In the Arab world, the middle nger pointed downwards and moving up and down, with the palm horizontal, equates to a raised middle nger in England.
The Family Circle bu yin, bu long, bu cheng gu gong (Chinese)
unless one pretends to be stupid or deaf it is di cult to be a mother-in-law or father-in-law Getting hitched
There comes a point, in most societies, where a relationship is formalized in law. As the Romanians say:
dragostea e oarbă , dar căsătoria îi
găseşte leacul, love is blind, but marriage nds a cure: strga (Bulgarian) a survey or visit to the home of a prospective bride kumoru aluweik (Khowar, Pakistan) to lure a girl into marriage
lobola (Manu Bantu, Zaire) the bride price (which is usually paid in cattle) casarse de penalti (Spanish) to get married after discovering a pregnancy
dar el braguetazo (Spanish) the marriage of a poor man to a rich woman
skeinkjari (Faroese, Denmark) the man who goes among wedding guests o ering them alcohol (‘that popular chap’)
Trouble and strife
Does one always live happily ever after? The evidence of our global languages suggests that it’s not always the case: desortijarse (Caribbean Spanish) to return the engagement ring
kotsuniku no araso (Japanese) domestic strife (literally, the ght between bones and esh) ava (Tahitian) wife (but it also means whisky)
pelotilla (Caribbean Spanish) argument among spouses ainolektros (Ancient Greek) fatally wedded
talik (Malay) to marry with the stipulation of automatic divorce for a husband’s desertion rujuk (Indonesian) to remarry the wife you’ve already divorced
Yang
Sometimes, the man is clearly to blame when things go wrong (with the emphasis on in
delity, desertion and gambling):
pu’ukaula (Hawaiian) to set up one’s wife as a stake in gambling qum’us (Persian) one who pimps his own wife
talak (Arabic) a husband who frees himself from his wife
agunah (Hebrew) a woman whose husband has deserted her or has disappeared and who is restrained from remarrying until she shows a bill of divorce or proof of his death
bawusni (Persian) a wife whose husband does not love her and seldom visits
Yin
At other times the fault lies with the woman (with the emphasis on laziness, bullying and antipathy): farik (Persian) a woman who hates her husband jefa (Caribbean Spanish) a domineering wife
shiri ni shikareru (Japanese) a husband who is under his wife’s thumb (literally, under her buttocks) polohana’ole (Hawaiian) a woman who refuses to work but lives on her husband’s earnings baulero (Caribbean Spanish) a henpecked husband who cannot go out alone
purik (Indonesian) to return to one’s parents’ home as a protest against one’s husband
Family matters
Once married, man and wife may
nd that their greatest problem is getting enough time alone. Extending the family can work both ways:
bol (Mayan, Mexico) foolish in-laws
sitike (Apache, U SA) in-laws who are formally committed to help during crises
todamane (Tulu, India) entertaining a son-in-law or mother-in-law for the rst time bruja (Spanish, South America) a mother-in-law (literally, a witch)
biras (Malay) the relationship between two brothers’ wives or two sisters’ husbands
Chercher la femme?
W hen it comes to the family unit being threatened, why is there is no such thing as an
homme fatal? Caribbean Spanish di erentiates between a
woman who prefers married men (comadreja, literally, a weasel) and one who lures them into extramarital relationships ( ciegamachos). Can it
really be that women are more predatory than men? Or is it that by luridly painting women as lustful (aa’amo in Hawaiian means ‘an insatiable woman’) and conniving (alghunjar is Persian for the feigned anger of a mistress), men the world over have cleverly avoided any blame for their
own adulterous behaviour? Even when they’re guilty, they try to keep the linguistic upper hand, if the German word Drachenfutter is anything to go by. Literally translated as ‘dragon fodder’ it describes the peace o erings that guilty husbands o er their spouses.
One cure for adultery
Rhaphanidosis was a punishment meted out to adulterous men by cuckolded husbands in Ancient Greece. It involved inserting a radish up their backside.
An avuncular solution
The Western ideal of a monogamous husband and wife is not universal. There is, for example, no word for father in Mosuo (China). The nearest translation for a male parental gure is axia, which means friend or lover; and while a child will have only one mother, he or she might have a
sequence of axia. An axia has a series of nighttime trysts with a woman, after which he returns home to his mother. Any children resulting from these liaisons are raised in the woman’s household. There are no fathers, husbands or marriages in Mosuo society. Brothers take care of their sisters’ children and act as their fathers. Brothers and sisters live together all their lives in their mothers’ homes.
Polygamy on ice
Other societies replace the complexities of monogamy with those of polygamy, as, for example, the Inuit of the Arctic: angutawkun a man who exchanges wives with another man or one of the men who have at di erent times been married to the same woman areodjarekput to exchange wives for a few days only, allowing a man sexual rights to his woman during that period
nuliinuaroak sharing the same woman; more speci cally, the relationship between a man and his wife’s lover when the husband has not consented to the arrangement
False friends dad (Albanian) wet nurse or babysitter
babe (SiSwati, Swaziland) father or minister mama (Georgian) father brat (Russian) brother
parents (Portuguese) relatives loo (Fulani, Mali) storage pot bang (Albanian) paper bag
sin (Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian) son
Special relations
W hether it’s because they have big families, time on their hands in large empty spaces, or for another reason, the Sami people of Northern Scandinavia have highly speci c terms for family members and relationships: goaski are one’s mother’s elder sisters, and sivjjot is one’s older
sister’s husband; one’s mother’s younger sisters are muotta and one’s father’s younger sisters are siessa; one’s mother’s brothers are eanu and her brothers’ wives are ipmi; one’s brother’s wife is a mangi. The nearby Swedes exhibit a similar subtlety in their terms for grandfathers and grandmothers: farfar is a father’s father, morfar is a mother’s father, farmor is a father’s mother and mormor is a mother’s mother. This pattern of precise names for individual family members had a parallel in an older society. Latin distinguished
from avunculus (mother’s brother); and matertera (father’s sister) from amita (mother’s sister).
patruus (father’s brother)
Of even earlier origins, the Australian Kamilaroi nganuwaay means a mother’s cross-cousin’s daughter and also a mother’s father’s sister’s
daughter as well as a mother’s mother’s brother’s daughter’s daughter as well as a mother’s mother’s brother’s son’s daughter.
Tahitian taio
Meanwhile, in the warm climate of Tahiti, the word
taio (Maohi, French Polynesia) means a formal friendship between people not related by
ancestors, which involves the sharing of everything, even sex partners. A taio relationship can be male-to-male, female-to-female or male-tofemale.
Essential issue
L anguage testi
es to the importance most cultures attach to having children, as well as the mixed emotions the little darlings bring with them.
Yiddish, for example, details both extremes of the parental experience, nakhes being the mixture of pleasure and pride a parent gets from a child, and tsuris the grief and trouble:
izraf (Persian) producing ingenious, witty children
niyoga (Hindi) the practice of appointing a woman to bear a male heir who will be conceived by proxy
menguyel-uyel (Indonesian) to hug, cuddle and tickle someone (usually a child) as an expression of a ection gosh-pech (Persian) twisting the ears of a schoolboy as a punishment
abtar (Persian) one who has no o spring; a loser (literally, a bucket without a handle)
Parental ambitions
In contrast with the paternal indulgence of the French
ls à papa (a son whose father makes things very easy for him) are some stricter maternal
leanings: kyoikumama (Japanese) a woman who crams her children to succeed educationally
ciegayernos (Caribbean Spanish) a woman who looks for a husband for her daughter mammismo (Italian) maternal control and interference that continues into adulthood
Home is where the heart is
Not everyone lives in a standard box-like house: berhane (Turkish) an impractically large mansion, rambling house
angase (Tulu, India) a building where the front part is used as a shop and the back as a residence vidhvasram (Hindi) a home for widows And rooms have many uses: Folterkammer (German) a gym or exercise room (literally, a torture chamber) ori (Khakas, Siberia) a hole in a yurt to store potatoes
tyconna (Anglo-Indian) an Indian basement room where the hottest part of the day is passed in the hottest season of the year vomitarium (Latin) a room where a guest threw up in order to empty his stomach for more feasting
Bukumatala
In the Kiriwinian language of New Guinea a
bukumatala is a ‘young people’s house’, where adolescents go to stay on reaching puberty. As the
main aim is to keep brothers and sisters away from the possibility of incestuous sexual contact close relatives will never stay in the same house. The boys return to the parental home for food and may help with the household work; the girls eat, work and occasionally sleep at home, but will generally spend the night with their adolescent sweethearts in one bukumatala or another.
On re ection
Him b’long Missy Kween
An urgent need to communicate can create a language without native speakers. Pidgin, for example, has developed from English among people with their own native tongues. Fine examples of pidgin expressions in the Tok Pisin language of Papua New Guinea are: liklik
box you pull him he cry you push him he cry (an accordion) and bigfella iron walking stick him go bang along topside (a ri e). When the Duke of Edinburgh visits Vanuatu, in the Paci c, he is addressed as oldfella Pili-Pili him b’long Missy Kween , while Prince Charles is Pikinini b’long Kween .
Clocking On l’argent ne se trouve pas sous le sabot d’un cheval (French) money isn’t found under a horse’s hoof
Tinker, tailor …
The Japanese phrase for ‘making a living’ is
yo o wataru, which literally means ‘to walk across the world’, and it’s certainly true that when the
chips are down there are some intriguing ways of earning a crust: folapostes (Spanish) a worker who climbs telephone or electrical poles geshtenjapjeks (Albanian) a street vendor of roast chestnuts koshatnik (Russian) a dealer in stolen cats
dame-pipi (French) a female toilet assistant
tarriqu-zan (Persian) an o cer who clears the road for a prince
kualanapuhi (Hawaiian) an o cer who keeps the ies away from the sleeping king by waving a brush made of feathers buz-baz (old Persian) a showman who made a goat and a monkey dance together capoclaque (Italian) someone who coordinates a group of clappers fyrassistent (Danish) an assistant lighthouse keeper cigerci (Turkish) a seller of liver and lungs
lomilomi (Hawaiian) the masseur of the chief, whose duty it was to take care of his spittle and excrement
The daily grind
Attitudes to work vary not just from workplace to workplace, but from one side of the o
ce to the other:
fucha (Polish) to use company time and resources for one’s own purposes haochi-lanzuo (Chinese) to be fond of food and averse to work
aviador (Spanish, Central America) a government employee who shows up only on payday chupotero (Spanish) a person who works little but has several salaries
madogiwazoku (Japanese) those who have little to do (literally, window gazers)
jeito (Brazilian Portuguese) to nd a way to get something done, no matter what the obstacles
Métro-boulot-dodo
This cheery French expression describes life in a none-too-optimistic way. Literally translated as ‘tube-work-sleep’ it summarizes the daily grind, hinting strongly that it’s pointless.
Carrot …
Motivation is a key factor, and employers who want maximum productivity
nd di erent ways of achieving this:
Mitbestimmung (German) the policy in industry of involving both workers and management in decision-making vydvizhenchestvo (Russian) the system of promotion of workers to positions of responsibility and authority
kaizen (Japanese) the continuous improvement of working practices and personal e ciency as a business philosophy
… and stick paukikape (Ancient Greek) the projecting collar worn by slaves while grinding corn in order to prevent them from eating it.
German work ethic
The Germans have long had a reputation for working hard. Inevitably, though, alongside the
U rlaubsmu el, or person who is against taking
vacations, there is also the Trittbrettfahrer (literally, running-board rider), the person who pro ts from another’s work. And along with the
studious Technonomade (someone who conducts most of their business on the road, using laptops and mobiles), you will nd the less scrupulous schwarzarbeiten (preferring to do work not reported for taxes).
False friends biro (Arabic) o ce
adman (Arabic) o ering better guaranty ganga (Spanish) bargain
mixer (Hungarian) barman slug (Gaulish) servant
fat (Cantonese) prosperity hot (Romanian) thief baker (Dutch) nurse
The deal Others have less noble ways of getting ahead: zhengquan-duoli (Chinese) to jockey for power and scramble for pro t
jinetear el dinero (Spanish, Central America) to pro t by delaying payment tadlis (Persian) concealing the faults of goods on sale
qiang jingtou (Chinese) a ght by a cameraman for a vantage point (literally, stealing the show)
grilagem (Brazilian Portuguese) the old practice of putting a cricket in a box of newly faked documents, until the moving insect’s excrement makes the papers look plausibly old and genuine (literally, cricketing)
On the take
If sharp practice doesn’t work, then the best thing to do is cast all scruples aside: bustarella (Italian) a cash bribe (literally, a little envelope)
dhurna (Anglo-Indian) extorting payment by sitting at the debtor’s door and staying there without food, threatening violence until your
dhurna (Anglo-Indian) extorting payment by sitting at the debtor’s door and staying there without food, threatening violence until your demands are met
sola (Italian) a swindle in which you don’t share the loot with your accomplice
sokaiya (Japanese) a blackmailer who has a few shares in a large number of companies and tries to extort money by threatening to cause trouble at the shareholders’ annual general meetings
TST (Tahu Sama Tahu ) (Indonesian) ‘you know it, I know it’: a verbal agreement between two people, one usually a government o cial, to cheat the state
Hard cash
In the end, it all comes down to one thing: lechuga (Caribbean Spanish) a dollar bill (literally, lettuce) kapusta (Russian) money (literally, cabbage)
mahiyana (Persian) monthly wages or sh jelly
wampum (Algonquian, Canada) strings of beads and polished shells, used as money by native Americans
Spongers
If you don’t have much money yourself, there are always ways around the problem: gorrero (Spanish, Central America) a person who always allows others to pay piottaro (Italian) one who carries very little cash
Zechpreller (German) someone who leaves without paying the bill dar mico (Caribbean Spanish) to consume without paying
seigneur-terrasse (French) one who spends much time but little money in a café (literally, a terrace lord)
Neither a borrower nor a lender be
Indonesian has the word
pembonceng to describe someone who likes to use other people’s facilities, but the Pascuense language of Easter Island
has gone one step further in showing how the truly unscrupulous exploit friends and family. Tingo is to borrow things from a friend’s house, one by one, until there’s nothing left; while hakamaroo is to keep borrowed objects until the owner has to ask for them back.
What is yours is mine
It’s a short step to outright crime: mencomot (Indonesian) stealing things of small value such as food or drinks, partly for fun baderotte (Danish) a beach thief
Agobilles (German) burglar’s tools
ajane (Tulu, India) the noise of a thief
ajane (Tulu, India) the noise of a thief
pukau (Malay) a charm used by burglars to make people fall asleep
azote de barrio (Spanish, Central America) a criminal who concentrates on a particular neighbourhood accordéon (French) an extensive criminal record
A life of crime
Italian o
ers a rich vocabulary for di erent types of crime and criminal. Smonta, for example, is a theft carried out on a bus or train from
which the perpetrator gets o as soon as possible, while scavalco (literally, climbing over) is a robbery carried out via a window or balcony. A
night-time burglary is a serenata (literally, a serenade) which may well involve an orchestra, or gang of thieves, possibly accompanied by a palo, an accomplice who acts as lookout.
Extreme measures
If all else fails one of the following may be necessary: nakkeskud (Danish) a shot in the back of the head gusa (Japanese) to decapitate with a sword
rejam (Malay) to execute by pressing into mud
Hiding the evidence
Persian o
ers a re nement to the crude concept of ‘murder’. The expression war nam nihadan means to kill and then bury someone, growing
owers over the grave in order to conceal it.
Chokey
As most career criminals would agree, the worst downside to a life of crime is getting caught: kaush (Albanian) a prison cell or paper bag
squadretta (Italian) a group of prison guards who specialize in beating up inmates (literally, small squad) fangfeng (Chinese) to let prisoners out for exercise or to relieve themselves Kassiber (German) a letter smuggled out of jail; a secret coded message jieyu (Chinese) to break into jail to rescue a prisoner
alba (Italian) the day one leaves prison after serving time
On re ection
Executive essentials
Conclusions cannot always be drawn about historical connections. Some words are similar in numerous languages. Much linguistic research has led to the theory of an U r-language (Indo–European) spoken some fty thousand years ago, from which most other languages have descended. Papa, for example, is used for ‘father’ in seventy per cent of languages across the world. Meanwhile, essential latterday vocabulary has crossed languages as easily as the jet-setting executive who uses it:
taxi is recognized in French, German, Swedish, Spanish, Danish, Norwegian, Dutch, Czech, Slovak, Portuguese, Hungarian and Romanian
sauna is recognized in Finnish, English, Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, French, German, Dutch, Danish, Lithuanian, Croatian/Bosnian/Serbian, Romanian and Norwegian
bank is recognized in Afrikaans, Amharic (Ethiopia), Bengali, Creole, Danish, Dutch, Frisian (Germany and Holland), German, Gujarati (India), Hungarian, Indonesian, Malay, Norwegian, Polish, Sinhala (Sri Lanka), Swedish and Wolof (Senegal and Gambia)
hotel is recognized in Afrikaans, Amharic, Asturian (Spain), Bulgarian, Catalan, Croatian/Bosnian/Serbian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, Frisian (Germany and Holland), Galician (Spain), German, Icelandic, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Slovak, Slovenian, Tswana (Botswana), U krainian and Yiddish
U krainian and Yiddish
Time O il giocare non è male, ma è male il perdere (Italian)
there is no harm in playing but great harm in losing Fun and games
Since the start of time the desire to
ll it has resulted in a wide range of recreations. Simplest are the games played by children the world over:
toto (Cook Islands Maori) a shout given in a game of hide-and-seek to show readiness for the search to begin pokku (Tulu, India) the throwing of pebbles up in the air and catching them as they fall kabaddi (Pakistan) a game where players take it in turn to hold their breath
bakpi (U lwa, Nicaragua) a game in which one is swung round in circles until dizzy
cnapan (Welsh) a game where each side tries to drive a wooden ball as far as possible in one direction kula’i wawae (Hawaiian) the pushing of one’s feet against others while seated kaengurustylte (Danish) a pogo stick (literally, kangaroo stilt)
Frozen walrus carcass
There are games that are highly speci
c to their culture and environment, such as the Inuit igunaujannguaq, which literally means frozen walrus
carcass. This is a game where the person in the centre tries to remain sti and is held in place by the feet of the people who are sitting in a circle. He is passed around the ring, hand over hand. Whoever drops him is the next ‘frozen walrus carcass’.
Honing your skills
As we grow up, what we look for in a game becomes increasingly challenging: shash-andaz (Persian) someone who tries to juggle with six balls so that four are always in the air
antyaksari (Hindi) a pastime in which participants recite verses in turn, the rst word of each new verse being the same as the last of the preceding one
kipapa (Hawaiian) to balance on top of a surfboard waterponie (Afrikaans) a jet ski
elastikspring (Danish) bungee jumping
The beautiful game
One game in particular has achieved international pre-eminence, and a range of closely observed terms to describe it: armario (Spanish) an awkward or unskilled player (literally, a wardrobe) wayra jayt’a (Quechuan, Peru) a poor player (literally, an air kicker) cazar (Spanish) to kick one’s opponent and not the ball ariete (Spanish) a battering ram (centre forward) verkac (Turkish) passing and running baile, danze (Spanish) and
melina (Italian) two players on the same team kicking the ball back and forth to kill time roligan (Danish) a non-violent supporter
Taking a punt
Sometimes, fun is not enough; chance or expertise has to be made more exciting by speculation: yetu (Tulu, India) gambling in which a coin is tossed and a bet laid as to which side it will fall on
quiniela (Spanish, U SA) a form of betting in which the punter must choose the rst and second-place winners in a race, though not necessarily in the correct order
parani (Cook Islands Maori) to put up a stake at poker without examining one’s cards The moral perhaps being that it’s better to be the Persian kuz-baz, one who lends money to gamblers, than a mukhtir, one who risks his property in gambling.
Fingers crossed
Some people are born lechero, a Latin American Spanish word for lucky, literally meaning a milkman. Others may be less fortunate: smolař (Czech) a person dogged by bad luck apes (Indonesian) to have double bad luck
kualat (Indonesian) to be bound to have bad luck as a result of behaving badly
Break a leg
It’s intriguing that wishing people good luck often takes the form of willing ill fortune on them. The German
Hals und Beinbruch , for example,
takes the spirit of the English expression ‘break a leg’ and goes one step further – it translates as ‘break your neck and a leg’. The Italians o er an even more gruesome prospect: the cheery wish in bocca al lupo means ‘into the mouth of the wolf’.
The competitive streak
Everyone likes to win, but the methods employed to get ahead range from the inventive to the underhand: chupar rueda (Spanish) running or cycling behind another to bene t from reduced wind resistance (literally, to suck wheel)
kunodesme (Ancient Greek) tying a string round the foreskin to stop the penis getting in the way during athletics (literally, putting the dog on a lead)
sirind (Persian) entangling legs in wrestling to trip your opponent (also a noose for catching prey by the foot) poki (Cook Islands Maori) to deal cards from the bottom of the pack (i.e. unfairly)
False friends
boghandel (Danish) bookshop
rain (Arabic) viewer, spectator arse (Turkish) violin bow
jerk (French) praise for an accomplished dancer pensel (Swedish) paintbrush
catch (French) all-in wrestling
Crooning
For those without sporting interest or prowess, entertainment can be found in the realms of music … iorram (Scottish Gaelic) a rowing song
dizlanmak (Turkish) to keep humming to yourself
Ohrwurm (German) a catchy tune that gets stuck in the brain or rapidly obsesses an entire population (literally, an ear worm)
ngak-ngik-ngok (Indonesian) a derogatory reference to the popularity of rock music in the 1960s (which was much despised by the late President Sukarno)
Twirling … or of dancing raspar canillas (Spanish, Central America) to dance (literally, to scrape shins) zapateado (Spanish) the fast footwork and stamping feet used in dancing mbuki-mvuki (Bantu, Zaire) to take o one’s clothes in order to dance Ball paradox (German) a ball at which women ask men to dance
verbunkos (Hungarian) a dance performed to persuade people to enlist in the army
Clubbing
The Italians helpfully di
erentiate between the sta outside and inside a night club: the buttadentro, the one who throws you in, is the person in
charge of choosing who gets through the door; while the buttafuori, the one who throws you out, is the bouncer.
Channel sur ng
For those who prefer to stay at home, there’s always the television, or
Panto elkino (slippers cinema), as it’s described in German. The Romani
language of the Gypsies takes a rather sterner view, regarding it as a dinnilos-dicking-muktar, or fool’s looking-box. Those with extra channels seem to be viewed as a cut-above in France, where cablé has now acquired the secondary sense of ‘hip and trendy’.
Hi-tech
Having invented numerous machines to give us free time, we now struggle to come up with others to help
ll it:
tamagotchi (Japanese) a lovable egg (an electronic device which copies the demands for food or attention of a pet) khali khukweni (Zulu) a mobile phone (literally, to make a noise in the pocket)
khali khukweni (Zulu) a mobile phone (literally, to make a noise in the pocket) dingdong (Indonesian) computer games in an arcade
toelva (Icelandic) a computer (formed from the words for digit and prophetess) xiaoxia (Chinese) small lobsters (new internet users)
The arts
There are some pastimes that are elevated, by their practitioners and admirers, onto an altogether higher plane: sprezzatura (Italian) the e ortless technique of a great artist
wabi (Japanese) a awed detail that enhances the elegance of the whole work of art
ostranenie (Russian) the process by which art makes familiar perceptions seem strange
Verfremdungse ekt (German) a dramatic technique that encourages the audience to preserve a sense of critical detachment from a play (literally, an alienating e ect)
Philistines
Those who aren’t impressed by artistic claims have coined a di
erent vocabulary:
megillah (Yiddish) an unnecessarily long and tiresome story or letter de pacotilla (Spanish) a third-rate writer or actor
Rolling up
In our health-conscious world, can smoking still be regarded as recreation? segatura (Italian) a cigarette made by mixing cigarette butts (literally, sawdust)
bakwe (Kapampangan, Philippines) to smoke a cigarette with the lit end in the mouth nakurit’sya (Russian) to smoke to one’s heart’s content
zakurit’sya (Russian) to make oneself ill by excessive smoking
On re ection
Married in a brothel
Some words must remain a mystery to all except native speakers. You would have had to have lived in these places for quite a while to understand how to use correctly some of the following, which in their simply translated de nitions contain what seem to us contradictory meanings:
hay kulu (Zarma, Nigeria) anything, nothing and also everything irpadake (Tulu, India) ripe and unripe sitoshna (Tulu, India) cold and hot
merripen (Romani, Gypsy) life and death gift (Norwegian) poison and married
magazinshchik (Russian) a shopkeeper and a shoplifter danh t (Vietnamese) a church and a brothel
aloha (Hawaiian) hello and goodbye (the word has many other meanings including love, compassion, welcome and good wishes)
Eating and Drinking olcsó húsnak híg a leve (Hungarian) cheap meat produces thin gravy
Hunting, shooting …
In many parts of the world putting together a meal isn’t always simply a matter of making a quick trip to the local supermarket: ortektes (Khakas, Siberia) to hunt together for ducks geragai (Malay) a hook for catching crocodiles sumpit (Malay) to shoot with a blowpipe
tu’utu’u (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) to hit the mark time and again (shooting with arrows) ajawy (Wayampi, Brazil) to hit the wrong target
… and shing
Fishing can be equally labour-intensive: ta’iti (Cook Islands Maori) to catch sh by encircling a rock with a net and frightening them out
kapau’u (Hawaiian) to drive sh into a waiting net by splashing or striking the water with a leafy branch lihnaka inska wauhwaia (U lwa, Nicaragua) to slap the water and cause the sh to jump into a boat
nono (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) sh thrown onto the beach by the waves or which jump out of the water into a boat kusyad (Persian) hard black stone thrown into the water to attract sh skevaer (Norwegian) good weather for shing
ah chamseyah chay (Chorti, Guatemala) someone who shes with dynamite pau heoheo (Hawaiian) a person who returns from shing without any sh
Global gastronomy
W hen it comes to the extraordinary things that people around the world enjoy putting in their mouths, it’s certainly true that one man’s meat is another man’s poison: ptsha (Yiddish) cow’s feet in jelly
poronkieli (Finnish) reindeer tongue
kokorec (Turkish) roasted sheep’s intestines nama-uni (Japanese) raw sea urchin
Beuschel (German) stewed calves’ lungs
acitron (Mexican Spanish) candied cactus
somad (Sherpa, Nepal) cheese that is old and smelly
calimocho (Spanish) a combination of Coca-Cola and red wine
Gummiadler (German) tough roast chicken (literally, rubber eagle) marilopotes (Ancient Greek) a gulper of coal dust ampo (Malay) edible earth
Menu envy
In some cases, though, it’s the unfamiliar word rather than the food itself that may alarm the outsider: ab (Gaelic) a mushroom
moron (Welsh) a carrot
aardappel (Dutch) a potato (literally, earth apple)
bikini (Spanish) a toasted ham and cheese sandwich gureepufuruutsu (Japanese) a grapefruit
Can’t cook …
W e all know the bene
ts of lumur (Malay), smearing ingredients with fat during cooking. But even that doesn’t always prevent kanzo (Hausa,
Nigeria), burnt food stuck to the bottom of the pot. Perhaps it would help to know the right moment for nisar-qararat (Persian), cold water poured into a pot to stop it getting burnt. The only failsafe way of escaping this is to buy your food boli boli (Aukan, Suriname) – already cooked.
Bon appetit
Now we’re ready to eat … protintheuo (Ancient Greek) to pick out the dainty bits beforehand, to help oneself rst muka (Hawaiian) a smacking sound with the lips, indicating that the food is tasty pakupaku (Japanese) to eat in big mouthfuls or take quick bites parmaklamak (Turkish) to eat with one’s ngers
sikkiwok (Inuit) to drink with your chin in the water
nusarat (Persian) crumbs falling from a table which are picked up and eaten as an act of piety
Boring food
The Japanese are emphatic about how dull food can be:
suna o kamu yo na means ‘like chewing sand’. They even have an evocative term for
rehashed food: nibansenji, meaning ‘brewing tea for the second time using the same tea-leaves’.
Cupboard love
Those who have food on the table will always be popular: giomlaireachd (Scottish Gaelic) the habit of dropping in at meal times aimerpok (Inuit) to visit expecting to receive food
luqma-shumar (Persian) one who attends feasts uninvited and counts the number of mouthfuls
Snap, crackle, pop!
Is it the way they hear it? Or is it simply what sells the product? The sound of Rice Crispies crackling and popping is very di
erent across
Europe: French: Cric! Crac! Croc!
German: Knisper! Knasper! Knusper! Spanish: Cris! Cras! Cros!
Rice
In Japan, gohan (literally, honourable food) comes in a bowl and means rice that is ready for eating. But it’s also a general name for rice and even extends in meaning to ‘meal’. At the other end of the spectrum is okoge, which is the scorched rice stuck on the bottom of the pan.
False friends prune (French) plum
gin (Phrygian, Turkey) to dry out korn (Swedish) barley sik (U krainian) juice
glass (Swedish) ice cream prick (Thai) pepper
chew (Amharic, Ethiopia) salt
Hawaiian bananas
Hawaii’s traditional cuisine is based on quite a restricted list of ingredients:
sh (there are 65 words alone for describing shing nets), sweet
potato (108 words), sugarcane (42) and bananas (47). The following are among the most descriptive words for this fruit: mai’a kaua lau a banana, dark green when young, and yellow and waxy when mature kapule a banana hanging until its skin has black spots palaku a thoroughly ripe banana
maui to wring the stem of a bunch of bananas to cause it to ripen
pola the hanging down of the blossom of a banana palm or a bunch of bananas halane a large bunch of bananas
hua’alua a double bunch of bananas
manila a banana tree not used for fruit but for rope bre
lele a tall wild banana placed near the altar, o ered to the gods and also used for love magic
Replete
As the meal enters its
nal stages, a sense of well-being descends on the diner – unless, of course, you’re su ering from bersat (Malay), food that
has gone down the wrong way … uitbuiken (Dutch) to take your time at dinner, relaxing between courses (literally, the expansion of the stomach) nakkele (Tulu, India) a man who licks whatever the food has been served on slappare (Italian) to eat everything, even to the point of licking the plate ’akapu’aki’aki (Cook Islands Maori) to belch repeatedly
Post-prandial
After it’s all over, what are you left with? femlans (U llans, Northern Ireland) the remains of a meal sunasorpok (Inuit) to eat the remains of others’ food
shitta (Persian) food left at night and eaten in the morning
Food poisoning
V isitors to Easter Island would be advised to distinguish between the Rapa Nui words
hakahana (leaving cooked food for another day) and kai
hakahana (food from the previous day that is starting to rot).
Hunger
Food cannot always be taken for granted.
Homowo is a Ghanaian word that means ‘hooting at hunger’. Local oral tradition recalls a distant past
when the rains failed and there was a terrible famine on the Accra Plains, the home of the Ga people. When a good harvest nally came and
there was more than enough to eat once again, the Ghanaians celebrated by holding a festival, still celebrated to this day, that ridiculed hunger.
Daily Bread
Food often
gures in colloquial sayings and proverbs, as this selection from Spain shows:
quien con hambre se acuesta con pan suena whoever goes to bed hungry dreams of bread (to have a bee in one’s bonnet)
agua fría y pan caliente, nunca hicieron buen vientre cold water and hot bread never made a good belly (oil and water never mix) pan tierno y leña verde, la casa pierde fresh bread and green rewood lose the house (two wrongs do not make a right) vale bolillo it’s worth a piece of bread (it doesn’t matter)
con su pan se lo coma may he eat it with bread (good luck to him)
Quenched
After all this talk of food and eating, it’s hard not to feel thirsty: gurfa (Arabic) the amount of water scooped up in one hand tegok (Malay) the water one can swallow at a gulp
qamus (Persian) [a well] so abundant in water that the bucket disappears
yewh-ma (Wagiman, Australia) to scrape out a hole in the sand to collect fresh water jabh (Persian) arriving at a well and nding no water
Bakbuk bakbuk bakbuk
L ike the English expression
‘glug glug glug’, the Hebrew word for bottle, bakbuk, derives from the sound of liquid being poured from it.
Pythons and sponges
Those who have not experienced
sgriob (Scottish Gaelic), the itchiness that overcomes the upper lip just before taking a sip of whisky, may have
su ered from olfrygt (Viking Danish), the fear of a lack of ale. And it’s not always a sh the world drinks like: beber como uma esponja (Portuguese) to drink like a sponge uwabami no yo ni nomu (Japanese) to drink like a python geiin suru (Japanese) to drink like a whale
bjor-reifr (Old Icelandic) cheerful from beer-drinking
sternhagelvoll (German) completely drunk (literally, full of stars and hail)
Plastered
To the sober, it’s always intriguing to see what drunken people are convinced they can do when under the in
uence, such as trying to walk in a
straight line (kanale’o in Hawaiian). Perhaps it’s best to bear in mind the Romanian proverb dacă doi spun că eşti beat , du-te şi te culcă, if two people say you’re drunk, go to sleep.
The morning after at have tømmermaend (Danish) having a hangover (literally, to have carpenters, i.e. hearing the noise of drilling, sawing, etc.)
Katzenjammer (German) a very severe hangover (literally, the noise made by extremely miserable cats)
A useful excuse
As they say in Aymara (Bolivia and Peru),
umjayanipxitütuwa –they must have made me drink.
On re ection
Doormat dandy
L anguages are full of traps for the unwary, particularly when it comes to words that sound similar but mean very di Spanish: el papa the Pope; la papa potato
Albanian: cubar ladies’ man, womanizer; cube proud, courageous girl
Kerja, Indonesia: aderana prostitute; aderòna perfume Italian: zerbino doormat; zerbinotto dandy Arabic: khadij premature child; khidaj abortion
Albanian: shoq husband; shog bald man; shop blockhead
erent things:
Below Par u miericu pietusu fa la piaga verminusa (Calabrian, Italy)
the physician with too much pity will cause the wound to fester Ouch!
The exclamation denoting pain has many varieties. If you touch a boiling kettle in Korea you cry
aiya, in the Philippines aruy and in France aïe.
In Russian you scream oj, in Danish uh and in German aua.
Atishoo!
In Japan one sneeze signi
es praise ( ichi home); two sneezes, criticism (ni-kusashi); three sneezes, disparagement ( san-kenashi),
while four or more sneezes are taken to mean, quite reasonably, that a cold is on its way ( yottsu-ijo wa kaze no moto). Meanwhile, in Mexico, one sneeze is answered with the word salud (health); two sneezes with dinero (money); three sneezes with amor (love); four or more sneezes
with alergías (allergies); laughter often accompanies four sneezes, because health, money and love are obviously more desirable than allergies.
Bless you!
In response to someone sneezing, the Germans say
Gesundheit, ‘health to you’, and the French à tes souhaits , literally, ‘to your wishes’. In Sierre
Leone, Mende speakers say biseh, or ‘thank you’; in Malagasy, the language of Madagascar, they say velona, ‘alive’, while the Bembe speakers of the Congo say kuma, ‘be well’. In Tonga a sneeze is often taken to be a sign that your loved one is missing you.
Sneezing protocol
In Brazil, they say
saúde (health) and the sneezer answers amen. In Arabic, the sneezer says alhumdullilah (‘praise be to God’) rst, to which the
other person responds yarhamukumu Allah (‘may God have mercy on you’). The sneezer then replies to that with athabakumu Allah (‘may God
reward you’). In Iran, things are more complex. There they say a yat bashe (‘I wish you good health’) and the sneezer replies elahi shokr (‘thank God for my health’). After the rst sneeze Iranians are then supposed to stop whatever they were doing for a few minutes before continuing. If
the sneeze interrupts a decision it is taken as an indication not to go ahead. Ignoring the single sneeze means risking bad luck. However, a second sneeze clears the slate.
Falling ill
The miseries of the sick bed are universally known: smertensleje (Danish) to toss and turn on your bed in pain
smertensleje (Danish) to toss and turn on your bed in pain fanbing (Chinese) to have an attack of one’s old illness
ruttlin (Cornish) the sound of phlegm rattling in the bronchial tubes
miryachit (Russian) a disease in which the su erer mimics everything that is said or done by another
False friends gem (Mongolian) defect
lavman (Turkish) enema angel (Dutch) sting
bad (Arabic) amputation bladder (Dutch) blister
santa (Egyptian Arabic) wart
turd (Persian) delicate or fragile
Bedside manner
Illness demands sympathy, but the Indonesian word
besuk suggests that this is not always forthcoming. It means to refuse to visit a sick person.
Possibly with good reason: bawwal (Persian) one who pisses in bed
osurgan (Turkish) someone who farts a lot dobol (Indonesian) to have a swollen anus
ra’ora’oa (Cook Islands Maori) to have swollen testicles kepuyuh (Indonesian) to have to urinate
jerrkjerrk (Wagiman, Australia) diarrhoea chiasse (French) runs induced by fear
Impatient?
Perhaps the most telling word in the lexicon of sickness is the Chinese word
huiji-jiyi – to avoid following your doctor’s advice for fear of being
recognized as the su erer of a disease.
On re ection
Vowelless
The Tashlhiyt dialect of Berber (North Africa) is known for its vowelless words:
tzgr, she crossed, and rglx, I locked. Among the longest
are tkkststt, you took it o , and tftktstt, you sprained it. And if we accept ‘r’ as a consonant (which is debatable in Czech, as ‘l’ and ‘r’
function as sonorants and so ful l the role of a vowel) then words consisting entirely of consonants are common in their language: krk,
neck; prst, nger or toe; smrk, pine tree; smrt, death. Words beginning with ve consonants are not unknown: ctvrt, quarter and ctvrtek, Thursday. Likewise in Croatian/Bosnian/Serbian there are: crkva, church; mrkva, carrot; trg, market and zrtva, vinegar.
From Cradle to Grave xian zhang de meimao, bi bu shang hou zhang de huzi (Chinese)
the eyebrows that started growing rst can’t compare with the beard that started growing later In the family way
Pregnancy can be something of a mixed blessing: mirkha (Quechuan, Peru) the freckles or spots on a woman’s face during pregnancy waham (Arabic) the craving for certain foods during pregnancy
tafarrus (Persian) the fainting of a pregnant woman
Birth pains
W hen it comes to childbirth, English tends to be coy. There is no English equivalent for the Inuit word
paggiq, which describes the esh torn as
a woman delivers a baby, nor for the Japanese chigobami – bites in icted on a mother’s nipple by a suckling baby. As for the less painful aspects of giving birth, we lack the Indonesian word uek, the sound of a baby crying when being born, the very precise U lwa word from
Nicaragua, asahnaka, to hold a child on one’s hip with its legs straddling the hipbone facing the mother’s side, let alone the Persian term kundamoya, which is the hair a child is born with.
kundamoya, which is the hair a child is born with.
Birthing partner
The Inuit have a word
tunumiaq which denotes the person who supports a pregnant woman’s back during labour.
First steps in the deep Paci c
In Rapa Nui (Easter Island) there are
ve detailed words to describe a baby’s early progress: kaukau is a newborn baby rst moving its hands
and feet; puepue is when it begins to distinguish people and objects; tahuri is when it starts to move from side to side; totoro is when it’s learned to crawl; mahaga is when it is able to stand by itself.
Toddling
English is strangely de
cient when it comes to observing the many stages of development:
teete (Zarma, Nigeria) to teach a toddler how to walk
menetah (Indonesian) to help a little child walk by holding its hands to keep it in balance pokankuni (Tulu, India) to learn by looking at others
keke (Hawaiian) a word of caution to children to cover their nakedness
Growing pains
The next few years are crucial: polekayi (Tulu, India) writing in a large crooked hand as children tend to do qiangda (Chinese) a race to be the rst to answer a question
nylentik (Indonesian) to hit a child’s ear with the index nger
paski (Tulu, India) punishing a boy by making him alternate between standing and sitting with his arms crossed and both ears seized by his ngers
zhangjin (Chinese) the progress made in one’s intellectual or moral education
Polterabend (German) a stag party for both sexes at which crockery is broken celebrating the end of their single lives
ronin (Japanese) a student who has failed a university entrance examination and is waiting to retake it (adapted from its original sense of a lordless wandering samurai warrior)
Boys and girls
Some cultures go further than merely di
erentiating between children and adolescents. The Indonesian word balita refers to those under ve
years old; the Hindi term kumari means a girl between ten and twelve, while bala is a young woman under the age of sixteen. The Cook Islands Maoris continue the sequence with mapu, a youth from about sixteen to twenty- ve.
False friends compromisso (Portuguese) engagement embarazada (Spanish) pregnant anus (Latin) old woman
chin (Persian) one who catches money thrown at weddings moon (Khakas, Siberia) to hang oneself bath (Scottish Gaelic) to drown
hoho (Hausa, Nigeria) condolences
Mid-life crisis
Before we know it, the carefree days of our youth are just fading memories: sanada arba’ (Arabic) to be pushing forty
parebos (Ancient Greek) being past one’s prime
kahala (Arabic) to be an old fogey at the height of one’s life
Torschlusspanik (German) the fear of diminishing opportunities as one gets older (literally, gate-closing panic); this word is often applied to women worried about being too old to have children
Getting older Hawaiian-style
The Hawaiians have a highly speci
c vocabulary to describe the e ects of what the Germans call Lebensabend, the twilight of life:
’aua a woman beginning to become wrinkled ku’olo an old man with sagging cheeks
kani ko’o an aged man who needs to carry a cane
kani mo’opuna the state of old age when one has many grandchildren hakalunu extreme old age, as when one is no longer able to walk ka’i koko bedridden; so old one needs to be carried in a net pala lau hala the advanced loss of hair; the last stage of life
Kicking the bucket
Other languages have highly inventive euphemisms for the tricky subject of passing on: nolikt karoti (Latvian) to put down the spoon
colgar los guantes (Spanish, Central America) to hang up the gloves het hoek omgaan (Dutch) to go around the corner
bater a bota/esticar a perna (Portuguese) to hit the boot or to stretch the leg avaler son bulletin de naissance (French) to swallow one’s birth certi cate
The nal reckoning adjal (Indonesian) the predestined hour of one’s death
Liebestod (German) dying for love or because of a romantic tragedy
pagezuar (Albanian) the state of dying before enjoying the happiness that comes with being married or seeing one’s children married
Chinese whispers
Chinese has a rich vocabulary when it comes to the last moments of life: huiguang fanzhao the momentary recovery of someone who is dying yiyan a person’s last words
yiyuan a person’s last or unful lled wish
mingmu to die with one’s eyes closed, to die without regret
txiv xaiv a funeral singer whose songs bring helpful, didactic messages from the dead person to the survivors
Last rites
In the end the inevitable takes its course:
talkin (Indonesian) to whisper to the dying (i.e. words read at the end of a funeral to remind the dead person of what to say to the angels of death)
farjam-gah (Persian) the nal home (grave)
tunillattukkuuq (Inuit) the act of eating at a cemetery
akika (Swahili) a domestic feast held either for a child’s rst haircut or for its burial
On re ection
The long of it
Among languages that build up very long words for both simple and complex concepts are those de
ned as ‘polysynthetic’, and many of
them are found in Australia or Papua New Guinea. The Aboriginal Mayali tongue of Western Arnhem Land is an example, forming highly complex verbs able to express a complete sentence, such as: ngabanmarneyawoyhwarrgahganjginjeng, meaning ‘I cooked the wrong meat
for them again’. (This breaks down into nga: I, ban: them, marne: for, yawoyh: again, warrgah: wrongly directed action, ganj: meat, ginje: cook, ng: past tense.) In the Australian language known as Western Desert, palyamunurringkutjamunurtu means ‘he or she de nitely did not become bad’.
Germans are not the only ones who like to create complex compound words as nouns. Arbejdsløshedsunderstøttelse is Danish for
unemployment bene t, while tilpasningsvanskeligheder means ‘adjustment di culties’. Precipitevolissimevolmente is Italian for ‘as fast as possible’. And in the Tupi-Guarani Apiaká language of Brazil, tapa-há-ho-huegeuvá means rubber.
But maybe the laurels should go to the Ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes who devised the word lopado-temacho-selacho-galeo-
kranio-leipsano-drim-hu-potrimmato-silphio-karabo-melito-katakechumeno-kichl-epikossuphophatto-perister-alektruon-opto-kephalliokigklo-peleio-lagoio-siraio-baphe-tragano-pterugon, a dish compounded of all kinds of dainties, sh, fowl and sauces.
Otherworldly zig then ma che; dam choe ma ha (Dzongkha, Bhutan)
do not start your worldly life too late; do not start your religious life too early Beyond the veil
So what lies beyond the beauties of life, in sight, sound and smell? Do we live for ever? And if so, can any of us ever return? iwang wayaka (U lwa, Nicaragua) a spirit that comes out after a person dies, makes noises and yet is never seen tarniqsuqtuq (Inuit) a communication with a spirit that is unable to ascend raskh (Persian) the transmigration of the human soul into a plant or tree
hrendi thenok (Sherpa, Nepal) to get in touch with the soul of a dead person
bodach (Scottish Gaelic) the ghost of an old man that comes down the chimney to terrorize children who have been naughty
Spooked in Sumatra
The Indonesians have a particularly varied vocabulary to describe the inhabitants of the spirit world and their attempts to menace the living: wewe an ugly female ghost with drooping breasts
keblak a ghost cockerel which frightens people at night with the sound of its apping wings
kuntilanak a ghost masquerading as a beautiful woman to seduce men who are then horri ed to nd that she actually has a large hole in her back
Looking into the future
A cynical old Chinese proverb o
ers the thought ruo xin bu , maile wu; mai gua kou , mei liang dou : ‘if you believe in divination you will end
up selling your house to pay the diviners’. But attempting to see into the future has been a constant in all societies for thousands of years: aayyaf (Arabic) predicting the future by observing the ight of birds
ustukhwan-tarashi (Persian) divination using the shoulder-blade of a sheep
haruspex (Latin) a priest who practised divination by examining the entrails of animals kilo lani (Hawaiian) an augury who can read the clouds
sortes (Latin) the seeking of guidance by the chance selection of a passage in a book mandal (Arabic) prophesying while staring into a mirror-like surface
Hide away
Scottish Highlanders formerly had an unusual way of divining the future, known as
taghairm. This involved wrapping a man in the hide of a
freshly butchered bullock and leaving him alone by a waterfall, under a cli -face, or in some other wild and deserted place. Here he would think about his problem; and whatever answer he came up with was supposed to have been given to him by the spirits who dwelt in such forbidding spots.
False friends monaco (Italian) monk
sh (Arabic) Easter, Passover
alone (Italian) halo fall (Breton) bad
lav (Armenian) good bog (Russian) god
God willing
The French have a term, bondieuserie, which means ostentatious piety. But for many the solace of prayer and faith is both necessary and private:
saruz-ram (Persian) the rst light breaking upon one committed to a contemplative life
rasf (Persian) the joining together of the feet in prayer (also the joining of stones in pavements)
thondrol (Dzongkha, Bhutan) the removal of sins through the contemplation of a large religious picture kuoha (Hawaiian) a prayer used to bring a wife to love her husband and a husband to love his wife tekbir (Arabic) to proclaim the greatness of God, by repeating allahu akkbar , ‘Allah is great’
pasrah (Indonesian) to leave a problem to God
On re ection
The short of it
Among single letter words to be found among the world’s languages are the following: u (Samoan) an enlarged land snail
u (Xeta, Brazil) to eat animal meat
u (Burmese) a male over forty- ve (literally, uncle) i (Korean) a tooth
m (Yakut, Siberia) a bear; an ancestral spirit
All Creatures Great and Small meglio è esser capo di lucertola che coda di dragone (Italian) better be the head of a lizard than the tail of a dragon
Animal crackers
‘Every dog has his day’; ‘you can take a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink’; ‘a cat may look at a king’. Animals crop up left, right and centre in English sayings and phrases, and in those of other languages too: leben wie die Made im Speck (German) to live like a maggot in bacon (life of Riley)
van een kale kip kan je geen veren plukken (Dutch) you can’t pluck feathers from a bald hen (get blood out of a stone) olla ketunhäntä kainalossa (Finnish) to have a foxtail under your armpits (ulterior motives)
estar durmiendo con la mona (Spanish) to be sleeping with the monkey (be drunk) eine Kröte schlucken (German) to swallow a toad (make a concession grudgingly)
bhains ke age bansuri bajana (Hindi) to play a ute in front of a bu alo (cast pearls before swine) vot gde sobaka zaryta (Russian) that’s where the dog is buried (the crux of the matter) avaler des couleuvres (French) to swallow grass snakes (endure humiliation) karincalanmak (Turkish) to be crawling with ants (have pins and needles)
Dragon’s head
The Japanese are particularly fond of animal metaphors: itachigokko weasels’ play (a vicious circle) gyuho an ox’s walk (a snail’s pace)
neko no hitai a cat’s forehead (a very small area)
yabuhebi ni naru to poke at a bush and get a snake (to back re)
ryuto dabi ni owaru to start with a dragon’s head and end with a snake’s tail (to peter out) dasoku snake legs (excessive or super uous)
tora ni naru to become a tiger (to get roaring drunk) unagi no nedoko an eel’s bed (a long narrow place)
mushi no idokoro ga warui the location of the worm is bad (in a bad mood) kirinji a gira e child (prodigy)
kumo no ko o chirasu yo ni like scattering baby spiders (in all directions) inu to saru a dog and a monkey (to be on bad terms)
Ships of the desert
As you might expect, the more important an animal is to a particular culture, the more words there are for it. The cattle-herding Masai of Kenya
and Tanzania, for example, have seventeen distinct words for cattle; the jungle-based Baniwa tribe of Brazil has twenty-nine for ant (with a range that includes the edible); while in Somali there are no fewer than forty-three words relating to camels of every possible variety. Here are a few: qoorqab an uncastrated male camel
awradhale a stud camel that always breeds male camels
gurgurshaa a docile pack-camel suitable for carrying delicate items sidig one of two female camels suckling the same baby camel
guran a herd of camels no longer producing milk that is kept away from dwelling areas baatir a mature female camel that has had no o spring
gulguuluc the low bellow of a camel when it is sick or thirsty cayuun camel spit
u maqaarsaar to put the skin of a dead baby camel on top of a living one in order to induce its mother to give milk uusmiiro to extract drinking water from the stomach of a camel to drink during a period of drought guree to make room for a person to sit on a loaded camel tulud one’s one and only camel
Persian also has its own detailed camel vocabulary that suggests an even more recalcitrant beast: nakhur a camel that will not give milk until her nostrils are tickled wakhd a camel that throws out its feet in the manner of an ostrich
munqamih a camel that raises its head and refuses to drink any more
zirad a rope tied round a camel’s neck to prevent it from vomiting on its rider
Horses for courses
Many languages have very speci
c words to describe not only types of horse but also its activities and attributes. In the Quechuan language of
Peru, tharmiy is a horse that stands on its hind legs and kicks out with its forelegs. The Bulgar
lungur is an un t horse, while the Malay kuda
padi is a short-legged horse for riding. Dasparan, from the Khowan language of Pakistan, describes the mating of horses and the Russian nochoe means the pasturing of horses for the night. Persian has an extravagance of equine vocabulary: zaru a horse that travels nimbly with long steps
mirjam a horse that makes the dirt y when running
raji a horse returning tired from a journey only to be immediately dispatched upon another rakl to strike a horse with the heel to make it gallop zau’ shaking the horse’s rein to quicken the pace
shiyar riding a horse backwards and forwards to show it o to a buyer
sa n a horse standing on three legs and touching the ground with the tip of its fourth hoof
Man’s best friend
The Indians of Guatemala have a word,
nagual, which describes an animal, chosen at birth, whose fate is believed to have a direct e ect on the
prosperity of its owner.
Hopping mad
The Kunwinjku of Australia use a range of words to describe the way in which kangaroos hop; in part this is because, from a distance, the easiest way to identify a particular type of kangaroo is by the way it moves. Thus kanjedjme is the hopping of a wallaroo, kamawudme is the
hopping of a male Antilopine wallaroo, and kadjalwahme is the hopping of the female. Kamurlbardme is the hopping of a black wallaroo and kalurlhlurlme is the hopping of an agile wallaby.
False friends
ape (Italian) bee
anz (Arabic) wasp bum (Arabic) owl
medusa (Spanish) jelly sh
slurp (Afrikaans) elephant’s trunk ukelele (Tongan) jumping ea
Shoo!
The Latin American
sape, the German husch and the Pashto (of Afghanistan and Pakistan) tsheghe tsheghe are among the many similar-sounding
words that mean ‘shoo’. Other animal commands refer to particular creatures: Pashto pishte pishte is said when chasing cats away; gja gja is the
Bulgar driving call to horses; kur is the Indonesian call to chickens to come to be fed; and belekisi ontu (Aukan, Suriname) is an insult hurled at a dog. The Malays are even more speci c, with song, the command to an elephant to lift one leg, and soh, the cry to a bu alo to turn left.
Peacocks’ tails
Many languages identify speci
c parts or attributes of animals for which there is no direct English equivalent.
Kauhaga moa is the word used by
Easter Islanders to designate the rst and shortest claw of a chicken, while candraka in Tulu (India) is the eye pattern that appears on the
feathers of a peacock’s tail and kannu is the star in the feather. In several languages there are particular words for di erent types of animal
excrement: monkey urine in the Guajá language (Brazil) is kalukaluk-kaí; the liquid part of chicken excrement in U lwa (Nicaragua) is daraba; while in Persian the little bit of sweat and dung attached to a sheep’s groin and tail is called wazahat.
Kissing and hissing
Other words describe the closely observed actions of animals, many of which we can instantly recognize: mengais (Indonesian) to scratch on the ground with claws in search of food (generally used of a chicken) apisik (Turkish) any animal holding its tail between its legs
maj u maj (Persian) kissing and licking (as a cat does to her kittens) greann (Scottish Gaelic) the hair bristling as on an enraged dog fahha (Arabic) the hissing of a snake
tau’ani (Cook Islands Maori) to squeal at one another while ghting (used of cats) kikamu (Hawaiian) the gathering of sh about a hook that they hesitate to bite alevandring (Danish) the migration of the eel
paarnguliaq (Inuit) a seal that has strayed and now can’t nd its breathing hole
Two Persian tricks
Tuti’i pas ayina
is a person sitting behind a mirror who teaches a parrot to talk by making it believe that it is its own likeness seen in the
mirror which is pronouncing the words. While kalb is the practice of imitating barking to induce dogs to respond and thus show whether a particular dwelling is inhabited or not.
Animal magnetism
Some animal words attract other meanings as well. Hausa of Nigeria uses
mesa to mean both python and water hose, and jak both donkey and
wheelbarrow. Wukur in Arabic signi es a bird of prey’s nest and an aircraft hangar and, intriguingly,
zamma means both to put a bridle on a
camel and to be supercilious. For the Wagiman of Australia wanganyjarri describes a green ants’ nest and an armpit, while for the French papillon is both a butter y and a parking ticket.
The ying squad
In Hopi, an Amerindian language,
masa’ytaka is used to denote insects, aeroplanes, pilots; in fact, everything that ies except birds.
Tamed
Humans have rarely been content to let animals run wild and free; using them in one way or another has de
ned the relationship between two
and four legs: ch’illpiy (Quechuan, Peru) to mark livestock by cutting their ears
bolas (Spanish) two or three heavy balls joined by a cord used to entangle the legs of animals
oorxax (Khakas, Siberia) a wooden ring in the nose of a calf (to prevent it from suckling from its mother) hundeskole (Danish) a dog-training school
Animal sounds
In Albanian, Danish, English, Hebrew and Polish, to name just a few languages, bees make a buzzing sound, and cats miaow. However, no language but English seems to think that owls go ‘tu-whit, tu-woo’ or a cockerel goes ‘cock-a-doodle-doo’. And not everyone agrees about the birds and the bees either: Birds
Arabic (Algeria): twit twit Bengali: cooho’koohoo Finnish: tsirp tsirp
Hungarian: csipcsirip Korean: ji-ji-bae-bae
Norwegian: kvirrevitt or pip-pip Bees
Afrikaans: zoem-zoem Bengali: bhonbhon
Estonian: summ-summ Japanese: bunbun
Korean: boong-boong or wing-wing Cats
Indonesian: ngeong Malay: ngiau
Nahuatl (Mexico): tlatzomia Chicks
Albanian: ciu ciu Greek: ko-ko-ko
Hungarian: csip-csip Indonesian: cip cip
Quechuan (Peru): tojtoqeyay
Quechuan (Peru): tojtoqeyay Slovene: čiv-čiv Thai: jiap jiap
Turkish: cik cik Cockerels
Chinese: gou gou French: cocorico
Italian: chicchirichí
Portuguese: cocorococo Thai: ake-e-ake-ake Cows
Bengali: hamba Dutch: boeh
Hungarian: bú
Korean: um-muuuu
Nahuatl (Mexico): choka Crows
French: croa-croa
Indonesian: gagak
Korean: kka-ak-kka-ak
Spanish: cruaaac, cruaaac Swedish: krax Thai: gaa gaa
Turkish: gaaak, gaak Cuckoos
Japanese: kakkou kakkou
Korean: ppu-kkook-ppu-kkook Turkish: guguk, guguk Elephants
Finnish: trööt or prööt
Spanish (Chile): prraaahhh, prrraaaahhh Thai: pran pran Frogs
Afrikaans: kwaak-kwaak Estonian: krooks-krooks
Munduruku (Brazil): korekorekore Spanish (Argentina): berp Goats
Nahuatl (Mexico): choka Norwegian: mae
Quechuan (Peru): jap’apeyay Russian: mee
U krainian: me-me Hens
Turkish: gut-gut-gudak
Arabic (Algeria): cout cout cout
Rapa Nui (Easter Island): kókokóko
Owls
Korean: buung-buung Norwegian: uhu Russian: ukh
Swedish: hoho
Thai: hook hook Pigs
Albanian: hunk hunk
Hungarian: röf-röf-röf
Japanese: buubuu, boo boo boo Dutch: knor-knor Sheep
Mandarin Chinese: mieh mieh Portuguese: meee meee Slovene: bee-bee
Vietnamese: be-hehehe French: bêê (h)
On re ection
Spellcheck nightmare
If only Scrabble allowed foreign words how much greater our wordscores could be: 3 consecutive vowels: aaa (Hawaiian) a lava tube
4 consecutive vowels: jaaaarne (Estonian) the edge of the ice; kuuuurija (Estonian) a moon explorer
6 consecutive vowels: zaaiuien (Dutch) onions for seeding; ouaouaron (Quebecois French) a bullfrog 7 consecutive vowels: hääyöaie (Finnish) – counting ‘y’ as a vowel – a plan for the wedding night
8 consecutive vowels: hooiaioia (Hawaiian) certi ed; oueaiaaare (Estonian) the edge of a fence surrounding a yard 5 consecutive consonants (and no vowels): cmrlj (Slovenian) a bumblebee
7 consecutive consonants: razzvrkljati (Slovenian) preparing the egg for baking, or making omelettes; opskrbljivač (Croatian) a supplier; ctvrtkruh (Czech) a quadrant
8 consecutive consonants: angstschreeuw (Dutch) a cry of fear; varldsschlager (Swedish) a worldwide music hit; gvbrdgvnit (Georgian) you tear us into pieces
11 consecutive consonants: odctvrtvrstvit (Czech) to remove a quarter of a layer
Whatever the Weather chuntian hai’er lian, yi tian bian san bian (Chinese)
spring weather is like a child’s face, changing three times a day And the forecast is …
Despite our obsession with the weather, the English language doesn’t cover all the bases when it comes to precise observations of the natural world … serein (French) ne rain falling from a cloudless sky
imbat (Turkish) a daytime summer sea breeze ‘ inapoiri (Cook Islands Maori) a moonless night wamadat (Persian) the intense heat of a still, sultry night gumusservi (Turkish) moonlight shining on water
tojji (Tulu, India) the scum of water collected into bubbles efterarsfarver (Danish) autumn colours
… though, inevitably, there are some local phenomena that we have to struggle harder to imagine:
wilikoi (Hawaiian) substances that are gathered up in the centre of a whirlwind
isblink (Swedish) the luminous appearance of the horizon caused by re ection from ice
Meteorological metaphors
Our descriptions of the weather often use metaphors, such as raining cats and dogs, but some languages use the weather itself as the metaphor: Schnee von gestern (German) yesterday’s snow (water under the bridge)
huutaa tuuleen (Finnish) to shout to the wind (to do something that has no use) aven solen har äckar (Swedish) even the sun has got spots (no one is perfect)
snést někomu modré z nebe (Czech) to bring the blue down from the sky for someone (do anything to please them)
chap phar kah chap jil pa chu kha ray (Dzongkha, Bhutan) the rain falls yonder, but the drops strike here (indirect remarks hit the target) xihuitl barq (Arabic) lightning without a downpour (a disappointment, a disillusionment or an unkept promise)
Those words for snow
The number of di
erent Inuit words for snow has been the subject of endless debate, few people taking into account the fact that the now-
o ensive group name ‘Eskimo’ (from the French Esquimaux, derived from North American Algonquian and literally meaning ‘eaters of raw esh’) covers a number of di erent language areas: Inuit in Greenland and Canada, Yupik in Eastern Siberia and Aleut in Alaska. Here is a selection of words for snow from some Inuit languages:
snow, kaniktshaq; no snow, aputaitok; to snow, qanir, qanunge, qanugglir; snowy weather, nittaatsuq, qannirsuq; to get ne snow or rain
particles, kanevcir; rst falling, apingaut; light falling, qannialaag; wet and falling, natatgo naq; in the air, falling, qaniit; feathery clumps of falling snow, qanipalaat; air thick with snow, nittaalaq; rippled surface of snow, kaiyuglak; light, deep enough for walking, katik-sugnik; fresh without any ice, kanut; crusty, sillik; soft for travelling, mauyasiorpok; soft and deep where snowshoes are needed for travel, taiga; powder, nutagak; salty, pokaktok; wind-beaten, upsik; fresh, nutaryuk; packed, aniu; sharp, panar; crusty that breaks under foot,
karakartanaq; rotten, slush on sea, qinuq; best for building an igloo, pukaan-gajuq; glazed in a thaw, kiksrukak; watery, mangokpok; rm (the easiest to cut, the warmest, the preferred), pukajaw; loose, newly fallen which cannot be used as it is, but can provide good building
material when compacted, ariloqaq; for melting into water, aniuk; that a dog eats, aniusarpok; that can be broken through, mauya; oating
on water, qanisqineq; for building, auverk; on clothes, ayak; beaten from clothes, tiluktorpok; much on clothes, aputainnarowok; crust, pukak; cornice, formation about to collapse, navcaq; on the boughs of trees, qali; blown indoors, sullarniq; snowdrift overhead and about to fall,
mavsa; snowdrift that blocks something, kimaugruk; smoky drifting snow, siqoq; arrow-shaped snowdrift, kaluto-ganiq; newly drifting snow, akelrorak; space between drifts and obstruction, anamana, anymanya; snowstorm, pirsuq, pirsirsursuaq, qux; violent snowstorm, igadug; blizzard, pirta, pirtuk; avalanche, sisuuk, aput sisurtuq ; to get caught in an avalanche, navcite.
There are also a large number of Inuit words for ice, covering everything from icicles through ‘solidly frozen slush’ to ‘open pack ice in seawater’.
False friends air (Indonesian) water, liquid, juice blubber (Dutch) mud shit (Persian) dust
nap (Hungarian) sun
sky (Norwegian) cloud pi (Korean) rain
Highland mist
Either there is more weather in the cold, wet places of the world or people have more time to think about and de
ne it. The Scots may not have
as many words for snow as the Inuits, but they have a rich vocabulary for their generally cool and damp climate.
Dreich is their highly evocative word for a miserably wet day. Gentle rain or smirr might be falling, either in a dribble (drizzle) or in a dreep
(steady but light rainfall). Plowtery (showery) weather may shift to a gandiegow (squall), a pish-oot (complete downpour), or a thunder-plump (sudden rainstorm accompanied by thunder and lightning). Any of these is likely to make the average walker feel dowie (downhearted) as they push on through the slaister (liquid bog) and glaur (mire), even if they’re not yet drookit (soaked to the skin). The track in front of them will probably be covered with dubs (puddles), as the neighbouring burn (stream) grows into a fast- owing linn (torrent).
The very next day the weather may be di erent again, and the walker beset by blenter (gusty wind). Or if it’s grulie (unsettled), there’s always
the hope that it might turn out leesome (fair) with a lovely pirl (soft breeze). And then, after the next plype (sudden heavy shower), there may
even be a watergow (faint rainbow). In deepest winter it will generally be snell (piercingly cold), and sometimes fair jeelit (icily so) among the wreaths (drifts) of snow.
For a precious few fair days in summer, there may even be a simmer cowt (heat haze), though the more austere will be relieved that the
likelihood of discomfort remains high on account of the erce-biting mudges (midges).
On re ection
My underground oven
Riddles are found the world over. Here are some intriguing ones from Hawaii: 1 ku’u punawai kau i ka lewa my spring of water high up in the clouds
2 ku’u wahi pu ko’ula i ka moana my bundle of red sugarcane in the ocean
3 ku’u wahi hale, ‘ewalu o’a, ho’okahi pou my house with eight rafters and one post 4 ku’u imu kalua loa a lo’ik’i my long underground oven
Answers 1 niu a coconut
2 anuenue a rainbow
3 mamula an umbrella 4 he the grave
Hearing Things quien quiere ruido, compre un cochino (Spanish) he that loves noise must buy a pig
Sound bites
The sounds of most of the words we use have little to do with their meanings. But there are exceptions in other languages, too. For best results try saying the words out loud: ata-ata (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) to laugh ba’a (Hausa, Nigeria) ridicule, mockery baqbaq (Arabic) garrulous
bulubushile (Bemba, Congo and Zambia) a stammer or lisp capcap (Maltese) to clap
chopchop (Chamorro, Guam, U SA) to suck cizir cizir (Turkish) with a sizzling noise
karkara (Arabic) to rumble (of a stomach) kekek-kekek (Malay) to giggle
kitikiti (Tulu, India) the ticking of a watch; or giggling, tittering
pes pes (Pashto, Afghanistan and Pakistan) whispering pshurr (Albanian) to urinate, to wet one’s clothes raxxax (Maltese) to drizzle
ringongo (Gilbertese, Kiribati) to snore taptap (Maltese) to patter
yuyurungul (Yindiny, Australia) the noise of a snake sliding through the grass xiaoxiao (Chinese) the whistling and pattering of rain or wind zonk zonk (Turkish) to throb terribly
Making a splash
L ocal experience shapes local language. The Tulu people of India, for example, have a
ne array of evocative, speci c words to do with water:
gulum describes a stone falling into a well; gulugulu is lling a pitcher with water; caracara is spurting water from a pump; budubudu is
bubbling, gushing water; jalabala is bubbling or boiling water; salasala is pouring water; while calacala describes the action of children wading through water as they play.
Ding dong
The sound of an altogether noisier culture can be heard in Indonesian:
kring is the sound of a bicycle bell; dentang, cans being hit repeatedly;
reat-reot, the squeaking of a door; ning-nong, the ringing of a doorbell; jedar-jedor, a door banging repeatedly. But there are gentler moments,
too: kecipak-kecipung is hands splashing water in a rhythm, while desus is a quiet and smooth sound as of someone farting but not very loudly.
Chirping cuckoos
The Basques of the Pyrenees also use highly expressive words. You might recognize such terms as
kuku (a cuckoo), miau (miaou), mu (moo),
durrunda (thunder), zurrumurru (a whisper) and urtzintz (to sneeze), but could you guess the meaning of these? thu
to spit
milikatu
to lick
tchiuka
to chirp
chichtu
to whistle
uhurritu
to howl
chehatu
to chew
karruskatu
to gnaw
False friends rang (Chinese) to yell, shout
boo (Latin) to cry out, resound
hum (Ainu, Japan) sound, feeling rumore (Italian) noise bum (Turkish) bang
Sounds Japanese
The Japanese can be equally imitative: shikushiku is to cry continuously while sni
ing, and zeizei is the sound of air being forced through the
windpipe when one has a cold or respiratory illness. We can hear perhaps a gathering of Japanese women in kusukusu, to giggle or titter,
especially in a suppressed voice; and of men in geragera, a belly laugh. Moving from the literal to the more imaginative, the Japanese have sa, the sound of a machine with the switch on, idling quietly; sooay sooay, sh swimming; susu, the sound of air passing continuously through a small opening.
Gitaigo describes a more particular Japanese concept: words that try to imitate not just sounds, but states of feeling. So
gatcha gatcha describes
an annoying noise; harahara refers to one’s reaction to something one is directly involved in; and ichaicha is used of a couple engaging in a public display of a ection viewed as unsavoury by passers-by. Mimicry of feelings extends to descriptions of the way we see: so jirojiro is to
stare in fascination; tekateka is the shiny appearance of a smooth (often cheap-looking) surface; pichapicha is splashing water; and kirakira is a small light that blinks repeatedly.
Sounds familiar
Not all words about sound are imitative; or perhaps it’s just that things strike the ear di
erently in other parts of the world:
bagabaga (Tulu, India) the crackling of a re
desir (Malay) the sound of sand driven by the wind
faamiti (Samoan) to make a squeaking sound by sucking air past the lips in order to gain the attention of a dog or children riman (Arabic) the sound of a stone thrown at a boy
ghiqq (Persian) the sound made by a boiling kettle
kertek (Malay) the sound of dry leaves or twigs being trodden underfoot lushindo (Bemba, Congo and Zambia) the sound of footsteps nyangi (Yindiny, Australia) any annoying noise
yuyin (Chinese) the remnants of sound which remain in the ears of the hearer
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Top ten
In terms of numbers of speakers, the top ten world languages are as follows: 1 Mandarin 1,000+ million 2 English 508 million 3 Hindi 497 million
4 Spanish 342 million 5 Russian 277 million 6 Arabic 246 million
7 Bengali 211 million
8 Portuguese 191 million
9 Malay–Indonesian 159 million
10 French 129 million
Seeing Things cattiva è quella lana che non si puo tingere (Italian) it is a bad cloth that will take no colour
Colourful language
W e might well think that every language has a word for every colour, but this isn’t so. Nine languages distinguish only between black and white. In Dan, for example, which is spoken in New Guinea, people talk in terms of things being either mili (darkish) or mola (lightish).
Twenty-one languages have distinct words for black, red and white only; eight have those colours plus green; then the sequence in which
additional colours are brought into languages is yellow, with a further eighteen languages, then blue (with six) and nally brown (with seven).
Across the spectrum
As with colours, so with the rainbow. The Bassa language of Liberia identi
es only two colours: ziza (red/orange/yellow) and hui (green/
blue/purple) in their spectrum. The Shona of Zimbabwe describe four: cipsuka (red/orange), cicena (yellow and yellow-green), citema (greenblue) and cipsuka again (the word also represents the purple end of the spectrum). It is just Europeans and the Japanese who pick out seven colours: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.
Welsh blues
The Welsh for blue is
glas, as in the expression yng nglas y dydd , in the blue of the day (the early morning). But glas is a hard-working word.
It’s also used in the expression gorau glas (blue best), to mean to do one’s best, and, changing tack rather dramatically, it appears as glas wen
(blue smile), a smile that is insincere and mocking. In Welsh literature, glas is a colour that is somewhere between green, blue and grey; it also has poetic meanings of both youth and death.
False friends blank (German) shiny
hell (German) clear, bright, light cafe (Quechuan, Peru) brown
Thai dress code
Thais believe that if they dress in a certain colour each day it will bring them good luck. The code is: Monday, yellow (
lueang); Tuesday, pink
(chom poo); Wednesday, green ( kiaw); Thursday, orange (som); Friday, blue (nam ngem); Saturday, purple (muang); Sunday, red ( daeng). Black (dam) is not lucky for conservative people and is reserved for funerals; unless you are young, in which case it’s seen as edgy and sophisticated.
Colour-coded
W e can be green with envy, see red, or feel a bit blue. Colours have a strong symbolic force, but not everyone agrees on what they stand for: Red
makka na uso (Japanese) a deep red (outright) lie aka no tannin (Japanese) a red (total) stranger lm a luci rosse (Italian) a red (blue) lm
romanzo rosa (Italian) a pink (romantic) story
vyspat se do červena/růžova (Czech) to sleep oneself into the red (have had a good night’s sleep) Yellow
jaune d’envie (French) yellow (green) with envy
gelb vor Eifersucht werden (German) to become yellow with jealousy kiroi koi (Japanese) a yellow (particularly screeching) scream gul och blå (Swedish) yellow and blue (black and blue) Black
svartsjuk (Swedish) black ill (jealousy)
hara guroi (Japanese) black stomach (wicked)
être noir (French) to be black (drunk)
mustasukkainen (Finnish) wearing black socks (jealous) White
andare in bianco (Italian) to go into the white (to have no success with someone romantically) ak akce kara gun icindir (Turkish) white money for a black day (savings for a rainy day) un mariage blanc (French) a white marriage (a marriage of convenience)
obléci bílý kabát (archaic Czech) to put on the white coat (to join the army) Blue
aoiki toiki (Japanese) sighing with blue breath (su ering) blau sein (German) to be blue (drunk)
en être bleu (French) to be in the blue (struck dumb) aoku naru (Japanese) blue with fright
blått öga (Swedish) blue eye (black eye)
modré pond lí (Czech) blue Monday (a Monday taken as holiday after the weekend) Green
al verde (Italian) in the green (short of cash)
vara pa gron kvist (Swedish) as rich as green (wealthy) langue verte (French) green language (slang)
darse un verde (Spanish) to give oneself greens (to tuck into one’s food)
darse un verde (Spanish) to give oneself greens (to tuck into one’s food)
aotagai (Japanese) to buy green rice elds (to employ college students prematurely)
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Polyglossary
Two countries, Papua New Guinea with over 850 languages and Indonesia with around 670, are home to a quarter of the world’s languages. If we add the seven countries that each possess more than two hundred languages (Nigeria 410, India 380, Cameroon 270, Australia 250, Mexico 240, Zaire 210, Brazil 210), the total comes to almost 3,500; which is to say that more than half of the world’s spoken languages come from just nine countries.
If we look at it in terms of continents, North, Central and South America have around one thousand spoken languages, which is about
15 per cent; Africa has around 30 per cent; Asia a bit over 30 per cent; and the Paci c somewhat under 20 per cent. Europe is by far the least diverse, having only 3 per cent of the world’s languages.
Number Crunching c’est la goutte d’eau qui fait déborder le vase (French) it’s the drop of water that makes the vase over ow
Countdown
You might expect words to get longer as numbers get bigger, so perhaps it’s a surprise to
nd that in some languages the words for single digits
are a real mouthful. In the Ona-Shelknam language of the Andes, for example, eight is ningayuneng aRvinelegh . And in Athabaskan Koyukon (an Alaskan language) you need to get right through neelk’etoak’eek’eelek’eebedee’oane to register the number seven.
Vital statistics
The world’s vocabulary of numbers moves from the precise … parab (Assyrian, Middle East) ve-sixths halvfemte (Danish) four and a half
lakh (Hindustani) one hundred thousand … to the vague: tobaiti (Machiguengan, Peru) any quantity above four
mpusho (Bemba, Congo and Zambia) any unit greater than the number ten birkacinci (Turkish) umpteen
Counting in old China
From the very biggest to the very smallest, the Ancient Chinese were highly speci tsai 100 trillion
cheng 10 trillion chien a trillion
kou 100 billion jang 10 billion
pu / tzu a billion kai 100 million
ching 10 million right down to: ch’ien one tenth
fen one hundredth li one thousandth
hao one ten-thousandth
ssu one hundred-thousandth hu one millionth
wei one ten-millionth
c in their delineation of numbers, from:
wei one ten-millionth
hsien one hundred-millionth sha one billionth
ch’en one ten-billionth
Double-digit growth
Counting in multiples of ten probably came from people totting up items on their outspread
ngers and thumbs. Some cultures, however, have
approached matters rather di erently. The Ancient Greeks rounded things o to sixty (for their low numbers) and 360 (for their high numbers) and speakers of old Germanic used to say 120 to mean many. The Yuki of Northern California counted in multiples of eight (being the space
between their two sets of ngers) and rounded o high numbers at sixty-four. Some Indian tribes in California based their multiples on ve and ten; others liked four as it expressed North, South, East and West; others six because it added to those directions the worlds above and below ground.
Magic numbers
Di
erent cultures give di erent signi cance to di erent numbers. Western traditions o er the ve senses and the seven sins, among other
groupings. Elsewhere we nd very di erent combinations. The following list is drawn from the Tulu language of India unless otherwise stated: Three
tribhuvara the three worlds: heaven, earth and hell
trivarga the three human objects: love, duty and wealth Four
nalvarti the four seasons Five
pancabhuta the ve elements: earth, air, re, water and ether
pancaloha the ve chief metals: gold, silver, copper, iron and lead pancavarna the ve colours: white, black, red, yellow and green
pancamahapataka the ve greatest sins: murdering a Brahman, stealing gold, drinking alcohol, seducing the wife of one’s spiritual mentor, and associating with a person who has committed such sins
pancavadya the ve principal musical instruments: lute, cymbals, drum, trumpet and oboe Six
liuqin (Chinese) the six relations (father, mother, elder brothers, younger brothers, wife and children) Seven
haft rang (Persian) the seven colours of the heavenly bodies: Saturn, black; Jupiter, brown; Mars, red; the Sun, yellow; Venus, white; Mercury, blue; and the Moon, green
Eight
ashtabhoga the eight sources of enjoyment: habitation, bed, clothing, jewels, wife, ower, perfumes and betel-leaf/areca nut Nine
sembako (Indonesian) the nine basic commodities that people need for everyday living: rice, our, eggs, sugar, salt, cooking oil, kerosene, dried sh and basic textiles
Ten
dah ak (Persian) the ten vices – named after the tyrant Zahhak who was notorious for ten defects of body or mind: ugliness, shortness of stature, excessive pride, indecency, gluttony, scurrility, cruelty, hastiness, falsehood and cowardice
Expressed numerically
Speci
c numbers are also used in some colloquial phrases:
mettre des queues aux zeros (French) to add tails to noughts (to overcharge) siete (Spanish, Central America) seven (a right-angled tear)
Mein Rad hat eine Acht (German) my bike has an eight (a buckled wheel)
se mettre sur son trente et un (French) to put yourself on your thirty-one (to get all dressed up)
ein Gesicht wie 7 Tage Regenwetter haben (German) to have a face like seven days of rain (a long face)
Kissing time
The adult understanding of the French number
soixante-neuf (69) is well known. Less familiar is the other meaning of quatre-vingt-huit (88) – a
kiss.
Take your time
Not everyone sees time in terms of past, present and future. The Kipsigis of the Nile region have three types of past tense: today’s past, yesterday’s past and the distant past. Several American Indian languages divide the past tense into the recent past, remote past and mythological past; other languages have di erent de nitions:
pal (Hindi) a measure of time equal to twenty-four seconds ghari (Hindi) a small space of time (twenty-four minutes) tulat (Malay) the third day hence
xun (Chinese) a period of ten days (in a month) or a decade (in someone’s life)
jam karet (Indonesian) rubber time (an indication that meetings may not necessarily start on time)
Can’t say exactly when
In Hindi, the word for yesterday,
kal, is the same as that for tomorrow (only the tense of the attached verb tells you which). And in Punjabi
parson means either the day before yesterday or the day after tomorrow.
Time of day
Around the world di
erent cultures have created highly speci c loosely clock-related vocabulary that divides up the day. The Zarma people of
Western Africa use wete to cover mid-morning (between nine and ten); the Chinese wushi is from eleven to one; and the Hausa (of Nigeria)
azahar takes in the period from one-thirty to around three. The Samoan word a a covers both late afternoon and evening, from about 5 p.m. till dark. They call the period right after sunset a a po; this is then followed after a couple of hours by po, the dead of night. Of the various expressions for dusk, perhaps the most evocative is the French entre chien et loup – literally, between the dog and the wolf.
Elevenses
Dutch (and other Germanic languages) confusingly uses
half twaalf for 11.30. While in Africa they are more long-winded for this speci c time of
day: baguo gbelleng pie ne yeni par miti lezare ne pie (Dagaari Dioula, Burkina Faso) isikhathi yisigamu emva kwehora leshumi nanye (Zulu)
isikhathi yisigamu emva kwehora leshumi nanye (Zulu)
metsotso e mashome a meraro ka mora hora ya leshome le motso e mong (Sesotho, Southern Africa)
Shouting the distance
Krosa is Sanskrit for a cry, and thus has come to mean the distance over which a man’s call can be heard, roughly two miles. In the central forests of Sri Lanka calculations of distance are also made by sound: a dog’s bark indicates a quarter of a mile; a cock’s crow something more;
and a hoo is the space over which a man can be heard when shouting the word at the highest pitch of his voice. While in the Yakut language of Siberia, kiosses represents a speci c distance calculated in terms of the time it takes to cook a piece of meat.
Tip to toe
Parts of the body have long been used to de
ne small distances – the foot in the imperial system of measuring, for example. The Zarma people
of Western Africa nd the arm much more useful: kambe kar is the length of the arm from the elbow to the tip of the middle nger and gande is the distance between two outstretched arms. Elsewhere we nd:
dos (Hmong, China) from the thumb tip to the middle- nger tip
muku (Hawaiian) from the ngers of one hand to the elbow of the opposite arm when it is extended sejengkal (Malay) the span between the tips of the stretched thumb and little nger dangkal (Kapampangan, Philippines) between thumb and fore nger
The Micmac calendar
The Mikmawisimk language of the Micmac Indians is spoken by some eight thousand people in Canada and the U SA. Their twelve months all have highly evocative names: English
Mikmawisimk
Literal translation
January
Punamujuikús
the cod are spawning
February
Apunknajit
the sun is powerful
March
Siwkewikús
maple sugar
April
Penamuikús
birds lay eggs
May
Etquljuikús
frogs are croaking
June
Nipnikús
foliage is most verdant
July
Peskewikús
birds are moulting
August
Kisikwekewikús
it’s ripening time
September
Wikumkewikús
it’s moose-calling time
October
Wikewikús
our animals are fat and tame
November
Keptekewikús
the rivers are about to freeze
December
Kiskewikús
chief moon
False friends fart (Turkish) excess or exaggeration dim (Welsh) zero
age (Hindi and U rdu, Pakistan) in the future beast (Persian) twenty
slut (Swedish) end or nish tilt (Cantonese) one-third
Caribou calendar
Similar charmingly named months make up the various Inuit calendars. January is
siqinnaarut, the month when the sun returns; February is
qangattaarjuk, referring to the sun getting higher and higher in the sky; March is avunniit, when premature baby seals are born: some make it,
some freeze to death; April is natsijjat, the proper month for seal pups to be born; May is tirigluit, when bearded seals are born; June is manniit, when the birds are laying eggs; July is saggaruut, the sound of rushing water as the rivers start to run; August is akulliruut, when the summer has come and the caribous’ thick hair has been shed; September is amiraijaut, when the caribou hair is neither too thin nor too thick but just right for making into clothing; October is ukialliruut, when the caribou antlers lose their covers; November is tusaqtuut, when the ice forms and people can travel to see other people and get news; December is taujualuk, a very dark month.
Tea time
Tea is a fundamental part of Chinese culture, so it’s no surprise to
nd that there’s an elaborate calendar relating to the growth and preparation
of it: Chinese
Literal translation
Western Calendar
Li Chun
spring starts
Yushui
the rains come
19 February
Jingzhe
insects wake up
5 March
Chunfen
spring equinox
20 March
Qingming
clear and bright
5 April
Guyu
grain rain
Lixia
summer starts
5 May
Xiaoman
grains ll out
21 May
Mangzhong
the grain is in ear
Xiazhu
summer solstice
Xiaoshu
little heat
Dashu
big heat
Liqiu
autumn starts
Chushu
limit to food
Bailu
white dew
Qiufen
autumn equinox
Hanlu
cold dew
Shuangjiang
frost descends
Lidong
winter starts
Xiaoxue
little snow
Daxue
big snow
Dongzhi
winter solstice
Xiohan
little cold
Dahan
big cold
5 February
20 April
6 June 21 June 7 July 23 July 7 August 23 August 8 September 23 September 8 October 23 October 7 November 22 November 7 December 21 December 6 January 26 January
Halcyon days
In 2002 President Saparmurat Niyazov of Turkmenistan decided to rename both the months of the year and the days of the week. Some months were to take the names of heroes of Turkmenistan’s past, but January was to become Turkmenbashi, after the president’s o cial name (‘Head of all the Turkmen’). In response to his suggestion that April should become known as ‘Mother’, one of his supporters suggested that instead it should be named after the president’s mother, Gurbansoltan-eje. The president heeded this advice.
The days of the week were also renamed: Monday became Major (main or rst) Day; Tuesday, Young Day; Wednesday, Favourable Day;
The days of the week were also renamed: Monday became Major (main or rst) Day; Tuesday, Young Day; Wednesday, Favourable Day;
Thursday, Blessed Day; Friday remained as it was; but Saturday became Spiritual Day; and Sunday, Rest Day.
Revolutionary
Turkmenistan is not the only country to consider changing the months of the year at a single stroke. In 1793 the newly established French republic abandoned the Gregorian calendar in favour of a new, ‘rational’ calendar. It lasted thirteen years, until abolished by Napoleon in 1806. Each season was divided into three months, and the name of the months in each season shared a common word ending.
Printemps (spring)
Germinal seeds sprouting
Floréal owering Prairial meadow Eté (summer)
Messidor harvest Thermidor heat Fructidor fruit
Automne (autumn)
Vendémiaire vintage Brumaire fog
Frimaire sleet Hiver (winter) Nivôse snow
Pluviôse rain
Ventôse winds These months quickly became nicknamed by the British as Showery, Flowery, Bowery, Wheaty, Heaty, Sweety, Slippy, Nippy, Drippy, Freezy, Wheezy and Sneezy.
Stages of the Hawaiian moon
The Hawaiians in earlier times named each of the thirty nights of a lunar month. The
rst night was called
hilo, to twist, because the moon was
like a twisted thread. The second was hoaka, a crescent. The third was ku-kahi, the day of a very low tide. The subsequent days described rough seas, light after moonset or days suitable for shing with a torch. On the eleventh night, huna, the sharp points of the crescent were lost. On the twelfth, mohalu, the moon began to round. This was a favoured night for planting owers; it was believed they would be round too. The
thirteenth night was hua, the egg; the fourteenth, akua, the night of the perfectly rounded moon. On the sixteenth night, mahea-lani, the moon began to wane. More named days of rough seas followed until the twenty-ninth night, mauli, meaning that the last of the moon was visible.
began to wane. More named days of rough seas followed until the twenty-ninth night, mauli, meaning that the last of the moon was visible. Muku, the thirtieth night, literally meant ‘cut o ’as the moon had disappeared.
A time for celebration njepi (Balinese, Indonesia) a national holiday during which everyone is silent
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Process of elimination
Not just words, but languages themselves change endlessly, some to the point where they go out of use altogether (on average one language a fortnight). Out of the (roughly speaking) 6,800 languages that comprise the global range, some recent victims have included Catawba (Massachusetts), Eyak (Alaska) and Livonian (Latvia). Many are from the jungles of Papua New Guinea, which still has more languages than any other country.
Others that run an imminent risk of extinction are: Abkhaz (Turkey/Georgia); Aleut (Alaska); Archi (Daghestan); British Romany;
Apurina/Monde/Purubora/Mekens/ Ayuru/Xipaya (Brazil); Brapu (Papua New Guinea); Southern Chaco/Chorote/Nivacle/Kadiweu (South America); Diyari (South Australia); Eastern Penan (Sarawak and Brunei); Gamilaraay (New South Wales); Goemai (Nigeria); Guruntum (Nigeria); Iquito (Peru); Jawoyn (Southern Arnhem Land); Jiwarli/Thalanji (Western Australia); Khumi Chin (Western
Myanmar); Sandaun (Papua New Guinea); Sasak (Eastern Indonesia); Lakota (The Plains, America); Maku (East Timor); Ngamini (South
Australia); Rongga (Flores, Indonesia); U spanteko and Sakapulteko (Guatamala); Takana and Reyesano (Bolivia); Tofa (Siberia); Tundra Nenets (Arctic Russia and Northwestern Siberia); U ranina (Peru); Vedda (Sri Lanka); Vures (Vanuatu).
What’s in a Name? ming bu zheng; yan bu shun (Chinese)
if the name is not right, the words cannot be appropriate Angry bumblebees
Most
rst names, if not derived from myth, place, ower or surnames, have a speci c meaning. Patrick, for example, means noble, from the
Latin patricius. Naomi means ‘pleasant’ in Hebrew, while the Irish Gaelic Kevin literally means ‘comely birth’. More unusual meanings of names from around the world include the following (m stands for a male name; f for female): Astell (m)
sacred cauldron of the gods (Manx)
Delisha (f)
happy and makes others happy (Arabic)
Ebru (f)
eyebrow (Turkish)
Farooq (m)
he who distinguishes truth from falsehood (Arabic)
Fenella (f)
fair shoulder (Manx)
Lama (f)
with dark lips (Arabic)
Matilda (f)
strength in battle (German)
Xicohtencatl (m)
angry bumblebee (Nahuatl, Mexico)
Xiao-Xiao (f)
morning sorrow (Chinese)
Eyes like hard porridge
A number of particularly evocative names are to be found in di
erent parts of Africa. Sometimes they refer to pregnancy or birth:
U -Zenzo (m)
things happened in the womb (Ndebele, Southern Africa)
Anindo (m)
mother slept a lot during pregnancy (Luo, Kenya)
Arogo (m)
mother nagged a lot during pregnancy (Luo, Kenya)
Ige (f)
born feet rst (Yoruba, Nigeria)
Amadi (m)
seemed destined to die at birth (Yoruba, Nigeria)
Haoniyao (m)
born at the time of a quarrel (Swahili)
… to prophecy or destiny: Amachi (f)
who knows what God has brought us through this child (Ibo, Nigeria)
U -Linda (f)
mind the village until the father’s return (Ndebele, Southern Africa)
Nnamdi (m)
my father is alive (when thought to be a reincarnation of his grandfather) (Ibo, Nigeria)
Sankofa (f)
one must return to the past in order to move forward (Akan, Ghana)
… to appearance or behaviour: Chiku (f)
chatterer (Swahili)
Masopakyindi (m)
eyes like hard porridge (Nyakyusa, Tanzania)
Masani (f)
has a gap between the front teeth (Buganda, U ganda)
… or to the parental reaction: U -Thokozile (f)
we are happy to have a child (Ndebele, Southern Africa)
Abeni (f)
we asked for her and behold we got her (Yoruba, Nigeria)
Guedado (m)
wanted by nobody (Fulani, Mali)
Anele (f)
enough (given to a last born) (Xhosa, South Africa)
Silent foreigners
Czechs describe people from outside their country in intriguing caricature. Originally all foreigners were called
N mec (from the adjective němý
meaning ‘mute’); now the suggestion that outsiders are deprived of speech applies speci cally to Germans, whose country is known as Německo. Hungary in Czech used to be U hersko, and a Hungarian U her, literally, a pimple.
The Italians, meanwhile, are called makaróni, for obvious reasons; while Australians are known as protinožcí, meaning ‘legs placed in an
opposite direction’, as they would be on the other side of the globe. Other cheerfully frank generalizations include: opilý jako Dán , to be as
drunk as a Dane; zmizet po anglicku , to disappear like an Englishman; and when the Czechs really don’t understand something, they say to pro mně španělská vesnice, it’s all a Spanish village to me.
False friends handel (Polish and Dutch) trade liszt (Hungarian) our
berlin (Wagiman, Australia) shoulder
bengal (Malay) temporarily deaf or stubborn malta (Italian) mortar bach (Welsh) cottage
pele (Samoan) pack of playing cards
Skin and buttocks
Just for the record, and to avoid confusion abroad, here are the meanings of a variety of English names when written in other languages: adam (Arabic) skin
alan (Indonesian) comedian
alf (Arabic) thousand, millennium anna (Arabic) moans and groans calista (Portuguese) chiropodist camilla (Spanish) stretcher
cilla (Zarma, Nigeria) basket
doris (Bajan, Barbados) police van eliza (Basque) church
eve (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) buttocks fay (Zarma, Nigeria) divorce
fred (Swedish, Danish and Norwegian) peace jim (Korean) baggage
kim (Ainu, Japan) mountain
kylie (Dharug, Australia) boomerang laura (Greek) group of monks’ huts luke (Chinese) traveller
marianna (Italian) accomplice who tells a gambler the cards held by other players sara (Hausa, Nigeria) snakebite sid (Arabic) plaster
susan (Thai ) cemetery
vera (Italian) wedding ring
First person singular
Ben in Turkish, Ami in Bengali, Fi in Welsh, Jo in Catalan, Mimi in Swedish, Mama in Sinhala (Sri Lanka) and
Man in Wolof (Senegal and
Gambia) all mean I.
Speaking in tongues
British
rst names crop up as the names of languages, too:
Alan (Georgia); Ali (Central Africa); Dan (Ivory Coast); Dido (Russia); Karen (Myanmar and Thailand); Kim (Chad); Laura (Indonesia); Mae
(Vanuatu); Maria (Papua New Guinea and India); Pam (Cameroon); Ron (Nigeria); Sara (Chad); Sonia (Papua New Guinea); U ma (Indonesia); Zaza (Iran).
And equally intriguing to English ears may be: Afar (Ethiopia); Alas (Indonesia); Anus (Indonesia); Bare (Venezuela); Bats (Georgia); Bench (Ethiopia); Bile (Nigeria); Bit (Laos); Bum
(Cameroon); Darling (Australia); Day (Chad); Doe (Tanzania); Eton (Vanuatu/Cameroon); Even (Russia); Ewe (Niger-Congo); Fang (Western
Africa); Fox (North American); Fur (Sudan); Ham (Nigeria); Hermit (Papua New Guinea: extinct); Logo (Congo); Mango (Chad); Miao (SouthEast Asia); Moore (Burkina Faso); Mum (Papua New Guinea); Noon (Senegal); Pear (Cambodia); Poke (Congo); Puma (Nepal); Quiche (Guatemala).
Grand capital of the world
The capital of Thailand is abbreviated by all Thais to Krung Thep, and referred to as Bangkok, meaning literally ‘grove of the wild plums’. But, bearing in mind that there are no spaces between words in written Thai, its full correct name is: Krungthephphramahanakhonbowonratanakosinmahinthara
yuthayamahadilokphiphobnovpharadradchataniburiromudo msantisug
meaning: City of Angels, Great City and Residence of the Emerald Buddha, Impregnable City of the God Indra, Grand Capital of the World,
Endowed with Nine Precious Gems, Abounding in Enormous Royal Palaces which resemble the Heavenly Abode where reigns the Reincarnated God, a City given by Indra and built by Vishnukarm. It rather leaves the Welsh Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwillantysilioogofgoch (meaning St Mary’s Church by the pool of the white hazel trees, near the rapid whirlpool, by the red cave of the Church of St Tysilio) in the shade.
A to Y
At the other end of the scale are three places called
A (in Denmark, Norway and Sweden), and two more, in Alaska and France, called Y.
Toujours Tingo
1. Getting Acquainted
bie shi rongyi; jian shi nan (Chinese)
parting is easy but meeting is di cult Hamjambo
However good or bad we’re feeling inside, we still have to communicate with each other. We come out of our front door, see someone and adopt the public face. ‘How are you?’ ‘Awright, mate?’ we ask at home. Abroad, greetings seem somehow more exotic: stonko?
Muskogee (Oklahoma and Florida, U SA)
ah chop?
Aramaic (Maaloula, Syria)
oli?
Koyo (Congo)
hamjambo?
Kiswahili (South East Africa)
‘Fine, thanks!’ we reply. They say: bare bra
Norwegian
dagu dad
Adyghe (North Caucasus, Russia)
bash
Kurdi (Iran, Iraq)
How is your nose?
The Onge of the Andaman Islands don’t ask ‘How are you?’ but ‘How is your nose?’ The correct response is to reply that you are ‘heavy with odour’. Around the world there are numerous other ways to meet and greet: cead mile failte (Irish) one hundred thousand welcomes
añjalikā (Pali, India) the raising of the hands as a sign of greeting
inga i moana (Gilbertese, Oceania) to greet with open arms but soon tire of er-kas (Pahlavi, Iran) hands under the armpits in respectful salutation
abruzo (Latin American Spanish) the strong hug men give each other whenever they meet
lamuka usalali (Mambwe, Zambia) to greet somebody lying down on one’s back (a salute generally given to chiefs)
‘And this is …’
The Scots have a useful word, tartle, which means to hesitate in recognizing a person or thing, as happens when you are introducing someone whose name you can’t quite remember. They are not the only ones to su er from this infuriating problem: ciniweno (Bemba, Zambia) a thing, the name of which one does not remember joca (Portuguese) thingumajig, thingumabob
Tongue-tied
That little dilemma solved, not everyone
nds it easy to continue:
byatabyata (Tsonga, South Africa) to try to say something but fail for lack of words
vóvôhetâhtsenáotse (Cheyenne, U SA) to prepare the mouth before speaking (for example, by moving or licking one’s lips)
dabodela (Malagasy, Madagascar) one in the habit of opening his mouth so as to show his tongue projecting and rolling a little beyond the teeth, and yet not able to speak
bunhan bunahan (Boro, India) to be about to speak and about not to speak
Chatterbox
W ith others you sometimes wish they found self-expression harder: láu táu (Vietnamese) to talk fast and thoughtlessly
hablar hasta por los codos (Spanish) to talk non-stop (literally, to talk even through the elbows)
mae hi’n siarad fel melin bupur (Welsh) she talks non-stop (literally, she talks like a pepper mill) hinikiza (Swahili) to out-talk a person by making a noise
kumoo musu baa (Mandinka, West Africa) to jump into a conversation without knowing the background nudnyi (Russian) someone who, when asked how they are, tells you in detail
chovochovo (Luvale, Zambia) the tendency to carry on talking after others have stopped
gnagsår i ørene (Norwegian) blisters in your ears: what someone who talks a lot gives you
On re ection
What’s in a name?
First impressions are important, particularly to the people visiting a place for the
rst time. The name of the Canary Islands (Islands of
the Dogs) derives from the wild dogs (canes) that barked savagely at the Romans when they rst arrived on Gran Canaria. Cities
Cuzco (Quechuan, Andes) navel of the earth Khartoum (Arabic) elephant’s trunk
Topeka, Kansas (Sioux Indian) a good place to grow potatoes Countries
Anguilla: from the Spanish for eel, so named by Columbus due to its elongated shape Cameroon: from the Portuguese
Rio de Camarões, River of Shrimps Faroe Islands: from the Faroese Føroyar, Sheep Islands
Barbados: from the name Os Barbados , the Bearded Ones: the island’s g trees sported long roots resembling beards
Keeping in touch
Advances in technology have ensured that we are always on call, but whether that improves the quality of our lives is somewhat debatable: yuppienalle (Swedish) a mobile phone (literally, yuppie teddy: as they were like security blankets for yuppies when they rst came out)
proverka sloukha (Russian) an expression used in telephone conversations, meaning ‘I have nothing special to say – I just called to say hello’ (literally, a hearing test)
telebabad (Tagalog, Philippines) talking on the phone for a long time
prozvonit (Czech and Slovak) to call someone’s mobile from your own to leave your number in their phone’s memory, without the intention of the other person picking up
Tower of Babble
Not that we should ever take communication of any kind for granted. At whatever pace, misunderstandings are all too easy: geop (Gaelic) fast talk which is mostly unintelligible
beròhina (Malagasy, Madagascar) to be spoken to in a strange dialect, to be perplexed by hearing provincialisms
betenger (Manobo, Philippines) to speak another language with a pronunciation that re ects one’s own native language
tener papas en la boca (Chilean Spanish) to speak in a stu y or incomprehensible manner (literally, to have potatoes in the mouth)
False friends
Those who learn languages other than their own will sometimes come across words which look or sound the same as English, but mean very di erent things: dating (Tagalog, Philippines) arrival phrase (French) sentence
dating (Chinese) to ask about, enquire Handy (German) mobile phone
Baloney
And sometimes people just speak rubbish anyway: höpöhöpö (Finnish) nonsense prietpraat (Dutch) twaddle
botalo (Russian) a chatterbox, a babbler (literally, a cowbell)
poyipoyi (Tsonga, South Africa) a person who talks at length but does not make sense bablat (Hebrew) baloney (an acronym of
Beelbool Beytseem Le-Io Takhleet: bothering someone’s testicles for no reason)
ich verstehe nur Wortsalat (German) I don’t understand a thing you are saying (literally, all I hear is the word salad)
Q and A
Information is power, they tell us; but
nding out what we need to know isn’t always as straightforward as we’d like. Sometimes we have to
adopt special methods: candrā nā (Hindi) to make an enquiry with a feigned air of ignorance
antsafa (Malagasy, Madagascar) enquiries about things of which one is fully cognisant beforehand … although of course two can play at that game: gadrii nombor shulen jongu (Tibetan) giving an answer that is unrelated to the question (literally, to give a green answer to a blue question) kinkens (Scots) an evasive answer to an inquisitive child
iqsuktuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) to respond negatively by wrinkling the nose
Mhm mmm
So sometimes it’s ‘yes’ … mhm
Lithuanian
hooo
Agua Caliente (California, U SA)
ow
Amharic (Ethiopia)
eeyee
Setswana (Botswana)
uh-uh-huh
Tamashek (West Africa)
… and other times ‘no’: mmm
Pulawat (Micronesia)
uh uh
Shimasiwa (Comoros, Indian Ocean)
yox
Azerbaijani
bobo
Bété (Cameroon)
doo-yee
Kato (California, U SA)
halo
Chinook (North America)
pepe
Chitonga (Zambia)
hindi
Tagalog (Philippines)
yuk
Tatar (Russia)
Just be sure you know which m(h)mm is which.
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
It’s all Greek to me
People fail to understand each other all the time it seems. The English idiom ‘it’s all Greek to me’ has counterparts throughout the languages of Europe. To the Germans it’s ‘Spanish’, to the Spanish and Hungarians it’s ‘Chinese’, to the French it’s ‘Hebrew’, to the Poles it’s ‘a Turkish sermon’. And, more unusually still, the Germans say ich verstehe nur Bahnhof I only understand station
2. The Human Condition
ge ru-wa nhagi mo choe (Dzongkha, Bhutan)
the nose doesn’t smell the rotting head Tightwad
However much we like to think that all those odd-looking, strange-speaking people around the world are di
erent from us, the shocking
evidence from language is that we are all too similar. Don’t most of us, whether we live in city, shanty-town or rural bliss, know one of these? hallab el-nammleh (Syrian Arabic) a miserly person (literally, ant milker)
krentenkakker (Dutch) one who doesn’t like spending money (literally, someone who shits currants)
kanjus makkhichus (Hindi) a person so miserly that if a y falls into his cup of tea, he’ll sh it out and suck it dry before throwing it away yaalik (Buli, Ghana) sponging, always expecting help or gifts from others without being willing to o er help
False friends ego (Rapanui, Easter Island) slightly soiled hiya (Tagalog, Philippines) bashful incoherent (French) inconsistent liar (Malay) undomesticated
um (Bosnian) mind, intellect slug (Swedish) astute
Big-hearted
Fortunately, those are not the only kind of people on our beautiful and fragile planet: pagad (Manobo, Philippines) to show consideration for a slow-walking person by also walking slowly, so that he can keep up manàra-drìmitra (Malagasy, Madagascar) to involve oneself in another’s calamity by seeking to extricate him
elunud (Manobo, Philippines) to go deliberately to someone’s aid and share in his misfortune, regardless of the obviously ill-fated outcome
Ulterior motive
If only people displaying such
ne qualities were always pure of heart. But the Italians are not the only ones who understand carita pelosa ,
generosity with an ulterior motive: mutakarrim (Persian) one who makes pretensions to generosity
Tantenverführer (German) a young man of excessively good manners whom you suspect of devious motives (literally, aunt seducer) uunguta (Yamana, Chile) to give much more to one than to others
Obligation
Then again, sometimes the totally sincere can be altogether too much: Bärendienst (German) an act someone does for you thinking they are doing you a favour, but which you really didn’t want them to do
arigata-meiwaku (Japanese) an act someone does for you thinking they are doing you a favour, but which you really didn’t want them to do; added to which, social convention now requires you to express suitable gratitude in return
On re ection
Watching the English
In Greek megla (derived from ‘made in England’) denotes elegance and supreme quality and
jampa (derived from ‘made in Japan’)
means very cheap. Other languages use rather di erent standards of Englishness in their idioms: s kliden Angličana (Czech) as calm as an Englishman
ubbriaco come un marinaio inglese (Italian) as drunk as an English sailor ler à l‘anglaise (French) to slip away like the English
Hat over the windmill
Rather than being a sucker who takes consideration for other people’s feelings too far, perhaps it would be better to be one of those enviable individuals who simply doesn’t give a damn? menefreghista (Italian) a person who has an ‘I don’t care’ attitude
piittaamaton (Finnish) unconcerned about other people’s feelings
i v oos nye doot (Russian) not to give a damn (literally, it doesn’t blow in one’s moustache)
no me importa un pepino (Spanish) I don’t care two hoots (literally, I don’t care a cucumber)
jeter son bonnet par-dessus les moulins (French) to throw caution to the winds (literally, to throw one’s hat over the windmills)
Number one
On second thoughts, perhaps not. For the line between self-con
dence and self-centredness is always horribly thin:
szakbarbár (Hungarian) a crank who can think of nothing but his/her subject
iakićagheća (Dakota, U SA) one who is unreasonable in his demands, one who keeps asking for things after he should stop kverulant (Czech) a chronic complainer, a litigious person
hesomagari (Japanese) perverse or cantankerous (literally, bent belly button)
Warm showerer
The Germans have pinpointed some particularly egotistic types: Klugscheisser someone who always knows best (literally, smart shitter)
Warmduscher someone who is easy on himself (literally, warm showerer)
Nose in the clouds
And it’s another short step from egotism to conceit: péter plus haut que son cul (French) to think highly of yourself (literally, to fart higher than your arse)
creerse la ultima Coca-Cola en el desierto (Central American Spanish) to have a very high opinion of oneself (literally, to think one is the last Coca-Cola in the desert)
nosom para oblake (Serbian) he’s conceited, pu ed up (literally, he’s ripping clouds with his nose) khenh khang (Vietnamese) to walk slowly like an important person, to put on airs
cuello duro (Spanish) a snob, stuck-up (literally, hard or sti neck – from keeping one’s nose in the air)
Impressing
Almost as irritating as the conceited and the pompous are those who fail to see that, as they say in the Kannada language of Southern India, ‘Tumbida koDa tuLukuvudilla ’, the pot which is full does not splash: farolero (Spanish) a show-o (literally, a lantern maker)
m’as-tu-vu (French) a show-o (literally, one who constantly asks other people ‘Did you see me?’)
Spesenritter (German) someone who shows o by paying the bill on the rm’s money (literally, expense knight) poshlost (Russian) ostentatious bad taste
jor-joran (Indonesian) to compete in showing o one’s wealth elintasokilpailu (Finnish) keeping up with the Joneses
Sucking up
And yet, despite their obvious failings, both snobs and show-o
s are often surrounded by the human equivalent of a benign parasite. As the
Spanish say, ‘La lisonja hace amigos, y la verdad enemigos ’, attery makes friends and truth makes enemies: chupamedias (Chilean Spanish) a sycophant (literally, sock sucker) banhista (Portuguese) someone who soft-soaps another
digdig (Manobo, Philippines) to praise a person for the quality which he lacks in order to encourage him to develop that quality jijirika (Chichewa, Malawi) to curry favour by doing more than expected, but not necessarily well
Eejit
Can it get worse? U nfortunately it can: lū-lū (Hindi) an idiot, nincompoop
gugbe janjou (Tibetan) a stupid person trying to be clever
kaptsn (Yiddish) one who does not amount to anything and never will eldhus-
(Old Icelandic) an idiot who sits all day by the re
el semaforo de medianoche (Venezuelan Spanish) a person no one respects and of whom everyone takes advantage, a pushover (literally, tra c light at midnight)
Salt in the pumpkin
‘It is foolish to deal with a fool,’ say the practical Japanese, though the Chinese wisely observe that ‘He who asks is a fool for
ve minutes, but
he who does not ask remains a fool forever.’ Such observations reveal what the Catalans call seny, a canny common sense. Others value such qualities too:
ha sale in zucca (Italian) he has common sense (literally, he’s got salt in the pumpkin) baser (Arabic) one with great insight or one who is blind
Idiot savant
In Italy you are
stupido come l’acqua dei maccheroni, as stupid as macaroni water; in Lithuania, kvailas kaip žąsis , as silly as a goose; while in
France you can be as stupid as une cruche (a pitcher), un pot (a pot) or un chou (a cabbage). But even idiots are not necessarily all they seem: adalahendry (Malagasy, Madagascar) a person ignorant yet wise in some things Spruchkasper (German) a fool full of wise sayings
apo trelo kai apo pedi mathenis tin aletheia (Greek proverb) from a crazy person and from children you learn the truth
Pregnant birds
Although the very young can delight us with their wonderful and surprising remarks, naivety is not, sadly, a state of mind that will work for a lifetime: creer en pajaritos preñados (Venezuelan Spanish) to be credulous (literally, to believe in pregnant birds) yelang zida (Chinese) ludicrous conceit stemming from pure ignorance
lolo (Hawaiian Pidgin) someone who would be glad to give you the time of day, if he knew how to read a clock
A piece of bread
How wonderful it is when we meet that rare person who just gets it right all the time: katundu (Chichewa, Malawi) a person with outstanding positive qualities
Lieblingsstück (German) the favourite item of a collection (said of someone special)
para quitar el hipo (Latin American Spanish) very impressive; astonishing (literally, enough to cure the hiccups) es un pedazo de pan (Spanish) he/she’s a good person/it’s a good thing (literally, he/she/it is a piece of bread)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
A leopard cannot change its spots chassez le naturel, il revient au gallop (French) chase away the natural and it returns at a gallop
aus einem Ackergaul kann man kein Rennpferd machen (Swabian German) you cannot turn a farm horse into a racehorse dhanab al kalb a ’waj walaw hattaytu
khamsin galib (Arabic) the dog’s tail remains crooked even if it’s put in fty moulds
vuk dlaku mijenja ali æud nikada (Croatian) a wolf changes his coat but not his attitude
die Katze lässt das Mausen nicht (German) the cat will not abandon its habit of chasing mice chi nasce quadrato non muore tondo (Italian) if you are born square you don’t die round
chi nasce quadrato non muore tondo (Italian) if you are born square you don’t die round
karishkirdi kancha baksang dele tokoigo kachat (Kyrgyz) no matter how well you feed a wolf it always looks at the forest gorbatogo mogila ispravit (Russian) only the grave will cure the hunchback
3. Emotional Intelligence
wie boter op zijn hoofd heeft,
moet niet in de zon lopen (Dutch)
those who have butter on their head should not run around under the sun Happy valley
W hatever kind of character we’ve been blessed with, we all still experience similar highs and lows of emotion. Pure happiness is a wonderful thing; and we should never take it for granted, for who knows how long it may last? kusamba (Ngangela, Angola) to skip, gambol, express uninhibited joy
sungumuka (Luvale, Zambia) to experience transitory pleasure in the novel
faly ambonindoza (Malagasy, Madagascar) delight before the danger is passed, premature joy
choi lu bù (Vietnamese) to have round after round of fun
alegria secreta candela muerta (Spanish proverb) unshared joy is an unlighted candle
In the coal cellar
The opposite emotion is rarely sought, but it arrives all the same: at være i kulkælderen (Danish) to be very sad or depressed (literally, to be in the coal cellar) lalew (Manobo, Philippines) to grieve over something to the extent that one doesn’t eat
dastehen wie ein begossener Pudel (German) to look depressed (literally, to stand there like a soaked poodle) mal ikke fanden på veggen (Norwegian) to be very pessimistic (literally, to paint the devil on the wall) dar lástima (Latin American Spanish) to be in such a bad way that people feel sorry for you
False friends bang (Dutch) afraid
blag (Haitian Creole) joke
puke (Rotuman, South Paci c) to come strongly over one (of feelings) drift (Dutch) passion
drift (Dutch) passion
job (Mongolian) correct, good meal (Gaelic) to enjoy
Boo-hoo
Sometimes the best course is just to let it all hang out: kutar-atugutata (Yamana, Chile) to get hoarse from much crying gegemena (Rukwangali, Namibia) to mutter while sobbing
sekgamatha (Setswana, Botswana) the dirtiness of the face and eyes from much crying dusi (Malay) to be perpetually crying (of young children)
ā paddharm (Hindi) a conduct permissible only in times of extreme distress
Crocodile
Though even tears are never as straightforward as we might like them to be: ilonkyynelet (Finnish) tears of joy
miangòtingòtim-bòninàhitra (Malagasy, Madagascar) to weep in order to get something chantepleurer (French) to sing and weep simultaneously
Smiley
‘Cheer up!’ we tell each other. And hopefully this brings the right results: elmosolyodik (Hungarian) to break into a smile
sogo o kuzusu (Japanese) to smile with delight (literally, to demolish one’s face) cuòi khì (Vietnamese) to laugh a silly laugh
On re ection
German Blues
The idioms of the world are full of colour. But in Germany ‘blue’ has a rich range of uses: blaue vom Himmel herunter lügen to lie constantly (literally, to lie the blue out of the sky) grün und blau ärgern sich to see red (literally, to anger oneself green and blue) blau machen to take a day o (literally, to make blue) blau sein to be drunk (literally, to be blue)
mit einem blauen Auge davon kommen to get o unscathed (literally, to get away with a blue eye) ein blaues Auge a black eye (literally, a blue eye)
die blaue Stunde the time before dusk especially during winter (literally, the blue hour)
Tee-hee
Sometimes, indeed, more than the right results: bungisngís (Tagalog, Philippines) one who giggles at the slightest provocation ngisngis (Manobo, Philippines) someone who cannot control his laughter latterkrampe (Norwegian) convulsive laughter
mengare (Gilbertese, Oceania) a forced laugh, to laugh on the wrong side of one’s mouth
mengare (Gilbertese, Oceania) a forced laugh, to laugh on the wrong side of one’s mouth
tirebouchonnant (French) extremely funny (literally, like a corkscrew – as one takes in air repeatedly to laugh) mémêstátamaò’o (Cheyenne, U SA) to laugh so hard that you fart
No potato
In the Arab world they distinguish between those who are goodhumoured,
damak khafeef , literally, their blood is light, and the opposite, damak
tieel, their blood is heavy. But however wellmeaning, humour always carries the risk of failure: pikun (Kapampangan, Philippines) one who cannot take a joke nye kartoshka (Russian) no joking matter (literally, no potato)
jayus (Indonesian) someone who tries to make a joke which is so unfunny that you laugh anyway
Pulling your nose
The di
erent expressions for ‘pulling someone’s leg’ reveal subtle distinctions in approaches to teasing. For the Germans it’s jemandem einen
Bären aufbinden, literally, to fasten a bear onto someone; for the French it’s mettre en boite, to put someone in a box. The Spanish pull your hair (tomar el pelo), the Finns pull your nose ( vetää nenästä ), while the Czechs go one further and hang balls on your nose ( věšet bulíky na nos ).
Worry-wart
But better, surely, to laugh at your troubles than live on your nerves: bēi gōng shé y ng (Chinese) worrying about things that aren’t there (literally, seeing the re ection of a bow in a cup and thinking it’s a snake) qaquablaabnaqtuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) to be tense because of an impending unpleasantness
doki doki (Japanese) the feeling of great anxiety when someone is about to do or doing something very nerve-racking hira hira (Japanese) the feeling you get when you walk into a dark and decrepit old house in the middle of the night
como cocodrilo en fabrica de carteras (Puerto Rican Spanish) to be extremely nervous (literally, to be like a crocodile in a wallet factory)
No balls
W e all aspire to zanshin (Japanese), a state of relaxed mental alertness in the face of danger; but for most of us our reactions are all too human when bad things really do happen: les avoir à zéro (French) to be frightened (literally, to have one’s testicles down to zero) ngua mat (Vietnamese) unable to stand something shocking
khankhanana (Tsonga, South Africa) to fall backwards rigid (as in a t or from extreme fright) jera (Indonesian) so scared by a past experience that one will never want to do it again
Spider on the ceiling
Then again, rather be healthily scared than driven round the bend: keçileri kaçirma (Turkish) to lose one’s marbles (literally, to kidnap the goats)
avoir une araignée au plafond (French) to be crazy (literally, to have a spider on the ceiling) lud ko struja (Serbian) crazy as electricity
más loco que un plumero (Spanish) crazier than a feather duster
vrane su mu popile mozak (Croatian) he’s crazy (literally, cows have drunk his brain)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
A sandwich short of a picnic šplouchá mu na maják (Czech) it’s splashing on his lighthouse
hij heeft een klap van de molen gehad (Dutch) he got a blow from the windmill
ne pas avoir inventé le l à couper le beurre (French) not to have invented the cheese wire to cut butter hu khay beseret (Hebrew) he lives in a movie; his whole life is like a movie non avere tutti i venerdì (Italian) to be lacking some Fridays
tem macaquinhos no sotão (Portuguese) he has little monkeys in the attic udaren mokrom čarapom (Serbian) hit with a wet sock
ikke at være den skarpeste kniv i sku en (Danish) not to be the sharpest knife in the drawer
4. Social Animals
ui mai koe ki ahau he aha te mea nui o te ao, māku e kī atu he tangata, he tangata, he tangata! (Maori) ask me what is the greatest thing in the world, I will reply: it is people, it is people, it is people!
Most of us are sociable creatures, unable to avoid relying on those around us to keep us happy: bukaladza (Tsonga, South Africa) to dispel boredom by doing something such as paying a visit buren (Dutch) to look in upon one’s neighbours
lishashamana (Lozi, Niger-Congo) the habit of running out to see anything that happens
gezellig (Dutch) an atmosphere of cosiness, of being with good friends, and spending time together laughing and having fun; the kind of moments that create memories
Hermit
Better that than being the odd one out: lappsjuka (Swedish) a state of melancholy through being so isolated
encontrarse como un pulpo en un garaje (Spanish) to be like a sh out of water (literally, to be like an octopus in a garage) nkunkula pansi (Mambwe, Zambia) an orphan who has no one to look after him and passes his time playing in the dust
Whacking aunt
W hen we do get together, are our conversations as morally improving as they might be? gigirhi-gigirhi (Tsonga, South Africa) to go from village to village exchanging gossip Klatschbase (German) a person who always gossips (literally, whacking aunt) ngasngás (Tagalog, Philippines) a scandal caused by gossip
Bären aufbinden (German) to tell false tales (literally, to tie a bear onto someone)
False friends sober (Estonian) male friend drug (Russian) good friend
fun (Yoruba, Nigeria, Benin and Togo) to give host (Czech) guest
Party spirit
For some the urge to socialize can get the better of their wiser instincts: mawadishiweshkiwin (Ojibway, North America) the habit of making visits too often
mit der Tür ins Haus (German) failing to take someone by surprise, to be too direct, to be too forward (literally, to fall with the door into the house)
paglaguma (Tagalog, Philippines) the act of joining others in a party although uninvited
paracaidista (Central American Spanish) a freeloader, gatecrasher; also someone who jumps into a discussion without knowing anything about the subject (literally, parachutist)
Storm-free shack
But then who can resist a really good bash? parapetowka (Polish) the rst party in someone’s new apartment (literally, a windowsiller – as there’s no furniture yet) ipeje (Yoruba, Nigeria, Benin and Togo) an invitation to a banquet
ponkal (Tamil) a boiling, a bubbling-up; a great festival in honour of the sun entering the sign Capricorn (the name comes from the cooking of the celebratory rice)
eine sturmfreie Bude (German) a at without the parents, thus allowing the children to throw a party (literally, a storm-free shack) nachspil (Swedish) a follow-up party
After-parties
In Japan, the second, sometimes spontaneous gathering that happens after you have left the main party is called
nijikai. If you move on after a
while to a third place, it’s called sanjikai.
Looking over the fence
Some guests are obviously more welcome than others: partigangare (Swedish) a fanatical partygoer laumaeläin (Finnish) a gregarious animal
Zaungast (German) a guest who looks over the fence to get at least the music of the party (literally, fence guest) agua estas (Spanish) a killjoy, one who throws water on a party (literally, water party)
The sound of yoghurt
A little music often helps … kanariom (Yoeme, U SA and Mexico) the rst tune played or danced dorremifassolar (Portuguese) to play scales on the piano
yaourt (French) English pop music sung without any understanding of the meaning; singing to create something that sounds like English pop music but actually isn’t (literally, yoghurt)
accharika (Pali, India) to make heavenly music
Wiggle your bucket … and then things can really kick o : gida (South Africa Township) to jump up and down constantly in one place (as a form of dance) menear el bote (Mexican Spanish) to dance (literally, to wiggle your bucket)
chachula (Tsonga, South Africa) a dance with the rhythmic quivering of the body kundáy (Tagalog, Philippines) dance movements made by the wrist
Duck feet
Or not, as the case may be: hávêsévôhomo’he (Cheyenne, U SA) to dance badly
asiqtuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) nodding with the head while others dance
pamutas-silya (Tagalog, Philippines) ladies who go to dances but do not dance
pamutas-silya (Tagalog, Philippines) ladies who go to dances but do not dance paton (Cuban Spanish) duck feet (i.e. can’t dance)
Keeping their bottle
Sometimes you just have to call in the professionals: binasohan (Bikol, Philippines) a dance in which three glasses partially lled with wine are balanced, one on the head and one on each hand danza de la botella (Paraguayan Spanish) a bottle dance in which each dancer balances a ower- lled bottle on his head gamadj (Ojibway, North America) dancing with a scalp in one’s hands, in order to receive some presents
On re ection
National anthems
The title of a country’s o
cially chosen anthem can be very revealing about its history: the Czech
Kde domov mů j (Where is My Home)
re ects many years of shifting borders and invasions. Other interesting titles include: Burkina Faso: U ne seule nuit (Just One Night) Israel: Hatikvah (The Hope) Kurdistan: Ey Reqîb (Hey Enemy or Hey Guardian) Netherlands: Het Wilhemus (The William)
Norway: Ja, vi elsker dette landet (Yes, We Love This Country) Romania: Deşteaptă-te, Române (Wake U p, Romanian)
Tuva, Siberia: Tooruktug Dolgay Tangdym (The Forest is Full of Pine Nuts)
Time, please
Always be wary of overstaying your welcome. As the Italians say, ‘
L’ospite è come il pesce: dopo tre giorni puzza’, the guest is like a sh: after
three days he smells bad: desconvidar (Portuguese) to withdraw an invitation
il est comme un cheveu dans la soupe (French) he is not welcome; he has come at an awkward time (literally, he is like a hair in the soup) pudyapudya (Tsonga, South Africa) to go away because one is shown one is not wanted ngloyor (Indonesian) to go without saying goodbye
apagavelas (Caribbean Spanish) the last person to leave a party
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Have your cake and eat it auf zwei Hochzeiten tanzen (German) to dance at two weddings
aam ke aam, guthliyon ke daam (Hindi) you can have mangoes and sell the seeds as well dikasih hati minta jantung (Indonesian) given the liver and demands the heart
avoir le beurre, argent du beurre et la crémière avec (French) to have butter, money from butter, and the woman who makes the butter non si puo avere la botte piena è la moglie ubriaca (Italian) you can’t have a full cask of wine and a drunken wife
5. Having an Argument
casa onde não há pão, todos ralham e ninguém tem razão ( Portuguese)
in a breadless home, everyone complains and nobody is right Cold porridge
One downside to socializing is all the enforced jollity, often with people you might not choose to spend that much time with otherwise: metepatas (Spanish) a person who always does or says the wrong thing
yokogamiyaburi (Japanese) an obstinate person (literally, to be di cult to tear paper sideways)
elle coupe les cheveux en quatre (French) she is a di cult person (literally, she cuts hair into four pieces) kashi nye svarit (Russian) to be impossible to get along with (literally, the porridge can’t be boiled)
Being di cult
The German expression
Fisimatenten machen , meaning to make things unnecessarily di cult, is a mangling of the French visiter ma tante (visit
my aunt). It originates in the di culty of imposing a curfew on occupied France during the Second World War. Visiter ma tante was the general excuse used by people arrested on the streets at night by French soldiers.
On the edge
W atch out for those snappy exclamations. They’re generally a sign of rapidly fading patience: kalter Ka ee (German) that’s old hat (literally, cold co ee) dang-geun i-ji (Korean) it’s obvious (literally, it’s a carrot)
da lachen die Hühner (German) you must be joking (literally, this makes the chickens laugh) heso de cha o wakasu (Japanese) don’t make me laugh (literally, I boil tea in my navel) nu tog fan bo nken (Swedish) now that’s done it (literally, the devil took the cha nch)
ne cui hui v chai (Russian) don’t mess things up (literally, don’t stir the tea with your penis)
Looking for the hair
And some people just can’t help but provoke you: bamp (Scots) to harp on the same topic constantly, to nag about the same thing
chercher un poil aux oeufs (French) to nit-pick (literally, to look for a hair on eggs)
juubakonosumi o (yoojide) tsutsuku (Japanese) to split hairs (literally, to pick at the corners of a food-serving box with a toothpick) no tener pelos en la lengua (Latin American Spanish) to be very outspoken (literally, to have no hairs on your tongue)
napleiten (Dutch) to discuss might-have-beens, go over old ground again, keep on arguing after a thing has been decided
Pig’s ribbon
Sometimes you can feel it all getting too much: la moutarde me monte au nez (French) to begin to lose one’s temper (literally, mustard is climbing up my nose) akaspa (Dakota, U SA) to be provoked beyond endurance
poner como lazo de cochino a (alguien) (Mexican Spanish) to jump down someone’s throat (literally, to make someone look like a pig’s ribbon)
Cracking up
W e must, of course, do our very best to be tactful and discreet, relying on our wits to keep us out of trouble: mijèry àrina an-tàva (Malagasy, Madagascar) not to tell a person his faults (literally, to notice a blotch on the face but not mention it) dar(le) el avión a (alguien) (Mexican Spanish) to say yes or agree, without really meaning it or paying attention (literally, to give the aeroplane)
tumodisa (Setswana, Botswana) to shut a person’s mouth to prevent him from speaking ad-hoc-Bildungen (German) making up a new word on the spot in a moment of need
adin’ andriana (Malagasy, Madagascar) a quarrel in which both parties show great respect for each other
On re ection
Hell is other people(s)
It’s always easier to describe unpleasant things or experiences in foreign terms; it makes them less immediate and it’s a good way of having a dig at another culture at the same time. When we can’t understand someone’s English we call it Double Dutch; while the Danes call a grey cloudy day Swedish Sunshine:
spaans benauwd (Dutch) lack of air when you are dead nervous (literally, Spanish lack of air)
une querelle d’Allemand (French) a quarrel started for no obvious or good reason (literally, a German argument) kitaiskyi televizor (Russian) the manual examination of baggage at customs (literally, Chinese television) mandras kaip prancū zu šuo (Lithuanian) proud as a French dog
avoir l’oeil americain (French) to have a sharp eye (literally, an American eye)
doccia scozzese (Italian) a shower that goes from very hot to very cold (literally, Scottish shower)
schwedische Gardinen (German) prison bars (literally, Swedish curtains – the Swedish had a reputation for ne quality steel)
Mexican rage
Mexican Spanish has expressions for each stage of losing your patience with someone.
Alucinar a alguien is to be fed up with someone’s
constant and not very welcome presence; estar como agua para (pa’) chocolate , to be absolutely furious (literally, to be as hot as the water needed to melt chocolate); and nally parar(se) de pestañas describes losing it completely (literally, to stand on your eyelashes).
Picking a ght
The typically polite Japanese use few insults and those they do use tend to be indirect.
Baka (fool) is a combination of the words for ‘horse’ and
‘deer’, with the implication that anyone who cannot tell a horse from a deer is obviously a fool.
Get lost !
Other cultures get straight to the point: vai à fava (Portuguese) go to the fava bean! sukse kuuseen (Finnish) ski into a spruce! ej bekot (Latvian) go mushrooming!
skatertyu droga (Russian) table cloth to the road! … especially in the Spanish-speaking world: banarse take a bath! buscar berros
nd watercress!
freir bunuelos fry doughnuts!
freir esparragos fry asparagus! hacer gargaras gargle!
a la goma as far as rubber stretches!
Dumb as bread
The rest of the world is not short of colourful verbal insults. ‘May the
eas of a thousand camels infest your armpits,’ they say in Arabic; and
many other languages compare people to animals when being rude. In French your object of scorn is a chameau (camel) or vache (cow); in
Swahili, a punda (zebra); while in Vietnam you call the o ender do cho de, literally, you dog birth. Other expressions of abuse have clearly exercised the full imagination of the truly upset:
du bist doch dumm wie Brot (German) you are as dumb as bread
korinttiaivot (Finnish) an insult to describe the old (literally, currant brains)
du kannst mir mal in die Schuhe blasen (Swiss German) kiss my arse (literally, you can blow into my shoes)
du kannst mir gern den Buckel runterrutschen und mit der Zunge bremsen (Austrian German) you can slide down my hunchback using your tongue as a brake
Anger-hair
Now things are in danger of getting seriously out of control: tener una cara de telefono ocupado (Puerto Rican Spanish) to be angry (literally, to have a face like a busy telephone) Gesicht wie ein Feuermelder (German) to be so angry that one’s face turns red (literally, a face like a re alarm) mencak-mencak (Indonesian) to stamp one’s feet on the ground repeatedly, getting very angry
dohatsu-ten o tsuku (Japanese) to be beside oneself with rage (literally, anger-hair points to heaven) mouton enragé (French) maddened sheep (said of an angry person who is usually calm) waśihdaka (Dakota, U SA) one who gets angry at everything
False friends twist (Dutch) quarrel, dispute, altercation, wrangle batman (Turkish) thrust
batman (Turkish) thrust
pee (Dutch) to be annoyed hot (Swedish) threat
The blame game
W hen the blood is boiling things can get increasingly complicated: togogata (Yamana, Chile) to turn one’s attention and anger from one person to another
joo (Mandinka, West Africa) anger at someone other than the one who caused the anger
babit (Malay) to implicate third parties in a dispute
hewula (Tsonga, South Africa) to shout down one who keeps on arguing after the evidence has shown him to be guilty
Macho moment
Pray God, it doesn’t turn physical: imbang (Malay) reluctant but prepared to ght
makgatlha (Setswana, Botswana) challengers who show their wish to ght by throwing down a handful of earth dii-konya (Ndebele, Southern Africa) to destroy your own property in anger lusud (Manobo, Philippines) to go into someone’s house to ght them
parandhu parandhu adikkaradhu (Tamil) to ght by jumping and ying in the air langola (Mambwe, Zambia) to repeatedly throw a man very hard to the ground sugun (Malay) seizing the hair or throat to force down your adversary
cisanan (Yamana, Chile) a canoe with an avenger of blood in it coming to exact vengeance
The female is the deadlier …
The Finnish have a wonderful word, knapsu, for anything that’s not male behaviour. Other cultures are quick to notice the gender-speci
c:
Stutenbeißen (German) the special behaviour of women in a rivalry situation (literally, mare biting)
dzinana (Tsonga, South Africa) to pummel one another with the side of the sts, away from the thumb, as ghting women do)
vongola (Tsonga, South Africa) to expose the buttocks (which is done by women as the ultimate insult when they run out of invective)
agarrar(se) del chongo (Latin American Spanish) to brawl, to ght – applied to women (literally, to grab each other by the bun of the hair)
The apping of wings
W hatever sex we are, we sometimes can’t resist having the last word: kulumbana (Tsonga, South Africa) to follow a person who left a meeting in disgust and shout insults and reproaches after him
dar patadas de ahogado (Latin American Spanish) to ght a losing battle (literally, to thrash around uselessly when you’ll drown anyway) aleteo (Caribbean Spanish) the last words in a lost argument (literally, apping of wings)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
The pot calling the kettle black c’est l’hôpital qui se moque de la Charité (French) it’s the hospital that mocks Charity
bagoly mondja a verébnek, hogy nagyfejű (Hungarian) the owl calls the sparrow big-headed rugala se sova sjenici (Croatian) the owl mocked the tit
il bue che dice cornuto all’asino (Italian) the ox saying ‘horned’ to the donkey rîde ciob de oală spartă (Romanian) the splinter laughs at the broken pot al jamal ma yishuf sanamu (Arabic) the camel cannot see its own hump
ein Esel schimpft den anderen Langohr (German) a donkey gets cross with a rabbit
6. The Rules of Attraction a tola e à lettu alcunu rispettu (Corsican) have no respect at the table and in bed
The Russian word for falling in love,
oupast’, also means to be at a loss, to understand nothing. Other languages stress the magic of the early
stages of the romantic encounter: koi no yokan (Japanese) a sense on rst meeting that something is going to evolve into love ong buóm (Vietnamese) bees and butter ies, irtations, love-making
anhimmeln (German) to look enraptured at someone (literally, as if they were the sky)
No-pan kissa
On summer evenings, in little towns in Italy, young men and women
fare la passeggiata , perambulating the central square sizing each other up
and irting, or, as they say in that country, fare il galletto, to do like the rooster. Other societies o er other options: blyazh (Russian) a beach where girls can be picked up
kamáki (Greek) the young local guys strolling up and down beaches hunting for female tourists (literally, harpoons) no-pan kissa (Japanese) co ee shops with mirrored oors to allow customers to look up waitresses’ skirts tyčovka (Czech) a woman who hangs on to the pole next to the bus driver and chats him up
Like a motorway
In Indonesia, they have a word for falling in love at
rst sight: kepincut. But when it comes to what’s most attractive in a woman, there seems to
be no accounting for tastes: rombhoru (Bengali) a woman having thighs as well-shaped as banana trees
autostrada (Italian) a very slender girl without pronounced sexual attributes (literally, a motorway) e thamba (Oshindonga, Namibia) a big, fat and clean girl ba ona (Italian) an attractive moustachioed woman
at have både til gården og til gaden (Danish) a woman well equipped both at the front and the rear (literally, to have both to the courtyard and to the street)
Double take
Certainly, caution is advised in the early stages: layogenic (Tagalog, Philippines) someone good-looking from afar but not up close
daburu bikkuri (Japanese) women who, as they are approaching a stall, look so attractive that they give the vendor a shock, but when they nally arrive at his counter they give him another shock as the scales fall from his eyes (literally, double shock)
A face only a mother could love
And one should always be wary of a blind date: kakobijin (Japanese) the sort of woman who talks incessantly about how she would have been thought of as a stunner if she had lived in a di erent era, when men’s tastes in women were di erent (literally, bygone beauty)
kimangamanga (Gilbertese, Oceania) a person with a ridiculous walk and defective bottom
sjøstygg (Norwegian) being so ugly that the tide won’t come in if you’re on the shore (literally, sea ugly) skreeulelik (Afrikaans) scream ugly (i.e. so frightening as to make the viewer scream)
être moche à caler des roués de corbillard (French) to be extremely ugly (literally, to be ugly enough to stop the wheels of a hearse)
Diving sh, swooping geese
In China, many hundreds of years ago, a poet said of the great beauty Hsi Chi that when she went for a walk
sh dived deeper, geese swooped
o their course, and deer ran into the forest before her beauty. Therefore, instead of saying a woman is as beautiful as Hsi Chi, in Chinese one simply says the four words ch’en yü, le yen , diving sh, swooping geese.
You beautiful creature
In other languages the comparison with animals may be even more direct. In Arabic, a beautiful woman is spoken of as having yoon al ghrazaali, the eyes of the gazelle. Similar metaphorical expressions abound: miyulesa (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a woman with eyes like a deer’s
omïrïghlïgh (Khakas, Siberia) a person having a beautiful bearing in the same way that a horse has a strong chest kati-keharī (Hindi) having the waist of an elegant lion (used of an attractive woman)
And what do women want?
The men of the Wodaabe (a nomadic tribe of Central and East Africa) perform the
yaake, a competition of charm and personality judged by
young women. Performing the yaake, a man who can hold one eye still and roll the other is considered particularly alluring by the judges. karlakarl (Swedish) a real man
bellone (Italian) a hunk who’s rather too pleased with himself tarzan (Hebrew) a dandy
armoire à glace (French) a great hulking brute (literally, a wardrobe of ice cream)
Double Valentine
In Japan, Valentine’s Day is celebrated on two di
erent dates: 14 February, when girls are allowed to express their love to boys by presenting
chocolate; and 14 March, known as White Day, when the male has to return the gift he received. Chocolates given sincerely on these days are
honmei-choko, true-feeling chocolates. However, women are also obliged to give chocolates to all the men in their lives, meaning large numbers of co-workers, bosses, etc. These are known as giri-choko, obligatory chocolates.
My Japanese prints
The Hindi language has sandesh-kā vya , describing a poetic form where the lover sends his message of love and yearning to his beloved through clouds or birds. The Mailu language of Papua New Guinea has oriori, a boy’s song to attract a girl. Aspiring Western Romeos often prefer a more basic approach:
war dein Vater ein Dieb? Weil er die Sterne vom Himmel gestohlen hat um sie dir in die Augen zu setzen Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes
(German) Was your father a thief ?
scusa, baci gli sconosciuti? No? Allora, mi presento … (Italian) Excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? Well, let me introduce myself … venez voir mes estampes japonaises (French) Why don’t you come up and see my Japanese prints
Hit by a basket
Not all approaches are necessarily welcome: echar(le) los perros a alguien (Latin American Spanish) to irt with, make a pass at someone (literally, to set the dogs on someone) oshi no itte (Japanese) to pursue someone aggressively; to not take no for an answer (literally, pushing and pushing alone)
dostat košem (Czech) to irt with or hit on somebody who isn’t interested and turns you down (literally, to be hit by a basket)
dikupu (Setswana, Botswana) stubs or stumps of hands or legs (said teasingly by women to a man who shows no interest in them)
Octopussy
And there are some guys who just don’t get the message at all: atracador (Latin American Spanish) a person who feels up a woman; someone whose sexual advances are heavy-handed and unwelcome (literally, mugger)
ozhappu edukkaradhu (Tamil) an act of sexual harassment perpetrated against female passengers in a crowded bus or train el pulpo (Spanish) someone who is ‘all hands’, who likes to touch women inappropriately (literally, octopus)
Gooseberry
However well or badly it’s going, in matters of romance, two’s company, but three is very de
nitely a crowd:
tocar el violin (Chilean Spanish) a person who uncomfortably accompanies an amorous couple (literally, to play the violin) segurando a vela (Portuguese) to be the third wheel on a date (literally, holding the candle)
False friends sleep (Afrikaans) girlfriend or boyfriend titì (Tagalog, Philippines) penis poluzzione (Italian) semen Pu
(German) brothel
spunk (Scots) a spark of re bite (French) penis
bite (French) penis
chain (Yiddish) charm
See-you-home wolf
Beware those for whom the habit has become more important than the object: Schuerzenjaeger (German) someone who chases after women (literally, a hunter of aprons)
amoureux d’une chèvre coi ée (French) a man who is attracted to every woman he sees (literally, a lover of a goat whose fur is combed) buaya darat (Indonesian) a man who fools women into thinking he’s a very faithful lover when in fact he goes out with many di erent women at the same time (literally, land crocodile)
okuri-okami (Japanese) a man who feigns thoughtfulness by o ering to see a girl home only to try to molest her once he gets in the door (literally, a see-you-home wolf)
tlazolmiquiztli (Aztec) the stench which emanates from adulterers
No sweat
For the less sophisticated, courtship can be full of confusing obstacles and hard work: castigar (Latin American Spanish) purposely to ignore your boyfriend or girlfriend in order to heighten their yearning for you
janeleiro (Portuguese) said of one who spends a lot of time at the front window, especially a young woman who is something of a coquette talisuyò (Tagalog, Philippines) the work done by a man to win a lady’s hand shvitzer (Yiddish) someone who sweats a lot (especially a nervous seducer)
otenkiya (Japanese) someone who blows hot and cold (literally, weatherman)
Peppery-hot
So we can only hope that sincere feeling will win the day: cay (Vietnamese) to be peppery-hot; to have a passion for
an jemandem einen A en gefressen haben (German) to be infatuated with someone (literally, to have eaten a monkey in someone) ciğerimin köşesinden (Turkish) to love someone from the bottom of your heart (literally, from the corner of your liver) avoir des atomes crochus (French) to really hit it o (literally, to have hooked atoms)
Mouth relaxation
Comes the magic moment when the mental can at last become physical: oxsanïstïr (Khakas, Siberia) to let oneself be kissed conk (Hindi) the imprint of a kiss smirikin (Scots) a stolen kiss
şap şap öpmek (Turkish) to kiss by making a smacking noise with the lips
şap şap öpmek (Turkish) to kiss by making a smacking noise with the lips csókolgat (Hungarian) to shower with kisses
cupang (Indonesian) a love bite (literally, Siamese ghting sh)
Spider feet
Then how easy life can be: a lar (Argentinian Spanish) to chat with your sweetheart
gemas (Indonesian) a feeling of nding something or somebody so cute that you want to squeeze or pinch it
cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese) the loving, tender running of one’s ngers through the hair of one’s mate (from the act of a favoured slave who picked lice out of the slavemaster’s child’s hair)
cwtch (Welsh) to hug and snuggle up in a loving way
faire des pattes d’araignée (French) to touch lightly with the ngertips (literally, to make spider feet)
The Paraguayan way
One thing leads to another and soon events move to a whole new level. As the Russians say, ‘
Snyavshi shtany, po volosam ne gladyat’, once
you’ve taken o your pants it’s too late to look at your hair: zulana (Mambwe, Zambia) to undress one another
lapóng (Tagalog, Philippines) sexual foreplay with the breasts
ikibari (Japanese) a lively needle, if a man is willing but under-endowed Notstandt (German) an emergency erection
hacerlo a la paraguaya (Chilean Spanish) to have sex standing up (literally, the Paraguayan way)
voir la feuille à l’envers (French) to have sex under a tree (literally, to see the leaf from underneath) rabu hoteru (Japanese) hotels especially for making love
The little death
The Maguindanaon language of the Philippines uses the same word,
lembu, to describe both an orgasm and the fat of animals, whereas
descriptions in other languages dwell on the intensity of the experience: şiddetli heyecan (Turkish) literally, drastic excitement
höchste Wallung (German) literally, maximum bubbling
Secrets and lies
Such compelling activity brings with it, in some societies, a whole new set of excitements and problems: Fensterln (German) the act of climbing a ladder to a woman’s window, bypassing the parents and chaperones, to have sex in the night
besengkayau (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) to hang by the hands from a beam and move along it hand over hand (done by young men courting at night to avoid walking on the springy and creaking oor)
miàla màndry (Malagasy, Madagascar) to spend the night away from home and yet be back in the early morning as if never having been away un petit cinq-à-sept (French) a quick ve to seven o’clock (an afternoon quickie with your lover before going home to your spouse)
On re ection
In Rome love will come to you suddenly
Palindromes – words and sentences that read the same forwards and backwards – have been popular since ancient times. The Germans have even come up with a palindromic word – Eibohphobie – that means a fear of palindromes:
a dyma’r addewid diweddar am y da (Welsh) and here is the recent promise about the livestock socorram-me, subi no onibus em Marrocos (Portuguese) help me I took a bus in Morocco
Selmas lakserøde garagedøre skal samles (Danish) Selma’s salmon red garage doors must be assembled ein Neger mit Gazelle zagt im Regen nie (German) a Negro with a gazelle never despairs in the rain Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor (Latin) in Rome love will come to you suddenly
Thanks for the treat
In Japan, norokeru means to boast in an annoying way about your great relationship, while
gochisosama is a sarcastic reply (literally, thanks for
the treat). But good, bad or too-perfect-to-be-true, in reality relationships come in all varieties: sarbo (Dutch) a person who regularly sleeps with the same partner while living separately nanoua (Gilbertese, Oceania) a heart divided between two loves
kutzwagers (Dutch) two or more men who have slept with the same woman
stroitel’ (Russian) a man who likes to have sex with two women at the same time
Fried sh enthusiasm
The Germans have come up with some very useful descriptions of the nuances of modern love: die Bettgeschichte a one-night stand (literally, bedtime story)
das Bratkarto elverhältnis someone who cooks and cleans in exchange for occasional a ection (literally, home-fries a air) Lückenfüller the person one dates between two serious relationships (literally, hole- ller)
Back schschwärmerei the crush young teenage girls get for older men (literally, fried sh enthusiasm)
Faded tomatoes
Relationships come in all lengths too. If it’s not going to end in marriage or a seemly long-term partnership without legal ties, there inevitably must come the brutal moment when one has to tell the other that things are no longer rosy in the garden of love: Trennungsagentur (German) a man hired by women to break the news to their men that they are dumped (literally, separation agent) dejar clavado a alguien (Spanish) to dump someone, to stand them up (literally, to leave someone nailed) dostat kopačky (Czech) to be dumped (literally, to get football boots)
dar calabazas (Spanish) to jilt, ignore or stand someone up; to reject a marriage proposal (literally, to give pumpkins) il due di picche (Italian) to be dumped (literally, the two of spades, as in the card you are given)
proshla mlyubov’ zavyali pomidory (Russian) the love a air is over (literally, love is gone, the tomatoes have faded)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Once bitten, twice shy el gato escaldado del agua caliente huye (Spanish) the cat that has been scalded runs away from hot water
sütten ağizi yanan yoğurdu ü eyerek yer (Turkish) if hot milk burns your mouth, you’ll blow the yoghurt before you eat it brændt barn skyer ilden (Danish) a burned child is shy of re
puganaya vorona kusta/telezhnogo skripa/sobstvennoj teni/boitsya (Russian) a spooked crow is afraid of a bush/a carriage wheel’s squeak/its own shadow
mtafunwa na nyoka akiona unyasi hushtuka (Swahili) one who has been bitten by a snake startles at a reed
cão picado por cobra, tem medo de linguiça (Portuguese) a dog that has been bitten by a snake fears sausages
7. Family Ties žena se plaši prvog muža, a muž se plaši druge žene (Serbian) a wife is frightened of her rst husband;
a husband is frightened of his second wife Matchmaking
Until relatively recently in the West, open relationships of a premarital kind were not the norm. The Dutch described unmarried couples who lived together as hokken, literally, living in a pigsty together. In many other parts of the world such a set-up still wouldn’t even be considered. The aim of society is to get a man and woman up the aisle, round the re, or over the threshold:
gökyüzünde düğün var deseler, kadinlar merdiven kurmaya kalkar (Turkish proverb) if they say there is a wedding in the sky, women will try to put up a ladder
giftekniv (Norwegian) a person trying to get two people married
xem mat (Vietnamese) to see a candidate bride before deciding on the marriage
dulang (Manobo, Philippines) to arrange an auspicious marriage, especially between members of two opposing factions in order to bring about peace
sunkiya (Pali, India) the price paid for a wife
Objecting
Not that the young people in question always agree: tlatlavala (Tsonga, South Africa) to refuse to marry the person selected for one by the family kestë’shâétkë’ (Mingo, U SA) to object to a marriage
luyam (Manobo, Philippines) to hide one’s true intentions in order to throw someone o guard so that one’s real wishes can be carried out (for example, a girl who has resisted e orts to have her married then seems to change her mind so that she will not be watched, and she is thus able to run away)
Camel life
For women, at least, society could always hold the threat that they would end up alone: ntingitihomu (Tsonga, South Africa) a girl that nobody wishes to marry
momá’kó’éné (Cheyenne, U SA) having red eyes from crying because one’s boyfriend got married to someone else kurisumasu keiki (Japanese) leftover Christmas cake (traditionally applied to women over twenty- ve years old)
quedar(se) a (para) vestir santos (Latin American Spanish) to be left unmarried (literally, to be left to dress gures of saints)
radudaraifu (Japanese) single women who spend much of their weekends cooking food and deep-freezing it so that it can be reheated in a hurry when they return late from work (literally, camel life)
gattara (Italian) a woman, often old and lonely, who devotes herself to stray cats
Old hat
In France the expression for an unmarried woman was even backed up by a festival.
Coi er Sainte Catherine meant to remain single after the
age of twenty- ve (literally, to put a headdress on St Catherine). From the Middle Ages, St Catherine has traditionally been the patron saint of
young girls. On 25 November each year, girls would make beautiful headdresses to decorate statues of the saint. U nmarried women over twentyve would attend a dance, wearing hats that they had made specially for the occasion, while everyone around wished them a rapid end to their
spinsterhood.
Bare branches
However, since the implementation of the Chinese ‘one child’ policy things are changing in one part of the world at least: gagung (Cantonese) a man who has no woman because of the inequality of the gender ratio (literally, bare branches)
False friends chosen (Yiddish) bridegroom dig in (Armenian) wife fear (Irish) man
he (Hebrew) she
mama (Hindi) uncle
self (Egyptian Arabic) brother-in-law that (Vietnamese) wife
Stalker
Of course, in all societies there have always been determined suitors: baling (Manobo, Philippines) the action of an unmarried woman who, when she wants to marry a certain man, goes to his house and refuses to leave until the marriage is agreed upon
nusukaaktuat (Iñupiat, Inuit) grabbing a wife, ensuring marriage by capturing her
Regular footing
There are all kinds of reasons why people want to tie the knot: se ranger (French) to get married for domestic comfort and put life on a regular footing ikabaebae (Gilbertese, Oceania) to be engaged from childhood
damoz (Amharic, Ethiopia) a temporary marriage arrangement, usually for pay, between a man who is away on his travels and a woman who is his companion or cook
casar(se) con hombre en base (Latin American Spanish) to get married when you’re already pregnant
Wedding lists
Female relatives of the Swahili groom perform a ritual called
kupeka begi (send a bag) in which they bring to the bride gifts from her husband.
In response, the bride’s female relations perform kupeka mswaki (bring the chewsticks), whereby they deliver to the groom a tray of toiletries. This is particularly important because the bride and groom are forbidden to meet before marriage.
The bride wore black
In the Tsonga language of South Africa
qanda refers to the traditional bringing of an ox along with the bride as a symbol or guarantee of her
future progeny. The ox is then eaten by her new husband’s family. She is not allowed to see any part of it; if she does she should say, ‘They killed my child.’ If language is our evidence, this is by no means the weirdest wedding event in the world: trá-hôn (Vietnamese) to substitute another girl for the bride
faani n maanoo (Mandinka, West Africa) a bride wearing black (signifying that she had sex with her future husband before the ceremony) ii/fuya (Ndonga, Namibia) strips of meat from the wedding ox wound around the arm of the bridesmaid infar-cake (Scots) a cake broken over the bride’s head as she crosses the threshold of her new home
Apron strings
W ives come in all styles: ntshadi (Setswana, Botswana) a dear little wife
mon cinquante-pour-cent (French) wife (literally, my fty per cent)
sokozuma (Japanese) a woman who settles for a so-so marriage just to get it out of the way
minekokon (Japanese) a woman who gives up a high-powered job in the city for a dull life in the country with a quiet husband As do husbands: mandilon (Mexican Spanish) a hen-pecked, oppressed husband (from mandil meaning apron) stroin (Bengali) a married man who does everything and anything his wife says
tø elhelt (Norwegian) someone who has nothing to say in a marriage or at home (literally, slipper hero)
mariteddu tamant’è un ditu Ièddu voli essa rivaritu (Corsican proverb) a husband must be respected, even if he’s very short
Green hat
W e can only hope that neither of them has an urge to misbehave: piniscar la uva (Chilean Spanish) to seduce a woman who’s already taken (literally, to grab the grape)
fani ki hana (Malagasy, Madagascar) a charm for making another man’s wife disliked by her husband, or the husband by the wife dài lümào (Chinese) implies that someone’s wife is unfaithful (literally, wearing a green hat)
kentenga (Tsonga, South Africa) to nd oneself suddenly without some vital item (said of a man whose only wife has run away, or when the roof of a hut has blown o )
Recognized
Though sometimes such potentially destructive liaisons can be defused by being formalized: kutua-na (Yamana, Chile) to give the second wife the place of the rst in the wigwam cicisbeo (Italian) an acknowledged lover of a married woman
chandek (Malay) a recognized concubine of a prince (as distinct from gundek, an inferior wife, or jamah-jamahan, a casual mistress)
antis (Manobo, Philippines) a father’s action, after his daughter’s adultery, when he gives his son-in-law another daughter as a second wife
Three’s a crowd
In some societies, of course, monogamy doesn’t even exist as an ideal, throwing up a whole new set of complications: lefufa (Setswana, Botswana) the jealousy between the wives of one man
elungan (Manobo, Philippines) to divide one’s time equally between two wives who live in separate households
gintawan (Manobo, Philippines) the energy and industry of the rst wife (when her husband takes an additional wife) as a result of the competition from the second wife
allupaareik (Iñupiat, Inuit) the return of a woman after a wife exchange
Hope springs eternal
In these days of
rikonmiminenzo (Japanese), the divorce-promotion generation, things are never that simple in any case:
manàntom-bàdy (Malagasy, Madagascar) to put away a wife without divorcing her altogether gila talak (Malay) a husband or wife who are divorced yet wishing very much to reunite
ebpamituanen (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a divorced person who keeps their gure in the hope of a future marriage
china buta (Malay) the intermediate husband a divorced Muslim woman must have before remarriage to her original husband
On re ection
Workbox or housewife
V arious languages have words with surprising double meanings, creating some thought-provoking associations: mjall (Swedish) dandru or tender
varik (Buli, Ghana) castrated or huge and strong váram (Tamil) friendship or a week
dánamu (Telugu, India) a gift or elephant semen ola (Samoan) shing basket or life
panjitkori (Korean) workbox or housewife turba (Italian) crowd or trouble
toil (Mongolian) mirror or dictionary rooie (Dutch) carrots or ginger
saje (Hausa, Nigeria) side whiskers or a sergeant hege’ (Hebrew) steering wheel or murmur
Relative values
L et’s look on the bright side. Though often derided in our
ckle age, family life can bring many and varied bene ts:
agusto (Latin American Spanish) the cosiness felt when snuggling with a relative
onimagu (Yamana, Chile) to feel such pity as relatives do towards each other when hurt
ka-otaba (Gilbertese, Oceania) to preserve the beauty and freshness of a daughter-in-law
dyadya (Russian) a rich relative abroad, considered as a source of money (literally, an uncle)
bombela (Tsonga, South Africa) to make free with another’s belongings (especially with those of one’s maternal uncle)
Dirt on the nest
Although those who hold up the family as the answer to all things are probably sadly deluded: butika roko (Gilbertese, Oceania) a brother-in-law coming around too often kyodai-genka (Japanese) a ght or argument between siblings
kyodai-genka (Japanese) a ght or argument between siblings mātrigaāmī (Hindi) one who commits incest with his mother
Nestbeschmutzer (German) someone ruining the reputation of the family or community (literally, someone who puts dirt on the nest) rihorhabodo (Tsonga, South Africa) an irresponsible man who does not care for his family, but just roams around, generally in town wićawokha (Dakota, U SA) a man who lives with his wife’s relations (literally, a buried man)
bayram değil (seyran değil enişte beni niye öptü?) (Turkish proverb) there must be something behind this (literally, it’s not festival time, it’s not a pleasure trip, so why did my brother-in-law kiss me?)
Congo confusion
As every son-in-law knows, you’ve got to be very careful what you say about one particular family member. In the Lokele language of the Congo there is only a tonal di erence (shown by the capital letters) between aSOolaMBA boili, I’m watching the riverbank, and aSOoLAMBA boIli, I’m boiling my mother-in-law.
Auntie
In the Pakistani language of U rdu a woman is addressed in the following way: apa (or baji)
by her younger sisters or brothers
khala
by her sister’s children
mani (or momani)
by the children of her husband’s sisters
ch’ hachi
by the children of her husband’s younger brothers
ta’i
by the children of her husband’s elder brothers
p’ huppi
by the children of her brother
bahu
by her parents-in-law
nani
by the children of her daughters
dadi
by the children of her sons
bhabi
by her sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law
patiji
by her aunts and uncles
sas
by her daughter-in-law
nand
by her brother’s wife
sali
by the husband of her sister
Prodigal son
In Fiji, they observe the custom of
vasu which gives a son certain powers over his mother’s native place. He may take anything he covets from
the houses, tear down the fruit trees, and generally behave in such a way that if he were a stranger he would be clubbed to death.
Family tree
Of course, however much you try to escape the familial bond, there’s really no getting away from who you are and where you’re from: asal pagasal (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to trace family relationships among people newly acquainted with each other anestolt (Norwegian) proud of one’s ancestors progonoplexia (Greek) bragging about one’s ancestors kupu (Hawaiian) one whose ancestors were born where he himself was born
kacang lupakan kulit (Malay) a man who refuses to acknowledge his background and forgets his family or friends once he has made a fortune for himself
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Between the devil and the deep blue sea telan mati emak, luah mati bapa (Malay) if you swallow it your mother will die, if you throw it up your father will die estar entre a espada e a parede (Portuguese) to be between the sword and the wall tussen twee vuren staan (Dutch) to be between two res
byt mezhdu molotom i nakovalnyei (Russian) between hammer and anvil
wählen zwischen Hölle und Fegefeuer (German) to choose between hell and purgatory
se correr o bicho pega e se car o bicho (Portuguese) if you run, the animal will catch you, if you stay it will eat you eddyr daa stoyl ta toyn er laare (Manx, Isle of Man) between two stools your arse is on the oor
8. Kids
ogni scarafone è bello a mamma sua (Italian) every mother likes her own beetle
Pragmatic future
W hen it comes to the prospect of having children, the Japanese have brought the vocabulary
rmly into the twenty- rst century:
kondoumukeikaku the way in which some women over thirty- ve have unprotected sex with strangers to have children
nakayoshi ninpu (buddy pregnancy) describes the act of two women deliberately getting pregnant at the same time so that they can experience childbirth together (literally, pregnancy-now plan)
shoshika a future society without children
Warped
From the moment a woman conceives, a new life has begun – for the one in the womb, obviously, but also for the mother. French metaphors take particular notice of her di erence in appearance: she has tombée sur un clou rouillé , fallen on a rusty nail, and thus swollen; or, to put it another way, she has begun gondoler sur la devanture , to warp from the display window: ubháya-siras (Sanskrit) two-headed, a pregnant female
ajamonarse (Spanish) used to describe a pregnant woman’s increase in size (literally, to be like a ham) proglotit’ arbouz (Russian) to become pregnant (literally, to swallow a watermelon)
Longings
She starts to feel di
erently too:
dohada (Sanskrit) the longing of a pregnant woman for particular objects
afa-dratsiaina (Malagasy, Madagascar) the condition of a pregnant woman who has eaten what she had a great longing for
A mark of frustration
W hen a Maltese pregnant woman has a wish, one should try to satisfy her, or else the baby will be born with a large mole on its face; this is known as it-tebgħa tax-xewqa , the wish mark.
Paternity leave
In some African tribes the men will take to their beds for the entire duration of their wife’s pregnancy, while the women continue to work as usual until a few hours before giving birth. This is called couvade (from the French word meaning, literally, brooding or hatching). The men
believe that they are cleverer and stronger than women and so are better able to defend unborn children against evil spirits. Prone in his bed, the husband simulates the pains that the wife actually undergoes. Following the birth of the child, he keeps to his bed and receives all the attentions which in other societies are bestowed upon the mother. Variations of this behaviour have been seen in such diverse places as Papua New Guinea, Bolivia and the Basque districts of Northern Spain and South-West France.
Those who comes divided
The Fon people of Benin are particularly enthusiastic about twins. All twins are regarded as separate parts of a single being so their birth signals the arrival of mabassa, those who comes divided. They also believe that some babies may refuse to be born. Just before birth, the elder of a set of twins is said to peek out of the womb to survey the outside world. If it determines that the world is unsafe, it returns to the womb to report to its sibling. The twins may then refuse their delivery. If one twin dies, a small wooden image of the deceased must be carried by the mother and cared for at all times. All gifts to the survivor must be duplicated: one for the living twin and one for the dead. kœmœ (Chewa, South East Africa) the rstborn twin
embangurane (Kiga Nkore, Niger-Congo) twins of di erent sex
Breast water
Caring for a helpless baby has inspired some charming words around the world: komvya (Mambwe, Zambia) to feed a child with one’s nger
namaonga (Gilbertese, Oceania) to taste a little portion and chew it for a baby
ukkun (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) an expression of fondness used to infants when breastfeeding
anoka (Malagasy, Madagascar) the perfect contentment in sucking or drinking (used primarily of children or the young of animals at the breast)
ngibá (Tagalog, Philippines) a baby’s tendency to cry when held by a stranger
We will rock you
In Southern Africa they certainly have ways and means of keeping a baby quiet: kolopeka (Mambwe, Zambia) to appease a child, stop him from crying by amusing him
vundzata (Tsonga, South Africa) to turn a child’s head sideways when on its mother’s back or when put to sleep pakatika (Mambwe, Zambia) to place one’s own child on the lap of a companion
khan’wetela (Tsonga, South Africa) to rock a child to sleep on one’s back by nudging with the elbows
halalata (Tsonga, South Africa) to throw a baby up into the air, at a ceremony of the rst new moon after its birth wo-mba (Bakweri, Cameroon) the smiling in sleep by children
Babygrow
All too soon the little creature wants to go its own way: abula (Setswana, Botswana) the attempt of a baby to move when lying on its belly
toto-toto (Setswana, Botswana) a term of endearment to encourage a baby to stand or walk
a’matiti (Rotuman, South Paci c) to accustom a baby to cooler temperatures by taking it on a walk in the early morning dede (Swahili) to stand uncertainly, as a child just beginning to walk stands when not held sparkedragt (Danish) a pair of rompers (literally, kicking suit)
kopisata (Yamana, Chile) to get thin, like a fat baby when it gets older
Draggling
Despite its best intentions, it’s still a long way from being independent: ma-ma (Car, Nicobar Islands) ‘father’, ‘daddy’, the child’s cry for its father
po-po (Car, Nicobar Islands) ‘mother’, ‘mummy’, the child’s cry for its mother
upuss-eata (Yamana, Chile) to draggle after one, as a child, a long line or anything tied to a string pobi (Buli, Ghana) to wrap or to tie a child on one’s back
n-velekula (Kerewe, Tanzania) to swing a child round from the back to hip, preparatory to putting it down or feeding it
A desk job
In Malta, the baby’s
rst year is regarded as dangerous, so the rst birthday – Il-Quccija – is a happy event. On this day the child’s future is
suggested when a tray of small objects is carried in and placed on the oor. The baby is then put down and allowed to crawl in any direction it wants. What it picks up from the tray signi es its future. The traditional objects include an egg (bajda) for an abundance of happiness, a pen (pinna) for a desk job, some coins ( muniti) for wealth, a ball ( ballun) for sport, rosary beads ( kuruna) for the church, scissors ( mqass) for
tailoring, a book (ktieb) for a lawyer, a hammer ( martell) for a carpenter, and these days other items such as a stethoscope (for a doctor) or a CD (for a disc jockey).
Mother love
As the Nigerian saying goes,
nwanyi umu iri o dighi ihe mere nabali o naghi ama , when a woman has ten children there is nothing that happens
in the night that she does not know about: wahdećapi (Dakota, U SA) the sympathy that is said to exist between a mother and her absent children, producing peculiar sensations in the breast
songkom (Malay) to bury the face in a mother’s lap (as a child)
xilandzalandza (Tsonga, South Africa) a child constantly staying close to its mother
Cuckoo
W ith all this vulnerability at stake, one can only pray for decent parents … kukushka (Russian) a mother who gives up her child to be raised by others (literally, a cuckoo) kaelling (Danish) a woman yelling obscenities at her kids
Kinderfeindlichkeit (German) an intense dislike or disregard of children
False friends taxi (Greek) classroom
Gymnasium (German) grammar school, high school son (Vietnamese) to be still childless
Daughter in a box … but not to the point where they overdo it: onba-higasa (Japanese) a wealthy family’s pampered child (literally, wet nurse and parasol)
curlingforeldre (Danish) parents who do anything to sweep the road of life ahead of their children to ensure that it is free of obstacles (literally, curling parents)
(literally, curling parents)
hakoiri-musume (Japanese) a young woman who has always been protected from the harsh realities of life by doting parents (literally, daughter in a box)
ser or de estufa (Spanish) overprotected, not allowed to become independent (literally, to be a hothouse ower)
Impossible child
‘The child who is one night old,’ say the Arabs, ‘has already learned to annoy its parents.’ It doesn’t stop there: lundaezi (Lozi, Niger-Congo) to walk in the manner of a disrespectful angry child
riu’ (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) rushing about and getting in the way (especially of children)
upuk’anaana (Yamana, Chile) to throw away anything cooked, as a naughty child might throw away a sh its mother gave it to eat bunget (Manobo, Philippines) as a child, to want something one can’t have, get angry and then refuse it when it is nally o ered
Dolls’ house
Distractions must be found; and the Yamana speakers of Chile have several delightfully speci
c words to describe the making of toys for children
and how they play with them: tukau-iyana to put a foot or feet on a doll or a picture of one
utellana to make or put eyes in the head of a gure one carves or draws
tumusgaia to put down with the face upwards, as with some dolls on a table kaiyena-na to play quietly, as a little child with a toy manax-soatekana to play with someone else’s toys
Junken a munken
But who needs toys when kids are so delightfully inventive anyway? goagoana (Setswana, Botswana) to shout at each other in play chottu (Tamil) a slap on the head with both hands in play
ha-lo-po (Car, Nicobar Islands) to have practical jokes played on one
junken a munken, a sucka sucka po, wailuku wailuku, bum bum show (Hawaiian Pidgin) a kids’ way of deciding who goes rst: eeny meeny miney mo
Cheese head
The years race by; things seem to change so fast: propanach (Gaelic) a well-built boy, beginning to run about
botshegangangatswane (Setswana, Botswana) little boys when still at a stage when they are unabashed by their nakedness kaaskop (Dutch) a very blond, rosy-cheeked child (literally, cheese head) timtum (Yiddish) a beardless youth with a high-pitched voice
On re ection
My sister’s toenails look like my grandfather’s
From ‘Around the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran’ to ‘red leather, yellow leather’, a key part of learning a language is being able to master its tongue-twisters. They are always decidedly odd sentences. One French example featuring the s sound focuses on food: Combien de sous sont ces saucissons-ci? Ces saucis-sons-ci sont six sous (How much are these sausages here? These sausages here are six cents.)
While a German tongue-twister that o ers a lot of practice in the pronunciation of sch portrays a rather dangerous situation: Zwei schwartze schleimige Schlangen sitzen zwischen zwei spitzigen Steinen und zischen (Two black slimy snakes sit between two pointed stones and hiss.)
Other favourites include: Kuku kaki kakak kakak ku kayak kuku kaki kakek kakek ku (Indonesian) My sister’s toenails look like my grandfather’s. Méla babka v kapse brabce, brabec babce v kapse píp. Zmáčkla babka brabce v kapse, brabec babce v kapse chcíp (Czech) Grandma had a sparrow in her pocket and the sparrow made a sound. Grandma pressed the sparrow and it died.
Als vliegen achter vliegen vliegen, vliegen vliegen vliegensvlug (Dutch) If ies y behind ies, ies will y like lightning. Król Karol kupil Królowej Karolinie korale koloru koralowego (Polish) King Karl bought Queen Caroline a coral-coloured bead. Saya sebal sama situ sebab situ suka senyum-senyum sama suami saya saya sehingga sekarang suami saya suka senyum-senyum sendiri
sembari sama (Indonesian) I hate you because you used to smile at my husband; now he likes to smile for no obvious reason when he is with me.
Far, får får får? Nej, inte får får får, får får lamm (Swedish) Father, do sheep have sheep? No, sheep don’t have sheep, sheep have lambs. Kan-jang-kong-jang kong-jang-jang-eun kang kong-jang-jang-ee-go, dwen-jang-kong-jang kong-jang-jang-eun kong kong-jang-jang-ee-da (Korean) The president of the soy-sauce factory is president Kang and the president of the bean-paste factory is president Kong.
Learning curve
Soon enough it’s time to start getting to grips with the ways and means of the adult world … kinder-vraag (Dutch) a childish question
ABC-Schuetze (German) a pupil in the rst year of school (literally, ABC shooter) skolplikt (Swedish) compulsory school attendance
managòana (Malagasy, Madagascar) to go over a list of names to see if all are there ageographetos (Greek) useless at geography
katapádama (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a lesson committed to memory
chongak (Malay) to raise the head and the chin or to do mental arithmetic in class daoshu (Chinese) to count backwards
sonkkopta (Korean) to count on one’s ngers
mushtiya (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a st, a closed hand (also applied to the behaviour of a teacher who withholds some knowledge from his pupils through fear that they may surpass him)
Target practice … with all the unpleasant ordeals that that entails:
quemarse las pestanas (cejas) (Spanish) to study hard (literally, to burn one’s eyelashes (eyebrows) nochnoe (Russian) late-night studying, as before exams
acordeón (Mexican Spanish) a crib sheet used to cheat in a test or exam (literally, an accordion) ponchar (Cuban Spanish) to fail an exam (literally, to get a at tyre)
vo chuoi (Vietnamese) to fail an exam (literally, to slip on a banana skin) kvarsittare (Swedish) a pupil who has not been moved up
suberidome (Japanese) a school one applies to in case one isn’t accepted elsewhere (literally, skid stopper)
Hanging out
W hat every parent fears is
slynaldern (Swedish), the awkward age, when their once innocent and biddable child starts rebelling against their
authority: kutu embun (Malay) on the streets constantly; young people who roam the streets at night
hangjongeren* (Dutch) groups of teenagers with nothing to do but hang around in groups, making strange grunting noises at passers-by (literally, hanging youth)
katoro buaka (Gilbertese, Oceania) neglectful of one’s parents or grandparents
Filial
The good parent can only hope that all their love and hard work is reciprocated: matteyyatā (Pali, India) lial love towards one’s mother
tindi (Tsonga, South Africa) to express joy at seeing one’s parents (of children) chengqi (Chinese) to grow up to be a useful person
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Like father like son kakov pop takov i prikhod (Russian) like priest like church
æblet falder ikke langt fra stamen (Danish) the apple doesn’t fall far from the trunk ibn al bat ’awwam (Arabic) the son of a duck is a oater
lho de peixe sabe nadar (Portuguese) a sh’s child knows how to swim
de tal palo tal astilla (Spanish) from such stick comes such splinter
hijo de tigre sale rayado (Central American Spanish) the son of the tiger turns out striped
barewa tayi gudu danta ya yi rarrafe? (Hausa, Nigeria) how can the o spring of a gazelle crawl when its mother is a fast runner?
9. Body Beautiful
kozla boysya speredi, konya – szadi, a likhogo cheloveka – so vsekh storon (Russian)
beware of the goat from its front side, of the horse – from its back side, and the evil man – from any side Mugshot
Our face is our fortune, they say, but some are undeniably more fortunate than others: chimmurui no kao (Japanese) a face that would stop a clock kwabbig (Dutch) abby pendulous cheeks
oriiti (Anywa, Nilo-Saharan) wrinkles on the forehead papada (Spanish) a double chin
boirg (Gaelic) a small screwed-up mouth
busachd (Gaelic) the deformity of blubber-lips
bemandromba (Malagasy, Madagascar) having a large and ill-looking head
avoir un oeil qui joue au billard et l’autre qui compte les points (French) said of someone who is cross-eyed (literally, to have one eye that’s playing billiards while the other is o counting the points)
False friends ache (Bashgali, India) eye int (Swedish) bald head
glad (Dutch) smooth, sleek groin (French) snout
honk (Armenian) eyebrow mute (Latvian) mouth pea (Estonian) head
pong (Khowar, Pakistan) foot
Gobstruck
Of course it’s all too easy to spoil the appearance of what we’ve been given … vaaye-nokke (Malayalam) to stare at somebody with your mouth open (literally, mouth-see) gaillseach (Gaelic) a large mouthful which makes the cheeks bulge out … especially if we’re putting it to good use: kecomak-kecamik (Indonesian) to move the mouth around when eating something or saying a prayer fújtat (Hungarian) to pant, pu and blow
menggonggong (Malay) to carry something in your mouth
menggonggong (Malay) to carry something in your mouth
ayapsun (Dakota, U SA) to pull something out by the roots using the mouth
raspakhivat’ varezhky (Russian) to drop one’s jaw in surprise or amazement (literally, to open someone’s mitten)
Lippy
W ith the
eshiest part of that useful opening, emotion can easily get the better of appearance:
maiskuttaa (Finnish) to smack one’s lips
bibidia (Swahili) to thrust out and turn down the lower lip as a sign of derision or contempt
Tsk tsk
In many parts of the world, the tongue is not used just for speaking or eating: tam-tac (Vietnamese) to smack the tongue as a sign of admiration
mitimiti (Rapa Nui, Easter Island) to click one’s tongue as a sign of disagreement or of annoyance (tsk, tsk) auau (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to stick the tongue out
lamz (Persian) rolling the tongue about the mouth to pick the teeth
imel-es (Ik, Nilo-Saharan) to move the tongue in and out like a snake
Trouble gum
Americans talk disparagingly of ‘English teeth’, but England is not the only country in the world where dental radiance could be improved: kasyápa (Sanskrit) having black teeth
kadadat (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) possessing only half of your original teeth wahdatepa (Dakota, U SA) to wear one’s own teeth short
si gwa pau (Cantonese) someone with buck teeth (literally, watermelon shoveller)
Smiling, squirting, stripping
The Italians say, ‘Teeth placed before the tongue give good advice’; and whatever your gnashers look like, you can always put them to good use: gigil (Tagalog, Philippines) the gritting of the teeth when controlling emotion n’wayin’wayi (Tsonga, South Africa) to smile showing the teeth
ntseka (Tsonga, South Africa) to squirt forcibly through the teeth
ki’it (Manobo, Philippines) to bite o something with the front teeth (as when eating corn on the cob) yigul-a (Yamana, Chile) to pull out stitches with the teeth
eeti (Rapanui, Easter Island) to strip o bark or hard skin with the teeth
dona (Yamana, Chile) to take out lice from a person’s head and squash them between one’s teeth dentilegus (Latin) one who picks up his teeth after they have been knocked out
Long teeth
W hen the French talk of aiming for the impossible, they say they are trying to
prendre la lune avec les dents , literally, to seize the moon with
one’s teeth; to be very ambitious, likewise, is avoir les dents qui rayent le parquet , to have teeth that scratch the oor. For the Finns, to do
something unwillingly is pitkin hampain , with long teeth; while for the Spanish, andar con el diente largo , walking around with long teeth, means to be very hungry.
Copping an eyeful
‘The eyes are the mirror of the soul,’ say the Japanese, echoing an English saying. But often it’s the more mundane aspects of these organs that people worry about: xitsavatsava (Tsonga, South Africa) the involuntary twitching of an eyelid or eyebrow bitlisisa (Setswana, Botswana) a sore eye that has been rubbed
kuseng (Manobo, Philippines) to rub one’s eyes with the back of the hand rabun ayam (Malay) poor eyesight, especially during sunset
Bewitching
As with the teeth, our peepers are at their best when they’re put to use: gwilgat (Breton, France) to watch from the corner of one’s eye langut (Malay) to look upwards longingly
pangangalumbabà (Tagalog, Philippines) a pensive look (with the head supported by the palm) ingikaranawá (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) to wink signi cantly
vekaveka (Luvale, Zambia) the shiftiness of eyes, looking here and there with madness or evil intent temuna (Luvale, Zambia) to pull down an eyelid in mockery
embila (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to pretend to be cross-eyed
Cyrano
The French say that ‘a big nose never spoiled a handsome face’, a charitable judgement, perhaps in
uenced by the many ne probosci to be
found in that country. But others have more serious problems than mere size: khuranásá (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) one having a nose like a horse’s hoof tapíl (Tagalog, Philippines) at-nosed
bapp-nose (Scots) a nose threatening to meet the chin
ngongò (Tagalog, Philippines) one who talks with a twang due to a nasal disorder patināsikā (Pali, India) a false nose
Lughole
Big or small,
at or sticky-out, our nal external organs on the head are also closely observed by our worldwide languages:
anak telinga (Malay) the external gristly portion of the ear
budálu (Telugu, India) the place where the top of the ear meets the head ukkanna (Pali, India) having the ears erect
n’wii (Tsonga, South Africa) to have buzzing in the ears, as when under water
parece Volkswagen con las puertas abiertas (Latin American Spanish) big-eared (literally, he looks like a Volkswagen with the doors open)
Grass belong head
In the Tok Pisin language of Papua New Guinea, they call hair in all the wrong places:
gras bilong het . Such grass may take di erent forms, quite apart from appearing
kesuir (Malay) hairy nostrils
gejigeji-mayuge (Japanese) bushy eyebrows (literally, centipede eyebrows)
giri-giri (Hawaiian Pidgin) the place where two or three hairs stick up no matter what
mas (Hindi) soft hair appearing above a lad’s upper lip, heralding the imminent advent of youth kapúcchala (Sanskrit) a tuft of hair on the hind part of the head (hanging down like a tail) pédevádu (Telugu, India) a man upon whose face hair does not grow
Octopus monk
For many men age brings a related and inescapable problem: katok (Russian) a bald patch (literally, a skating rink)
baakoodo hage (Japanese) said of a man with receding hair who combs what remains at the sides over the top of his head (literally, barcode bald, due to how it looks viewed from above)
hlohlwe (Tsonga, South Africa) a forehead with corners devoid of hair (applied to a person whose hair is receding) tako-nyudo (Japanese) a baldy (literally, octopus monk)
Oeuf-tête
The French, in particular, have a
ne range of expressions for this challenging condition:
avoir le melon déplumé to have a plucked melon avoir une boule de billard to have a billiard ball
ne plus avoir de cresson sur la cafetière no longer to have watercress on the co eepot ne plus avoir de gazon sur la platebande no longer to have a lawn on the owerbed
avoir la casquette en peau de fesses to have a cap made out of buck skin être chauve comme un genou to be as bald as a knee
avoir un vélodrome à mouches to have a velodrome for ies
Well-armed
W e have upper and lower arms and elbows, but the Swedes have a word for the opposite side of the arm from the elbow – useful words stress the practical uses of these appendages: kwapatira (Chichewa, Malawi) to carry something tucked under the arm cholat (Malay) to dig with the elbow or the hand
athevotho (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to swing the arms, wave or clear away smoke
On re ection
Japanese birthdays
armveck. Other
In the West, the birthdays that are particularly celebrated are those of coming of age: 18 and 21. In Japan, the older you get the more solemnly your birthday (sanga) is celebrated. The birthdays of especial importance are: 40: shoro, the beginning of old age, since Confucius said: ‘When I was forty I did not wander.’
61: kanreki, the completion of the sixty-year cycle; the celebrant wears a red cap and a red kimono and is congratulated by everybody for having become ‘a newborn baby once more’
70: koki, rare age, so called because the poet Tu Fu said that it was a privilege for a person to reach the age of seventy 77: kiju, long and happy life 88: beiju, the rice birthday
These last two birthdays gain their names from the similarity of the Japanese ideograms for ‘joy’ and ‘rice’ to those for the numbers 77 and 88 respectively.
Handy
In the Tsonga language of South Africa they have the expressive word
vunyiriri, the sti ness of hands and feet felt on cold wintry mornings;
while the Telugu language of India describes kamikili, the hand held with ngers bent and separated. However they’re positioned, their uses are manifold:
apphoteti (Pali, India) to clap the hands as a sign of pleasure
aupiupiu (Mailu, Papua New Guinea) to ick an insect o the body ka-cha-to-re (Car, Nicobar Islands) to hang down by one’s hands
duiri (Buli, Ghana) to pass one’s hands over skin so that the hairs stand up pamamaywáng (Tagalog, Philippines) placing the hands on one’s hips geu (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to thrust one’s hand into a bag And two are even better than one: raup (Malay) to scoop up with both hands
anjali (Hindi) the cup-shaped hollow formed by joining the two palms together chal (Car, Nicobar Islands) to lift up something heavy using both hands
kaf faksara (Rotuman, South Paci c) to clap the hands with one nger bent inwards to make a hollow sound
Digital
‘W ithout
ngers,’ say the Moroccans, ‘the hand would be a spoon.’ And where indeed would we be without our essential digits?
gamaza (Arabic) to take with the ngertips
gutól (Tagalog, Philippines) snipping with the ngernails
menonjolkan (Malay) to push one’s ngers into someone’s face
tstumi-oidagana (Yamana, Chile) to o er one’s nger or any part of oneself to be bitten
sena (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) the time that elapses while snapping the thumb and fore nger ten times
Doigt de seigneur
In French, starting from the one nearest the thumb, you have
index; majeur – biggest nger; annulaire – ring nger; and, last but not least,
auriculaire – literally, the ear nger, because it’s the only one small enough to stick in your ear. But if your digits don’t stop there, you have to go to the Luvale language of Zambia for the sambwilo, the sixth nger or toe.
Expansive
In the Malay language, they use the space between the
ngers for a series of useful measurements:
jengkal the span between thumb and nger
jengkul the span between thumb and index nger
telunjok the span between thumb and the joint of the bent index nger ketengkeng the span between thumb and little nger
Classi ed
Further down the body, one reaches those parts generally described as private. In Southern Africa, they appear to have thought more than most about keeping it that way: phindzela (Tsonga, South Africa) to cover one’s private parts carefully
tswi (Tsonga, South Africa) to expose one’s private parts by bending forward ikokomela (Setswana, Botswana) to look at one’s own private parts
Peppers and Parasols
The Japanese have a memorable vocabulary to describe their (male) genitalia: imo a potato, a penis that is short and fat
tō garashi a red pepper, a penis that is small and pink gobō a burdock, a penis that is large and tubular kenke small, tight testicles (literally pickles)
karakasa a paper parasol, a penis that is unusually top-heavy
Map of the world
French slang uses even more elaborate metaphors. A penis is either
une anguille de calecif , an underwear eel, or un cigare à moustache , a cigar
with a moustache. In similarly fanciful fashion, breasts are described as une mappemonde, literally, a map of the world (spread across two hemispheres).
Bum deal
Round the back, it seems, we are free to be frank, especially in East Africa and the Philippines: shuri (Swahili) a person whose buttocks stick out more than those of the average person tuwad (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to make one’s buttocks project
egkisu-kisu (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to move the buttocks little by little
egkisu-kisu (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to move the buttocks little by little
pinginyika (Swahili) to move the buttocks with a circular motion when walking or dancing
Milk bottles
W hen it comes to the legs, English has no word to describe the back of the knee. Irish Gaelic calls it the
ioscaid, the Swedes knäveck, while the
Native American Dakota language calls it hunyoka-khmin. Other languages are similarly descriptive about both the appearance and the movement of our lower half:
euischios (Ancient Greek) with beautiful hips
melk essen (Dutch) bare legs which have not been suntanned (literally, milk bottles) kerchiholl (Albanian) having thin lower legs
anyula (Tsonga, South Africa) to open one’s legs indecently
hiza ga warau (Japanese) the wobbly feeling you have in your legs after dashing up several ights of stairs (literally, my knees are laughing)
Thin as a rake
W hen it comes to the whole package, there are di
erences of opinion about how substantial you should be. In general, the modern world
applauds the skinny, even as our languages hark back to a less prosperous age in their comparisons: ser magro como um palito (Portuguese) to be as thin as a toothpick zo mager als een lat zijn (Dutch) to be as thin as a wooden latch po ru zhu (Mandarin) thin as paper
aco como un güin (Cuban Spanish) thin as a sugar-cane ower
kostur slab (Macedonian) thin as a skeleton loksh (Yiddish) a noodle, a tall thin person
Bacon buoy
W hile fatties come in for all kinds of criticism: vuthikithiki (Tsonga, South Africa) body fat which shakes at every step
juyaku-bara (Japanese) a paunch (literally, company director’s stomach)
tivili (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a person with three dents in his belly (from fatness) foca (Spanish) a very fat woman (literally, a seal) yongzhong (Chinese) too fat and clumsy to move
gordo como una buoya (Cuban Spanish) fat as a buoy
abspecken (German) losing weight (literally, de-baconing)
fai prima a saltargli sopra che girargli intorno (Italian) it’s faster to jump over him than go round him (because he’s so fat)
Illusory
Not, of course, that you can always judge from appearances: Sitzriese (German) someone who is actually quite short but looks tall when they’re sitting down (literally, sitting giant) edtiudan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to pretend to be lame
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear rozhdennyj polzat letat ne mozhet (Russian) if you’re born to crawl you can’t y
on ne peut faire d’une buse un épervier (French) you can’t turn a buzzard into a sparrowhawk
on ne peut faire d’une buse un épervier (French) you can’t turn a buzzard into a sparrowhawk
al draagt een aap een gouden ring, het is en blijft een lelijk ding (Dutch) even if the monkey wears a golden ring it remains ugly fare le nozze con i chi secchi (Italian) to celebrate a wedding with dried gs
10. Dressed to Kill
siku utakayokwenda uchi ndiyo siku utakayokutana na mkweo (Swahili)
the day you decide to leave your house naked is the day you run into your in-laws A memorable smile
W hatever Nature has provided you with, you always have the chance to make your own improvements: sulong (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) to decorate the front teeth with gold (formerly brass) nyin-susu (Bambara, West Africa) to blacken someone’s gums for cosmetic purposes pen bilong maus (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) lipstick
False friends Rock (German) skirt
veste (French) jacket
romp (Afrikaans) skirt
cilinder (Hungarian) top hat
gulp (Dutch) y (in trousers)
Hairdressed to kill
And hair is one very obvious place for the drastic makeover: rikuruto-katto (Japanese) a short haircut supposed to impress prospective employers (literally, recruit cut) wu-masweeswe (Kalanga, Botswana) shaving the hair in a sinuous outline across the forehead
emperifollado(a) (Latin American Spanish) dressed to kill, particularly when it involves a complicated hairdo
Topfschnitt (German) a certain haircut that looks a bit as if the hairdresser put a saucepan on someone’s head and cut all around it (literally, saucepan cut)
Frigate
Make sure not to overdo it: cerone (Italian) excessive make-up applied on one’s face (literally, grease paint) itoyewaton (Dakota, U SA) to wear anything that makes one look frightful
age-otori (Japanese) formally styling one’s hair for a coming-of-age ceremony, but looking worse than before Verschlimmerung (German) an improvement for the worse
die Fregatte (German) a heavily made-up old woman (literally, frigate)
yubisakibijin (Japanese) a woman who spends a lot of her salary tending to her ngernails
On re ection
Ugly beautiful
Though there are hundreds of poetic English words for di
erent beautiful colours, there are very few for those at the less pleasant end of
the spectrum. The Ojibway of North America say osawegisan, which means making something yellow with smoke, nicotine-stained. The
Pali of India have a word for the bluish-black colour of a corpse – vinilaka – which literally means resembling neither father nor mother. The Amerindian Mingo words for the basic colours are just as evocative: uiskwanyë’ta’ê’ the colour of rotten wood (brown)
unöwö’ta’ê’ the colour of limestone or plaster (white) uyë’kwææ’ê’ the colour of smoke (grey) tsitkwææ’ê’ the colour of bile (yellow)
Berlin backsides
Just because you can’t see your own backside doesn’t mean that others can’t. The Germans certainly notice these things: Arschgeweih a large symmetrical tattoo on the lower back, just above the bottom, resembling the shape of antlers Liebestoeter unattractive underwear (literally, love killer)
Maurerdekoltee a bricklayer’s cleavage (the part of a man’s backside you can see when he stoops deeply and his trouser waistband goes down a little bit)
Sails set
All over the world, people enjoy escaping from their intractable shape in a
ne out t:
kambabalegkasan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) the act of wearing new clothes sich auftakeln (German) to get all dolled up (literally, with all sails set) housunprässit (Finnish) trouser creases
(Argentinian Spanish) a fashion-conscious man, dandy
kopezya (Mambwe, Zambia) tipping his hat down over his eyes
pagalong (Maranao, Philippines) to look at oneself in the mirror
Kangaroo teeth
Though what works in one place won’t necessarily work in another: nastā (Hindi) a hole bored in the septum of the nose wo-kûs’-i-ûk (Maliseet, Canada) a necklace of claws kechchai (Tamil) little tinkling bells tied to the legs
kechchai (Tamil) little tinkling bells tied to the legs
wowoodteyadla (Kaurna Warra, Australia) two or four kangaroo teeth bound together with hair and covered with grease and red ochre, worn on the forehead by fully initiated men
okpukpu (Igbo, Nigeria) an ivory bangle worn by women with ten or more children, and sometimes by men to demonstrate their proven expertise
borsello (Italian) a man’s handbag
Hand-me-downs
‘Those who have
ne clothes in their chests can wear rags,’ say the Italians, but in other parts of the world it’s not always true that the higher
up you are in society the more likely you are to dress down: s chuzhovo plecha (Russian) second-hand clothes (literally, from a stranger’s shoulder) kamaeieia (Gilbertese, Oceania) to wear a garment until it is in tatters xúng xính (Vietnamese) to be dressed in oversized clothes
mabelebele (Setswana, Botswana) the rags and tatters worn by a madman, a pauper or a traditional doctor
Designer knitwear
The two extremes of women’s intense relationship with clothes are chronicled by the Japanese. At one end there is
nitto-onna, a woman so
dedicated to her career that she has no time to iron blouses and so resorts to dressing only in knitted tops; and at the other there are ippaiyoku, women whose every garment and accessory are made by the same designer.
Fashionista
Most try to keep up with what everyone else is wearing, but there will always be some, thankfully, who remain gloriously independent: cowichan (British Columbia, Canada) a vividly patterned sweater buddi (Tamil) someone who wears thick glasses
lambung (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to wear very big clothes
agadagba (Igbo, Nigeria) men’s underpants woven from a mix of cotton, grass and tree bark
arse gras (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a bunch of tanket leaves stuck into a belt to cover a man’s backside
So village
For as long as clothes have been around, people have sneered or laughed at what others have chosen to wear: topeewalla (Hindi) one who wears a hat, generally a European
kampungan (Indonesian) someone who is incredibly out of fashion, outdated (literally, so village)
kampungan (Indonesian) someone who is incredibly out of fashion, outdated (literally, so village) hemdsärmelig (German) someone who behaves very rustically (literally, shirt-sleeved) ta-oiny (Car, Nicobar Islands) clothes-wearing foreigners
samopal (Russian) home-made clothing sold under commercial labels (literally, a home-made cap gun)
Clodhoppers
Though hopefully not what they put on their feet: gállot (Sami, North Scandinavia) a shoe made out of hide taken from the head of a reindeer ttocks (Scots) the feet of stockings cut o and worn as shoes
kirza (Russian) imitation leather boots innesko (Swedish) an indoor shoe
jorg (Scots) the noise of shoes when full of water
Barely there
But then again isn’t one of the most enjoyable things about dressing up coming home and stripping o huhu (Rapanui, Easter Island) to take o one’s clothes in one go, with a pull byambula (Tsonga, South Africa) to walk in the open completely naked Just make sure that when you get dressed again there’s no confusion … vrenge (Norwegian) the action of putting right clothes which are inside out lopodutes (Ancient Greek) one who slips into another’s clothes
terchausser (Gallo, France) to put the right foot into the left boot and vice versa embasan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to wear clothes while taking a bath
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
?
Don’t judge a book by its cover ngam tae rup, jub mai horm (Thai) great looks but bad breath
l’abito non fa il monaco (Italian) clothes do not make the monk
quem vê caras não vê corações (Portuguese) he who sees face doesn’t see heart odijelo ne čini čovjeka (Croatian) a suit doesn’t make a man
het zijn niet alleen koks die lange messen dragen (Dutch) it’s not only cooks who carry long knives
11. Stretching Your Legs
zemheride yoğurt isteyen, cebinde bir inek taşir (Turkish)
he who wants yoghurt in winter must carry a cow in his pocket
Travel broadens the mind, they say. But in these days of mass tourism and carbon footprints there’s a lot to be said for staying exactly where you are: dlanyaa (Tsonga, South Africa) to lie on one’s back with one’s legs apart, gorged with food
lezarder (French) to lie around basking in the sun like a lizard
bafalala (Tsonga, South Africa) to lie face down in the sun, to lie asprawl in the open naptakhpaya (Dakota, U SA) to lie on one’s belly and rest on one’s arms
ngumulo (Tagalog, Philippines) to put both hands under the head when lying down kagwia (Yamana, Chile) to go upstairs and lie down
Presiding
Not that you have to remain entirely supine to relax: sumernichat (Russian) to sit outside in the evening doing nothing seranggong (Malay) to sit with one’s elbows on the table
kem-lo-re (Car, Nicobar Islands) to sit on someone’s knee
upa-nishád (Sanskrit) sitting down at the feet of another to listen to his words mâhove’êsee’e (Cheyenne, U SA) to have a tired bottom from sitting
babaran-on (Ik, Nilo-Saharan) to sit in a group of people warming up in the early morning sun
On re ection
Go to hell
‘See Naples and die’ we’re all told, but what do you do after you’ve visited these admirably named places? Ecce Homo, Switzerland Egg, Austria
Egg, Austria
Hell, Norway
No Guts Captain , Pitcairn Island Saddam Hussein, Sri Lanka Sexmoan, Philippines Silly, Belgium
Starbuck Island, Polynesia Wedding, Germany
Enviable
The Yamana people of Chile have clearly had plenty of time to think about the many permutations of sitting:
utapanus-mutu is to sit by the side
of a person but not close to him; usata-ponur mutu is to turn round and sit facing someone; mumbu-moni is to sit holding anything between one’s lips; while kupas-aiiua-mutu is to sit envying a person.
Upright
If you get to your feet it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re on the move: pratyutthā n (Hindi) rising from a seat as a mark of respect
hó’kôhtôheóó’e (Cheyenne, U SA) to stand leaning on a cane suka-a.-moni (Yamana, Chile) to stand dreaming
hangama (Tsonga, South Africa) to stand with one’s feet wide apart (like a man taking up all the space before a re) távoeóó’e (Cheyenne, U SA) to stand looking goofy
Pedestrian
But once you’ve put one foot in front of the other there’s really no going back: semeioton (Greek) walking on the spot
diváviharana (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) walking about in the day time
hanyauka (Rukwangali, Namibia) to walk on tiptoe on warm sand ha shtatin (Albanian) to walk backwards in a bowed position
Tip-tip-toe
Although this simple action comes in many di
erent styles:
vukurukuru (Tsonga, South Africa) the noisy walk of a person in a bad temper
endal (Malay) to walk with the head and shoulders held back and the breast and stomach thrust forward
bikrang (Bikol, Philippines) to walk with the legs apart as if there was some injury to the area of the crotch onya (Setswana, Botswana) to walk at a slow pace nodding one’s head lonjak (Malay) to walk a ectedly on tiptoe
vydelyvat krendelya (Russian) to stagger, to walk crookedly (literally, to do the pretzel) uluka (Mambwe, Zambia) a person who walks as if he were carried by the wind
The trees are blazed
Be sure you know where you’re going… gembelengan (Indonesian) moving around without any certain direction
sakgasakgile (Setswana, Botswana) to wander about like a homeless orphan
… that the way ahead is clear: jimbulwila (Luvale, Zambia) to walk in an unknown place, where there is no clear path tlhotlhomela (Tsonga, South Africa) to wriggle one’s way through thick bush … that you’ve decided whether to cover your tracks: kodhola (Oshindonga, Namibia) to leave marks in the sand when walking
kikinawadakwaidade (Ojibway, North America) marks on the trees for the traveller to nd the trail through the wood (literally, the trees are blazed)
tuuna-gamata (Yamana, Chile) to walk over where others have walked before and thus make the tracks indistinct … and that the conditions are suitable: hanmani (Dakota, U SA) to walk in the night
tidiwitidiwi (Kerewe, Tanzania) dragging one’s steps through sand or mud pfumbura (Shona, Zimbabwe) to walk raising dust splerg (Scots) to walk splashing in mud
shatoka (Lozi, Niger-Congo) to jump from one stone or log to another
False friends lost (Cornish) tail, queue
halt (Swedish) lame, limping loop (Dutch) walk, gait
murmur (Persian) to creep
silk (Bashgali, India) to be slippery
That sinking feeling
As what could be worse than losing your footing … anamni (Dakota, U SA) to give way under the foot (as snow does, when there is water under it) bawela (Tsonga, South Africa) to sink away in deep mud
kawan (Manobo, Philippines) to walk on air above the ground (for example, when walking in the dark and groping for footing, to step and not nd footing where you expected it)
… mistaking the ground: péese’ov (Cheyenne, U SA) to step on someone’s ngers
trapu psa (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) to step on someone’s feet in passing gobray (Boro, India) to fall into a well unknowingly … or otherwise getting into di culties: dungkal (Bikol, Philippines) to trip and fall head rst gadngád (Tagalog, Philippines) falling on one’s nose
kaiyotan (Dakota, U SA) to fall in attempting to sit down
ra (Tsonga, South Africa) to fall backwards on something hard platzen (German) to fall over and burst
af-vegar (Old Icelandic) fallen on one’s back and unable to rise
pipilili (Tsonga, South Africa) to fall and roll a few times before stopping
Beard in the postbox
Oh dear, you’re back where you started: nu sitter du med skagget i brevladan (Swedish) now you are stuck (literally, now you are sitting with your beard in the postbox)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
To carry coals to Newcastle Eulen nach Athen tragen (German) taking owls to Athens
yezdit’ b Tulu s svoim samovarom (Russian) he’s going to Tula, taking his own samovar vendere ghiaccio agli eschimesi (Italian) selling ice to the Eskimos echar agua al mar (Spanish) to throw water into the sea
es como llevar naranjas a Valencia (Spanish) it is like taking oranges to Valencia vizet hord a Dunába (Hungarian) he is taking water to the Danube
gi bakerbarn brød (Norwegian) to give bread to the child of a baker vender mel ao colmeeiro (Portuguese) to sell honey to a beemaster
12. Upping Sticks
suusan tsetsnees yavsan teneg deer (Mongolian)
a travelling fool is better than a sitting wise person
You can’t spend your whole life
opping around in one place. Sooner or later, whatever traveller’s nerves you may feel, you just have to up
sticks and go: gabkhron (Boro, India) to be afraid of witnessing an adventure resfeber (Swedish) to be jittery before a journey
andlamuka (Tsonga, South Africa) to pack up and depart, especially with all one’s belongings, or to go for good bishu (Chinese) to be away from a hot place in the summer
campanilismo (Italian) local pride, attachment to the vicinity (literally, bell tower-ism – referring to the fact that people do not want to travel so far as to be out of sight of the bell tower)
Reindeer’s piss
A journey’s a journey whether you are going near … poronkusema (Finnish) the distance equal to how far a reindeer can travel without a comfort break – about 5 kilometres (literally, reindeer’s piss)
tonbogaeri (Japanese) to go somewhere for business and come right back without staying the night (literally, dragon y’s return) … or far: donde San Pedro perdió el guarache (Mexican Spanish) to the back of beyond; at the ends of the earth (literally, where St Peter lost his sandal) tuwatauihaiw-ana (Yamana, Chile) to be absent a very long time and thus cease to remember or care for your country and people (as an emigrant might after a long absence)
False friends travel (Norwegian) busy
travel (Norwegian) busy
crush (Romani) to get out
bias (Malay) de ected from its course grind (Dutch) gravel
Wanderlust
Some people just can’t wait to get going: Tapetenwechsel (German) being bored with the place you’re in and wishing to go somewhere else (literally, let’s change the wallpaper) echarse el pollo (Chilean Spanish) to get out of town (literally, to throw out the chicken) amenonéhne (Cheyenne, U SA) to sing while walking along
henkyoryugaku (Japanese) young women who in their twenties and thirties rebel against social norms and travel abroad to devote time to an eccentric art form such as Balinese dancing (literally, studying abroad in the wild)
Tag-along But it can get lonely out there, so consider taking a companion: uatomoceata (Yamana, Chile) to pass your arm within another’s and bring him along, as friends do adi (Swahili) to accompany a person part of their way out of politeness Lebensgefahrte (German) one who travels life’s road with you
nochschlepper (Yiddish) a fellow traveller, tag-along, camp follower, pain in the arse (literally, someone who drags along after someone else) ku-sebeya (Ganda, U ganda) to travel with one’s husband
Wire donkey
Travel on two wheels is always economical, and can be more or less environmentally sound: der Drahtesel (German) a bicycle (literally, wire donkey)
washa (Luvale, Zambia) a bicycle (from the sound it makes as it runs along a narrow path brushing against bushes) stegre (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) to ride a bicycle or a motorized two-wheel vehicle on only the back wheel bromponie (Afrikaans) a motor scooter (literally, a growling or muttering pony)
Loosely bolted
And though four wheels are faster, there is many a pitfall: sakapusu (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) an unreliable vehicle, so called because you always need to get out ( saka) and push ( pusu) galungkung (Maguindanaon, Philippines) the rattling sound produced by a loosely bolted car der Frisch eischwagen (German) an ambulance (literally, fresh meat delivery van) parte (Chilean Spanish) a tra c ticket; also a baptism or wedding invitation gagjom (Tibetan) to set up a roadblock and then rob someone
Highway code
Sometimes the greatest danger on the road comes from other users: faire une queue de poisson (French) to overtake and cut in close in front of a car (literally, to do a shtail) Notbremse ziehen (German) to swerve away at the last moment (literally, to pull the handbrake)
shnourkovat’ sya (Russian) to change lanes frequently and unreasonably when driving (literally, to lace boots) autogangsteri (Finnish) a hit-and-run driver
On re ection
Lucky number plates
The Chinese particularly like car number plates with 118, which is pronounced
yat yat fatt in Cantonese and sounds like ‘everyday
prospers’; 1128 sounds like ‘everyday easily prospers’; and 888 ‘prosper, prosper, prosper’. A number plate with 1164 is not popular because it sounds like yat yat look say , which can mean ‘everyday roll over and die’.
A Hong Kong owner (i.e. a Cantonese speaker) would favour a number plate with just 32168, which sounds like
meaning ‘a very pro table business all the way’.
sang yee yat low fatt ,
Japanese cars can’t have the licence plate 4219 because that could be read as shi ni i ku, which means something along the lines of
‘going to death’.
Jesus’s magimix
If all else fails there’s always public transport (with all the delights that that entails). As the Germans say, ‘We are all equal in the eyes of God and bus drivers’: gondola (Chilean Spanish) a municipal bus
Lumpensammler (German) the last train (literally, rag collector)
Luftkissenboot (German) a hovercraft (literally, air-cushion boat) Or perhaps it’s time to splash out on something special: magimiks belong Yesus (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a helicopter
Pushmepullyou
Japanese subways are so crowded that they employ special packers to push people on and others to untangle them and get them o
when they
get to a station. The pushers-on are addressed as oshiya-san (honourable pusher) and the pullers-o as hagitoriya-san (honourable puller).
Unknown and uneasy
The truth is that travel is rarely as glamorous as it’s portrayed. So whatever happens, keep your nerve: far-lami (Old Icelandic) unable to go further on a journey
kalangkalang (Manobo, Philippines) to be overtaken by night on a journey with no place to stay and nothing to eat asusu (Boro, India) to feel unknown and uneasy in a new place
bu fu shultu (Chinese) not accustomed to the climate or food of a new place (said of a stranger) wewibendam (Ojibway, North America) being in a hurry to return home
Empty trip
And sometimes you will be surprised by unexpected rewards: inchokkilissa (Alabama, U SA) to be alone and experience the quietness of a location
uluphá (Telugu, India) supplies given to any great personage on a journey, and furnished gratis by those who reside on the route Even if you never actually go: kara-shutcho (Japanese) to pay or receive travel expenses for a trip not actually taken (literally, empty business trip)
Travellers’ tales
Always remember that, as the French say, ‘ À beau mentir qui vient de loin ’, travellers from afar can lie with impunity: iwaktehda (Dakota, U SA) to go home in triumph having taken scalps
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
To beat about the bush y aller par quatre chemins (French) to get there by four paths iddur mal-lewz a (Maltese) to go round the almond
å gå som katten rundt den varma grøten (Norwegian) to walk like a cat around hot porridge menare il can per l’aia (Italian) to lead the dog around the yard emborrachar la perdiz (Spanish) to get the partridge drunk
13. Home Sweet Home
Padres, primos e pombos.
Os dois primeiros, não servem para casar. Os dois últimos só servem para sujar a casa ( Portuguese)
Priests, cousins and pigeons. The rst two are not good to marry. The last two only make the house dirty
Location, location, location
‘Choose the neighbour before the house’ goes an old Syrian proverb; and it’s as well to check out the people living nearby before you move in: kwarts-idioot (Dutch) next door to an idiot
espreitadeira (Portuguese) a woman who spies on her neighbours geitonopoulo/a (Greek) the boy/girl next door buurvrouw (Dutch) a neighbour’s wife
búa-grettur (Old Icelandic) a quarrel between neighbours
keba (Myanmar) a village reserved for outcasts and beggars
Nesting
If you have space and time, and hopefully some good materials, your best bet is probably to build your own: u’skwææi (Mingo, U SA) a brick (literally, cooked stone)
skvorets (Russian) a person transporting building materials to a dacha in a car (literally, a starling – with reference to nest building) méygirathu (Tamil) to cover a house with grass, leaves, etc.
maaia (Yamana, Chile) to build wigwams here and there, as a large number of people ocking to a place will do rather than crowd into two or three existing wigwams
Pulling together
Things always work out better if you’ve got people to help you: akittittuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) a stitch used for sewing a tent made by having one person on the inside while the other is outside (the one on the
inside pushes the needle out so that the other person can pull the thread through; the person on the outside then pushes the needle in for the other person to pull); the same stitch is used for sewing a window into place
other person to pull); the same stitch is used for sewing a window into place
dugnad (Norwegian) working together in everyone’s interest without getting paid (for example, moving into a house, painting, building a cabin, etc.; also applies to parents coming together to paint a kindergarden, or everyone in an apartment building cleaning inside and outside the house together)
imece (Turkish) a social gathering at which everyone pitches in to help a neighbour undertake a large task
False friends abort (German) lavatory bang (Korean) room dig (Gaelic) ditch
sir (Arabic) crack of the door gate (Norwegian) street rub (Croatian) edge
Flagging the beam
In Surinam, when the main roof beam of a new house is in place they have a celebration they call
opo-oso, at which a ower or ag is nailed
to the end of the beam, some beer is sprayed on the front of the building and then the builders, owner and others have a drink to celebrate.
Dutch decor
The Dutch have two useful expressions: kneuterig describes a particularly bourgeois type of stinginess which someone might display if they spent a fortune buying a new house and then furnished it with the cheapest ttings available, all in the name of saving money; and its opposite een vlag op een modderschuit , excessive decoration of a common thing, or trying to make the ugly beautiful (literally, a ag on a mud barge).
On re ection
Chinese whispers
It is an increasingly common practice to transliterate foreign proper nouns into Chinese characters that sound similar to the original word but give the Western name a highly positive connotation to Chinese ears: adian
Athens
proper law
zhili
Chile
wisdom bene t
deli
Delhi
virtue hometown
faguo
France
method country
henghe
Ganges
everlasting river
haiya
The Hague
sea tooth
ingguo
England
country of heroes
lundun
London
matching honest
meiguo
America
beautiful country
niuyue
New York
bond agreement
taiguo
Thailand
peaceful country
Frog in a well
The Germans have the wonderful word
Gemütlichkeit for that particular quality of cosiness you can only ever feel at home. In that always-
descriptive language, someone who prefers to stay at home is a Stubenhocker, literally, a room sitter; and in the end, however splendid the house, it’s our intimate individual eyries we actually spend our time in: pung (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) to keep to one’s room
sucilwa (Mambwe, Zambia) a man who never leaves his hut (literally, all smoked up)
kúpa-mandúka (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) one who never leaves his home, one ignorant of the world (literally, a frog in a well)
The emperor’s throne
Di
erent cultures have very di erent approaches to what we euphemistically call the smallest room in the house. The Spanish have excusado,
with its polite suggestion of excusing yourself, whereas the German term wo sogar der Kaiser von China allein hingeht literally means ‘where the emperor of China goes by himself’. Once there, though, we all go through the same motions: engkilu’ (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) sticks or leaves used as toilet paper
zasedat’ (Russian) to sit on the toilet for a long time (literally, to preside)
Toilet museum
Some insist on trying to make us forget why we’re there at all: toirebijutsukan (Japanese) a trend whereby young women moving into an apartment alone for the rst time will go to extreme lengths to decorate their lavatory, scent it with perfume and stock it with interesting literature (literally, toilet museum)
Spatially aware
W e all know these domestic places and spaces; but not all languages have such precise words for them: bakatoo (Mandinka, West Africa) the space between the bed and the wall izungu (Mambwe, Zambia) the space between the bed and the ground
caukā (Hindi) a clean corner in the kitchen for having meals; a rectangular slab of stone
Giftschrank (German) a cupboard where things are kept that may only be lent out to someone with special permission (literally, poison cabinet)
antardvā r (Hindi) a private door inside a house
rincón (Spanish) the internal corner (the external corner is esquina)
Besucherritze (German) the gap where the middle of three people lies when two single beds are pushed together (literally, a visitor’s trench)
Crumb thief
The same is true of the clutter we
ll our rooms up with; until, as the Russians say, ‘ Igolku nygde votknut ’, there’s nowhere you can throw a
needle: dur dicki mengri (Romani) a telescope (literally, far-seeing-thing)
hap laplap bilong wasim plet (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a dish cloth kruimeldief (Dutch) a hoover (literally, a crumb thief)
kruimeldief (Dutch) a hoover (literally, a crumb thief)
Staubsauger (German) a vacuum cleaner (literally, dustsucker)
yötwënukwastahkwa’ (Mingo, U SA) radio (literally, people use it for spreading their voice out) dinnilos dikkamuktar (Romani) television (literally, fool’s looking box) Flimmerkasten (German) television (literally, ickering box)
Whatever our circumstances, in the end, perhaps, we should just be grateful that we are á-panna-griha (Sanskrit), someone whose house has not fallen in.
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
To make a mountain out of a molehill tehdä kärpäsestä härkänen (Finnish) to make a bull out of a y
se noyer dans un verre d’eau (French) to drown oneself in a glass of water
til ka taad banaana or rai ka pahaad banana (Hindi) to turn a sesame seed into a large tree or to turn a mustard seed into a mountain arcem e cloaca facere (Latin) to make a stronghold out of a sewer
narediti iz muhe slona (Slovenian) to make an elephant from a y
14. Dinner Time kopeklerin duası kabul olsa gökten kemik yağardı (Turkish)
if dogs’ prayers were accepted it would rain bones from the sky
Rushed breakfast
W hen it comes to eating there is, of course, no such thing as a typical meal: munkavacsora (Hungarian) a working dinner
kamatuao (Gilbertese, Oceania) a meal for one who wakes during the night bulunenekinoo (Mandinka, West Africa) the rst meal cooked by a bride ottobrata (Italian) a country outing or picnic in October
hwyaden (Welsh) the small amount of breakfast a newly married man has time to eat when leaving home for work after intimacy with his new wife (literally, a duck)
My tapeworm is talking
And there are still many parts of the world where you can’t take any kind of refreshment for granted: kemarok (Malay) ravenously hungry after an illness
hiukaista (Finnish) to feel hungry for something salty
paragadupu (Telugu, India) the state of the stomach before a person has broken his fast fulumizya (Mambwe, Zambia) to cook quickly for somebody who is very hungry
étaomêhótsenôhtóvenestse napâhpóneehéhame (Cheyenne, U SA) being very hungry (literally, my tapeworm can almost talk by itself)
Sampling
Particular skills are often required to make sure you’ve got the very best of the ingredients available: kupit’ arbuz navyrez (Russian) to buy a watermelon with the right to sample a section pale (Scots) to test a cheese by an incision
athukkugirathu (Tamil) to press a fruit softly with the ngers
Stirring it up
And then time must be taken to get things correctly and thoroughly prepared: jiigi (Buli, Ghana) to stir with much energy, to prepare a hard food that cannot be stirred with one hand ri-noo-ko che-he-kuo (Car, Nicobar Islands) chopping up with spoons and forks
tikudeni (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to put the correct amount of rice into a pot to be cooked loyly (Finnish) the wave of heat that engulfs you when you throw water on the hot stove
Surprise water
Now is the moment when a cook’s individual skills can make all the di
erence to the end result. As the Chinese wisely say, ‘Never eat in a
restaurant where the chef is thin’: tliwat (Tagalog, Philippines) to pour a liquid several times between containers to mix or cool it well
bikkuri mizu (Japanese) a small amount of cold water added to a boiling pot of spaghetti or other noodles just before they are cooked (literally, surprise water: i.e. the cold water surprises the noodles)
ilas-ana (Yamana, Chile) to cut and spread meat open so that it cooks quicker
tuyong (Tagalog, Philippines) water added to make up for water lost (in cooking)
Dead dog
‘Hunger is the best cook,’ say the Germans, and it’s true that when you’re starving even the lightest snack will taste as good as anything you’ve ever eaten: smörgås (Swedish) a sandwich (literally, butter goose)
ekiben (Japanese) a packed lunch dispensed from station kiosks
dokhlaya sobaka (Russian) a low-quality frankfurter (literally, a dead dog)
Xoox
For the fuller meal, what
ne and varied ingredients the world o ers:
jordgubbe (Swedish) a strawberry (literally, earth man) ah (Arabic) egg white
xoox (Eastern Arabic) plums
sneisar-hald (Old Icelandic) the part of a sausage in which the pin is stuck tsé-péene éškôseeséhotamého’évohkôtse (Cheyenne, U SA) a pork sausage
Slug in the hole
Some ingredients might not be to everyone’s taste: lelita’ (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) an edible slug of the swampland nido (Tagalog, Philippines) an edible bird’s nest
brarah (Hebrew) second-rate fruits (speci cally oranges)
kavavangaheti (Tsonga, South Africa) a dead animal so large that people cannot nish its meat (for example, hippo, whale or elephant) cilh-vā ns (Hindi) the esh of a kite (the eating of which is said to produce madness)
mmbwe (Venda, South Africa) a round pebble taken from a crocodile’s stomach and swallowed by a chief
Cabbage or cheese
The Italians even approve or disapprove in terms of food: come i cavoli a merenda totally out of place, inappropriate (literally, like cabbage for a snack) come il cacio sui maccheroni perfect (literally, like cheese on pasta)
Your legs are long The actual nosh itself is only part of it. Company is equally important, and in many parts of the world you simply have no idea who’s going to show up:
pakiroki (Rapanui, Easter Island) a pauper who comes to someone else’s house hoping to be invited to eat
jiao chang (Chinese) your legs are long (said of someone who arrives just as something delicious is being served)
a la suerte de la olla (Chilean Spanish) to arrive at someone’s house not knowing what food they will be o ering (literally, to the luck of the pot)
bufe ák (Czech) a guy who hangs around cafeterias and eats leftovers xenodaites (Ancient Greek) a devourer of guests or strangers
On re ection
Say cheese
W hen trying to catch a person’s attention and have him/her look into the lens, the old Czech photographers’ phrase was
pozor, vyleti
ptacek, which literally means ‘watch out, a bird will be released/ y out’ (from the camera). In Serbia, people are asked to say ptica, ‘bird’. Danish photographers have a variety of phrases they can use, but their favourite is sig appelsin , ‘say orange’.
The English word cheese is often used because pronouncing it shapes the mouth into a smile. Other languages have adopted this
method, with di erent words that have a similar sound or e ect:
kimchi (Korean) a traditional fermented dish made of seasoned vegetables qiezi (Mandarin) aubergine cerise (French) cherry
whisky (Argentinian Spanish) In Malta, people sometimes jokingly say ġobon, their word for cheese, which will obviously result in the exact opposite facial expression.
Gobbling it down
Sometimes your guests are so busy
lling their faces that they forget about the politer aspects of sharing a meal:
fresser (Yiddish) someone who eats quickly and noisily
physingoomai (Ancient Greek) to be excited by eating garlic
qarun (Persian) someone who eats two dates or two mouthfuls at once
bwakia (Swahili) to throw into the mouth (for example, pieces of food, nuts, tobacco)
komba (Chewa, South East Africa) to scrape a pot or dish with the fore nger, as children do
pelinti (Buli, Ghana) to move very hot food around inside one’s mouth to avoid too close a contact
ikok (Ik, Nilo-Saharan) to knock bones together in order to take out and eat the marrow from inside waphaka (South African Township) to eat faster than the rest
Miss Manners
Sco
ng too fast can be just the start of the problem:
buttare giu tutto come un lavandino (Italian) to eat like a pig (literally, to throw down everything as if one were a sink)
buttare giu tutto come un lavandino (Italian) to eat like a pig (literally, to throw down everything as if one were a sink) muwel (Manobo, Philippines) to ll the mouth so that one cannot talk hdaśna (Dakota, U SA) to miss when putting food into one’s mouth xom-xoàm (Vietnamese) to speak while one’s mouth is full
roic (Gaelic) the sumptuous feasting by boorish people without any of the re ned manners of genteel society
False friends sky (Swedish) gravy
tuna (Tuvaluan, Polynesia) prawn or eel
binlíd (Tagalog, Philippines) small broken particles of milled rice dark (Albanian) evening meal
g (Caribbean Creole) banana
Slow Food
So, instead, take your time and fully savour the experience: fyompola (Mambwe, Zambia) to lick honey o the ngers pisan zapra (Malay) the time needed to eat a banana
Menu envy
For some, the salad next door is always greener: Futterneid (German) the desire to eat what is on another person’s plate (literally, feeding envy) lyu mupusulo (Mambwe, Zambia) to eat so as to cheat another out of his share of food selongkar (Malay) to steal food o a plate
gagula (Tsonga, South Africa) to take food without permission, showing a lack of good manners
Picky
Others could do with feeling a bit hungry once in a while: kieskauw (Dutch) a person who tri es with his food
malastigà (Tagalog, Philippines) being bored of eating the same food all the time
Krüsch (northern German) somebody who dislikes a lot of foods (and is therefore di cult to cook for)
My mouth is lonely
And some greedy pigs just don’t know when to stop: amuti (Rapanui, Easter Island) a glutton; someone who will eat anything, such as unripe or out-of-season fruit akaska (Dakota, U SA) to eat after one is full
ngang da (Vietnamese) to lose one’s appetite because one has eaten between meals
kuchi ga samishii (Japanese) eating when you don’t need to, for the sake of it or out of boredom (literally, my mouth is lonely) knedlikový (Czech) rather partial to dumplings
hostigar (Chilean Spanish) to gorge on sweets to the point of nausea
Angel cake
In the end, though, it’s all in the eye – or rather mouth – of the beholder. For better … alsof er een engeltje op je tong piest (Dutch) utterly delicious, heavenly tasting (literally, as if an angel is urinating on your tongue) kou fu (Chinese) the good luck prerequisite for having opportunities to eat delicious food (literally, mouth fortune) … or worse: panshey (Bengali) food that tastes rather at
ichootakbachi (Alabama, U SA) to leave a bad taste in the mouth tomatoma (Mailu, Papua New Guinea) tasteless food
pikikiwepogosi (Ojibway, North America) having the taste of an animal that was tired out before it was killed tsitlama (Setswana, Botswana) to make a wry face after eating or drinking something nasty
Restaurant review
Tired of cooking at home, not to mention doing the washing-up and putting-away, we may tell ourselves how nice it is to eat out. But though the fantasy is great, the reality is often less so: Schlürfbude (German) a fast-food restaurant (literally, slurp dump) dolorosa (Spanish) a restaurant bill (literally, painful)
Abendteuer (German) an expensive evening (literally, an adventure)
The condemned man is a nal meal
Possibly the strangest takeaway of all is described by the Russian word
korova: this is the unfortunate person that prison camp escapees take
with them to eat over their period of ight and in their hideout (it literally means ‘a cow’).
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Too many cooks spoil the broth sendou ooku shite fune yama ni noboru (Japanese) too many captains and the boat will go up a mountain qi shou, ba jiao (Chinese) seven hands, eight feet
idha kathira ar-rababina gharigat as-sa na (Arabic) too many captains sink the ship
zo mangna go lhong mi tshu (Dzongkha, Bhutan) when there are too many carpenters the door cannot be erected
seul mui à vugulion a vez, e vez falloc’h gouarnet ar saout (Breton, France) the more cowherds there are, the worse the cows are looked after
puno baba, kilavo dijete (Croatian) with many midwives, the child will be lazy veel varkens maken de spoeling dun (Dutch) many pigs make the slops sparse zyada jogi math ujaad (Hindi) too many saints can ruin the monastery
troppi galli a cantar non fa mai giorno (Italian) with too many cocks singing it is never going to dawn zuun yamaand jaran uhana (Mongolian) one hundred goats for sixty billy goats
u pyati nyanek dyetya byez glaza, u cemyorykh – byez golovy (Russian) when there are ve nurses the child loses an eye – with seven nurses the child is nally found to lack a head
haber más capeadores que toros (Costa Rican Spanish) there are more bull ghters than bulls
15. One for the Road fra børn og fulde folk skal man høre sandheden (Danish) from children and drunks you will hear the truth
The towel of a hippy
The quenching of thirst is another sensation that brings out evocative descriptions. In Chilean Spanish they say they are tener mas sed que piojo de muneca, thirstier than a louse on a doll; or again, in more contemporary usage, toalla hippy, than the towel of a hippy: tarfa (Hausa, Nigeria) to pour out drop by drop
gargalacar (Portuguese) to drink from the bottle
funda (Swahili) to ll the mouth with water until the cheeks are distended srann (Gaelic) a drink as deep as one’s breath will permit
ngalela (Setswana, Botswana) to drink and drain the contents of a container in one go
avoir la dalle en pente (French) to have the throat on a slant (in order to be able to drink constantly)
The milky way
The men of the African Toubari and Massa tribes observe a rite called
gourouna in which they retire for several months from ordinary pursuits
and restraints and drink prodigious amounts of milk.
Social drinking
No one should boire en Suisse (French), drink alone in secret (literally, drinking in the Swiss way). It’s always healthier to share the experience: gonets (Russian) one sent to buy alcohol for friends (literally, a herald) chistra (Breton, France) to go from farm to farm and ask for cider
cayetanas (Mexican Spanish) a code word for apple cider disguised in a beer bottle, ordered by cabaret hostesses who don’t want to get drunk afdrinken (Dutch) let’s have a drink and be friends
glaoch (Irish) the act of calling for a round of drinks at a pub
Bob (Dutch) the designated driver, the one who sticks to one beer and drives everybody home from wherever they’ve been partying (Bob was the name used originally in a famous anti-drink-drive campaign)
Altered states
Soft drinks will satisfy our thirst, but are never as exciting as those which are a bit stronger. It’s surely no coincidence that most of the best words about drinks and drinking involve alcohol. As the literal meaning of the Amerindian Mingo word for alcohol, teka’niköëtényös, has it, it changes minds from one way to another: whether it’s beer you’re drinking … sampa (Rukwangali, Namibia) to taste beer with one’s nger
bu erbiertje (Dutch) the beer that is standing next to the beer you’re drinking and serves as a bu er in case you nish drinking your beer before you have a chance to get the barman’s attention (literally, bu er beer)
der Diesel (German) a mixture of beer and cola
On re ection
To your good health?
Around the world the commonest drinking toast is to good health:
Na zdravje (Slovenian), Salud (Spanish), Saúde (Brazilian Portuguese),
Kia Ora (Maori), Egészségedre (Hungarian), Gezondheid (Flemish). The U krainians take this to the next level with Budmo!, which means ‘let us live forever!’
In contrast, the Scandinavian drinking toast Skål! (pronounced ‘skoal’) has a much more macabre background, as it originally meant
‘skull’. The word is alleged to have come down from a custom practised by the warlike Vikings who used the dried-out skulls of their enemies as drinking mugs.
… or something rather more powerful: Dreimännerwein (German) a wine so disgusting it takes three men to drink it (two men to make you drink it – you are the third)
kadamsana (Malawi) a very strong home-made spirit (literally, that which brings darkness during the day – aptly describing its knock-out e ects)
Vodka vocabulary
The Russians, in particular, have a
ne set of words for the many styles of tippling:
pogoda shepchet to take time o from work, or a desire to get drunk (literally, the weather is whispering) bukhat’ to drink alone
deryabnut’ to drink quickly in order to warm up gorlo to drink from the bottle
vspryskivat’ to drink in celebration of a holiday or a new purchase (literally, to besprinkle)
daganyat’ sya to drink in order to get drunk, to try to catch up with the amount of drinking that others have already done otglyantsevat’ to drink beer or wine after vodka (literally, to gloss a photo print) ostogrammit’sya to drink 100 grams of vodka as a remedy for a hangover
False friends full (Norwegian) drunk
grogi (Finnish) whisky and soda
pickle (Chilean Spanish) a person who drinks too much jaw (Zarma, Nigeria) to be thirsty
On a slippery road
And all languages have evocative expressions for being drunk … sternhagelvoll (German) full of stars and hail
rangi-changi (Nepalese) slightly too multi-coloured
être rond comme une bille (French) to be as round as a marble redlös (Swedish) ride free
andar cacheteando la banqueta (Mexican Spanish) to go along with one’s cheek on the pavement … and for the inevitable results of overdoing it: khukhurhuteka (Tsonga, South Africa) to walk uncertainly, as a drunk man among people seated on the oor midàbodàboka (Malagasy, Madagascar) to fall over frequently, as drunken men or people on a slippery road mawibi (Ojibway, North America) drunken weeping
Backhendlfriedhof (Austrian German) a beer belly (literally, cemetery for fried chickens)
ne govori ou samoi muzh piatnisa (Russian) a shrug of understanding when sharing someone else’s problems (literally, no need to explain, my husband is a drunk)
Under the monkey
For the French you are as sober as
un chameau (a camel) but as drunk as un cochon (a pig), une grive (a thrush), or even une soupe (a soup). In
Lithuanian you can also be drunk as a pig (kiaulė), or then again as a bee ( bitelė) or a shoemaker ( šiaučius). Elsewhere you can be drvo pijan
(Macedonian) drunk as a tree; jwei ru ni (Mandarin) drunk as mud; orracho como una uva (Cuban Spanish) drunk as a grape; bull som en kaja (Swedish) drunk as a jackdaw; itdek mast (U zbek) drunk as a dog; or einen A en sitzen haben (German) to be dead drunk (literally, to have a monkey sit on one).
The morning after
It’s only when you get home that you may start to wonder what on earth possessed you: rhwe (Tsonga, South Africa) to sleep on the oor without a mat and usually drunk and naked gidravlicheskiy budil’nik (Russian) a full bladder (literally, an hydraulic alarm clock)
sasamudilo (Ndebele, Southern Africa) a drink of beer in the morning after a debauch, a pick-me-up
peregar (Byelorussian) the residual taste of alcohol in the mouth and the heavy stench of low-grade alcohol around a habitual drinker
Vineyard u
And all drinking cultures have inventive expressions for the horrors of the morning after: avoir la gueule de bois (French) to have a wooden mouth babalasi (Venda, South Africa) a trembling hangover
futsukayoi (Japanese) a hangover (literally, second day drunk) winderdgriep (Afrikaans) a hangover (literally, vineyard u)
winderdgriep (Afrikaans) a hangover (literally, vineyard u)
einen Kater haben (German) to have a hangover (literally, to have a tomcat) scimmia (Italian) to have a hangover (literally, a monkey)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Don’t cry over spilt milk paid â chodi pais ar ôl piso (Welsh) don’t lift a petticoat after peeing kusat sebe lokti (Russian) to bite one’s elbows
nasi sudah menjadi bubur (Indonesian) the rice has become porridge eső után köpönyeg (Hungarian) coat after rain
16. All in a Day’s Work
yesli khochetsya rabotat’ lyag pospi i vsyo proydyot (Russian) if you feel an urge to work take a nap and it will pass
Pounce and decoy
Time was when going out to work meant leaving the cave or hut to forage for food: mbwandira (Chichewa, Malawi) to catch a small animal like a bird or mouse by pouncing on top of it
puyugaktuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) to approach a sea mammal by crawling
tamigata (Yamana, Chile) to form together in a continuous line in order to drive birds up into a creek and then hemming them round to cut o their retreat to the open water
kanghanzila (Mambwe, Zambia) he who stands behind the game and imitates the lion’s roar so as to drive the game into the nets
sendula (Mambwe, Zambia) to nd accidentally a dead animal in the forest (and be excited at the thought that a lion or leopard could be still around)
walakatla (Tsonga, South Africa) to ing down in disgust, as a hunter does with his spears when returning empty-handed
Point blank
In our rapidly developing world, this is obviously less and less the case, as age-old skills are replaced by a more up-to-date weapon: paltik (Kapampangan, Philippines) a home-made gun otselask (Estonian) a point-blank shot
tsikinika (Oshindonga, Namibia) to shoot something at close range
Dodo
Even if the matching cunning of animals remains much the same: debideboo (Mandinka, West Africa) a bird which pretends not to be able to y but slips away any time an attempt is made to catch it kavraq (Iñupiat, Inuit) a wounded caribou that runs away unobserved
kavraq (Iñupiat, Inuit) a wounded caribou that runs away unobserved
ugutur-kona-ina (Yamana, Chile) to go about on the water evading sight; to hide as ducklings or goslings do to evade the hunter
vulwa-vulwa-vulwa (Tsonga, South Africa) to run a little, stop and look round before proceeding, like a buck anxious not to be seen
Spear hurling
Out on the seas and oceans, however, the traditional tools of hook and net have not been seriously superseded; nor have the associated skills: zekumuna (Luvale, Zambia) to pull out a sh which ies o the hook and falls onto the ground
alatkaqtuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) to scan the landscape from an elevated point, to look into water for signs of sh
ukomona (Yamana, Chile) to hurl the spear at sh, but at no special one, hoping to spear one among the shoal wasswa (Ojibway, North America) spearing sh at night by the light of a torch
Eel dribbling
In the countless islands of the Paci
c, such techniques have been carefully honed:
kikamu (Hawaiian) the gathering of sh about a hook that they hesitate to bite
atua tapa (Rapanui, Easter Island) the orientation point for shermen, which is not in front of the boat, but on the side hakakau (Hawaiian) to stand with precarious footing, as on the edge of a canoe looking for squid
’ea’ea (Hawaiian) to cover the eyebrows, as a sherman shading the eyes while looking into deep water for sh
ka ro’iro’i i te koreha (Rapanui, Easter Island) to dribble on the eel, to drop your spittle, mixed with chewed bait, into the water to attract the eel
Sea women
In Japan, abalone
shing is often done in husband and wife teams. The women, who are thought to be better at holding their breath and
withstanding the cold for long periods, do the pearl diving, while the husbands take charge of the boat and the lifeline. The wives are known as ama – ‘sea women’.
Bamboo cutters
Once the world moved on from hunting and gathering, a degree of occupational specialization was bound to creep in: baradi’l (Arabic) a maker of donkey saddles
murd-shuy (Persian) a washer of dead bodies
ngmoruk-yaaroaba (Buli, Ghana) a ritual rain-maker
médara (Telugu, India) belonging to the caste that cut bamboos and live by selling them
gardziiba (Tibetan) an astrologist or a person in charge of the cups and dishes during parties
bakamyi (Rwanda and Burundi dialect) a person credited with supernatural powers who milked the royal cows
Mekametz (Talmudic Hebrew) a man who gathers dog faeces so that he may hand them over to the Burskai, men who process animal skins
Angel makers
As societies became more developed, so jobs became more rari
ed …
netty (Scots) a woman who traverses the country in search of wool sunba (Tibetan) someone who looks after irrigation canals
bagaceiro (Portuguese) a workman who feeds sugar-cane husks into a furnace poppendokter (Dutch) a mender of dolls (literally, a doll doctor) catadeira (Portuguese) a woman who culls co ee beans by hand
faiseur d’anges (French) an illegal abortionist (literally, an angel maker) paçaci (Turkish) a man who sells sheep’s trotters
paçaci (Turkish) a man who sells sheep’s trotters khā ndika (Sanskrit) a seller of sugar plums
bengaleiro (Portuguese) an umbrella maker or salesman
False friends tra k (Hungarian) tobacconist
agenda (French) notebook, diary basin (Turkish) the press fabric (Russian) factory
pasta (Portuguese) briefcase, folder
Soul plumbers … until we end up with occupations that are entirely sophisticated and modern: amanuensis (Dutch) a laboratory attendant
arquitonto (Central American Spanish) a stupid architect basura (Spanish) rubbish inspectors
dal’noboishitsa (Russian) a prostitute who specializes in a clientele of truckers değnekçi (Turkish) an uno cial/self-appointed parking attendant
Seelenklempner (German) a psychiatrist (literally, a soul plumber)
culero (Spanish) a drug smuggler who hides the drugs in his rectum jasusa (Arabic) a woman spy
profesores taximetros (Columbian Spanish) part-time professors who hold a number of teaching positions at various institutions from and to which they rush by taxi (literally, taxicab professors)
On re ection
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalianism (the practice of using long words)
The Germans are renowned for their love of long words where several words are compounded to form an extremely speci
c word, often
to do with the world of work, such as: Donaudampfschi fahrtsgesellschaftskapitänsjackenknop och the buttonhole in the jacket of a captain of the Danube steam boat company or Reichseisenbahnhinundherschiebershäuschen the little house of the state railway track shunter But other languages also have their own lengthy words: megszentségtelenithetetlenségeskedéseltekért (Hungarian) for your unprofaneable actions
kindercarnavalsoptochtvoorbereidingswerkzaamheden (Dutch) preparation activities for a children’s carnival procession inconstitucionalissimamente (Portuguese) very unconstitutionally
prijestolonaslijednikovica (Croatian) wife of an heir to the throne
Low pro le
Of course, to do a job properly, certain key skills are useful: aprovechar (Spanish) to get the best out of or make the most of an opportunity diam ubi (Malay) to work quietly or with a low pro le until successful
diam ubi (Malay) to work quietly or with a low pro le until successful kamgar (Persian) one who accomplishes whatever he wishes
dub-skelper (Scots) one who goes his way regardless of mud and puddles (used light-heartedly of a young bank clerk whose duty it is to run about giving notice that bills are due)
coyote (Mexican Spanish) a person who handles certain troublesome legal procedures at government agencies on behalf of third parties and for a fee, by means of kick-backs and/or bribes (literally, coyote, a wol ike wild dog)
Horn diggers
However, we should never underestimate the virtue of good, old-fashioned graft: greadan (Gaelic) spending a considerable time and giving all one’s might to anything balebosteven (Yiddish) to bustle like a meticulous housewife
ryt’ rogom zemlyu (Russian) to make great e orts (literally, to dig up the ground with one’s horn)
echar la casa por la ventana (Latin American Spanish) to go all out (literally, to throw the house out of the window)
sisu (Finnish) obstinate determination, heroic guts, stubborn persistence
dumog (Tagalog, Philippines) to be absorbed in the ful lment of one’s task
Mice milkers
Even so, diligence isn’t everything. There are some poor workers who bust a gut but fail to please simply because they can’t see the bigger picture. The French describe this as chercher midi à quatorze , literally, to look for midday at two o’clock in the afternoon. To the Dutch, a person who pays excessive attention to detail is a mierenneuker – literally, an ant fucker; or, more charitably, a muggenzifter (mosquito sifter) or a punaisepoetser (pin polisher). But all cultures are colourful in their criticism:
Erbsenzaehler (German) someone concerned with small things (literally, counter of peas) pilkunnussija (Finnish) an extreme pedant (literally, comma fucker)
taburaka (Gilbertese, Oceania) one who exaggerates rules and regulations, a stickler for the letter of the law
Mäusemelker (German) someone who eagerly concentrates on the nitty-gritty rather than the wider overview (literally, someone who milks mice)
gladit’ shnurki (Russian) to be over-solicitous, to do too much (literally, to iron someone’s shoelaces)
Jobsworth
Other colleagues bring other problems: Schnarchnase (German) someone who is slow in acting (literally, snoring nose)
pezezengdeng (Manobo, Philippines) to be spoken to but sit motionless and ignore their request reke (Yoruba, Nigeria, Benin and Togo) to wait in expectation of another’s mistake kyag-kyag (Tibetan) throwing obstacles in the way of another’s work, out of spite
švejkování (Czech) deviously undermining your boss or circumventing your supervisor’s wishes while appearing angelically innocent and even
švejkování (Czech) deviously undermining your boss or circumventing your supervisor’s wishes while appearing angelically innocent and even rather simple (in the manner of the Good Soldier Svejk , the novel by Jaroslav Hasek)
suthi vuttiya (Tamil) the method used by call centre employees to avoid taking people’s calls by changing their place on the list
Promises, promises
At least you can rely on the hopeless, spiteful and devious to be counterproductive. Worse are those who promise to help but never deliver, or who rush around frantically but never get anywhere: kaengeng (Gilbertese, Oceania) to say ‘yes yes’ and do nothing about it
llamarada de petate (Central American Spanish) an undertaking started with great enthusiasm and suddenly dropped ( petate is a woven reed mat used for sleeping)
hubyahubyeka (Tsonga, South Africa) to hurry here and there achieving nothing
ningas-kugon (Tagalog, Philippines) the sudden spurt of enthusiasm followed by a slowing down and an eventual slipping back into old habits
robota ne vovk, v lis ne vtiče (U krainian proverb) I can get back to doing that later (literally, work is not a wolf, it doesn’t run into the woods) nakinaki (Mandinka, West Africa) to go here and there pretending to be busy in order to avoid work
mikka bouzu (Japanese) a quitter (literally, three-day monk: a person who leaves the monkhood only three days after taking his vows)
Pedalling in yoghurt
The French, in particular, have a
ne range of metaphors for not getting things done for one reason or another.
Brasser de l’air is to give the
impression of being busy (literally, to shu e the air); peigner la girafe is to waste time in idle pursuits (literally, to comb the gira e); pedaler dans le yaourt means to be getting nowhere fast (literally, to be pedalling in yoghurt); while un coup d’épée dans l’eau is a wasted e ort (literally, a sword blow into water).
Counting the stars
One would almost prefer to work alongside those who model their lives on the Mexican Spanish expression
el trabajo embrutece, work
brutalizes … poltrone (Italian) lazybones (literally, easy chairs)
shitat zvyozdy (Russian) to twiddle one’s thumbs (literally, to count the stars)
jeta (Swahili) a lazy person who does not stir himself to get the things he wants, but asks others to fetch them, even though the things may be quite near to him
bulat (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to have a phobia of certain jobs
imilila (Mambwe, Zambia) to work half-heartedly, all the time thinking about leaving
The company tribe … or are perhaps waiting in hope for those sought-after positions that will surely, eventually, come up: enchufe (Spanish) a cushy job (literally, a plug or socket)
anichado (Portuguese) hidden away, as in a niche; well-placed in a good job der Tintenpisser (German) a bureaucrat (literally, ink pisser) tagapagpaganáp (Tagalog, Philippines) an executive
ntlhelavasati (Tsonga, South Africa) a place where one works that is not too distant from home
shayo-zoku (Japanese) employees living extravagantly on company money (literally, the company tribe)
Sell out
Although it’s wise to remember that blind loyalty to the organization is much overrated: ser líder charro (Mexican Spanish) to be a union leader who sells out to company management
ser líder charro (Mexican Spanish) to be a union leader who sells out to company management
wegloben (German) to laud away (i.e. if a superior wants to get rid of a co-worker he draws up an exaggerated testimonial to ensure that the unloved sta er leaves the company)
extraknäck (Swedish) a job on the side
kutu-loncat (Indonesian) someone who constantly moves from job to job for better prospects or wages (literally, jumping bug)
Lilies of the eld
Perhaps the luckiest are those who don’t have to do anything at all: goyang kaki (Malay) to shake one’s leg; to live comfortably without having to work hard; to live o one’s land or fortune or legacy
caer en blandito (Latin American Spanish) to have a situation turn out extremely well without much e ort (literally, to fall on a soft surface) péter dans la soie (French) to live the life of Riley (literally, to fart in silk)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Bad workman blames his tools el mal escribano le echa la culpa a la pluma/el cojo le echa la culpa al empedrado (Spanish) the poor writer blames the pen/the limping man blames the pavement
zlej baletnicy przeszkadza rąbek u spódnicy (Polish) a poor dancer will be disturbed even by the hem of her skirt ’araj al jamal min shi atu (Arabic) the camel limped from its split lip
plokhomu tantsory (i) yaytsa meshayut (Russian) a poor dancer is impeded (even) by his own balls
17. Game Theory
kush nuk di ç’është lodhja, ai nuk di ç’është çlodhja (Albanian) who does not know tiredness, does not know how to relax
Celebrating Monday
However hard we work, it’s important to take time o
, even if we have to be clever about how we arrange it:
hacer San Lunes (Mexican Spanish) to take Monday o because the weekend was too exhausting (literally, to celebrate St Monday)
puente (Spanish) bridge; the Spanish have their bank holidays on a Tuesday so that Monday will, on most occasions, be treated as a bridge day (an extra day of holiday), ensuring a four-day weekend; there is also a viaducto, which is when holidays fall on a Tuesday and a Thursday, thus enabling someone to take the whole week o
Slow start
How wonderful to let slip the usual routines, take your time, take it easy: faire la grasse matinée (French) to sleep in (literally, to make a fat morning)
pegar(sele) las sábanas a (alguien) (Latin American Spanish) to oversleep (literally, to have the sheets stick to you)
guzu guzu suru (Japanese) being slow when you have something you should be doing; a half-wakeful sleep, especially in the morning when you have sort of woken up but are still playing with your dreams
faire le tour du cadran (French) to sleep the day away (literally, to do the tour of the clock’s face)
Idle time
Even when one has fully woken up there’s no pressure to do anything: cangkul angin (Malay) hoeing the air; putting one’s feet up in the air or doing useless things Although sometimes the lack of pressure can be pressurizing in itself: Zeit totschlagen (German) somebody who has free time but doesn’t know what to do, so does something senseless (literally, to beat time to death)
egkila-kila (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to act foolishly as a means to combat boredom
tsurumun (Japanese) a single woman who dreads being alone on national holidays and invents reasons to visit friends
False friends black (Swedish) ink
brief (German) letter fart (French) ski wax
gong (Balinese) orchestra
gong (Balinese) orchestra
war-side (Somali) newspaper urinator (Latin) diver
rust (Dutch) rest or tranquillity
Cucumber troop
There are all kinds of things one can do with time o
. What about watching some football? Fans would surely agree that few players can be a
peleon (Puerto Rican Spanish), one who plays like Pele, but the Germans have gathered an evocative vocabulary for the highs (and lows) of watching a match:
der Schlachtenbummler a football fan who travels to support his team at home and away (literally, battle stroller)
der Hexenkessel a football stadium of the opposing team, with the fans creating a heated atmosphere (literally, witch’s cauldron) kleinklein passing the ball from player to player without a plan (literally, small small) Blutgratsche a nasty tackle
die Gurkentruppe a team that plays badly and unprofessionally, a disaster area, incompetent bunch of players (literally, cucumber troop)
Aggro
Or one could take up a heavier or more demanding sport: bariga (Tagalog, Philippines) being thrown down in wrestling (literally, the bigger end of an egg)
atuila (Yamana, Chile) to press down on someone and make his legs give way so that he can be held down munasat (Persian) taking hold of one another’s forelocks when ghting
binti (Manobo, Philippines) a test of strength in which one man stands with his legs apart and his opponent runs from behind and kicks him in the calf of the leg with his shin in an attempt to knock him over; they then change places and continue until one is clearly defeated or gives up because of the pain
Ski-lane terror
Up in the mountains, it’s fast, dangerous, but always fun: Pistenschreck (German) a skier you have to watch out for (literally, ski-lane terrorist)
tulee! (Finnish) look out! I’m skiing/sledging down towards you at high speed! (literally, it’s coming!) ahterijarrut (Finnish) falling o your skis and using your tail-end to stop (literally, arse-brakes)
Fackelabfahrt (German) a aming-torchlight ski-run down the side of a steep snowy mountain, undertaken at night by around fty skiers
On re ection
The sound of your heart racing
Every language has onomatopoeic words, whose sound and rhythm vividly describe the sound or action they describe:
hara hara doki doki (Japanese) the feeling of your heart racing when you’re scared or nervous
nyurrugu (Yidiny, Australia) the noise of talking heard a long way o when the words cannot be made out vuhubya-hubya (Tsonga, South Africa) the apping of pendulous breasts of a woman hurrying krog-krog (Tibetan) a sound produced by grinding hard brittle objects together empap (Malay) the sound of a at object falling on a soft surface
mswatswa (Chichewa, Malawi) the sound of footsteps on dry grass
ndlangandzandlangandza (Tsonga, South Africa) the sound of drums during an exorcism ritual, beaten to cure a possessed person geeuw (Dutch) a yawn
guntak (Malay) the rattle of pips in a dry fruit
gwarlingo (Welsh) the rushing sound a grandfather clock makes before striking the hour phut (Vietnamese) the noise of string or rope that snaps
zhaghzhagh (Persian) the noise made by almonds or by other nuts shaken together in a bag schwupp (German) quick as a ash (short for schwuppdiwupp)
szelescic (Polish) the sound when someone folds paper (pronounced scheleshchich)
Taking a dip
Down by the sea, river or lakeside, the activity on our day o
is altogether gentler:
nchala-nchala-nchala (Tsonga, South Africa) to swim noiselessly and swiftly zaplyvats (Byelorussian) to swim far out
maulep (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a diver who can stay underwater for a long time, holding his breath kataobairi (Gilbertese, Oceania) to go under the surface of the water with only one’s nostrils above terkapai-kapai (Malay) nervously moving the arms about (said of a bad swimmer) tankah (Hawaiian Pidgin) a surfboard that seats six
limilimi (Hawaiian) to be turned over and over in the surf
Dizzy dancing
In many parts of the world, though, resources dictate that they have to make their own fun: akkharikā (Pali, India) a game recognizing syllables written in the air or on one’s back
antyākshrī (Hindi) a poetic competition in which a contestant recites a couplet beginning with the last letter recited by the previous contestant and which is then carried on by rival teams
kapana (Setswana, Botswana) to catch each other with both hands when taking turns to fall from a height
sikki (Ilokano, Philippines) a game played by tossing pebbles aloft and catching as many of them as possible on the back of the hand
pitz/pokolpok (Mayan, Central America) a game in which the object is to put a rubber ball through a stone ring using only hips, knees and elbows
mmamadikwadikwane (Setswana, Botswana) a game in which a child spins round until dizzy; it’s also the term for ballroom dancing
Taking part
The Tagalog language of the Philippines has some great words to describe how – literally speaking – to play the game: salimpusà asking someone to participate in a game to appease him, although he is not necessarily wanted perdegana an agreement in certain games whereby the loser wins haplít the nal burst of energy when trying to win a race
Suits and tricks
If you’re
grebleyi na kon’kakh (Russian) incompetent at sports (literally, to row on skates), perhaps it’s wiser to seek alternative thrills:
aéstomêhasené (Cheyenne, U SA) to play cards for nothing; that is, to play without betting anything hila’ (Manobo, Philippines) to take a trick with a winning card
orobairi (Gilbertese, Oceania) to hit the nose of the loser in cards
Kiebitz (German) an onlooker at a card game who interferes with unwanted advice kofu kofu (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) a bet where the winner gets to hit the loser
Live entertainment
‘Those who have free tickets to the theatre have the most criticism to make,’ say the Chinese, but live entertainment can often be surprisingly enjoyable (for those taking part, that is): recevoir son morceau de sucre (French) to be applauded the moment one rst appears on stage (literally, to receive one’s piece of sugar) Sitz eisch (German) the ability to sit through long and boring events without losing concentration (literally, seat meat)
One is fun
For the Japanese, gentler pleasures su
ce:
sabi a feeling of quiet grandeur enjoyed in solitude (normally involving the beauty that comes from the natural ageing of things) shibui a transcendently beautiful and balanced image, such as an autumn garden (literally, sour, astringent)
Stories with bears
Or one could indulge one’s creative urges: brat s potolka (Russian) to make something up (literally, to take something from the ceiling) hohátôhta’hàne (Cheyenne, U SA) to laugh while storytelling
istories gia arkudes (Greek) narrated events that are so wild and crazy it seems that they can’t possibly be true (literally, stories with bears)
Bookmark
Or just kick back and enjoy the e
orts of others:
kioskvältare (Swedish) a bestselling lm/book (literally, something that tips over the booth) hinmekuru (Japanese) to turn a page over violently
ádi (Telugu, India) a mark left in a book to show the place where the reader left o
Drooping tongue
However hard you try to prevent it, our day of recreation draws to its inevitable end: bantil (Bikol, Philippines) to pinch the back of the neck to relieve weariness
traer la lengua de corbata (Latin American Spanish) to be worn out; to be exhausted (literally, to have your tongue hanging out like a man’s tie)
Nodding o
And in di
erent postures and places we drift into blessed oblivion:
corra-chodal (Gaelic) sleeping on one’s elbow
clavar el pico (Latin American Spanish) to fall asleep in a sitting position kakkawornendi (Kaurna Warra, Australia) to nod when sleeping itanochi (Alabama, U SA) to go to sleep on the oor or by a re
yum (Car, Nicobar Islands) to sleep with someone in one’s arms
Staying up
Among the Cheyenne people of the U SA, sleep may be the last thing they get up to at night: vóonâhá’ené to cook all night
vóonâhtóohe to howl all night
vóona’haso’he to ride a horse all night vóonâše’še to drink all night
vóonêhasené to play cards all night vóoneméohe to run all night vóoneóó’e to stand all night
vóonévánéne to fart all night vóonóé’ó to oat all night
vóonôhtóvá to sell all night
vóono’eétahe to have sex all night
vóonó’eohtsé to travel by wagon all night
vóonó’eohtsé to travel by wagon all night vóonotse’ohe to work all night
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
To take a sledgehammer to crack a nut mogi jabeeryuda chogasamgan da taewonda (Korean) burning your whole house trying to catch a mosquito tuo kuzi fang pi (Mandarin) to take your trousers o to fart
pire için yorgan yakmak (Turkish) to burn the duvet because of one ea
kee chang jahb thak-a-thaen (Thai) ride an elephant to catch a grasshopper
met een kanon op een mug schieten (Dutch) to shoot a mosquito with a cannon gubbi mEle bramhAstravE? (Kannada, India) a nuclear weapon on a sparrow?
18. Animal Magic
hilm il-’utaat kullu raan (Arabic)
the dream of cats is all about mice
W hen humans looked around them and saw the animals that inhabited their world they often came up with names that described what each animal looked or sounded like, or how it behaved. Among the Amerindian tribes the Navaho word for squirrel is the phrase ‘it has a bushy tail’ and the word from the Arapaho for elephant is ‘it has a bent nose’. The Mingo language was particularly expressive in this regard: uæhkwëönyö’ a peacock (literally, it puts suns all over it)
teyunö’kêôt a sheep (literally, it’s got two horns attached) këötanëhkwi a horse (literally, it hauls logs)
teka’nyakáíte’ a mole (literally, both of its hands are slanted) tewathsistúkwas a re y (literally, it scatters sparks)
tsyúwë’staka’ a seagull (literally, it is known for being around sea-foam) uthëhtææhtáne’ a caterpillar (literally, its fuzz itches)
teyu’skwææt a bull (literally, two standing stones – referring to the bull’s testicles)
The great rat with a pocket
L ikewise, when Chinese voyagers
rst saw the kangaroo they described the way it looked to them: dai shu, pocket rat, or great rat with a pocket.
The Yoruba of West Africa, unused to zebras, called them ‘striped horses’. The Indian nations of the Americas were astounded at the sight of the
horse when it appeared, brought by the early Spanish conquerors. The Aztecs thought it was a hornless deer. The Sioux named it shuñka wakãn , supernatural dog, and the Cheyenne referred to it as mo-eheno’ha, domesticated elk. Another animal new to the Cheyenne, the pig, joined their language as eshkoseesehotame, dog with sharp nose.
False friends snog (Danish) grass snake asp (Pahlavi, Iran) horse
dud (Arabic) caterpillar, worm formica (Latin) ant
hunt (Estonian) wolf hunt (Yiddish) dog
lamb (Amharic, Ethiopia) cow
long (Chinese) dragon
moron (Munduruku, Brazil) toad
Fluttering and kicking
Those peoples living closely with animals developed vocabulary to describe all sorts of precisely observed behaviour on land … vweluka (Mambwe, Zambia) to jump from branch to branch (said of a monkey)
gigigigigi (Tsonga, South Africa) to stand about dispersed and all looking intently at something in the distance, as cattle seeing a lion telki (Swahili) the quick ambling gait of a donkey, half walk, half run
thakgantse (Setswana, Botswana) to kick in all directions (as an ox when one leg is held by a thong) glamarsaich (Gaelic) the noisy lapping (as of a hungry dog) shebwoso (Potawatomi, U SA) a rabbit running fast … of sh and other creatures at sea: tekab (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a sh opening its mouth and producing bubbles
siponaina (Yamana, Chile) to go along on the surface of the water and cause a ripple, as sh do
aiagata (Yamana, Chile) to rise up on end and take a deep dive, as the whale when it raises up its ukes itupi (Mambwe, Zambia) dead sh found oating
hu-q-a (Nuuchahnulth, Canada) a salmon going along with its dorsal n out of the water … and of birds and insects on the ground and in the air: abhinibbijjhati (Pali, India) to break quite through (said of the chick coming through the shell of the egg) magaatu (Yamana, Chile) to tuck the head under the wing, as birds do when composed for sleep ava-sam-dī na (Sanskrit) the united downward ight of birds
khpa (Dakota, U SA) to be wet or clogged, as mosquitos’ wings with dew tikutamoamo (Gilbertese, Oceania) to alight everywhere (of a dragon y)
Scratch, chew, tear, beat
Some actions are common to many creatures: kwe-swanta (Ganda, U ganda) to lick one’s chops when one has not had enough to eat
kengerhele (Tsonga, South Africa) to stop suddenly in surprise, be on the alert, as animals hearing a noise kukuta (Swahili) to shake o water after getting wet, in the way a bird or dog does zeula (Kalanga, Botswana) the chewing of animals late at night hachistitabatli (Alabama, U SA) to beat the tail on the ground
imba (Mambwe, Zambia) to tear away the prey from one another, as animals ghting over food
Wriggle, wriggle
There are words for sounds too, even those surely heard only by those who live cheek by jowl with the fauna of the world:
pasáw (Tagalog, Philippines) the noise of sh wriggling in the water
rerejat (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) the noise made by a cricket on landing kíchchu (Tamil) the chirping of birds; the whining of infants
ekkaranam (Tamil) a noise which a bull makes when about to attack another
saratata (Buli, Ghana) the sound and behaviour of running animals (leaving a trail of dust in the air) tyaka-tyaka (Tsonga, South Africa) the noise of cattle crashing through dry bush
gungurhu-gungurhu-gungurhu (Tsonga, South Africa) to clatter like a rat trapped in a box andala (Arabic) the song of the nightingale atit (Arabic) the moaning bray of a camel
inchasàaya (Alabama, U SA) a rattlesnake’s rattle
Sunday roast
There are words to describe the most detailed aspects of an animal’s appearance … scory (Scots) the wrinkled texture of a hedgehog’s cheeks
gansuthi (Boro, India) the rst-grown feather of a bird’s wing kapy-āsa (Sanskrit) the buttocks of an ape sondi (Pali, India) the neck of a tortoise
sprochaille (Irish) the loose fold of skin between the legs of a turkey mokadi (Setswana, Botswana) the fat of a bullfrog
kuris (Manobo, Philippines) the fortune of a chicken written in the scales of its feet
Tucked away … how they store their food: bráða-hola (Old Icelandic) a hole where the wild beasts carry their prey wakhedan (Dakota, U SA) the places from which squirrels dig up food achnátus (Karuk, North America) a place where a rat stores its food
tsembetuta (Chichewa, Malawi) a type of mouse known for saving food for the future
indagitagan (Ojibway, North America) the place where a wild animal goes to eat in the woods
Crocodile skid … even how they behave in speci c and group ways: kekerikaki (Gilbertese, Oceania) a sh which sometimes swims backwards teosammul (Estonian) the speed of a snail
atiqtuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) bears going down to the sea
wosdohedan (Dakota, U SA) paths made by squirrels in the grass pe’mkowe’t (Potawatomi, U SA) bear tracks in the snow
lantar (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) the skidmark left on a riverbank by a boat or crocodile sliding into the water
Wa!
Originally, humans began by treating animals as hostile, to be hunted, chased away or killed: phongoloxa (Tsonga, South Africa) to throw stones or sticks at an animal to frighten it away p’isqeyay (Quechuan, Andes) to scare o birds
khapela (Tsonga, South Africa) to drive animals into another’s land so that they may do damage there bohnaskinyan (Dakota, U SA) to make an animal crazy or furious by shooting
phitsisitse (Setswana, Botswana) to kill an insect by crushing it between the nger and thumb
Down on the farm
But then came the thought of using certain breeds to their advantage: nanagi (Rapanui, Easter Island) to mark a chicken as one’s property by biting one of its toes piya (Kalanga, Botswana) to hold a goat’s leg under one’s knee while milking it
verotouaire (Gallo, France) a woman who helps a boar ( vero) to copulate with the sow ( tree) féauðnu-maðr (Old Icelandic) a man lucky with his sheep
Commanding
W ith this came a new range of calls and cries: ouk (British Columbian dialect, Canada) a command to a sledge-dog to turn right koosi (Buli, Ghana) to call chickens by smacking one’s tongue
cethreinwr (Welsh) someone who walks backwards, in front of an ox, prompting it with a combination of a song and a sharp stick
To the hand
The Scots, in particular, have a
ne collection of animal instructions:
irrnowt a shepherd’s call to his dog to pursue cattle who-yauds a call to dogs to pursue horses iss a call to a dog to attack
hut a call to a careless horse
re a call to a horse to turn to the right
shug a call to a horse to come to the hand
On re ection
Animals online
In these days of intense email use, it seems amazing that there is still no o
cial name for @. It is generally called the ‘at’ symbol. Other
languages have come up with all kinds of mostly animal nicknames. Polish calls it malpa, monkey; in Afrikaans it is aapstert, monkey’s tail; in German it is Klammera e, clinging monkey. The Finns and Swedes see it as a cat curled up with its tail. Swedish has
kattsvans,
and Finnish has at least three names for this idea: kissanhäntä , cat tail, miaumerkki, meow sign, and miukumauku, which means
something like meow-meow. In French, Korean, Indonesian, Hebrew and Italian it’s a snail. In Turkish (kulak) and Arabic ( uthun) it’s an ear, in Spanish it’s an elephant’s ear (elefantora), in Danish it’s an elephant’s trunk ( snabel), and elsewhere:
zavinac (Czech) pickled herring
xiao lao-shu (Taiwanese) little mouse kukac (Hungarian) worm or maggot sobachka (Russian) little dog papaki (Greek) duckling
grisehale (Norwegian) curly pig’s tail
grisehale (Norwegian) curly pig’s tail kanelbulle (Swedish) cinnamon roll gül (Turkish) rose
Aw, aw !
As does the Pashto language of Afghanistan and Pakistan: drhey
when addressing sheep
eekh eekh
when addressing camels
asha asha
when addressing donkeys
aw aw
when addressing oxen
tsh tsh
when addressing horses
kutsh kutsh
when addressing dogs
How to count on your chickens
In the Gallo dialect in France there is some very speci
c vocabulary about ensuring that there are always enough eggs:
un anijouet an egg left in a hen’s nest to encourage it to lay more in the same place chaponner to stick a nger up a chicken’s bottom to see if it is laying an egg
Man’s best friend
It’s hardly surprising that that species thought of as closest to humans is described in the most loving detail: agkew (Manobo, Philippines) to try to snatch food which is hung up out of reach (said of a dog) manàntsona (Malagasy, Madagascar) to smell or sni before entering a house, as a dog does ihdaśna (Dakota, U SA) to miss in biting oneself, as a dog trying to bite its own tail
kwiiua-iella (Yamana, Chile) to bite and leave, as a dog does with a strong animal it cannot kill amulaw (Bikol, Philippines) the barking of dogs in pursuit of game
Roof-gutter rabbit
Our second favourite animal is less loyal and more sel
sh, but brings us luck if it crosses our path:
lapin de gouttière (French) a cat (literally, roof-gutter rabbit)
echafoureré (Gallo, France) a tickled cat hiding under a table or chair
bilāra-nissakkana (Pali, India) large enough for a cat to creep through
amotóm (Cheyenne, U SA) to carry something in the mouth (said especially of a mother cat)
bvoko (Tsonga, South Africa) to spring unsuccessfully at or after, as a cat springs at a mouse which just saves itself
Gee gee
Next up has to be the one that has always helped us get around, and has also let us experience speed, excitement and other less welcome sensations: asvatthāma (Sanskrit) having the strength of a horse
lekgetla (Setswana, Botswana) the droop of the ears of a tired horse
dzádintsu (Telugu, India) to ap about as a horse does his tail, to reprove by speech cagailt (Gaelic) a roll of chewed grass in a horse’s mouth
ibiihokcho (Alabama, U SA) to pass gas in someone’s face (as a horse will)
Moo
Fourth on our list is free to roam in India, enjoying its sacred status, while elsewhere it o
ers sustenance of more than one kind:
kárámpasu (Tamil) a cow whose udder is black, held in great esteem by the Hindus
nyakula (Lozi, Niger-Congo) to try to untie itself by kicking (as a cow tied up by its legs)
silehile (Lozi, Niger-Congo) to besmirch with dung the teats of a cow which refuses to be milked, in order to keep its calf away deothas (Gaelic) the longing or eagerness of a calf for its mother
clardingo (Welsh) to ee in panic from a warble- y (said of a herd of cows) gokuradiya (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) the water in a hole made by a cow’s hoof
Drinking twice
W e rarely see our
fth and last away from a zoo or safari park, but in the wild this creature certainly lives up to the poet’s description as
‘Nature’s great masterpiece’: dvi-pa (Sanskrit) an elephant (literally, drinking twice – with his trunk and his mouth) gagau (Malay) an elephant picking up with its trunk
polak (Hindi) straw tied to the end of a bamboo stick which is used to frighten and restrain a furious elephant isīkā (Sanskrit) an elephant’s eyeball
tun-mada (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) an elephant in rut, alluding to the three liquids which exude from him in the rutting season, namely from his temples, his eyes and his penis
Flying low
And then there are those others that we admire, but generally only from a distance: arspag (Gaelic) the largest seagull
tihunyi (Tsonga, South Africa) a crested cuckoo which sings before the rains and reminds people to collect rewood jimbi (Luvale, Zambia) a bird which does not yet sing
sarad (Manobo, Philippines) to y low, at about the height of a coconut palm
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched
Swahili advises us not to curse the crocodile before we’ve crossed the river and there are all kinds of similar warnings from around the world about not being too hasty: mithl ilh yibi’ samak
al bahar (Arabic) it’s like selling sh still in the sea
man skal ikke sælge skindet, før bjørnen er skudt (Danish) one should not sell the fur before the bear has been shot älä nuolaise ennen kuin pöydällä tipahtaa (Finnish) don’t start licking it up before it drops onto the table guthimba ti kuura (Kikuyu, Kenya) having rain clouds is not the same as having rain
na neroden Petko kapa mu skroile (Macedonian) they sewed a hat to Peter who is not born yet tsiplyat po oseni schitayut (Russian) one should count chicks in autumn
ne govori gop, poka ne pereskochish (Russian) don’t say hop until you jumped over
ino manga ondjupa ongombe inaayi vala (Ndonga, Namibia) don’t hang the churning calabash before the cow has calved non dire gatto se non l’hai nel sacco (Italian) never say ‘cat’ if you have not got it in your sack
dereyi görmeden paçalari sivama (Turkish) do not roll up your trouser legs before you see the stream
19. Climate Change
gode ord skal du hogge i berg, de dårligere i snø (Norwegian) carve your good words in stone, the bad in snow
Tiwilight
The world goes round, and at innumerable di
erent times, the day begins. Down in the Antipodes, the Tiwi people of northern Australia
describe the sequence before the sun nally appears: arawunga early morning before dawn
tokwampari early morning when birds sing yartijumurra darkness before daylight wujakari rst light before sunrise
The dawn chorus
The Hungarians have a speci
c word – hajnalpir – for the rst blush of dawn; the Japanese distinguish ariake, dawn when the moon is still
showing; while the German word Morgengrauen (literally, morning greying) describes both the horror of the morning and its grey and sunless colour.
Sun’s up
In the Dakota language of the U SA, the moon is
hangyetuwi, the night-sun. Come dawn it can no longer compete with anpetuwi, the day-sun:
glukocharazo (Greek) to glow in the dawn light tavanam (Tamil) the heat of the sun
amaśtenaptapta (Dakota, U SA) the glimmering of vapour in the sun’s heat
greigh (Gaelic) the uncommon heat of the sun after bursting out from behind a cloud
Weather report
Ah, that famous topic, food for hundreds of thousands of conversations every day. And we are not alone in observing and describing its many moods: pestpokkenweer (Dutch) dirty rotten weather dul’avā (Virdainas, Baltics) fog with drizzle
cilala (Bemba, Zambia) the dry spell in a rainy season
boule (Scots) a gap, break; an opening in the clouds betokening ne weather
Postkartenwetter (German) the kind of weather that is too wonderful to be real (literally, postcard weather)
Heat haze
The secondary meanings of weather terms are often very evocative of the climate they describe. For instance, the Scots description of heat haze – summer- aws – is also used for a swarm of gnats dancing in the air; while the Yamana of Chile the air seen over a re.
unda-tu also describes the wavy appearance of
The wind of change
Beautifully still conditions never last for long, certainly not in this country: pew (Scots) the least breath of wind or smoke; the least ripple on the sea sivisivivi (Mailu, Papua New Guinea) marks on water of a coming wind
kacee (Tsonga, South Africa) to feel a breeze or smell coming towards one fuaradh-froik (Gaelic) the breeze preceding a shower
False friends dim (Bosnian) smoke
estate (Italian) summer
lung (Sherpa, Nepal) air santa (Bosnian) iceberg
tall (Arabic) hill, elevation
Storm warning
W e can always sense that moment when things are on the turn: oi (Vietnamese) to be sultry, muggy, hot and sticky tvankas (Virdainas, Baltics) stu y air
bingo (Chewa, South East Africa) the distant roll of thunder
gwangalakwahla (Tsonga, South Africa) a thunderclap is very near
kixansiksuya (Dakota, U SA) to know by one’s feelings that unpleasant weather is due
Sunshine shower
After the storm, the rain is lighter, subtler; indeed, it may not be clear quite what’s going on: tmoq yungay (Aboriginal Tayal, Taiwan) a light rain (literally, monkey piss) fa-fa-fa (Tsonga, South Africa) to fall in a shower of drops mvula-tshikole (Venda, South Africa) rain with sunshine
ördög veri a feleségét (Hungarian) the devil is hitting his wife (usually said when the sun is shining but rain is falling at the same time)
ördög veri a feleségét (Hungarian) the devil is hitting his wife (usually said when the sun is shining but rain is falling at the same time) bijregenboog (Dutch) a secondary rainbow
In a ood
Down on the ground, everything changes: douh (Somali) a dry watercourse which turns into a fast-moving stream after every downpour
calalalala (Tsonga, South Africa) to come down, as a river in a ood; a glitter (of a large expanse of water or an army with polished weapons) túvánam (Tamil) rain driven by the wind through the doors or windows
zolilinga (Luvale, Zambia) the watermark made by rain (as on a wooden door)
Soaking up the weather
And all kinds of fun can be had: edtimbulan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to walk in the rain wadlopen (Dutch) to walk sloshing through seamud chokok (Malay) to splash water in fun
dynke (Norwegian) the act of dunking somebody’s face in snow
kram snø (Norwegian) snow which is sticky (excellent for making snowballs and snowmen)
On re ection
You sh on your side…
Several places in Norway and Sweden are simply called
Å. It means river in various Scandanavian languages, but that’s all the name tells
us about them. But if you go for something rather longer, an awful lot of information can be contained in a name. For instance, Webster Lake in Massachussetts, U SA, is also known as
Chargoggagoggmanchauggauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg which was a native word for a neutral shing place near a boundary, a meeting and shing spot shared by several tribes. A popular
interpretation is: ‘You sh on your side, I sh on my side, nobody shes in the middle.’ The longest placename still in regular use is for a hill in New Zealand. The ninety-letter Maori name
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturi
pukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu
means ‘The brow of the hill where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, who slid, climbed and ate mountains, the great traveller, sat and played on the ute to his beloved.’
Compass comparisons
The sun features strongly in how other cultures have described the compass points. The Mingo of the U SA describe north as
te’kææhkwææhkö,
the sun isn’t there; and west as hekææhkwë’s, the sun habitually drops down over there. The Bambara people of Mali have more complicated associations:
EAST is the colour white; the land of the dead and of wild and domestic animals.
WEST is the land of the ‘sunset people’ and of birds; the source of custom and of all goodness and loveliness.
NORTH is identi ed with the seventh heaven, a far distant country, the dwelling of the great god Faro, who created the world in all its present form; the north is the home of all water creatures – sh, crocodiles and frogs.
SOU TH is peopled by plants and the evil beings whom Faro was forced to destroy at the beginning of time, because they had stolen speech
SOU TH is peopled by plants and the evil beings whom Faro was forced to destroy at the beginning of time, because they had stolen speech from him; the home of pollution.
Coucher de soleil
Rain or shine, windy or still, the sun sinks down towards the horizon, and the day winds towards its close: tainunu (Gilbertese, Oceania) the time when shadows lengthen in the late afternoon
pakupaku (Rapanui, Easter Island) to come down in a straight line like the rays of the sun sig (Sumerian, Mesopotamia) the colour of the low setting sun (reddish-yellow or gold) iltarusko (Finnish) sunset glow
ahiahi-ata (Rapanui, Easter Island) the last moments of light before nightfall
Silver goddess
Darkness falls, and the night-sun reappears, bringing with it mystery and magic: jyótsnā (Sanskrit) a moonlight night
yakmoez (Turkish) the e ect of moonlight sparkling on water
kuunsilta (Finnish) the long re ection of the moon when it is low in the sky and shining on the calm surface of a lake (literally, moon bridge) hasi istitta-ammi (Alabama, U SA) to bathe one’s face in the moon, wash the face four times in moonlight
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
It’s raining cats and dogs ou vrouens met knopkieries reen (Afrikaans) it’s raining old women with clubs padají trakaře (Czech) it’s raining wheelbarrows
det regner skomagerdrenge (Danish) it’s raining shoemakers’ apprentices het regent pijpenstelen (Dutch) it’s raining pipestems
baron mesleh dobeh asb mirized (Persian) it’s raining like the tail of the horse brékhei kareklopódara (Greek) it’s raining chair legs
il pleut comme vache qui pisse (French) it’s raining like a pissing cow es regnet Schusterbuben (German) it’s raining young cobblers
estan lloviendo hasta maridos (Spanish) it’s even raining husbands
20. The Root of All Evil
ahjar habib s-suq minn mitt skud s-senduq (Maltese)
a friend in the market is better than one hundred gold coins in the chest A frog’s armpit
‘Don’t o
er me advice, give me money,’ say the Spanish – and who would disagree, certainly if they’re in a tight spot nancially:
mas limpio que sobaco de rana (Venezuelan Spanish) broke (literally, cleaner than a frog’s armpit)
auf den Hund kommen (German) to be broke (literally, to get to the dog; in medieval times, a dog was painted on the bottom of money chests – if you could see the dog, you had run out of money)
n’avoir plus un radis (French) to be stone broke (literally, to be without a single radish)
kukla (Russian) a roll of bills in which the inner bills have been replaced by worthless paper (literally, a doll)
Cutting gold
Most of us would be more than happy with an easy escape from such an unfortunate predicament: gaji buta (Malay) getting paid without having to work
att skära guld med täljkniv (Swedish) to make money with very little e ort (literally, to cut gold with a pocket knife) dawo (Yoruba, Nigeria, Benin and Togo) to produce money by magic
Gifted
W hile others
nd di erent ways to stay a oat:
pakimkím (Tagalog, Philippines) money given by a godparent hustrulon (Swedish) a wife’s salary
namidakin (Japanese) a small amount of consolation money (literally, tear money) pujo (Korean) a congratulatory gift or condolence money
Up against it
It’s certainly true that the folding stu
can be elusive; and the occasion when you really need it may be the one time you are unable to nd it:
ipatapata (Lozi, Niger-Congo) to try hard to nd money with which to make an urgent purchase lukupu (Mambwe, Zambia) to miss gaining riches by a narrow margin
On the oor
W hen you do
nally get some, for heaven’s sake be careful with it:
pagar el piso (Chilean Spanish) to take out all your friends and pay with the rst pay packet from your new job (literally, to pay for the oor) madyelakhwirhini (Tsonga, South Africa) a man who immediately spends all he earns and sends nothing home; a spendthrift peaglatata (Dakota, U SA) to exhaust one’s own supply by giving to others
It’s the thought that counts
To demonstrate their wealth, the Kwakiutl Indians of Vancouver Island destroyed it. Their chiefs publicly burned food, blankets, canoes and ornaments in the ceremony of potlatch, a word that means ‘giving’. A potlatch might be held for a variety of reasons, which varied from group
to group, but included puberty rites and death commemorations. It involved a great feast at which the host lavishly distributed valuable property to all the assembled guests. The hitch was that the guests had to reciprocate at some future date – with interest of up to 100 per cent.
An umbrella at midnight
Two proverbs from the Kannada language of Southern India speak eloquently of the paradoxes of getting rich.
HalliddAga kaDle illa; kaDle
iddAga hallilla – there are no nuts when one has teeth and there are no teeth when there are nuts; in other words, when you are young you have no money, and when you have money the chance of enjoying it is often gone. But perhaps this is all as it should be. For the second proverb
points up the absurdity of some people’s behaviour when they are in a t state to enjoy their money: Aishwarya bandre ardha rAthrili koDe
hiDkonDa – when a poor fellow gets rich, he has an umbrella over his head at midnight; which is to say that a newly wealthy man will aunt the symbol of the well-o , a parasol to shield him from the sun, even in the dark.
False friends Reformhaus (German) health food store
top (Dutch) done! agreed! it’s a bargain!
stershit (Albanian) to sell everything that one has Detail (German) retail
hamstring (Swedish) hoarding (derives from hamster) male (Italian) bad, wicked
Cowherd’s cake
Sometimes the destitute may just have to make do with a payment in kind: legopelo (Setswana, Botswana) a piece of meat that is given to someone who has helped skin a cow
angauriyā (Hindi) a ploughman making use of a farmer’s plough instead of receiving wages in money or kind bonnach-iomanach (Gaelic) a cowherd’s cake (a special reward for good herding at calving time) matao ni bwe (Gilbertese, Oceania) the price paid in sh for the loan of a canoe or shing net
On re ection
To see thirty-six candles
The French refer to many things in terms of the number thirty-six: j’ai trente-six choses à faire I have many things to do
tous les trente-six du mois once in a blue moon (literally, each thirty-sixth of the month)
faire les trente-six volontés de quelqu’un to be at someone’s beck and call (literally, to do the thirty-six wills of someone) voir trente-six chandelles to see stars after getting hit on the head (literally, to see thirty-six candles)
Stall
‘Gol’ na vydumku khitra,’ say the Russians – poverty is crafty; and it’s surely true that having no money can become the spur for entrepreneurial activity, even of the most basic kind: bahu (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to barter food for money
ditan (Chinese) a street vendor’s stand (with the goods spread out on the ground) higgler (Jamaican creole) a person selling fruit and vegetables by the roadside gujrī (Hindi) a roadside market set up in the late afternoons
sitoa (Gilbertese, Oceania) a small trading ship whose decks are set up as stores chelnoki (Russian) shuttle traders (who buy goods from the back of lorries)
limpiaparabrisas (Mexican Spanish) street kids who gather at intersections with tra c lights and rush to wash the windscreen of cars waiting for the lights to change and then demand to be paid
Red shells out, white shells back
The Kiriwina of the Trobriand Islands in the Paci
c have an elaborate gift exchange system called the kula. The islanders set o round the
islands in large, ocean-going canoes and trade red shell necklaces (veigun) in a clockwise direction, and white shell bracelets ( mwali) in an anticlockwise direction. The round trip is several hundred miles.
The art of selling
There’s a lot of skill (even magic) in encouraging people to part with their hard-earned dosh: spruik (Australian slang) to talk to attract customers; to hold forth like a showman verlierlen (Yiddish) to lose a customer to a fellow salesman vparivat’ (Russian) to palm o defective goods
fare orecchie da mercante (Italian) pretending not to understand (literally, to have a merchant’s ears)
palulud (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a charm that is supposed to have the power to attract customers
Smoke and mirrors
Although the further up the scale you go, the less need you have for actual goods: muhaqala (Arabic) the sale of grain while still in growth, dealing in grain futures
dymoprodukt (Russian) an advertised product that is not yet being produced (literally, smoke product) wheeler (Scots) one who bids at an auction simply to raise the price
One-armed bandit
There are, of course, other ways of making money, if you’re prepared to take a chance:
agi (Maranao, Philippines) to win continually in gambling
airi (Maranao, Philippines) to bet again on a card which has just won an non (Vietnamese) to quit gambling as soon as one has won
balato (Tagalog, Philippines) money given away by a winning gambler as a sign of goodwill
Losers
However, even the most hardened practitioners know that in the long run the betting tables don’t pay. As the Germans say, ‘Young gamblers, old beggars’: borona (Malagasy, Madagascar) having nothing with which to pay money lost in betting biho (Maranao, Philippines) a bet, money asked for from winners by losers
pelasada (Maranao, Philippines) the percentage taken from bets by the owner of a gambling place
Tokyo tricks
The Japanese have two words to describe what happens as the temptation to cheat gets stronger: dakko the icking movement of the palm that will send goods up into the sleeve
dosa a player with an exceptionally bad hand who will ick a compromising card up his sleeve and quickly substitute a more favourable one
Retail therapy
So what to do with it when you
nally have it? Why, hit the streets, of course; and this is an occupation, if not an art, in itself:
faire du lèche-vitrines (French) to go window-shopping (literally, to lick windows)
chokuegambo (Japanese) the wish that there were more designer-brand shops on a given street; the desire to buy things at luxury brand shops arimuhunán (Tagalog, Philippines) something worth taking although not needed emax (Latin) fond of buying
You’re safer with prison
W hat a
ne array of products the world has in its shop window:
Atum Bom Portuguese tinned tuna Bimbo Mexican biscuits
Kevin French aftershave Polio Czech detergent
Vaccine Dutch aftershave Flirt Austrian cigarettes
Meltykiss Japanese chocolate Climax Kenyan disinfectant
Hot Piss Japanese antifreeze spray
Naked New Zealand fruit and nut bar Noisy French butter
Last Climax Japanese tissues Happy Swedish chocolate
Prison U gandan body spray
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
As easy as falling o a log
så let som at klø sig i nakken (Danish) as easy as scratching the back of your neck
semudah membalikkan telapak tangan (Indonesian) as easy as turning your palm around facile come bere un bicchier d’acqua (Italian) as easy as drinking a glass of water
asameshi mae (Japanese) before breakfast (something that’s so easy, you could nish it before breakfast) nuwoseo tdeokmeokki (Korean) lying on one’s back and eating rice cakes
tereyağýndan kýl çeker gibi (Turkish) as if pulling a strand of hair from butter ežiku ponjatno (Russian) understandable to a hedgehog
21. The Criminal Life
le diable chie toujours au même endroit (French) the devil always shits in the same place
Tea leaf
W hy work, or even gamble for that matter, when there are far easier ways of enriching yourself ? lipoushka (Russian) a stick with a gluey end for stealing money from a counter (literally, ypaper) butron (Spanish) a type of jacket with inner pockets worn by shoplifters
levare le scarpe (Italian) to steal the tyres from a car (literally, to take someone else’s shoes o )
rounstow (Scots) to cut o the ears of a sheep, and so obliterate its distinctive marks of ownership
False friends bait (Arabic) incentive or motive
egg (Norwegian, Swedish) knife edge gulp (Afrikaans) to slit, gush, spout guru (Japanese) a partner in crime
plaster (Hebrew) deceitful or fraudulent roof (Dutch) robbery
Gangland
Although once you step over that line, who knows what company you may be forced to keep: ladenlichter (Dutch) a till-robber
pisau cukur (Malay) a female hustler who cons men into giving her money
harza-duzd (Persian) someone who steals something of no use to him or anyone else
adukalipewo (Mandinka, West Africa) a highway robber (literally, give me the purse)
belochnik (Russian) a thief specializing in stealing linen o clothes lines (this was very lucrative in the early 1980s)
Scissorhand
Considerable skill, experience and bravado may be required for success: forbice (Italian) pickpocketing by putting the index and middle ngers into the victim’s pocket (literally, scissors) cepat tangan (Malay) quick with the hands (in pickpocketing or shoplifting or hitting someone)
poniwata (Korean) a victim who at rst glance looks provincial and not worth robbing, but on closer scrutiny shows de nite signs of hidden wealth
komissar (Russian) a robber who impersonates a police o cer
And sometimes even magic: walala (Luvale, Zambia) a thieves’ fetish which is supposed to keep people asleep while the thief steals za-koosirik (Buli, Ghana) a person who transfers the plants of a neighbour’s eld to his own by magic
On re ection
Lost in translation
In their eagerness to move into and conquer new markets, many huge Western companies forgot to do their homework. When the name Microsoft was rst translated into Chinese, they went for a literal translation of the two parts of the name which, unfortunately, meant ‘small and accid’.
Pepsi’s famous slogan ‘Come Alive with Pepsi’ was dropped in China after it was translated as ‘Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave’.
When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather rst-class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its ‘Fly in Leather’ campaign literally, but vuela en cuero meant ‘Fly Naked’ in Spanish.
Colgate introduced in France a toothpaste called Cue, the name of a notorious pornographic magazine. Coca-Cola was horri ed to discover that its name was rst read by the Chinese as kekoukela, meaning either ‘bite the wax tadpole’ or
‘female horse stu ed with wax’, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to nd a phonetic equivalent – kokou kole – which translates as ‘happiness in the mouth’
Kindling
Their trains and tubes are punctual to the nearest second; equal e
ciency seems to characterize those Japanese who take criminal advantage of
such crowded environments: nakanuku, inside pull-out: to carefully slip one’s hand into a victim’s trouser pocket, draw out the wallet, ick it open, whip out cash and credit cards, close it and slip it back into the victim’s trouser pocket
oitore, walking next to a well-dressed victim, plunging a razor-sharp instrument into his attaché case and cutting the side open
okinagashi, put and ow: those who climb on a local train at one station, grab bags and coats, cameras and camcorders, and then jump o at the following station
takudasu, kindle and pull out: to drop, as if by mistake, a lit cigarette into a victim’s jacket or open shirt, and then, while the victim is
frantically trying to locate the burning butt, come to his aid, helping him unbutton and frisk through jacket, shirt and undershirt, taking the opportunity to lift wallets and other valuables out of pockets and bags
Descending spiders
Nor does this
ne vocabulary dry up when describing the activity of Japanese burglars: maemakuri, lifting the skirt from the front, means they
enter through the front gates; while shirimakuri, lifting the skirt from behind, describes entry through a gate or fence at the rear of the house. One obvious hazard is the gabinta, the dog, that starts barking or snarling at the intruders (the word literally means ‘this animal has no respect for its superiors’). There is only one way to deal with such an obstacle: inukoro o abuseru, the deadly pork chop, otherwise known as shū tome o
kudoku, silencing one’s mother-in-law. Once at the door you confront the mimochi musume, the lock (literally, the pregnant daughter), who must be handled with the softest of touches, unless of course you are in possession of the nezumi, the mice (or master keys).
As for the crooks themselves, they come in all varieties. There is the sagarigumo, or descending spider, the man or woman who braves the
slippery tiles of the roof to reach their target; the denshinkasegi, the telegram breadwinners, who get there by shinning up telephone poles; the
shinobikomi, thieves who enter crawling; the odorikomi, who enter ‘dancing’, i.e. brash criminals with guns; the mae, or fronts, debonair thieves who simply walk up to the main door; or the super-sly ninkātā , who leaves no trace: the master thief.
There is the ichimaimono, the thief who works alone; and the hikiai, those who pull together, i.e. partners in crime. There are nitchū shi,
broad-daylight specialists, and yonashi, night specialists; even miyashi, shrine specialists. There are akisunerai, empty-nest targeters, those who
specialize in targeting unattended houses; neshi, sleep specialists, the men who target bedrooms after the loot has been assembled and packed; and even evil tsukeme, literally, touching eyes: thieves who barge into bedrooms to rape sleeping victims.
Radish with glasses
Not content with colourful descriptions of robbers, the Japanese have an extensive vocabulary for cops too: there are the
gokiburi, the
cockroaches, policemen on motorcycles, who can follow burglars over pavements and through parks; the kazaguruma, the windmill, an o cer who circles the streets and alleys, getting closer and closer to the area where the criminals are working; the daikon megane, the radish with
glasses, the naive young o cer who’s not going to be a problem for the experienced crook; or the more problematic oji, the uncle, the dangerous middle-aged patrolman who knows all the members of the gang by name and is liable to blow the whistle rst and ask questions later. As if that wasn’t enough, policemen on those overcrowded islands can also be described as
aobuta (blue pigs), en (monkeys), etekō (apes),
karasu (crows), aokarasu (blue crows), itachi (weasels), ahiru (ducks), hayabusa (falcons), ahō dori (idiotic birds, or albatrosses), kē (dogs), barori (Korean for pig), and koyani (cat, from the Korean koyangi). O cers even turn into insects such as hachi (bees), dani (ticks), kumo (spiders), mushi (bugs) and kejirami (pubic lice).
When crimes go wrong
‘Punishment,’ say the Spanish, ‘is a cripple, but it arrives.’ Criminals may get away with it for a while, but in the end justice of some kind generally catches up with them: chacha (Korean) the disastrous act of each gang member dashing down a di erent alley
afersata (Amharic, Ethiopia) the custom, when a crime is committed, of rounding up all local inhabitants in an enclosure until the guilty person is revealed
andare a picco (Italian) to sink (to be wanted by the police)
cizyatiko (Mambwe, Zambia) to make a man believe that he is safe so as to make time for others to arrest him panier à salade (French) a salad shaker (a police van)
annussāveti (Pali, India) to proclaim aloud the guilt of a criminal
Pig box
All except the perpetrator are happy to see that anyone taking the immoral shortcut to personal enrichment ends up in a very bad place: obez’ yannik (Russian) a detention ward in a police station (literally, monkey house)
obez’ yannik (Russian) a detention ward in a police station (literally, monkey house) butabako (Japanese) the cooler, clink (literally, pig box)
bufala (Italian) a meat ration distributed in jail (literally, shebu alo – so called because of its toughness)
Into the pit
And society may exact its just deserts: gbaa ose (Igbo, Nigeria) to rub in pepper by way of punishment or torture
kitti (Tamil) a kind of torture in which the hands, ears or noses of culprits are pressed between two sticks
dhautī (Sanskrit) a kind of penance (consisting of washing a strip of white cloth, swallowing it and then drawing it out of the mouth)
ráhu-mukhaya (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a punishment in icted on criminals in which the tongue is forced out and wrapped in cloth soaked in oil and set on re
barathrum (Ancient Greek) a deep pit into which condemned criminals were thrown to die tu-tù (Vietnamese) a prisoner ready for the electric chair
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
As thick as thieves aralarindan su sizmaz (Turkish) not even water can pass between them
entendre comme cul et chemise (French) to get along like one’s buttocks and shirt uni comme les doigts de la main (French) tied like the ngers of a hand
una y carne ser como (Spanish)/como una y mugre (Mexican Spanish) to be ngernail and esh/like a ngernail and its dirt sange paye ghazwin (Persian) as thick as volcanic stone
22. Realpolitik
em rio que tem piranha, jacaré nada de costas ( Brazilian Portuguese) in a piranha-infested river, alligators do backstroke
Pipe and sunshade
Once upon a time life was straightforward: the chief ran the show and everyone fell in behind: pfhatla-pfhatla (Tsonga, South Africa) to make a present to the chief to abate his anger tarriqu-zan (Persian) an o cer who clears the road for a prince chātra (Pali, India) one who carries his master’s sunshade
vwatika (Mambwe, Zambia) to place the pipe in the mouth of the chief
kapita mwene (Mambwe, Zambia) the time of the stroll taken by the chief (between 9 and 10 p.m., when everyone had retired, the chief would go about quietly, eavesdropping to nd out those talking about him)
magani (Mindanao, Philippines) the custom of obtaining leadership and the right to wear red clothes through killing a certain number of people
tirai (Tamil) a tribute paid by one king to another more powerful
ramanga (Betsileo, Madagascar) a group of men whose business is to eat all the nail-parings and to lick up all the spilt blood of the nobles (literally, blue blood)
mangkat (Indonesian) to die for one’s king or queen
A gift
Things weren’t so great for those at the bottom of the pile, however interesting their duties: ravey (Manobo, Philippines) to enslave someone because he didn’t obey a command dapa (Malay) a slave-messenger sent as a gift with a proposal of marriage
dayo (Bikol, Philippines) a slave who stands guard over the grave of a leading member of the community so that the body will not be disinterred by sorcerers
pachal (Malay) a slave of a slave
golamkhana (Bengali) a factory for imbuing people with a slave mentality
False friends tank (Tocharic, Turkey) to interfere tilts (Latvian) bridge
Transparent (German) banner, placard
bingo (Kapampangan, Philippines) chip in a blade doshman (Romani) enemy exito (Spanish) success
Parole (German) motto, slogan
Changing shirts
Democracy freed us from the old hierarchies and gave us the power to choose our own destinies … valboskap (Swedish) ignorant voters (who vote as they are told)
qualunquismo (Italian) an attitude of indi erence to political and social issues apocheirotonesis (Ancient Greek) a rejection by a show of hands
chaquetero (Central American Spanish) someone who changes political ideas as easily as changing shirts porros (Mexican Spanish) thugs who stand around polling stations and intimidate voters
Full poodle … with leaders directly answerable to us and our interests: phak kanmuang (Thai) political parties that become active only during or prior to elections
Politpopper (German) politically correct and correctly dressed (literally, a square politician)
göra en hel Pudel (Swedish) a politician, or some other well-known person who has done something bad, publicly admitting being bad but promising not to do it again and humbly asking for forgiveness (literally, do a full poodle)
Mu ed
Perhaps we just have to accept that the political mindset is never going to change that radically: aincātānī (Hindi) the manipulation and manoeuvring, tugging and pulling, a struggle inspired by sel sh motives ccarsi (Italian) to get access to a group to gain advantages from them
başina çorap örmek (Turkish) to plot against someone (literally, to knit a sock for the head)
akal bulus (Indonesian) a cunning ploy (literally, a turtle’s trick) akarnok (Hungarian) someone with unscrupulous ambition
Power corrupts
It’s commonly accepted that there are all kinds of uno
cial extra bene ts to being in power. The phrase in the Sinhala language of Sri Lanka
for a local member of parliament, dheshapaalana adhikaari, also means crook and someone born out of wedlock: sglaim (Gaelic) a great deal of the good things of life acquired in a questionable way dedocratico (Spanish) an undemocratic appointment to a governmental position zalatwic (Polish) using acquaintances to accomplish things uno cially
bal tutan parmağini yalar (Turkish proverb) a person who holds the honey licks his nger (a person given a job involving valuables will gain some bene t for himself)
kazyonnovo kozla za khvost poderzhat – mozhno shubu sshit’ (Russian proverb) just even from having once held a state goat’s tail one can make a fur coat (i.e. an o cial can make money by bribes)
On re ection
Tail between legs
Many everyday English words are derived from other languages. Finding out more about their roots often casts a fascinating new light on the word itself: accolade derives from the French accoler (to embrace) because knighthoods were initially conferred with an embrace agony comes from the Ancient Greek agonia (contest): the athletes in training for the Olympic Games put their bodies through intense discipline to reach the peak of tness, denying themselves normal pleasures and enduring punishing physical tests
coward comes from the Old French couard (tail) and thus we have the image of a dog retreating with its tail between its legs jargon comes from the Old French word jargoun (twittering), the sound made by birds, incomprehensible to others muscle is descended from the Latin word musculus (little mouse), a rather apt description of the moving and changing form under the skin, especially of the arms and legs
Talk box
The language of politics is famous for both
rollo (Spanish), the long boring speech (literally, a paper roll), and for double speak. All round the
world it’s very important to listen extremely closely to what politicans say – and to what they don’t: borutela (Tsonga, South Africa) to praise another in his presence but malign him behind his back
feleka (Setswana, Botswana) to speak so as to conceal one’s meaning; to be intentionally ambiguous chíndugirathu (Tamil) to give a sign by pressing with the nger, unobserved by any third party
tok bokkis (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a way of giving words hidden meanings (literally, talk box) achakiy (Quechuan, Andes) to say one thing and do something else
Problem solving
The Bambuti people of Congo have no chiefs or formal system of government; problems and disputes are solved by general discussion often involving the use of humour. Elsewhere, people have other ways of achieving agreement: taraadin (Arabic) a compromise; a way of solving a problem without anyone losing face
mochi (Chinese) the rapport or teamwork that enables people to cooperate smoothly (literally, silent contract)
remettre les pendules à l’heure (French) to re-align something, for example, in establishing who is the boss, or how we work (literally, to set the clocks at the right time again)
biritululo (Kiriwani, Papua New Guinea) comparing yams to settle a dispute
War elephants
W hat a shame that such delightful methods can’t be universally employed. But from the start of time dispute-resolution has often been alarmingly violent: gazi (Mauritanian dialect) a plundering raid in which at least forty camels are employed falurombolás (Hungarian) the destruction of villages
Schrecklichkeit (German) a deliberate policy of terrorizing non-combatants
edsabil (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to ght until death for the cause of Allah nuulone (Anywa, Nilo-Saharan) a victory dance with ri es after a war
Cancer forces
All that’s changed over the years is the deadliness of the weapons used: dagadaga (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) a machine gun
plofstof (Afrikaans) explosive (literally, pu /bang stu ) springstof (Dutch) an explosive (literally, jump matter)
rakovye voiska (Russian) strategic missile forces (literally, cancer forces – referring to the numerous cancerous diseases caused by radiation)
Heroes
On the battle
eld itself individuals make extraordinary sacri ces …
lwa manyanga (Mambwe, Zambia) to ght one another crawling along on all fours
mamakakaua (Hawaiian) the leading man in battle who bears the brunt of the ghting ohiampunut (Finnish) one who has survived in battle (literally, shot/ red past) abhí-vī ra (Sanskrit) surrounded by heroes
Yellow-bellies … or not, as the case may be: ngivhe (Venda, South Africa) to hit with the butt-end of a spear (a blow given as a warning to escape) ra zat (Persian) a body of soldiers who deserted their commander and retreated
imboscarsi (Italian) to lie in ambush, to evade military service, to avoid working, or to retreat to a secluded place to make love (literally, to take to the woods)
palias (Maranao, Philippines) the power or magic which protects its possessor from a bullet in battle
Handschuhschneeballwerfer (German) somebody who wears gloves to throw snowballs – used in general for all cowards
War trophies
There are no limits to cruelty, savagery and treachery: liput (Manobo, Philippines) to throw someone o guard, through an appearance of goodwill, in order to kill him
usauara (Yamana, Chile) to shout, as a group of men, when ready to make an assault on someone they intend to kill áhaneoha’ov (Cheyenne, U SA) to kill someone by stepping on him
tsantsa (Jivaro, Ecuador) a human head shrunken and dried as a war trophy tzompantli (Aztec) a rack of skulls
Legacy
But when it’s all over, what are we left with? aidos (Ancient Greek) the understanding of the need for humility at the point of victory
Gleichgültigkeit (German) the feeling of dreadful moral insensibility and detachment which is a peculiar legacy of wars
Cucumbers and shaving brushes
And, all too often, a large standing army. Who better than the Russians to tell us all about the realities of that sort of organization? ogourets a soldier in his rst six months of service (literally, a cucumber – referring to the colour green, which signi es inexperience) pomazok a soldier who has served more than one year and is therefore released from certain menial tasks (literally, a shaving brush) chelovek-am biya a soldier on dishwashing duty (literally, an amphibian man)
khoronit’ okourok a punishment for soldiers who drop their cigarette butts on the ground; when even one such butt is found all soldiers are woken up in the middle of the night and forced to spend hours digging deep holes to bury individual butts
lekarstvo ot lyubvi two years of army service (literally, a cure for love, meaning that girlfriends rarely wait for soldiers to come home)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark hay un gato encerrado (Spanish) there’s a cat shut up les dés sont pipés (French) the dice are cheated
il y a anguille sous roche (French) there is an eel under the rock
iskat’ igolku v stoge sena (Russian) there is a needle in the haystack hayya min taht tibn (Arabic) a snake under the hay
23. From Better to Hearse
Dios es el que sana, y el medico lleva la plata (Spanish) God cures the patient and the doctor pockets the fee
Fagged out
W e have all kinds of habits that aren’t exactly good for us. As the Italian proverb cheerily goes: ‘
Bacco, tabacco e Venere, riducon l’uomo in
cenere’, Bacchus, tobacco and Venus make men into ashes: Glimmstengel (German) a cigarette (literally, a glowing stick) pitillo (Spanish) a cigarette (literally, a small whistle)
bychkovat’ (Russian) to smoke only part of a cigarette so as to save the butt
sassakisibingweiabas (Ojibway, North America) feeling a burning pain in my eyes from too much smoke
Peaky
The simplest symptoms can announce forthcoming su
ering:
hí (Rapanui, Easter Island) to have a headache or to blow one’s nose kirukiruppu (Tamil) dizziness
cloch (Scots) to cough frequently and feebly
koodho (Anywa, Nilo-Saharan) to fart repeatedly
ku-susuukirira (Ganda, U ganda) to feel the rst shivers of a fever svimfardig (Swedish) ready to faint
motami-ella (Yamana, Chile) to go home or to a place eastwards and throw up
Hypo
Some people are more likely to succumb to illness than others: niba n aoraki (Gilbertese, Oceania) a person very susceptible to catching every disease mabuk darah (Malay) one who becomes sick upon seeing blood
wakakhtakeća (Dakota, U SA) one who is made sick by a little matter, one who is nervous aráttam (Tamil) the anxiety of a sick person
STD
L ove is often described using the terminology of disease, as with
dongai (Fijian) love sickness; while sex is seen both as a cause of sickness and
as a cure: pham-phòng (Vietnamese) to become sick after having intercourse
una cachiaspirina (Chilean Spanish) refers to how one will sweat heavily during sex and thus kill a cold
Sweating carrots
All too soon things become more serious: zweet peentjes (Dutch) sweating like a pig (literally, sweating carrots) fare i gattini (Italian) to vomit (literally, to make the kittens)
ca-ca-ca (Tsonga, South Africa) to have diarrhoea; to rain heavily sarar burer (Chorti, Guatemala) a fever accompanied by an itch útsu (Telugu, India) the falling out of the hair from sickness
oka/shete (Ndonga, Namibia) urination di culties caused by eating frogs before the rain has duly fallen
kinudegan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a disease in men that causes the penis to retract inside the body
Quack remedies
Routine must be interrupted and steps must be taken: krankfeiern (German) to call in sick (literally, to celebrate illness)
tombola (Kalanga, Botswana) to extract a thorn from esh using a safety pin tervismuda (Estonian) curative mud
verkwakzalveren (Dutch) to spend money on quack remedies
kudóripannugirathu (Tamil) to slit or cut the top of the head in order to put in medicine to cure dangerous diseases
Docteur, docteur
Few enjoy handing themselves over to doctors, but sometimes it’s unavoidable; or, as they say in France,
inévitable:
trente-trois say ah! (literally, thirty-three – said by a doctor to the patient)
artilleur de la pièce humide a male nurse (literally, artilleryman of the wet gun) passer sur le billard to undergo surgery (literally, to go onto the billiard table)
Surgical spirit
In some societies recommended cures may not be primarily medical: millu (Quechuan, Andes) a rock of aluminium sulphate used by witch doctors, who diagnose illnesses by analysing its colour change when it is thrown into a re
ti-luoiny (Car, Nicobar Islands) to call on the spirit of a sick man to return tawák (Tagalog, Philippines) a quack doctor with magic saliva
anavinakárayá (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a juggler, one who practises incantations upon persons who have been poisoned or bitten by a serpent indahli (Alabama, U SA) to cut stripe marks on, in order to suck out blood (applied to a hexed or sick person)
Hex
A Chilote Indian, who has gathered up the spittle of an enemy, will put it in a potato, hang it in the smoke, and utter certain spells in the belief that his enemy will waste away as the potato dries in the smoke. And many others, likewise, believe that one person can be responsible for another’s physical decline:
khmungha (Dakota, U SA) to cause sickness or death in a supernatural way
The devil’s in the detail
If it’s an evil spirit to blame, it will need to be expelled. Methods di
er:
tin-fu-ko (Car, Nicobar Islands) the driving out of the devil from a man by beating the ground with the thick stubs of a coconut leaf sosela (Tsonga, South Africa) to cure a person by exorcism through the beating of drums
phurbu (Tibetan) ceremonial nails with which evil demons are symbolically nailed fast and banished
On re ection
Corpse in the middle
The Koreans, Japanese and Chinese (both in Cantonese and Mandarin) avoid the number 4 since in all these languages it has a very similar pronunciation to the word for death. Chinese and Korean buildings often do not have a fourth oor, replacing the number 4 (sa)
with the letter F. This is not the only number that the Chinese are wary of: the number 1414 is especially avoided because when spoken it sounds just like the words ‘de nite death, de nite death’. Many traditional Chinese people believe that having an uneven number of people in a photograph brings bad luck. To have three people is of greater consequence as the person in the middle will die.
Recuperation
W ith luck, however outlandish it is, the cure will work and time will do the rest: mimai (Japanese) to visit a sick person in the hospital
hletela (Tsonga, South Africa) to help a sick person to walk; to lead, as a hen does her chickens
samaya (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a party held to celebrate the promised cure for someone who is sick insobáayli (Alabama, U SA) to have the feeling come back to a body part
amū lha-vinaya (Pali, India) an acquittal on the grounds of restored sanity
Curtains
But nothing can ever be taken for granted: doi (Vietnamese) to make one’s last recommendations before death
urdhwaswása (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) the rattling in the throat which precedes death agonia (Spanish) the dying breath
sa-soa (Bakweri, Cameroon) a comb; to make deathbed statements as to the disposition of property
Clogs and slippers
W e kick the bucket or turn up our toes. The Russians play the snake, throw their hooves outwards, glue up their slippers, or throw out their best skates. The theme of no longer being shod and upright on your feet is widespread … estirar la pata (Latin American Spanish) to stretch out your leg
colgar los tenis (Mexican Spanish) to hang up or hand in your tennis shoes at stille træskoene (Danish) to put aside the clogs
at stille træskoene (Danish) to put aside the clogs
zaklepat bačkorama (Czech) to bang together a pair of slippers oikaista koipensa (Finnish) to straighten one’s shanks
nallari havaya dikmek (Turkish) to raise horse shoes to the sky … but not exclusive: gaan bokveld toe (Afrikaans) to go to the goat eld
cerrar el paraguas (Costa Rican Spanish) to close the umbrella liar el petate (Spanish) to roll up the sleeping mat
passer l’arme a gauche (French) to pass the rearm to the left ins Gras beißen (German) to bite into the grass
a da colţul (Romanian) to turn around the corner hälsa hem (Swedish) to send home one’s regards
irse al patio de los callados (Chilean Spanish) to go to the courtyard of the hushed
ya kwanta dama (Hausa, Nigeria) he is lying on his right arm (Muslims are buried not lying on their backs but on the right arm facing the Kaabah)
A thousand cuts
To die of an illness is not ideal, but in comfortable surroundings, with loved ones around us, perhaps better than some of the alternatives: lepur (Malay) to die through su ocation in mud asa (Korean) death from starvation
áhano’xéohtsé (Cheyenne, U SA) to die from carrying a load skeelah (Hebrew) stoning to death
lang-trì (Vietnamese) death by a thousand cuts (an ancient punishment) prayopaveshī (Hindi) one who undertakes a fast unto death chŏngsa (Korean) love suicide, double suicide
fwa imfwa leza (Mambwe, Zambia) to die abandoned and alone (without having anyone to fold one’s arms and legs for the burial) lavu (Manobo, Philippines) to drown someone by overturning their canoe
Another way to go
The Fore tribe of New Guinea su
er from a terrible disease called kuru, which means shaking death. It is also known as the laughing sickness
from the disease’s second stage in which the su erers laugh uncontrollably. It has a 100 per cent fatality rate.
Sti
There’s no saving us now; the best we can hope for is a little dignity: tlanyi (Tsonga, South Africa) to nd a person lying dead when one thought him alive bahk’ e chamen (Chorti, Guatemala) the fright caused by looking at a corpse
kreng (Dutch) a dead body which is bloated from being submerged in water for a substantial period of time (also a bitch) gruz 200 (Russian) corpses transported by air (literally, load 200)
False friends arm (Estonian) scar
cocoa (Nahuatl, Mexico) to su er pain halal (Hungarian) death
kill (Amharic, Ethiopia) skull
kill (Amharic, Ethiopia) skull kiss (Swedish) pee
men (Thai) a bad smell
rib (Somali) contraction rat (Romani) blood
safari (Zarma, Nigeria) medicine
wish (Bashgali, India) poison; medicine
Feet rst
Every culture attaches importance to a respectful disposal of the dead; but
how exactly they do it is di erent all over:
vynosit’ (Russian) to bury someone (literally, to carry someone out feet rst) monoklautos (Ancient Greek) with one mourner
tomboka (Luvale, Zambia) to dance (said of an executioner)
sahagamanamu (Telugu, India) the burning alive of a widow, with her dead husband Leichenschmaus (German) the meal after the funeral (literally, corpse banquet)
xuxo (Tsonga, South Africa) the spot where an important man died; when rites are observed for his spirit, people go rst to that place, then to his grave
Funeral crashers
‘A beautiful funeral does not necessarily lead to paradise,’ runs a Creole proverb and, were we still able to care, such a thought might be reassuring: tumeakana (Yamana, Chile) to not show the grief for a friend who has died that is expected from relatives, to act when a mourner as though one was not a mourner
pesamenteiro (Portuguese) one who habitually joins groups of mourners at the home of a deceased person, ostensibly to o er condolences but in reality to partake of the refreshments which he expects will be served
In loving memory
Now all that’s left is for those who remain to remember and express their feelings: di-huong (Vietnamese) the memory of a dead lover
keriah (Hebrew) a tear in clothes to signify a broken heart
miàti-drànomàso (Malagasy, Madagascar) to go up to the palace to weep on the decease of the sovereign nyekar (Indonesian) to visit and lay owers on the grave of a dead relative or friend prātahsmaranīya (Hindi) worthy of being remembered every morning; revered yortsayt (Yiddish) the anniversary of someone’s death
Hex revenge
W hile some love and remember, there are others who believe that if someone is ill and dies there must be someone to blame; and appropriate action may have to be taken: rihehlo (Tsonga, South Africa) a spell cast upon a person by putting medicines on the grave of one killed by his witchcraft
Radish tips
Once under the ground we say we are ‘pushing up daisies’. For the French, though, to be dead and buried is either
engraisser les asticots ,
fattening the maggots, or manger les pissenlits par la racine , eating dandelions by the roots. Even more imaginatively the Germans have sich die Radieschen von unten angucken, he’s looking at the radishes from below.
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Out of the frying pan and into the re min taht al dalf lataht al mizrab (Arabic) from under the drip to under the spout dostat se z bláta do louie (Czech) out of the mud into the puddle
aasmaan se gire khajoor mein atke (Hindi) down from the skies into the date tree takut akan lumpur lari ke duri (Indonesian) afraid of mud, escape to thorns
sudah jatuh tertimpa tangga pula (Indonesian) already fallen and hit by the stairs as well
lepas dari mulut harimau masuk ke mulut buaya (Indonesian) freed from the tiger’s mouth to enter the crocodile’s mouth iz ognya da v polymya (Russian) from re to ame
yağmurdan kaçarken doluya yakalanmak (Turkish) caught by the hail while running away from the rain
24. The Great Beyond
człowiek strzela, Pan Bóg kule nosi (Polish) man shoots, God carries the bullets
So where do we go once the body has been burned, buried or, as with the Zoroastrian Parsees of India, pecked o
the skeleton by vultures? It’s
hard for us to believe that the particular vitality that once animated the face of a loved one hasn’t gone somewhere: hanmdohdaka (Dakota, U SA) to tell of one’s intercourse with the spiritual world, to speak unintelligibly
dagok (Malay) clouds on the horizon of weird and changing form (believed to be ghosts of murdered men) beina-fœrsla (Old Icelandic) the removal of bones (from one churchyard to another)
Fancy meeting you again
For Hindus, Buddhists and Native Americans, among others, the afterlife is not necessarily another place: gatâgati (Sanskrit) going and coming, dying and being born again
púsápalan panninavan (Tamil) one who in the present life receives the reward of merit acquired in a former state apagabbha (Pali, India) not entering another womb (i.e. not destined for another rebirth) tihanmdeya (Dakota, U SA) to have been acquainted in a former state of existence
Just a jealous guy
For others, the spirits of the dead may well stick around and remain animate enough to be called on in times of need: hanmde (Dakota, U SA) to have intercourse with the spirit world
zangu (Luvale, Zambia) a dance to immunize an adulterous woman to the spirit of her dead husband ngar (Kaurna Warra, Australia) the call of a dead person kuinyo (Kaurna Warra, Australia) the voice of the dead
andoa (Bakweri, Cameroon) to invoke spirits by spitting out the juice of leaves havu (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to make an o ering to a ghost
False friends sad (Sanskrit) being
pop (Bosnian) priest
bigot (French) sanctimonious
eleven (Hungarian) the living fun (Lao) dream
hell (Norwegian) luck
Holy cockerel
Sometimes mere spirits aren’t enough and stronger supernatural agents have to be called on. Many and varied are the prayers and rituals o
ered
to the world’s deities: kahók (Tagalog, Philippines) the act of dipping ngers in holy water
a-cāmati (Sanskrit) to sip water from the palm of one’s hand for puri cation
hacer (se) cruces (Latin American Spanish) to cross yourself in the hope that God will help you to understand. thì thup (Vietnamese) to go down on one’s knees then get up again, to make repeated obeisances kiam (Malay) to stand during prayer
anda (Latin American Spanish) a wooden frame for carrying images of saints in processions miau (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) to wave a cockerel over a person while uttering a prayer
Broken sewing needles
Many and varied too are the building of their shrines and how they are decorated: abhi-gamana (Sanskrit) the act of cleansing and smearing with cowdung the way leading to the image of the deity laplap bilong alta (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) an altar cloth
hari kuyo (Japanese) a shrine for broken sewing needles (out of respect for the tools of the sewing trade)
tintueta-wen (Buli, Ghana) the personal god of a living or dead person whose shrine has not yet been transferred to the front of the house bìt torng lăng prá (Thai) doing a good deed in secret (literally, pasting gold leaf onto the back of the Buddha image)
One who understands
In most cultures, one spirit stands pre-eminent above all others and is always the One to be both consulted and worshipped: Hawëníyu’ (Mingo, U SA) God (literally, he is the one whose word/voice is good)
olumonron (Yoruba, Nigeria, Benin and Togo) one who understands people’s problems, God
Candle cormorant
‘He who is near the church is often far from God,’ say the French; and there is always a risk of substituting religiosity for virtue: hywl (Welsh) religious or emotional fervour, as experienced with preaching, poetry reading, sporting events, etc. une grenouille de bénitier (French) an extremely devout churchwoman (literally, a frog of the holy-water basin)
Kerzlschlucker (Austrian German) an insu erably pious person who never misses a mass (literally, a candle cormorant)
On a hedgehog’s back
The English language is full of relics of our former, more religious days. The expression ‘crikey’ is a truncation of the oath ‘by Christ’s key’ and ‘bloody’ of ‘by our Lady’. Socrates swore ni ton kuna , by the dog; and Pythagoras is said to have sworn ma tin tetrakton , by the number four.
‘bloody’ of ‘by our Lady’. Socrates swore ni ton kuna , by the dog; and Pythagoras is said to have sworn ma tin tetrakton , by the number four. Even atheistic Baudelaire swore by the sacred St Onion. The following expressions of astonished disbelief are just as outlandish: Kors i taket! (Swedish) Cross in the ceiling! (used when something rare happens)
Toushite svet, vynosite chemodany! (Russian) Switch o the light and take out your suitcases! (used when something is a great surprise) Holla die Waldfee! (German) Ooh, the forest’s fairy! (exclamation of surprise, often with an ironic connotation)
In groppa al riccio! (Italian) On a hedgehog’s back! (the response to which is Con le mutande di ghisa!, Wearing underpants made of cast iron!)
Sounds better
Japanese monks invented pious euphemisms so as not to taint the inner sanctum with jarring worldly words. Whipping came to be called nazu (caressing), tears shiotaru (dropping salt), money moku (eyes), testicles ryō gyaku (spiritual globes), and toilets kishisho (a place of truth).
Charismatic
However much some would prefer it if none of us believed in anything, it seems that holy men (and women) are here to stay: vusitavant (Pali, India) one who has reached perfection (in chaste living)
mana (Polynesian dialect) the spiritual charisma attributed to holy people
samádhi (Tamil) the abstract contemplation of an ascetic, in which the soul is considered to be independent of the senses; a sepulchre, grave nésajjika-dhutanga (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a religious observance which restrains a man from sleeping or lying down
an-avakānkshamāna (Sanskrit) not wishing impatiently (said of ascetics who, having renounced all food, expect death without impatience) anupabbajjā (Pali, India) giving up worldly life in imitation of another
On re ection
Magic numbers
Certain groupings have particular signi
cance, particularly in Southern Asia.
3 tam-cuong (Vietnamese) the three fundamental bonds – prince and minister, father and son, husband and wife 4 tu-linh (Vietnamese) the four supernatural creatures – dragon, unicorn, tortoise, phoenix 5 bani khoms (Yemeni) practitioners of the ve despised trades (barber, butcher, bloodletter, bath attendant and tanner) 6 luc-nghe (Vietnamese) the six arts – propriety, music, archery, charioteering, writing and mathematics 7 saptavidha-ratnaya (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) the seven gems or treasures of a Chakrawarti king – chariot wheel, wife, jewel, elephant, horse, son, prime minister
8 ashtāng (Hindi) prostration in salutation or adoration, so as to touch the ground with the eight principal parts of the body, i.e. with the knees, hands, feet, breasts, eyes, head, mouth and mind
9 nasāya-ratna (Sanskrit) the nine precious gems (pearl, ruby, topaz, diamond, emerald, lapis lazuli, coral, sapphire and garnet) which are supposed to be related to the nine planets
10 dasa-mūtraka (Sanskrit) the urine of ten (elephant, bu alo, camel, cow, goat, sheep, horse, donkey, man and woman)
Whistling in the wind
If your god isn’t interested you may just have to fall back on other means: itinatalagá (Tagalog, Philippines) to place oneself at the mercy of fate
uhranout (Czech) to cast the evil eye on somebody, to bewitch someone
uhranout (Czech) to cast the evil eye on somebody, to bewitch someone
bino (Gilbertese, Oceania) an incantation to get a woman back by turning a gourd very rapidly and allowing the wind to whistle into the opening
na ata (Arabic) a woman who spits on the knots (in exercising a form of Arabian witchcraft in which women tie knots in a cord and spit upon them with an imprecation)
The crystal ball
You might think that the advice of spirits and gods would be enough to comfort and direct humankind, but not a bit of it. We are so desperate to know what the future holds for us that almost anything will do: fakane (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to divine, using a broken coconut shell
ko edik kijken (Dutch) reading tea leaves, predicting the future (literally, co ee-grounds-looking) ber-dreymr (Old Icelandic) having clear dreams as to the future
lowa (Setswana, Botswana) a particular pattern in which a diviner’s bones have fallen
onnevalamine (Estonian) telling one’s fortune by pouring molten lead into cold water (on New Year’s Eve) chichiri-wiirik (Buli, Ghana) a man who can call on fairies to reveal things to him; a type of diviner
vayasa mutírtsu (Telugu, India) a crow crossing from the left side to the right (which Hindus consider a good omen)
Fringed with noodles
W e all hope things will turn out well but there are all kinds of superstitions that wishing each other good luck might bring its reverse. When someone in Norway goes shing, he is wished skitt ske, lousy shing.
German has two expressions for being lucky: Schwein haben , to have a pig – as a pig symbolizes good luck and lots of sausages; and
Sott
haben, to have soot – because, according to folklore, touching a chimney sweep brings luck. The French describe someone who is incredibly lucky as il a le cul bordé de nouilles , literally, his arse is fringed with noodles.
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
When pigs y na kukovo ljato (Bulgarian) in a cuckoo summer
kad na vrbi rodi grož e (Croatian) when willows bear grapes
når der er to torsdage i en uge (Danish) when a week has two Thursdays quand les poules auront des dents (French) when hens have teeth am Sankt Nimmerleinstag (German) on St Never-ever-day
majd ha piros hó esik (Hungarian) when it’s snowing red snow akes quando Pasqua viene a maggio (Italian) when Easter falls in May
tuyaning dumi yerga tekkanda (U zbek) when the camel’s tail reaches the ground când o
bunica fată mare (Romanian) when my grandma will be a virgin again
kag-da rak svist-nyet (Russian) when the cray sh whistles
balik ağaca / kavağa çikinca (Turkish) when sh climb trees/poplar trees cuando las ranas críen pelos (Spanish) when frogs grow hair
The Wonder of Whi ing CLATTERFARTS AND JAISIES Getting acquainted
Great talkers should be crop’d, for they have no need of ears (Franklin: Poor Richard’s Almanack 1738 )
Once upon a time, your
rst contact with someone was likely to be face to face. These days you’re as likely to get together via the computer:
oodgaters people who send you email inquiries and, after receiving any kind of response, begin swamping you with multiple messages of little or no interest
digerati those who have, or claim to have, expertise in computers or the Internet
disemvowel to remove the vowels from a word in an email, text message, etc, to abbreviate it
bitslag all the useless rubble one must plough through on the Net to get to the rich information ore ham legitimate email messages (as opposed to spam)
DOG AND BONE
Possibly the most used English word of greeting –
hello – only came into common usage with the arrival of the telephone. Its inventor,
Alexander Graham Bell, felt that the usual Victorian greeting of ‘How do you do?’ was too long and old-fashioned for his new device. He
suggested the sailor’s cry ahoy! as the best way to answer his machine and operators at the rst exchange did just that. But ahoy! didn’t prove
popular because it felt too abrupt. Compromise was soon reached with hello!, a word that came straight from the hunting- eld. But could Bell ever have foreseen some of the ways in which his device would come to be used?
Hollywood no (U S slang 1992) a lack of response (to a proposal, phone call, message etc.)
scotchie (South African slang) a ‘missed call’ which communicates some pre-arranged message or requires the receiver to call back at their expense, thereby saving the rst caller the cost of the call
fox hole (U K slang 2007) the area beneath one’s desk (in these days of open-plan o ces) where telephone calls can take place peacefully
SNAIL MAIL
Of course, the old-fashioned letter still has its uses, as these Service slang words indicate: the key one being, in these days of retentive hard drives, that once you’ve destroyed your message, it leaves no trace: yam yum a love letter
giz to read a pal’s letter to his girlfriend; to o er advice
gander a look through the mail, a glance over another’s shoulder at a letter or paper
imsies the rice paper on which important messages are written and which can be eaten without discomfort in case of capture
VISITING HOURS
Or you can do that wonderfully traditional thing and pay a call in person: pasteboard (1864) to leave one’s visiting card at someone’s residence cohonestation (17C) honouring with one’s company
gin pennant (Royal Navy slang) a green and white triangular pennant own to indicate an invitation on board for drinks
GR8
The arrival of mobile phones on the scene led immediately to some interesting usages. In the
rst wave of texting came shortened
versions of much-used phrases: F2T
free to talk
AFAIK
as far as I know
T+
think positive
BCNU
be seeing you
HAND
have a nice day
KIT
keep in touch
CU L8R
see you later
ZZZ
tired, bored
When people switched to predictive text, they discovered the phenomenon of the phone’s software coming up with the wrong word; most famously book for cool (so teenagers started describing their hipper friends as ‘book’). Other textonyms include: lips for kiss
shag for rich
carnage for barmaid
poisoned for Smirno
A LITTLE SOMETHING
A gift, however small, will always go down well: toecover (1948) an inexpensive and useless present xenium (Latin 1706) a gift given to a guest
exennium (Old English law) a gift given at New Year
groundbait (Royal Navy slang) a box of chocolates or something similar given to a lady friend in pursuit of a greater prize
DIGNITY AND PRIDE
In the U S, the knuckles touched together are called, variously,
closed- st high ves, knuckle buckles or st jabs. Done horizontally, the gesture is
called a pound; vertically it’s the dap (which some say is an acronym of ‘dignity and pride’). Other greetings, of course, involve words, but hopefully not misunderstandings:
dymsassenach (Cheshire) a mangled Welsh phrase meaning ‘I don’t understand English’
shaggledick (Australian slang) an a ectionate greeting for someone who is familiar but whose name doesn’t come to mind take me with you (Tudor–Stuart) let me understand you clearly
thuten (Middle English 1100–1500) to say ‘thou’ to a person, to become a close friend
ALL RIGHT, MATE?
You never get a second chance to make a
rst impression, so be aware of how you’re coming across:
corduroy voice (U S 1950s) a voice that continually uctuates between high and low (from the up-and-down ridges in corduroy) yomp (Cheshire) to shout with the mouth wide open snoach (1387) to speak through the nose
psellism (1799) an indistinct pronunciation, such as produced by a lisp or by stammering
RABBIT, RABBIT
Though there are always those who just can’t help themselves: macrology (1586) much talk with little to say clatterfart (1552) a babbler, chatterer
chelp (Northern and Midlands 19C) to chatter or speak out of turn blatteroon (1645) a person who will not stop talking clitherer (Galway) a woman with too much to say
air one’s vocabulary (c.1820) to talk for the sake of talking
SMOOTH CUSTOMER
Chit-chat apart, good manners always go down well (however bogus they may be):
garbist (1640) one who is adept at engaging in polite behaviour jaisy (Midlands) a polite, e eminate man
sahlifahly (Nottinghamshire) to make attering speeches
court holy water (1519) to say fair words without sincere intention; to atter deipnosophist (1656) a skilful dinner conversationalist
PETER PIPER: TONGUE TWISTERS
There are tongue twisters in every language. These phrases are designed to be di
cult to say and to get harder and harder as you say
them faster. They’re not just for fun. Therapists and elocution teachers use them to tame speech impediments and iron out strong accents. Repeat after me (being particularly careful with the last one) …
Sister Sue sells sea shells. She sells sea shells on shore. The shells she sells. Are sea shells she sees. Sure she sees shells she sells You’ve known me to light a night light on a light night like tonight. There’s no need to light a night light on a light night like tonight, for a night light’s a slight light on tonight’s light night
I’m not the pheasant plucker. I’m the pheasant plucker’s son. I’m only plucking pheasants till the pheasant plucker comes Some short words or phrases ‘become’ tongue-twisters when repeated, a number of times fast: Thin Thing
French Friend
Red Leather, Yellow Leather U nique New York
Sometimes Sunshine Irish Wristwatch Big Whip
CLEVER CLOGS
But let’s not go too far. Nothing, surely is worse than those people who put on airs and graces … nosism (1829) the use of the royal ‘we’ in speaking of oneself peel eggs (c.1860) to stand on ceremony
gedge (Scotland 1733) to talk idly with stupid gravity
godwottery (1939) the a ected use of archaic language … or claim to know more than they do: ultracrepidarian (1819) one who makes pronouncements on topics beyond his knowledge raw-gabbit (Scotland 1911) speaking con dently on a subject of which one is ignorant
to talk like the back of a cigarette card (U K slang 1930s) to pretend to greater knowledge than one has (the cards carried a picture on the front and a description or potted biography on the back)
MANNER OF SPEAKING
All’s fair in love and war, but a good classical education provides a conversational armoury that is hard to match: diasyrm (1678) a rhetorical device of damning with faint praise
sermocination (1753) a speaker who quickly answers his own question
paraleipsis (Ancient Greek 1586) mentioning something by saying you won’t mention it
paraleipsis (Ancient Greek 1586) mentioning something by saying you won’t mention it
eutrapely (1596) pleasantness in conversation (one of the seven virtues enumerated by Aristotle)
IRONY IN THE SOUL
Other tricks can leave the Average Joe standing … charientism (1589) an insult so gracefully veiled as to seem unintended asteism (1589) polite and ingenuous mockery
to talk packthread (b.1811) to use indecent language well hidden, as a tinker carefully folds and tucks thread back away into his pack of goods vilipend (1529) verbally to belittle someone … and make the rest of us look like idiots: onomatomania (1895) vexation in having di culty in nding the right word
palilalia (1908) a speech disorder characterized by the repetition of words, phrases or sentences
verbigeration (1886) the repetition of the same word or phrase in a meaningless fashion (as a symptom of mental disease)
WORD JOURNEYS
Originally these common words and phrases meant something very di
erent:
constipate (16C from Latin) to crowd together into a narrow room anthology (17C from Ancient Greek) a collection of owers
round robin (17C) a petition of protest whose signatures were originally arranged in a circle so that no name headed the list and no one person seemed to be the author (the robin does not refer to the bird but to the French rond for round and ruban for ribbon)
costume (18C) manners and customs belonging to a particular time and place
STICKYBEAK Character
Let him that would be happy for a day,
go to the barber; for a week, marry a wife; for a month, buy him a new horse; for a year, build him a new house; for all his life time, be an honest man (1662)
According to legal statute an
idiot is an individual with an IQ of less than 20, an imbecile between 21 and 49 and a moron between 50 and 70.
As you cast around for insults it may be worth remembering these categories. But then again, the English language has never been short of slurs
for the stupid. Historically, you could have been a clumperton (mid 16C), a dull-pickle or a fopdoodle (both 17C); and more recently, two ants short of a picnic, two wafers short of a communion or even a few vouchers short of a pop-up toaster . Over the centuries, some other ne reproaches have included:
doddypoll (1401) a hornless cow, hence a fool jobbernowl (1599) a blockhead
slubberdegullion (1616) a dirty, wretched slob
goostrumnoodle (Cornwall 1871) a stupid person, a fool
LOOSE KANGAROOS
Australians, in particular, specialize in scorn for the intellectually challenged. In the 1950s you could have been as
mad (or silly) as a cut snake,
a hatful of worms or a Woolworth’s watch . More recently, in the 1980s, you might have been a couple of tinnies short of a slab or a few snags
short of a barbie (where a tinnie is a beer can, a slab is a stack of cans and a snag is a sausage). Then again, a real idiot or drongo couldn’t blow the froth o a glass of beer, knock the skin o a rice-pudding , pick a seat at the pictures , nd a grand piano in a one-roomed house , or tell the time if the town-hall clock fell on them. Other memorable expressions of Antipodean scorn include there’s a kangaroo loose in the top paddock and the wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead .
MEN OF STRAW
Fools can often be enthusiastic in their idiocy. Arguably more irritating are those whose marbles are all present, but who somehow just lack the
drive: dardledumdue (Norfolk 1893) a person without energy maulifu
(Scotland) a young woman who makes a lot of fuss but accomplishes very little
gongoozler (1904) an idle person who stands staring for prolonged periods at anything unusual mulligrubs (1599) a state of depression of spirits
accidie (Old French c.1230) spiritual torpor, world weariness
WHAT NOW?
Other types it’s as well to steer clear of include the mean … chinchin (Middle English 1100–1500) to be stingy sti
(hotel trade jargon) any customer that fails to leave a tip
the moaning … crusty-gripes (1887) a grumbler
choowow (Fife) to grumble, a grudge
forplaint (1423) tired by complaining so much the nosey … quidnunc (1709) a person who always wants to know what is going on (from Latin: ‘what now’) stickybeak (New Zealand 1937) an inquisitive person; also the nose of a nosy-parker pysmatic (1652) interrogatory, always asking questions or inquiring the elusive … didapper (1612) someone who disappears and then pops up again whi er (1659) one who uses shifts and evasions in argument
kinshens (Scotland 1870) an evasive answer: ‘I don’t know, I cannot tell’
salt one up (U S slang) to tell a di erent lie when covering up something
salvo (1659) a false excuse; an expedient to save a reputation or soothe hurt feelings the unattractive … farouche (Horace Walpole 1765) sullen, shy and repellent in manner yahoo (Swift: Gulliver’s Travels 1726) a crude or brutish person
ramstamphish (Scotland 1821) rough, blunt, unceremonious; forward and noisy the tedious … meh (U S slang popularized by The Simpsons) boring, apathetic or unimpressive
whennie (U K current slang) a person who bores listeners with tales of past exploits and the just plain impossible … quisquous (Scotland 1720) hard to handle, ticklish
utzy (LA slang 1989) uncomfortable, bothered, uneasy
argol-bargolous (1822) quarrelsome, contentious about tri es
camstroudgeous (Fife) wild, unmanageable, obstinate, perverse whi ing (1613) tri ing, pettifogging, ddling
TWO GENTLEMEN
In the early nineteenth century two gentlemen in particular were to be avoided. Though both types persist, social developments may mean we see more of the second than the rst these days. A gentleman of three ins was ‘in gaol, indicted, and in danger of being hanged in chains’. While a gentleman of three outs was ‘without money, without wit, and without manners’.
HIGH HAT
Foppish, conceited behaviour – once known as
coxcombical (1716) – seems too to be a persistently male trait:
jackanapes (Northern 1839) a conceited, a ected, puppyish young man princock (1540) a pert, forward, saucy boy; a conceited young man
apadosha (Yorkshire) an eccentric, showy person with super cial manners
WITCH’S BROOM
W omen, by contrast, have come in for all kinds of criticism: mackabroin (1546) a hideous old woman
Xanthippe (1596) an ill-tempered woman, a shrew (after Socrates’s wife) cantlax (Westmoreland) a silly, giddy woman
termagant (1659) a violent, brawling, quarrelsome woman
bungo-bessy (Jamaican 1940) a woman whose busybody qualities are considered highly undesirable
criss-miss (West Indian 1950s) a pretentious woman who overestimates her abilities, charms and allure
YUPPIES
Everyone’s so used to the word yuppie now that they forget that only twenty-
ve years ago it was a brand new acronym for Young
U rban Professional. Here are some other acronyms coined subsequently to that famous rst: SPU RMO a Straight, Proud, U nmarried Man Over 30 SADFAB Single And Desperate For A Baby
CORGI a Couple Of Really Ghastly Individuals
SITCOM Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage
KIPPERS Kids In Parental Property Eroding Retirement Savings
SKIERS Spending their Kids Inheritance (on travel, health and leisure activities)
SLYBOOTS
Better, perhaps, those who assume airs than those who seem straightforward but aren’t: janjansy (Cornwall 1888) a two-faced person
accismus (Medieval Latin 1753) feigning a lack of interest in something while actually desiring it
mouth-honour (G. B. Shaw: Major Barbara 1907) civility without sincerity mawworm (1850) a hypocrite with delusions of sanctity
Podsnap (from the character in Dickens’ Our Mutual Friend 1864) a complacent, self-satis ed person who refuses to face unpleasant facts skilamalink (East London slang late 19C) secret, shady
REGULAR GUY
Such characters make one long for that remarkable thing: the straightforward, decent, or just thoroughly good person …
rumblegumption (Burns: letter 1787) common sense
pancreatic (1660) fully disciplined or exercised in mind, having a universal mastery of accomplishments towardliness (1569) a good disposition towards something, willingness, promise, aptness to learn
Rhadamanthine (Thackeray: Paris Sketchbook 1840) strictly honest and just (Rhadamanthus, Zeus’s half-human son, was made a judge of the souls of the dead due to his in exible integrity)
… this is someone we all want to spend time with, and stay loyal to … wine (Old English) a friend
bully (Geordie) a brother, comrade
bread-and-cheese friend (Sussex) a true friend as distinguished from a cupboard-lover (a personal attachment that appears to be motivated by love but stems from the hope of gain)
WORD JOURNEYS amnesty (16C from Ancient Greek) forgetfulness, oblivion
nice (13C from Latin nescire: to be ignorant) foolish; then (14C) coy, shy; then (16C) fastidious, precise; then (18C) agreeable, delightful obnoxious (16C from Latin) exposed to harm
generous (16C from Latin via Old French) nobly born
GOING POSTAL Emotions
Be not too sad of thy sorrow, of thy joy be not too glad (c.1450)
Throughout the world the British were once famed for their sti
upper lip; but is this sort of imperturbability really no more than a paper-thin
façade for some extremely strong feelings beneath? ugsomeness (1440) loathing
jump salty (U S slang 1996) to become angry brain (Middle English 1100–1500) furious
throw sarcasm (Jamaican English 1835) to relieve one’s emotions by speaking out about one’s dislike for or sense of grievance against another unbosom (1628) to disclose one’s personal thoughts or feelings
HOPPING MAD
It’s now generally agreed that it’s better to let it all out than keep it in: dudgeon (1597) a resentful anger (dudgeon was a wood used to make dagger hilts) mumpish (1721) sullenly angry; depressed in spirits
wooden swearing (U S slang b.1935) showing anger by acts of violence or roughness, as in knocking furniture about
go postal (U S slang 1986) to lose your temper, behave with irrational violence, especially as a result of workplace stress (from a postal worker who killed fourteen fellow employees and wounded six before shooting himself)
JESUS WEPT
Tears, too, are regarded as a good thing these days. But it doesn’t stop them sometimes making for a awkward situation: gowl (c.1300) to weep bitterly or threateningly
skirllie-weeack (Ban shire) to cry with a shrill voice
grizzle (1842) to fret, sulk; to cry in a whining or whimpering fashion sinsorg (Anglo-Saxon) perpetual grief bubble (Geordie) to weep
kankedort (Chaucer: Troylus 1374) an
BRING ME SUNSHINE
L uckily sunshine eventually follows rain. Words describing happiness o
er fascinating barometers into history. For instance, the Old English
word for joy, dream, also describes music and ecstasy – an intriguing view into the mind-frame of our ancestors … froligozene (Tudor–Stuart) rejoice! be happy!
eshment (Shakespeare: King Lear 1605) excitement from a rst success
felici cability (1865) capacity for happiness
macarism (mid 19C) taking pleasure in another’s joy
ma ck (1900) to rejoice with an extravagant and boisterous public celebration
kef (1808) a state of voluptuous dreaminess, full of languid contentment (originally used to describe the e ects of opium)
MAKE ‘EM LAUGH
W e can’t all be a
grinagog (1565), one who is always grinning. But the contrast is all the better when we do nally get to see the funny side:
cachinnate (1824) to laugh loudly and immoderately
winnick (Lincolnshire) to giggle and laugh alternatively snirtle (1785) to laugh in a quiet or restrained manner popjoy (1853) to amuse oneself
goistering (Sussex) loud feminine laughter
HA HA BONK
Humour is often cruel. At the heart of slapstick is a series of jokes that amuse only those who set them up: press ham (U S college slang 1950s) to press a bare buttock against a window and shock passers-by
squelch-belch (Winchester College 1920) a paper bag of water dropped from an upper window onto people below
to catch the owl (late 18C) to play a trick on an innocent countryman, who is decoyed into a barn under the pretext of catching an owl: when he enters, a bucket of water is poured on his head
tiddley-bumpin’ (Lincolnshire) tapping on a window pane with a button on a length of cotton secured to the frame by a pin (a device used by boys to annoy neighbours)
pigeon’s milk (1777) an imaginary article for which children are sent on a fool’s errand (traditionally on April 1st)
squashed tomatoes (1950s) a game that involves knocking on a door and then rushing away as the homeowner answers it (also known as down ginger (England and Canada), ding-dong ditch (U S), chappy (Scotland), dolly knock (Ireland))
WORD JOURNEYS
knock
jest (13C from Latin and French) a deed or exploit; then (15C) idle talk
engine (13C from Latin via Old French) contrivance, arti ce; then (14C) genius frantic (14C) insane
negotiate (16C from Latin) ill at ease; not at leisure
to have a chip on one’s shoulder (U S 19C) of a custom in which a boy who wanted to give vent to his feelings placed a chip of wood on his shoulder in order to challenge any boy who dared to knock it o
TWIDDLE-DIDDLES Body language
Keep the head and feet warm,
and the rest will take nae harm (1832)
In the developed world these days, one of the greatest concerns is being overweight, whether you are an adult or a child. But the evidence of language is that not being thin is hardly a new thing. Nor are people’s reactions: fubsy (1780) being chubby and somewhat squat odge (Ban shire) a big, fat, awkward person
plo y (Cornwall 1846) plump; also soft and spongy pursy (Scotland) short-breathed and fat fustilug (1607) a fat sloppy woman
ve by ve (North American black 1930s) a short fat man (i.e. his girth is the same as his height)
CHUBBY CHOPS
It’s not just the whole but the parts that get labelled. In the U K people talk about
bingo wings for abby upper arms, a mu n top to describe
that unsightly roll of esh above tight jeans, a bu alo hump for an area of fat in the upper back and cankles for ankles so thick that they have no distinction from the calf. Over the pond recent slang is just as critical: bat wings
abby undersides of the upper arms
banana fold fat below the buttocks chubb fat around the kneecaps
hail damage cellulite (from its pitted similarity to the e ects of hail)
MODEL FIGURES
So it must be reassuring to some that being skinny can also attract unfavourable notice (especially when combined with height): windlestraw (1818) a thin, lanky person
straight up six o’clock girl (U S black 1940s) a thin woman slindgy (Yorkshire 1897) tall, gaunt and sinewy gammerstang (1570) a tall, awkward woman
stridewallops (Yorkshire) a tall, long-legged girl
acket (Su olk) a girl, tall and slender, who ounces about in loose hanging clothes
NAPOLEON COMPLEX
The awful truth is that from the playground onwards, people who don’t meet the average have always had to put up with mockery. Luckily, vertically challenged role models from Alexander the Great to Napoleon have often had the last laugh: youfat (Ayrshire 1821) diminutive, puny gudget (Donegal) a short thick-set man
dobbet (Cornwall) a short, stumpy little person
dobbet (Cornwall) a short, stumpy little person
pyknic (1925) short and squat in build, with small hands and feet, short limbs and neck, a round face and a domed abdomen endomorphic (1888) being short but powerful
NIP AND TUCK
So in the short term what can you do to change things? Wear platform shoes. Go on a diet. Or consider having some ‘work’ done: pumping party (Miami slang 2003) illegal gatherings where plastic surgeons give back street injections of silicone, botox, etc. rhytidectomy (1931) the surgical removal of facial wrinkles
roider (U S slang 2005) someone who injects illegal steroids to enhance his body
reveal party (U S current slang) a party held to celebrate successful cosmetic treatment, especially cosmetic surgery or dentistry
MAKEOVER
Then again, you could just pop down to the salon and have a less
nal and painful sort of revamp:
whi e cut a very short haircut worn by U S soldiers in the Second World War
farmer’s haircut (U S slang 1984) a short haircut that leaves a white strip of skin showing between the bottom of the hair and the tanned portion of the neck
follow-me-lads (mid 19C) curls that hang over a woman’s shoulder krobylos (Ancient Greek 1850) a tuft of hair on top of one’s head acersecomic (1612) one whose hair has never been cut
FACE FUNGUS
Ever since William the Conqueror passed a law against beards, facial hair has gone in and out of fashion. After the return of the heroic soldiers from the Crimea in the 1850s, the hirsute look became wildly popular: dundrearies (1858) a pair of whiskers that, cut sideways from the chin, are grown as long as possible (named after the comic character Lord
Dundreary in the popular Victorian play Our American Cousin ; these excessive sidechops, popular with gentlemen perambulating the centre of the capital, were also known as Piccadilly Weepers )
burke (c.1870) to dye one’s moustache
bostruchizer (Oxford U niversity c.1870) a small comb for curling the whiskers
THREADBARE
From
ve o’clock stubble to the pudding ring (Florida slang), a facial decoration made up of a moustache and a goatee, many men cherish their
beards because it’s the only kind of hair they have left: pilgarlic (1529) a bald man (referring to a peeled head of garlic) skating rink (U S current slang) a bald head
egg-shell blonde (New Zealand 1949) a bald man
Better such terms as these than being ngered for having a brillo (U K playground slang), a merciless expression for the style of a middle-aged male who is attempting to u up every hair to disguise his ever-expanding pate.
SNIFFER air can do only so much to frame a face. You can’t escape the features you’ve been given, especially that one in the middle: simous (1634) having a very at nose or with the end turned up proboscidiform (1837) having a nose like an elephant’s trunk macrosmatic (1890) having a supersensitive nose
meldrop (c.1480) a drop of mucus at the end of the nose
A WORD IN YOUR SHELL-LIKE
Even the highest in the land have to learn to live with the particular shape of their auditory nerves: FA Cup (U K playground slang 1990s) a person with protruding ears
leav-lug’t (Cumberland) having ears which hang down instead of standing erect sowl (Tudor–Stuart 1607) to pull by the ears
PEEPERS
Eyes are more than mere features, they are extraordinary organs we should do our very best to look after: saccade (French 1953) the rapid jump made by the eye as it shifts from one object to another canthus (Latin 1646) the angle between the eyelids at the corner of the eye
eyes in two watches (Royal Navy slang) of someone whose eyes appear to be moving independently of each other as a result of drunkenness or tiredness or both
especially if there’s only one of them … half-a-surprise (U K slang late 19C) a single black eye
seven-sided animal (18C riddle) a person with only one eye (they have a right side and a left side, a foreside and a backside, an outside, an inside and a blind side)
CAKE HOLE
The glabella (Latin 1598) is the gap between the eyebrows, and the
philtrum (Latin 17C) the groove below the nose. But though the mouth
below attracts such crude names as gob, gash and kisser, its features and actions are more delicately described: wikins (Lincolnshire) the corners of the mouth pple (Scottish and Northern) the lower lip ssilingual (b.1913) having a forked tongue
bivver (Gloucestershire) to quiver one’s lips
mimp (1786) to speak in a prissy manner usually with pursed lips
GNASHERS
An evocative Australian expression describes
teeth like a row of condemned houses . In this state, the only cure is to have them out and replaced
with graveyard chompers, a Down U nder phrase for false teeth, intriguingly similar to the Service slang dead man’s e ects . But dental problems persist from the earliest night-time cries onwards: neg (Cornwall 1854) a baby’s tooth
neg (Cornwall 1854) a baby’s tooth
shoul (Shropshire) to shed the rst teeth
laser lips; metal mouth; tin grin (U S campus slang 1970s) a wearer of braces gubbertushed (1621) having projecting teeth
snag (Gloucestershire) a tooth standing alone
CHEEK BY JOWL
W hat face would be complete without all those interesting bits in between? joblocks (Shropshire) eshy, hanging cheeks
bucculent (1656) fat-cheeked and wide-mouthed
pogonion (1897) the most projecting part of the midline of the chin
prognathous (1836) having a jaw which extends past the rest of one’s face … not to mention other decorative surface additions: push (Tudor–Stuart) a pimple
turkey eggs (Lincolnshire) freckles
christened by the baker (late 18C) freckle-faced
BOTTLING IT
Having broad shoulders has generally been seen to be a good thing, both literally and metaphorically. Other shapes are for some reason considered less reliable: bible-backed (1857) round-shouldered, like one who is always poring over a book
champagne shoulders (c.1860) sloping shoulders (from the likeness to the bottle’s shape)
Coke-bottle shoulders (Royal Navy slang) shoulders possessed by those individuals who are unwilling to take responsibility in any matter (after its rounded shape)
SINISTER
Most of us are right-handed. Once again, it’s the odd ones out who get noticed, and not kindly. Left-handed people have been variously described as molly-dukered , corrie- sted and skerry-handit (Scotland); car-handed, cack-handed and cowie-handed (North East); kay- sted, kibbo, key-pawed and caggy-ont (Lancashire); cuddy-wifter (Northumbria); kay-neeaved or dolly-posh (Yorkshire); keggy (East Midlands) and
Marlborough-handed (Wiltshire); while awk (1440) is an old English word which means ‘with or from the left hand’ and thus the wrong way, backhanded, perverse or clumsy (hence awkward).
PAWS
But all hands are carefully observed, both for how they are and for what they’re doing: pugil (1576) what is carried between the thumb and two rst ngers yepsen (14C) as much as the cupped hands will hold
gowpins (Yorkshire) the two hands full when held together
quobbled (Wiltshire) of a woman’s hands: shrivelled and wrinkled from being too long in the washtub clumpst (1388) of hands sti with cold (hence clumsy)
rope-hooky (U K nautical jargon late 19C) with ngers curled in (from years of handling ropes) … right down to the detail of speci c digits: lik-pot (Middle English 1100–1500) the fore nger of the right hand
mercurial nger (Tudor–Stuart) the little nger (as in palmistry it was assigned to Mercury) esh-spades (Fielding: Tom Jones 1749) ngernails
gifts (U K slang b.1811) small white specks under the ngernails, said to portend gifts or presents lirp (1548) to snap one’s ngers
llip (1543) a jerk of the nger let go from the thumb
vig (Somerset) to rub a nger quickly and gently forwards and backwards
JOHN THOMAS
Further down are those parts often described as ‘private’, but subject also to any number of other euphemisms and nicknames: twiddle-diddles (b.1811) testicles
melvin (U S slang 1991) to grab by the testicles
be docked smack smooth (mid 18C) to have had one’s penis amputated merkin (1617) counterfeit hair for women’s private parts
hinchinarfer (late 19C) a grumpy woman (i.e. ‘inch-and-a-halfer’ referring to the length of the disgruntled woman’s husband’s penis)
BUNS
The Ancient Greek-derived word
callipygian (1646) has long been used to describe shapely buttocks, while in U S slang badonkadonk indicates a
bottom of exceptional quality and bounce. U nfortunately, rather more ubiquitous are displays of a less appealing kind: working man’s smile (U S slang) a builders’ bottom
LEGS ELEVEN
Below that, it’s good to have shapely
stumps and elegant plates of meat , whatever the individual components look like:
prayerbones (1900s) the knees
baker’s knee (1784) a knee bent inwards (from carrying a heavy bread-basket on the right arm)
Sciapodous (1798) having feet large enough to be used as a sunshade to shelter the whole body hallux (1831) a big toe
NOISES OFF
Cock-throppled (1617) describes one of those people whose Adam’s apple is largely developed;
noop (1818) is Scottish dialect for the sharp
point of the elbow; and both axilla (1616) and oxter (1597) are names for the armpit. But perhaps the oddest words of all are those describing
point of the elbow; and both axilla (1616) and oxter (1597) are names for the armpit. But perhaps the oddest words of all are those describing the noises that bodies can make:
yask (Shropshire) the sound made by a violent e ort to get rid of something in the throat plapper (Ban shire) to make a soft noise with the lips
borborygmus (1719) the rumbling, gurgling, growling sounds made by the stomach
WORD JOURNEYS handsome (1435) easy to handle; then (1577) convenient; then (Samuel Johnson 1755) beautiful, with dignity fathom (Old English) the span of one’s outstretched arms shampoo (18C from Hindi) to massage the limbs
complexion (from Latin) woven together; then (14C) the bodily constitution, the combination of the four humours
cold shoulder (from Medieval French) relating to a chateau guest who was served a cold shoulder of beef or mutton instead of hot meat, as a not-so gentle hint that he had overstayed his welcome
PRICK-ME-DAINTY Clothes
Under greasie clothes,
are oft found rare virtues (1666)
Even if you’re not, as the Australians say,
as ash as a rat with a gold tooth, you can still make time to be well turned out:
prick-me-dainty (1529) one that is nicky about dress; a dandy (of either sex)
pavisand (Kipling: Simple Simon 1910) to aunt opulent or expensive clothing or jewels in a peacock-like fashion amfew (1580) a gaudily dressed female, whose chief pleasure consists of dress
sashmaree (Yorkshire) an elderly female conspicuous for the quaintness of her nery
UNMENTIONABLES
Not that all clothes are inherently smart: cover-slut (1639) a clean apron over a dirty dress
orphan collar (U S b.1902) a collar unsuitable to the shirt with which it is worn
stilt (Lincolnshire) to pull down and re-knit the feet of worn stockings or socks if the legs are still good coax (U K slang mid 18C) to hide a dirty or torn part of one’s stocking in one’s shoes
apple-catchers (Herefordshire) outsized knickers (as one could use them for harvesting apples)
SKIMPIES
Garments that leave less to the imagination often attract greater interest: banana hammock (U S slang) a very brief men’s swimsuit
pasties (strip club jargon 1961) coverings worn over the nipples of a showgirl’s or topless dancer’s breasts (to comply with legal requirements for entertainers)
budgie smugglers (Australian slang) tight- tting swimming trunks
TREWS
But even slinging on a pair of trousers may not stop the ogling: like Edgware Road (U K slang 20C) a phrase describing tight trousers (because it’s got no ballroom either)
continuations (1825) trousers (since they continued a Victorian male’s waistcoat in a direction too delicate to mention) galligaskins (1577) loose breeches
spatterdashes (1687) coverings for the legs by which the wet is kept o (especially in riding) gravity-bags (Westmorland) the seat of the trousers
yorks (Wales) the practice of tying colliers’ and other workmen’s trousers above the ankles to prevent dirt and dust from reaching the upper parts of the body
GYM SHOES
Here at home we mainly call them trainers these days. But around the country and the English-speaking world the slang varies widely. In Newcastle they’re known as sandshoes; in Liverpool gollies; in Bristol and into Wales daps; in Nottingham pumps; in London plimsolls; in Dublin whiteslippers; and in Belfast gutties. Other types of footwear vary widely: ferryboat (U S 20C) a large, clumsy shoe
cod-heads (Glasgow 1930s) shoes that have worn out at the toe
done-promote (Jamaican English 1943) sandals made from worn out car tyres (i.e. one has been promoted from bare feet) excruciators (19C) very tight, pointed shoes (forerunners of the 20C winklepickers)
KITTED OUT
Some occupations leave little choice as to what you wear: lightning conductors (Royal Navy jargon) gold stripes running down the trouser seams of a Captain’s or Flag O cer’s Mess Dress uniform devil’s claw (c.1850) the broad arrow on convicts’ uniform
fruit salad (Service slang) a large collection of medal ribbons which runs to three or more rows
SUITS YOU
There are all kinds of useful names for speci
c parts of clothing. Imagine how much easier life could be if you could de ne which pocket your
keys are kept in or why exactly you have to turn down that fourth helping of turkey … gerve (U S late 19C) the breast-pocket in a jacket britch (U S late 19C) the inside jacket pocket
coppish (Glamorgan) the part of the trousers that have buttons in front slave (U S military slang) the part of a garment covering an arm only
yule-hole (Scots b.1911) the last hole to which a man could stretch his belt at a Christmas feast
REBELS IN BOATERS
Boys at Winchester College developed a rich lingo to describe how they wore their uniform. You could
sport …
a fringe (1920) to allow the bottom of one’s gown to become tattered
an advertisement (1892) to turn down the collar of a College gown to show the velvet an angle (1920) to wear your straw hat crooked Or more precisely: a halo (1920) to have your hat tilted like a halo so that the hair was showing in front
PERUKE
L ooking round at all the shaven heads and brillos of today, perhaps men should consider a return to something that was once an essential accessory, even if the language used to describe it was somewhat less than heroic: cauli ower (1753) a large white wig, such as is worn by the digni ed clergy and formerly by physicians dildo (1688) a cylindrical or ‘sausage’ curl on a wig caxon (1756) a worn-out wig
Nazarene foretop (1785) the foretop of a wig made in imitation of Christ’s head of hair, as represented by the painters and sculptors
TOPPING
Or else,
y in the face of contemporary fashion and sport some other headgear:
liripipe (1737) the long tail of a graduate’s hood
cow’s breakfast (Canadian slang) a large straw hat gibus (1848) an opera or crush hat
havelock (1861) a cloth hanging from the back of a soldier’s cap to protect his neck from the sun
biggin (1530) a tight- tting cap tied under the chin, usually worn by children or as a nightcap by men
goodgodster (Winchester College 1920) a brown bowler hat (from the exclamation necessarily uttered by anyone seeing so strange a thing)
WORD JOURNEYS corset (14C from Latin and Old French) a little body
mitten (14C from Old French) divided in the middle garter (14C from Old French) the bend in the knee
tuxedo (from Amerindian) a wolf; then the name of a lake near New York whose residents in 1886 became so socially important that its name was given to a new style of dinner coats
GOING WEST Illness, death and spiritual matters
Sicknesse doth wound or a ict the esh, but it cures the soule (1624)
The idealized body is all very well to look at, in a painting or beautiful photograph. But in life, of course, bodies are constantly working organisms, managing repetitive functions that we often try and pretend are not actually happening to us. Just look at the string of euphemisms for our regular trips to the loo or restroom. We go and check the price of wheat in Chicago (Fife), see the vicar and book a seat for evensong (Isle of Wight), shake the dew from one’s orchid (Cumbria) or wring out one’s socks (Kent).
WIND AND WATER
Related functions can cause us huge embarrassment, as we attempt to ignore the fact that air needs to be released or that sometimes the body will reject what we try and put into it: u
(Yorkshire) to break wind silently
dumb insolence (1916) breaking wind on parade
thorough cough (b.1811) coughing and breaking wind backwards at the same time bespawl (Tudor–Stuart) to bespatter with saliva
vurp (U K teen talk) a belching action that’s somewhere between vomiting and burping bake it (late 19C) to refrain from visiting the loo when one should go there
ELF WARNING
Nor, sadly, can we rely on the body always to be in tip-top condition: phthisickin (Essex) a slight, tickling cough wa
(1808) just the slightest touch of illness (especially of a cold)
aelfsogooa (Anglo-Saxon) a hiccough, thought to have been caused by elves
blepharospasm (1872) uncontrollable winking galea (1854) a headache which covers the entire head like a helmet mubble-fubbles (1589) a t of depression
sirkenton (Ayrshire) one who is very careful to avoid pain or cold and keeps near the re
MENS SANA
Though sometimes malfunction of the body has more to do with the mind that controls it … formication (1707) the sensation of bugs crawling over one’s body
trichotillomania (1889) the compulsive desire to pull out one’s hair boanthropy (1864) the belief that one is an ox
uranomania (1890) the delusion that one is of Heavenly descent
calenture (1593) a distemper peculiar to sailors in hot climates, where they imagine the sea to be green elds, and will throw themselves into it
DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Calling in professional assistance is sure to be a good plan, even if the treatment prescribed may sometimes seem a bit unusual: urtication (1837) the act of whipping a palsied or benumbed limb with nettles to restore its feeling bezoar (1580) a stone from a goat’s stomach considered a universal antidote to poisons
organ recital (medical jargon) a detailing of one’s medical history (especially of a hypochondriac’s)
emporiatrics (medical terminology) the science of travellers’ health (jet lag, exotic infections, overexposure to hot or cold, altitude sickness etc.)
GOD KNOWS
Irreverent medical acronyms are used by some doctors on patients’ charts: U BI U nexplained Beer Injury PAFO Pissed And Fell Over
GORK God Only Really Knows (a hospital patient who is, and may well remain, comatose) TEETH Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy GPO Good for Parts Only
It has been known that certain medics use the letters O and Q to describe their very oldest patients, with respectively, their mouths open, and their tongues out.
PULLING THROUGH
The sad fact remains that in the lottery of illness, some are fortunate … umbersorrow (Scotland) hardy, resisting disease or the e ects of severe weather lysis (1877) the gradual reduction of the symptoms of a disease to cheat the worms (b.1887) to recover from a serious illness
creaking gate (1854) an invalid who outlives an apparently healthier person (as a creaking gate hangs longest on the hinges) … while others are less so (whatever their visitors think): goodly-badly (Cumberland) of a sick person whose looks belie their illness
occillation (1842) the action of a feverish patient in picking at the bedclothes during delirium
churchyard cough (1693) a cough that is likely to terminate in death
circling the drain (hospital jargon) a patient near death who refuses to give up the ghost
wag-at-the-wall (Jamaican English) a ghost that haunts the kitchen and moves backwards and forwards before the death of one of the family
LAST WORDS
Your time has come, and this is a journey with no return ticket: thanatopsis (1816) the contemplation of death
viaticum (Latin 1562) Holy Communion given to a dying person thratch (Scotland 1806) to gasp convulsively in the death-agony dormition (1483) a peaceful and painless death
THE GOLDEN STAIRCASE
This
nal action of the body is also something that people prefer not to refer to directly, as the following euphemisms for dying attest:
buy the farm (U S slang early 1900s)
climb the golden staircase (U S slang late 1800s) coil up one’s ropes (British naval slang)
stick one’s spoon in the wall (British slang 1800s) meet one’s Waterloo (Australian slang)
go trumpet-cleaning (late 19C: the trumpeter being the angel Gabriel) chuck seven (late 19C: as a dice-cube has no 7) drop one’s leaf (c.1820)
take the everlasting knock (1889) pass in one’s cheeks (b.1872)
DEATH BY HONEY
Not of course that illness is the only way to go: buddle (Somerset) to su ocate in mud
burke (1829) to smother people in order to sell their bodies for dissection (after the notorious Edinburgh body-snatchers Burke and Hare)
scaphism (b.1913) an old Persian method of executing criminals by covering them with honey and letting the sun and the insects nish the job
A HEARTY JOKE
W hen hanging was the ultimate penalty in this country, as it was for many centuries, a particular kind of gloating black humour went along with the licensed murder of wicked people: hemp cravat (late 18C) a hangman’s noose
to cry cockles (b.1811) to be hanged (from the noise made whilst being strangled) artichoke (underworld slang 1834) a hanging (a ‘hearty choke’) horse’s nightcap (late 18C) the cap drawn over a criminal’s eyes at his hanging (also known as
Paddington spectacles (early 19C) from the execution of malefactors at Tyburn in the above parish)
keep an ironmonger’s shop by the side of a common (1780) to be hanged in chains sheri ’s picture frame (U K slang b.1811) the gallows dismal ditty (c.1690) a psalm sung by a criminal just before his death at the gallows
DUST TO DUST
However you meet your end, it’s o
to church for one last time:
ecopod (U K 1994) a co n specially designed to be environmentally friendly
shillibeer (1835) a hearse with seats for mourners wheelicruise (Orkney Isles) a churchyard
boot hill (American West 19C) a graveyard (where the occupants died ‘with their boots on’ i.e. violently) parentate (1620) to celebrate one’s parents’ funerals
KNOCKING-ON
Not that death is necessarily the end of your consequence on earth: dustsceawung (Anglo-Saxon) a visit to a grave (‘a viewing of dust’)
carrion-crow man (Guyanese English) a man who canvasses business for an undertaker following a death umest (1400) the coverlet of a bed, often claimed by a priest at the death of a parishioner
to add a stone to someone’s cairn (18C) to honour a person as much as possible after their death
memorial diamond (U S slang 2001) a diamond created from carbon extracted from the remains of a cremated body
deodand (1523) an object that has been the direct cause of death of a human being (such as a boat from which a person has fallen and drowned) which was forfeited to the crown to be used as an o ering to God
ELYSIAN FIELDS
The spirit has most de
nitely left the body, but to travel who knows where? Over the centuries there have been many di erent answers to this
fascinating question: ddlers’ green (1825) the place where sailors expect to go when they die: a place of ddling, dancing, rum and tobacco
psychopannychy (1545) the sleep of the soul between death and the day of judgment Lubberland (1598) a mythical paradise reserved for those who are lazy
GOD’S IN HIS HEAVEN
Back on earth, those left behind try and make sense of this alarming
ight. Many nd a visit to a church helpful in all kinds of ways …
scaldabanco (1670) a preacher who delivers a ery sermon
utraquist (1894) one who partakes of the wine as well as the bread at communion
o cers of the 52nd (b.1909) young men rigidly going to church on the 52 Sundays in a year … though some motives are more suspect than others: thorough churchman (b.1811) a person who goes in at one door of a church, and out at the other without stopping autem-diver (17C) a pickpocket specializing in the robbery of church congregations
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL
God is known by few names: God, Allah, Jehovah. But his old adversary has any number of monikers:
author of evil , black gentleman, fallen
angel, old scratch , old split-foot and the noseless one. Just in the north-east of England he’s been Clootie, Awd Horney, Auld Nick and the Bad Man, while Yorkshire has had him as Dicky Devlin ; Gloucestershire as Mi y and Su olk as Jack-a-Dells.
Man, while Yorkshire has had him as Dicky Devlin ; Gloucestershire as Mi y and Su olk as Jack-a-Dells.
THE UNCERTAIN FUTURE
Religion asks us to accept our fate, whatever that may be. For many that’s not good enough. They need more concrete assurance of the good or bad things to come: onychomancy (1652) fortune-telling using re ected light on oiled ngernails pessomancy (1727) divination by throwing pebbles
belomancy (1646) divination using arrows marked with symbols or questions, guidance being sought by ring the arrows or drawing them at random from a bag or quiver
planchette (French 1920s) a small, heart-shaped board on casters with a pencil attached; when participants in a séance touched it lightly the planchette allegedly wrote messages from the dead
WORD JOURNEYS juggernaut (17C) from Hindi jagannath: a title of the god Vishnu ‘lord of the world’. It was believed that devotees of Vishnu threw themselves beneath the wheels of a cart bearing his image in procession
mortgage (14C from Old French) a death pledge, a promise to pay upon a person’s death bask (14C) to bathe in blood
bless (Old English) to redden with blood; then to consecrate
SLAPSAUCE Food
An apple pie without the cheese is like the kiss without the squeeze (1929)
British food is often unfavourably compared with the cuisines of other nations. But why on earth should this be? dribble-beards (Scotland 1829) long strips of cabbage in broth dog and maggot (U K military forces) biscuits and cheese chussha-wagga (Worcestershire) inferior cheese
druschoch (Ayrshire) any liquid food of a nauseating appearance
HORSE FODDER
Dr Johnson famously described oats as ‘a grain which is in England given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people’. Turnips on the other hand have long sustained people on both sides of the border. In the dialect of north-east England they have been known as bagies, naggies,
narkies, nashers, snadgers, snaggers, snannies, snarters, tungies and yammies. In Scotland they’re called neeps, as in bashed neeps (mashed turnips) the traditional accompaniment to haggis.
KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL
Pig-months (19C) are those months in the year which have an ‘r’ in their name: that is, all except the summer months of May, June, July or August, when it was traditionally considered unwise to eat pork (or shell sh). But however safe your ingredients, correct preparation is essential: spitchcock (1675) to prepare an eel for the table bonx (Essex) to beat up batter for pudding
engastration (1814) the act of stu ng one bird into another (the result is called a turducken)
sclench (Shropshire) to check water at its boiling point, by dashing cold water into it
swinge (Newfoundland 1896) to burn the down o sea-birds after plucking the feathers
CAT’S PRAYERS
Fancy names abound for di
erent types of food, whether they be barely edible, plain or thought of as a delicacy:
Boston strawberries (U S late 19C) baked beans
call-dog (Jamaican English 1943) a sh too small for human consumption (so one calls the dog to eat it) rst lady (U S drugstore jargon 1930s) spare ribs (Eve was made from Adam’s rib)
scuttle-mouth (1848) a small oyster in a very large shell
pishpash (Anglo-Indian) a slop of rice-soup with small pieces of meat in it
bobby-jub (Yorkshire) strawberries and cream dandyfunk (nautical jargon 1883) a ship’s biscuit, soaked in water, mixed with fat and molasses, and baked in a pan
spadger (Tudor–Stuart) a sparrow; something small and tasty (sparrows were an Elizabethan delicacy) armored cow (U S army slang 1940s) canned milk
honeymoon salad (U S diner jargon) lettuce alone (i.e. ‘let us alone’)
honeymoon salad (U S diner jargon) lettuce alone (i.e. ‘let us alone’)
Adam and Eve on a raft (U S diner jargon) two fried eggs on a piece of toast
GIVE AND TAKE AND EAT IT – RHYMING SLANG
Some rhyming slang simply rhymes but the best stu
takes it further, with the meaning carried across:
borrow and beg (late 19C) an egg (the term enjoyed a fresh lease of life during the Second World War food-rationing period) give and take (20C) cake (no cake can be eaten that has not been given)
satin and silk (American Paci c Coast 20C) milk (suggestive of this liquid food’s smoothness) army and navy (early 20C) gravy (which was plentiful at meal times in both services)
didn’t ought (late 19C) port (based on the replies of ladies who, when asked to ‘have another’, said that they ‘didn’t ought’)
PLUS ONE
W hatever you put on your table, you can be fairly sure that there’ll be someone around to hoover it up: smell-feast (1519) one who haunts good tables, a greedy sponger
cosherer (1634) someone who feasts or lives upon the industry of others slapsauce (1573) a person who enjoys eating ne food, a glutton
hodger (U S slang) a guest who eats all of the host’s food and drinks all of the host’s drinks
STOP PINGLING
Perhaps the best you can hope for is reasonable table manners: dooadge (Yorkshire) to handle food in a messy way (often said of children) mimp (1861) to play with one’s food
pingle (Su olk) to move food about on the plate for want of an appetite sword swallower (Australian slang) someone eating from his knife, especially among shearers
ya e (1788) to eat or drink especially noisily or greedily … or at least guests who aren’t fussy eaters: pica (1563) a strong and unnatural craving for unsuitable food (such as chalk), which occurs during pregnancy
pica (1563) a strong and unnatural craving for unsuitable food (such as chalk), which occurs during pregnancy omophagist (1884) a person who eats raw esh
pozzy-wallah (Tommies’ slang 1914–18) a man inordinately fond of jam
POST-PRANDIAL
And then, hunger sated, you have the opportunity to sit back, digest and relax. Just keep an eye on all your guests … rizzle (1890) to enjoy a short period of absolute idleness after a meal
nooningscaup (Yorkshire 18C) the labourer’s resting time after dinner
dando (19C) one who frequents hotels, eating-houses and other such places, satis es his appetite and decamps without payment
WORD JOURNEYS omelette (17C from French via Latin) a thin at blade
pittance (13C from Latin via Old French) originally a pious request; then (14C) donations to monastic orders on a person’s death to be
spent on food and wine to be served on the anniversary of the donor’s death; then (16C) these diminished to the extent of meaning a sparing allowance
bulb (17C from Ancient Greek via Latin) an onion
companion (18C from Latin) someone who eats bread with you
CRAMBAZZLED Drink
It’s all right to drink like a sh
– if you drink what a sh drinks (1938)
After your meal, what could be better than a cup of tea. Just make sure you’ve remembered to warm the pot and observe all the other niceties: to drown the miller to put too much water into tea (the supply of water is so great that even the miller, who uses a water wheel, is drowned with it)
stranger (Sussex) a single tea-leaf oating in a cup of tea
laptea (U S slang) a crowded tea party where guests sit in each other’s laps
to smash the teapot (late 19C) to abandon one’s pledge of abstinence from alcohol (the symbolic rejection of tea as one’s sole liquid stimulant)
DOWN AT THE OLD BULL AND BUSH
In Britain the drinking of alcohol has always been, for better or worse, at the heart of the community. The Romans had
tabernae (the origin of
our word tavern), which turned into the Anglo-Saxon alehouses, where a brewer would put a green bush up on a pole when the ale was ready to drink:
kiddleywink (1830) an unlicensed public house
build a sconce (18C) to run up a large bill at a tavern especially when one has no intention of paying brendice (1673) a cup in which a person’s health is drunk
spit chips (Australian slang 1901) to have extreme thirst (from the idea of having dry wood in your mouth)
airing (Sydney slang) the action of bartenders of balancing, catching, ipping, spinning or throwing bottles, glasses, napkins or straws with nesse and style
MINE’S A NIPPITATUM
The traditional pint comes in many forms: arms and legs (U K slang 19C) weak beer (i.e. a drink that has no body)
nippitatum (1576) exceptionally strong beer
barbed wire (Australian slang, Darwin) Four X beer (from the xxxx symbol)
barbed wire (Australian slang, Darwin) Four X beer (from the xxxx symbol)
parson’s collar (1940s) the froth on top of a glass of beer neckum, sinkum and swankum (Berkshire) the three draughts into which a jug of beer is divided
ON THE NAIL
Though for re
ned types more Continental beverages may be preferred, whatever their quality:
supernaculum (1592) the nest wine, which is so good it is drunk to the last drop, referring to the custom of turning over a drained glass and letting the last drop of wine fall onto the thumbnail (from the Latin ‘upon the nail’)
butler’s perks (U K euphemism) opened but un nished bottles of wine beeswing (1860) the scum found on the surface of aged wine balderdash (1611) adulterated wine
PEARLY GATES
The names of British pubs are not all that they seem – certainly if you’re looking at the picture on the sign hanging outside them. The Cat and Fiddle didn’t derive from a music-loving publican who kept cats, but is a corruption of Catherine le Fidèle, which refers to the
faithfulness of Catherine of Aragon, Henry VIII’s rst wife. The Hope and Anchor comes from the Biblical text ‘We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope’; The Cross Keys is the symbol of St Peter, the gatekeeper of heaven; and The Royal Oak commemorates the tree that hid Charles II from Oliver Cromwell’s forces after his defeat at Worcester.
LAST GASPER
In Tudor times
drink actually meant to smoke tobacco, something you could once do inside the bar. Now the misocapnists (1839), those who
hate the smell of smoke, are in charge, so that’s a pleasure restricted to the pavements outside: smirting (U S slang New York) irting between people who are smoking cigarettes outside a pub, o ce etc. vogueress (Polari slang) a female smoker
casablanca (Tommies’ slang 1914–18) the last one, especially of cigarettes doofer (workmen’s slang b.1935) half a cigarette
toss the squares (U S black slang) to pass a packet of cigarettes whi er (1617) a smoker of tobacco
JUST THE ONE
Take it or leave it, boozing is a serious business: cagg (U K military slang b.1811) a solemn vow or resolution used by private soldiers not to get drunk for a certain time
parson palmer (late 18C) a term of reproach, to one who stops the decanter circulating by preaching over his liquor (as was done by a parson of that name whose cellar was under his pulpit)
du
e (Aberdeenshire) to lay a bottle on its side for some time, after its contents have been poured out, so that it may be completely drained of
the remaining few drops
SPEAKEASY
Just make sure your companions understand the importance of paying their way: to raddle someone’s toe (Australian late 19C) to request someone to buy a round of drinks
twizzling (Sussex) spinning a pointer on a pub ceiling to decide who should buy the next round
decorate the mahogany (Hobo slang) to buy the drinks; to line the bar with thirsty throats and brimming glasses
decorate the mahogany (Hobo slang) to buy the drinks; to line the bar with thirsty throats and brimming glasses shot-clog (1599) an unwelcome drinking companion tolerated because he pays for the drinks
DRINK AND BE MERRY?
Soon, if you’re not exactly
zig-zag – Tommies’ slang from the First World War for the state where it’s impossible to walk in a straight line – the
booze will certainly be making itself felt: hozzy nozzy (Rutland) not quite drunk
bleezed (Scotland 19C) the state of one on whom intoxicating liquor begins to operate: especially describing the change produced in one’s facial expression cherubimical (Benjamin Franklin 1737) benevolently drunk
tenant in tail (mid 17C) one whose drunkenness promotes indiscriminate displays of a ection whi ed (P. G.Wodehouse: Meet Mr Mulliner 1927) drunk
FROM SHEEP TO SOW
In Lincolnshire they marked out four distinct phases of intoxication. A man was
sheep drunk when he was merry and easily handled; then lion
drunk when he was brave and boastful; ape drunk when he got up to silly, irresponsible tricks; and nally sow drunk when he fell to the ground in an alcoholic stupor.
TWO TOO MANY
Sailors are legendary for their drinking prowess but watch out for these two: admiral of the narrow seas (early 17C) a drunkard who vomits over his neighbour
vice admiral of the narrow seas (1811) a drunken man that pisses under the table into his companions’ shoes
THE MOURNING AFTER
Being drunk means never having to say you’re sorry, until the next morning of course when you forswear alcohol for tea again: take a sheep-bed (Wiltshire) to lie down like a sheep to sleep in a grass- eld, till one is sober
woo ts (1918) a hangover; a vague unwell feeling; a headache; a moody depression
gun re (Service slang) early morning tea (because it often has to be of considerable strength to counteract a bad head) to feel as if a cat had kitten’d in one’s mouth (16C) to feel the nauseous after-e ects of drinking crambazzled (Yorkshire) prematurely aged through drink and a dissolute life
WORD JOURNEYS bonkers (early 20C) slightly tipsy
tobacconist (16C) a tobacco smoker grape (11C from Old French) a hook for gathering fruit; then a cluster of fruit growing together stale (13C) old and strong (applied to wine and ale having stood long enough to clear of sediment)
FOOTER-FOOTER Taking o
A traveller must have the backe of an asse
to beare all, a tung like the taile of a dog to
atter all, the mouth of a hogge to eate what is set before him, the eare of a merchant to heare all and say nothing (1594)
Going for a walk is the quintessential English form of relaxation; but there are many varieties within the basic idea of putting one foot in front of another … mantle (Lincolnshire) to walk aimlessly up and down with short steps starp (North East) to walk with long strides
footer-footer (Scotland 1894) to walk in an a ected mincing manner nuddle (Su olk) to walk alone with the head held low
slochet (Bedfordshire 1809) to walk with shoes nearly falling o the feet festination (1878) walking faster and faster involuntarily … and sometimes it can all seem a bit too much: pou
(Ban shire) the act of walking with a heavy step, especially through weariness
plout (North East) to struggle to walk
surbater (1633) someone who tires another person out by walking hox (Gloucestershire) to knock the feet together while walking
dot and go one (b.1811) to waddle: of people with one leg shorter than the other
darby-roll (19C) a style of walking that betrays an individual’s experience of fetters and thus time spent in prison
BONE-BREAKER
So why not take up that e
cient, ecological and highly fashionable way of getting around – just be sure not to irt with its dangers:
croggie (U K school slang) a ride on the crossbar or handlebars of another rider’s bicycle
blackadder (West Scotland playground slang) the action of allowing a bike to continue its journey without a rider (usually performed at the top of hills on either old, borrowed or stolen bikes)
endo (U S slang San Francisco 1987) a bicycling accident in which the rider is thrown over the handlebars SMIDSY (cyclists’ acronym) Sorry Mate, I Didn’t See You
acrobrat (U K playground slang 1970s) a kid who attaches poles to the front axle of his bike so he can bounce up and down on the front wheel
GO CART
Once upon a time more substantial vehicles moved slowly and with di
culty:
unicorn (1785) a coach drawn by three horses, two abreast and one in the lead
timwhisky (1764) a light carriage for one or two people, pulled by one or two horses
quarter (Shropshire) to drive a cart in a lane with deep ruts, in such a way as to keep each wheel clear of them
to hunt the squirrel (18C) for two coachmen to attempt to upset each other’s vehicles as they race along a public road (veering from side to side like a frightened squirrel)
Now the opposite is too often the case: garyboy (East Anglia slang 1995) a male who drives a car usually noticeable by its sporty appearance and souped up engine
swoop and squat (U S slang 2005) to pull in front of another vehicle and slam on the brakes, deliberately causing an accident to collect the insurance money
chawbuckswar (Anglo-Indian) a rough rider
TICKET TO RIDE
Not that you need to have your own transport to get around: y canaries (underworld slang 1945) to pass o used tram tickets as new ones
monkey board (mid 19C) the step on the bus on which the conductor stands
hong! and midor! (U K transport workers’ jargon) ‘hurry along’ and ‘mind the doors’
Cinderella fare (U S cabdrivers’ slang) people left behind on the platform when the last train leaves late at night
I SPY
Travelling piquet (1785–1840) was one way bored travellers amused themselves when riding together in a carriage. Scores were given for people and objects passing by on their side of the carriage, as follows: a man or woman walking = 1 a horseman = 2
a post chaise = 5
a ock of geese = 10
a ock of sheep = 20
a man with a woman behind him = 30
a man, woman and child, in a buggy = 40
a man, woman and child, in a buggy = 40 a cat looking out of a window = 60
an old woman under a hedge = game won
a parson riding a grey horse with blue tack = game won
GRICER’S DAUGHTER
L et’s not forget those who are happy just to watch. Trainspotters may be mocked by the outside world, but they don’t take criticism lying down: the language of gricing is notable for its acidic descriptions of outsiders. bert the majority of people on trains, only interested in getting from A to B insects occasional railway enthusiasts who swarm at certain times of year
kettle basher someone obsessed with steam engines (looked on as an e ete sentimentalist)
baglet a woman, generally looked upon with unfriendliness. Gricers are invariably male. Worst of all women is whose reluctance to travel by train was legendary and who set the privatization of British Rail in progress
The Baglet – Lady Thatcher,
ELSEWHERE
Hopefully you will arrive safely at your destination. Though some places, traditionally, have been more euphemistic than real. You could go to … Jericho (late 18C) to become drunk
Bath (mid 17C) to take up life as a beggar
Chicago (U S late 19C) to run away, especially to avoid one’s debts Copenhagen (1950s) to have a sex operation
the Bahamas (U S slang) to be sent to solitary con nement Peckham (early 19C) to sit down to eat
WORD JOURNEYS muddle (17C) to wallow in mud
walk (from German) to press cloth, knead or roll paste; then (Old English) to roll, toss, move about insult (16C from Latin) to leap upon; then (16C) to glory or triumph over
random (15C) great speed, violence; then (17C) of a shot: haphazard, without purpose, red at any range other than point blank
MUTTONERS AND GOLDEN FERRETS Sport
Sport is sweetest when there be no lookers on (1616)
Sport has always been a part of British national life. In the beginning were the informal games that anyone could play anywhere: way-zaltin (Somerset) a game in which two persons standing back to back interlace each other’s arms and by bending forward alternately raise each other from the ground
hot cockles (1580) a rustic game in which one player lay face downwards, or knelt down with his eyes covered, and being struck by the others in turn, guessed who struck him
hinch-pinch (1603) a game where one person hits another softly, then the other player hits back with a little more force, and each subsequent blow in turn is harder, until it becomes a real ght
IN TOUCH
Many of our best-known sports started life in similar fashion. The earliest games of football involved one village taking on another, in violent, day-long combats where broken legs and bruised heads were common. Current slang reveals that underneath, perhaps, little has changed: blaggudy (Wales) rough, dirty (especially of a football or rugby team)
clogger (U K slang 1970) a soccer player who regularly injures other players
sprig-stomping (New Zealand 1993) the deliberate stamping with studded boots on a recumbent rugby opponent falling leaf a long-range shot in football which sees the ball change direction radically in the course of its ight spaghetti-legs routine a goalkeeper’s trick employed to distract a penalty taker
SECONDS AWAY
Another of our oldest sports had similar rough-and-tumble beginnings:
clow (Winchester 19C) a box on the ear
glass jaw (U S slang 1940) of a boxer with an inability to withstand a punch to the chin
haymaker (1912) an unrestrained punch usually leading to a knockout, whereby the st is swung wide in an arc claret christening (b.1923) the rst blood that ows in a boxing match
waterboy (U S police slang 1930s) a boxer who can be bribed or coerced into losing for gambling purposes
FROM LAND’S END TO BROADWAY
W restling, too, has become less violent and more theatrical over the years, with a terminology that dates back to its origins, supplemented by more recent slang from around the world … falx (Tudor–Stuart) a grip round the small of the back
Cornish hug a hug that causes one to be thrown over (Cornish men were famous wrestlers) sugarbagging the tossing of an opponent onto the canvas as if he were a bag of sugar
whizzer an arm lock trapping one’s arm against the opponent’s body from a position behind him potato (U S slang 1990) a real hit that injures, as opposed to an orchestrated, harmless one jobber a wrestler whose primary function is losing to better-known wrestlers
broadway a drawn result (so-called because, ideally, the result makes both men bigger stars)
OVER AND OUT
Another quintessentially English game has a host of extraordinary terms, from the mid-o
yorker (a ball pitched directly at the batsman’s feet) to silly
(a elding position close to and in front of the batsman). Other words have fallen out of fashion:
muttoner (Winchester College 1831) a blow from a cricket ball on the knuckles, the bat being at the time clasped by them slobber (1851) to fail to grasp the cricket ball cleanly in elding
bowl a gallon (Eton College c.1860) to get a hat-trick (the bowler then earned a gallon of beer)
TO THE 19TH
For the more senior sportsman, another gentler but equally demanding game with British (well Scottish, strictly) roots has been successfully exported around the world. First comes the teeing o , with all the problems that that entails: waggle pre-stroke trial movements
scla ng skidding the club over the grass before it hits the ball skull to hit the ball too far above its centre
shank to hit the ball with the neck of the club whi
a stroke that misses the ball
then the slow or fast progression down the fairway: chilli-dip a weak, lofted shot that follows a mis-hit that has managed to hit more ground than ball (from the image of taking a taco and scooping up a helping of chilli)
fried egg a ball lying embedded in sand
golden ferret a golf stroke where the ball is holed from a bunker
mulligan a free extra shot sometimes taken as a second chance in a social match to a player who has made a bad one, not counted on his scorecard
before the triumphant arrival at the green: frog hair the well-cut grass that divides the fairway from the green itself and is of a length and smoothness somewhere between the two steamy a short shot or a putt that passes over or through the green sti
a shot that stops so close to the hole that it must be impossible to miss the putt
TOUCHÉ
Fencing, by contrast to all of the above, originated on the Continent and so has a language with a very European feel: mandritta (Tudor–Stuart 1595) a cut from right to left
passado (Shakespeare: Love’s Labour’s Lost 1588) a motion forwards and a thrust volt (1692) to leap with both feet in the air by your opponent’s left shoulder
appel a tap or stamp of the foot, serving as a warning of one’s intent to attack
derobement an evasion of the opponent’s attempt to take or beat the blade while keeping the sword arm straight and threatening the opponent
TOUR DE FRANCE
Since their invention in France in 1860, bicycles have been eagerly embraced by our Gallic neighbours. So it’s hardly surprising that cycling is a sport with French jargon: musette a small cotton shoulder bag containing food that’s handed to riders during a race
domestique a member of a professional cycling team, whose job is to ride solely for the bene t of the team and team leader, instead of their own glory
lanterne rouge the overall last-place rider in a stage race (from the red light found on the back of a train) But as soon as things start going wrong, we’re back to good old English: bonk a cyclist’s feeling of being devoid of energy
sag wagon the vehicle that carries bicyclists that have withdrawn from the event (due to injury, bicycle malfunction, tiredness etc.)
HEY DUDE!
Surfers follow the waves; and though you can
nd something to ride on in Newquay, they’re altogether bigger, better and harder to stay on in
Big Sur and Bondi … shark biscuit (Australian slang c.1910) a novice surfer
hang ve (U S 1960s) to ride with the toes of one foot hooked over the front of the board
knots the bruises and cuts gained from battling the waves and his board (a surfer’s status mark) grubbing falling o your board while sur ng
frube a surfer who does not catch a wave for the whole time they are in the water
hodad (1962) a show-o who hangs around sur ng beaches, boasting of his exploits and trying to pick up girls, who has rarely, if ever, tried to surf
cowabunga! (Australian slang 1954) a shout of elation on sur ng down a superb wave
COLORADO CLIFFHANGER
Climbing terms, likewise, come from mountainous places: gingich (Scotland 1716) the chief climber or leader in climbing rocks ash (Canada 1995) to climb a wall successfully on the rst try
dynoing (Colorado 1992) leaping to a distant or out-of-reach hand hold
hang-dogging (Colorado 1992) a derogatory term for inexperienced climbers who hang on the rope while attempting feats beyond their ability
TROLLING AND YUMPING
Every sport, indeed, has both specialized terminology and also the kind of insiders’ slang that makes seasoned practitioners feel quietly di whether that be …
erent,
Rowing … gully-shooting (b.1891) pointing oars upwards when rowing
gimp seat seat number 3 in an eight-person boat (often regarded as having the least responsibility) blip-o! (late 19C) a derisive cry at a boat’s coxswain colliding with anything Tennis … ketchepillar (early 16C) a tennis player nacket (1833) a tennis ball-boy Gymnastics … co ee grinder a manoeuvre from a squatting position on the oor involving a circle of the leg while keeping both hands on the oor i s a twisting double somersault performed on the trampoline
y-away a horizontal-bar dismount method with a backward somersault Billiards … feather to run the cue backwards and forwards across the bridge between nger and thumb prior to making a shot english the spin imparted to the ball
cocked hat a shot in which the ball hit by the white rebounds o three di erent cushions towards a middle pocket or any of the other ways active people have found to pass their time, from long ago … cock-squailing an old Shrove Tuesday sport involving inging sticks at a cock tied by the leg, one penny per throw and whoever kills him takes him away
strag (Lancashire) to decoy other people’s pigeons
trolling (Yorkshire) rolling hardboiled eggs down a slope (on Easter Monday) dwile unking (Su olk) oorcloth throwing (a serious, competitive game)
postman’s knock (Oxfordshire) a method of sliding on ice (by moving on one foot and tapping the ice with the other) to right now … to do an Ollie (skateboarding) to ip your ride in the air and stay aloft upon it
yump (rally-driving) to leave the ground in one’s vehicle when going over a ridge
sandbagging (motorcycle racing) a stratagem whereby the favourite lets the rest of the eld go on ahead, con dent that when necessary he can regain the lead and win the race as expected
bulldogging (rodeo) to leap o a horse and then wrestle with a steer (the intention being to twist it by the horns and force it over onto the ground)
zorbing (New Zealand) harnessing oneself inside a huge in atable PVC ball, then rolling more than 650 feet downhill
WORD JOURNEYS upshot (16C) the nal shot in archery that decided a match racket (16C from Arabic via French) the palm of the hand
umpire (15C from Latin: non par , via Old French) not equal
gymnasium (16C from Ancient Greek via Latin) a school for exercising in the nude
RUBBY-DUBBY Country pursuits
He that would have good luck in
horses must kiss the parson’s wife (1678)
By long tradition in Britain, certain outdoor activities have been elevated to a higher category, that of ‘
eld sports’. The most controversial of
these is currently banned by law, though what this ban actually amounts to is anyone’s guess: own the moment in a hunt when the hounds show that they have found a scent cut a voluntary to fall o one’s horse while hunting
craner (c.1860) one who hesitates at a di cult jump tantivy (1641) at full gallop
shoe-polisher a derisive term for a dog that doesn’t stray far from a hunter’s feet
TALLY HO!
Since 2004 deer can no longer be pursued with hounds in the U K, marking the end of a tradition dating back well before these terms from the Tudor–Stuart period: abatures the traces left by a stag in the underwood through which he has passed velvet-tip the down upon the rst sprouting horns of a young deer rascal a lean deer not t to hunt
rechate the calling together of the hounds in hunting dowcets the testicles of a deer
GAME ON
You may however still stalk and shoot these animals, as you may game birds such as pheasant or grouse. Which is perhaps ironic when you consider how much more e cient an instrument a gun is than a pack of hounds. As the Victorian dramatist W. S. Gilbert put it, ‘Deer stalking would be a very ne sport if only the deer had guns’. collimate (1837) to close an eye to aim at a target
collimate (1837) to close an eye to aim at a target nipshot (1568) in shooting: amiss in some way
re into the brown (1871) shooting into the midst of a covey instead of singling out one bird
tailor (1889) to shoot at a bird, trying to miss
air washed a bird that lands and doesn’t move or falls dead in the air and hits the ground (thus giving o very little scent on the ground and being di cult for dogs to nd)
making game of a dog when it nds fresh scent
BIRDING
A gentler approach to our feathered friends has its own special terminology. And as any
birder will tell you, it’s simply not accurate to call them
all twitchers: squeaking noisily kissing the back of your hand in order to attract hidden birds lifer a particular bird seen for the rst time
getting a tick seeing a bird you’ve not seen before gripping o
seeing a bird when someone else doesn’t
stringer a person suspected of lying about bird sightings dipping out missing seeing a bird
whi ing of geese: descending rapidly from a height once the decision to land has been made, involving fast side-slipping rst one way and then the other
GETTING HOOKED
Another ancient
eld sport remains highly unlikely to be banned (at least while Britain remains a democracy):
broggle (1653) to sh, especially for eels, by thrusting a sharp stick with bait on it into holes in the river bed zulu (1898) an arti cial y
zgig (1565) a kind of dart or harpoon with which seamen strike sh
guddle (1818) to catch trout by groping with the hands under the stones or banks of a stream angletwitch (c.940) a worm used as bait in shing
rubby-dubby (game shing jargon) the minced sh (mackerel, pilchards etc.) used as a bait for larger sh especially sharks angishore (Newfoundland) a man too lazy to sh
ROYAL FLUSH
One pursuit of folk from country and town alike is known also as ‘the sport of kings’, a moniker that certainly remains appropriate with our current crop of royals: persuader (Australian slang) the jockey’s whip
poppism (1653) the smacking sound with which riders encourage their horses
call a cab the jockey’s action in waving one arm to hold his balance when he and the horse are taking a fence drummer a horse that throws about his fore legs irregularly
morning glory a horse ‘ catching pigeons ’ (showing great promise on the training gallops) but unable to repeat the form on a racetrack airedale (U S slang 1960s) a worthless racehorse post the blue (b.1909) to win the Derby
GIFT HORSES
W ith large sums of money involved, the temptation to tamper with the proper result is as old as racing itself: ingler (underworld slang 1797) a crooked horse breeder
bishop to disguise the age of a horse by tinkering with its teeth
drop anchor fraudulently to cause a horse to run slowly in a race hook (New Zealand 1910) to ride a horse with the aim of losing
ODDS ON
Down by the track, there’s little that passes the bookies by: pencil-fever (c.1872) the laying of odds against a horse certain to lose
springer (U K slang 1922) a horse on which the odds suddenly shorten
skinner (Australian slang 1891) a horse which wins at long odds (a betting coup for bookmakers who do not have to pay out on a heavily backed favourite)
stickout (U S slang 1937) a racehorse that seems a certain winner nap (bookies’ jargon) a racing tipster’s best bet of the day
scaler (New Zealand 1908) a bookmaker who decamps without paying out They’ve even developed their own method of communication without words, known as tic-tac, where they signal with their arms to
communicate complicated changes in the odds to outside bookmakers. To these professionals, there’s slang for any bet you care to make: macaroni odds of 20/1 carpet odds of 3/1
elef a vier odds of 11/4 bottle odds of 2/1
shoulder odds of 7/4 ear’ole odds of 6/4
up the arm odds of 11/8 wrist odds of 5/4
VERY GOOD GOING
In the U S and Australia (amongst other places) they have their own words for particular combinations of winners: exacta or perfecta a wager in which the rst two nishers in a race, in exact order of nish, must be picked
quinella a wager in which rst two nishers must be picked, but payo is made no matter which of the two wins and which runs second
trifecta to pick three horses in a particular race to nish 1st, 2nd and 3rd (the payout is determined by the betting pool on the turnover of the particular bet)
superfecta a bet that forecasts in correct order the rst four horses in a given race
WORD JOURNEYS jockeys (16C) horse traders (once called Jocks: men of the people) allure (15C from Old French) to bait: a device in falconry used by hunters to call back their hawks relay (15C from Old French) to loose the hounds; a pack of fresh hounds held in reserve to relieve a previous pack croupier (18C from French) a pillion rider, a rider on the croup of a horse; then someone who stood behind a gambler and gave advice
MADHOUSE Indoor games and hobbies
Cards and dice … the devil’s books and the devil’s bones (1676)
There’s no shortage of enjoyable activities for those who would rather not brave our famously awful weather. Even the simplest-seeming have a complex terminology worth getting to know: murgatroyd a badly manufactured tiddlywink, at on both sides squopped of a free tiddlywink that lands on another wink
blitz an attempt to pot all six winks of your own colour early in the game
crud a forceful shot whose purpose is to destroy a pile of winks completely lunch to pot a squopped wink (usually belonging to an opponent)
boondock to send an opponent’s tiddlywink a long way away, preferably o the table
LOW ROLLERS
The number of nicknames for marbles indicates what a popular game this is too (and still so in the age of the Game Boy® and the computer). In the dialect of the north-east of England, for example, marbles have been known as alleys, boodies, glassies, liggies, marvels, muggles, penkers, parpers and scudders. That’s just the start of it:
irt (Yorkshire) to ick a marble with nger and thumb
fullock (Shropshire) to shoot a marble in an irregular way by jerking the st forward instead of hitting it o by the force of the thumb only deegle (Cheshire) a stolen marble
neggy-lag (Yorkshire) the penultimate shot
hawk (Newfoundland) to win all an opponent’s marbles
smuggings! (U K teen slang mid 19C) mine! (the exclamation used at the end of a game of marbles or spinning tops when the child who shouted rst was allowed to keep the toy in question)
DICEMAN
W hen you get a little older, it becomes more interesting to throw objects with a more challenging set of possibilities: snake eyes (North American slang 1929) getting double ones, the lowest score (supposedly resembling a snake’s stare) box cars (underworld slang 1937) double 6 (from their similarity to the wheels of freight cars) gate to stop the dice moving before they have actually come to rest
ARRERS
Many grown-up indoor games are found in that
ne old British institution, the pub. One pastime in particular speaks of generations of players
with ne imaginations and plenty of time on their hands: monger a person who deliberately scores many more points than needed to win the game Robin Hood when a dart sticks into a previous dart
married man’s side the left-hand side of a dart board (numbers 12, 9, 14, 11, 8 and 16) that would get a reasonable score (the rationale being a
married man’s side the left-hand side of a dart board (numbers 12, 9, 14, 11, 8 and 16) that would get a reasonable score (the rationale being a married man should always play safe)
right church, wrong pew hitting a double but the wrong number slop darts that score, but not where you wanted them
masonry darts darts thrown so that they miss the board entirely and hit the wall instead spray ’n’ pray darts thrown by an irate and less talented player, rather quickly bunting the art of throwing while on your knees
FEVVERS
And that’s just a fraction of the jargon. All the scores in darts have their own names too. Remember, when playing darts you’re counting down, not up, starting from a set 301 or 501 and trying to end up with exactly zero, a process which is known as doubling out : madhouse double 1 (i.e. what you’re left in until you nish the game by achieving it)
fevvers a score of 33 (from the 19C Cockney tongue twister: ‘thirty-three feathers on a thrush’s throat’) scroat a dart that is aimed for treble 20, but ends up in double 20
sh and globe a score of 45 (when competing on a fairground darts stall, 45 was a score that traditionally would win the customer a small paper bag of peanuts which later became the o er of a jar (globe) and a gold sh)
Lord Nelson a score of III (as he had one eye, one arm, one leg)
POKER FACE
A cool head and an expressionless face will serve you well in a game that otherwise relies on luck – unless of course you have other tricks up your sleeve: runt a poker hand worth less than a pair
motown a poker hand consisting of ‘jacks-on- ves’
vole the winning by one player of all the tricks of a deal; a grand-slam pone the player who cuts the cards
hop a secret move made after the cut which puts the cards back in the original position and negates that cut for the cheat’s bene t
crimp to bend one or more cards so that a cheat will be able to cut the deck as he wishes, or to know that an innocent player will be cutting the deck at that same desired card
there’s work down the announcement by one player that someone somehow is cheating
BIDDING WAR
The king of card games requires not just luck, but skill of the highest level: chicane (1886) the condition in a game of bridge of holding no trumps
bumble-puppy (1936) a game played at random (of people who play no conventions)
yarborough (19C) a bridge or whist hand with no card higher than a 9 (from a certain Earl of Yarborough who used to bet 1000 to 1 against the occurrence of such a hand; the actual odds are 1827 to 1)
ag- ying (1917) to make an overbid that will almost inevitably fail, just to liven up the game
huddle (U S 1934) a period of thought in which a player considers his next move
FULL HOUSE
For those habitués of the pack, there’s a
ne range of nicknames for individual cards:
devil’s bed-post (c.1835) the four of clubs, held to be unlucky grace-card (Irish mid 19C) the six of hearts in cards
curse of Scotland (early 18C) the nine of diamonds (diamonds imply royalty and traditionally every ninth king of Scotland has been considered a tyrant and a curse to that country)
blankets (1915) the tens in a pack of cards (from the rolling of blankets in the military in tens for the convenience of transport) noddy (Gloucestershire) the knave
suicide king the king of hearts (as the fteenth-century French picture shows him about to impale himself on his sword) the boy with the boots (Anglo-Irish late 19C) the joker in the pack of cards
HIGH STAKES
W hen you start to bring money into the picture, of course, both dice and cards can easily lose their innocence: shill a decoy player, allied to the promoters of the game, who pretends to bet, and is allowed to ‘win’ in street games of three-card monte; his successes are intended to lure the public into laying down their money
tattogey (underworld slang 1753) one who uses loaded dice to cheat
langret (mid 16C) a die so loaded that it shows 3 or 4 more often than any other number
DESPERATE BIDS
For some unfortunates, the impulse to win can stop being a game and become more a part of their lives. As the Aussies say, there are some people who would bet on two ies walking up the wall : martingale to continue doubling one’s stake after losing in the hope of eventual recovery
ring in one’s nose to be losing and betting heavily and impetuously in an attempt to get even (like a bull) shing remaining in a card game in the hope of a vital card
bird dog a small time or novice gambler who hangs around experienced professional gamblers to pick up tips nut the living expenses and other overheads that a gambler must meet from his winnings
MONTE CARLO OR BUST
For people like this, home games are soon no longer enough; a professional arena for their habit beckons; and there, of course, under the patina of respectability, pretty much anything goes: ladder man a casino employee who sits on a high chair and watches for any errors or cheating by players or croupiers booster a bit player in a casino who entices genuine players to bet (and usually lose) their money
top-hatting in roulette, the surreptitious placing of more casino chips on top of existing ones after the outcome has been decided
BINGO LINGO
Better to switch to a sociable game often favoured by the older woman, which comes with its own inimitable terminology. and legs eleven are well-known but there are many other traditional coinages: 1 buttered scone
6 Tom Mix (more modern: chopsticks) 7 Gawd’s in ’eaven
12 monkey’s cousin (from rhyming slang for dozen)
23 a duck and a ea (from the shape of the gures)
50 half-way house (1940s) (since there are 100 numbers available to the caller) 76 was she worf it? (from 7/6d, the old price of a marriage licence) 77 two little crutches (from the shape of the gures) 80 Gandhi’s breakfast (as he ‘ate nothing’)
ANORAKS
Or else give it up entirely and settle on a worthwhile and productive hobby: notaphily (1970) the collecting of paper currency as a hobby deltiologist (1959) a collector of picture postcards
cartophily (1936) the hobby of collecting cigarette cards
arctophile (1970s) a person who loves or collects teddy bears cruciverbalist (U S slang 1970s) a crossword puzzle addict
bowerbird (Australian slang) a person who collects an astonishing array of sometimes useless objects
WORD JOURNEYS hazard (13C) a game of dice
Two fat ladies (88)
hazard (13C) a game of dice
forfeit (13C from Latin via Old French) ‘done beyond the bounds of’ the law, a crime depart (13C from Latin via Old French) to divide into parts, distribute
MUSH FAKERS AND APPLESQUIRES The world of work
He that hopes to thrive must rise at ve; he that has thriven, may lie till seven; but he that will never thrive may lie till eleven (1640)
Even in these days of welfare, or
national handbag as Polari slang (see page 157) evocatively has it, most of us have to work at something to
make ends meet. However specialized or odd our occupation may be, we can take comfort from the fact that in harsher times, jobs came in all shapes and sizes:
legger (Yorkshire) a man employed to move canal boats through tunnels by walking on the roof or sides of the tunnel fottie (Scottish) a female wool-gatherer
murenger (Cheshire 1706) an o cer appointed to keep the walls of a city in repair
sewer (Tudor–Stuart) an attendant at a meal who superintended the seating of the guests and the tasting and the serving of the dishes shore-man (Cockney) one who searches sewers for rats pure- nder (c.1850) a street collector of dogs’ dung
applesquire (late 16C) the male servant of a prostitute
gong-farmer (1596) a person who cleaned out privies at night and sold the waste as a fertilizer screever (1851) a professional writer of begging letters
glutman (1796) a temporary customs o cer (hired because of his ability to be numerate) lodger-remover (underworld slang 1889) a seller of ne-toothed haircombs mush faker (1821) an umbrella repairer (‘mushroom-faker’)
resurrection doctor (1800s) a doctor who buys corpses which are stolen from graves, or has people murdered and delivered to him whi er (1539) an o cer armed with a weapon who clears the way for a procession
COLOUR CODED
Nowadays many jobs can be seen as either
white or blue collar, where the former are those who wear a suit and work in o ces, and the latter
those getting their hands dirty in a boilersuit. The designation white came rst, in 1921, and blue followed in 1950. Since then imaginative
those getting their hands dirty in a boilersuit. The designation white came rst, in 1921, and blue followed in 1950. Since then imaginative business writers and others have added yet more categories: pink (1975) secretaries and other clerical sta steel (1980) robots
grey (1981) skilled technicians; employees whose job descriptions combine some white- and some blue-collar duties green (1984) environmentalists
gold (1985) professionals or those with in-demand skills; employees over 55 black (1998) miners (especially coal miners) and oil workers scarlet (2000) female pornographic shop operators
ELBOW GREASE
But whatever your job, whether it be typing at a word-processor or hauling coal, there is one element in common: at some point you have to get stuck in to doing the work: swallow the frog to tackle the hardest task possible knife-and-fork it to deal with it bit by bit
antisocordist (1680) an opponent of laziness or idiocy
uttergrub (Sussex) a man who takes a delight in working about in the dirt, and getting into every possible mess
work for Jesus (U S industrial relations) to put in extra work without asking for extra pay
JOBSWORTH
Of course there are always those who manage to slow productivity in some way or other. As the Australians say, they’re
as useless as an ashtray
on a motorbike: chair plug (2006) someone who sits in a meeting but contributes nothing
boondoggle (1935) to carry out valueless or extremely trivial work in order to convey the impression that one is busy to be on the shockell (Warwickshire) to neglect one’s work through beer
headless nail (1950s) a worker who, once he got into a job, was impossible to get out, even if unsuitable sunlighting (U S 1980s) doing a quite di erent job on one day of the working week
BRAINSTORMING
Ideas, as they say, are two a penny. But a sudden brainwave can be worth a month of pointless toil: quaesitum (1748) the answer to a problem
just-add-water (U K current o ce jargon) an idea that is so brilliantly simple yet e ective that it requires little by way of preparation limbeck (1599) to rack or fatigue the brain in an e ort to have a new idea
NO-DAY
However hard we try not to, we all have those days where our hard work seems to come to nought: blue duck (New Zealand 1890) something unpro table
windmill-tilt (U S jargon 2006) a fruitless and frustrating venture: attacking imaginary enemies or ghting otherwise-unwinnable battles salmon day (1990s) the entire day spent swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end
PUSHING THE ENVELOPE
The jargon of contemporary corporate life may seem absurd to the outsider, rich as it is in the most colourful of metaphors. But it’s certainly guaranteed to brighten up even the dullest day:
takeaway nuggets insights or information resulting from a meeting or interaction
sunset clauses stipulations that a contract or regulation will lapse unless renewed to wash its own face to justify or pay for itself
push the peanut to progress an arduous and delicate task forward
ketchup-bottle a long period of inertia followed by a burst of exaggerated activity; the unplanned release of pent-up forces swallow your own smoke to take responsibility for and/or su er the consequences of your mistakes
MANAGERIE
W hy are things so often discussed in animal terms? Is it because of a desperate subliminal desire to get out of the o
ce?
shoot the puppy to dare to do the unthinkable
prairie dogging popping one’s head above an o ce cubicle out of curiosity or to spy on colleagues lipstick on a pig an attempt to put a favourite spin on a negative situation a pig in a python a surge in a statistic measured over time
boiling frog syndrome a company which fails to recognize gradual market change (as a slowly boiled frog may not detect a slow temperature increase)
moose on the table an issue which everyone in a business meeting knows is a problem but which no one wants to address seagull manager a manager who ies in, makes a lot of noise, shits all over everything, and then leaves
THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY – OFFICE ACRONYMS SWOT Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats (a favourite of consultants) PICNIC Problem In Chair, Not In Computer
WOMBAT Waste Of Money, Brains And Time
POET’S day Piss O Early Tomorrow’s Saturday (refers to Friday)
BULLS AND BEARS
In good times and bad, the highly paid practitioners of both the City London and Wall Street have couched their dubious activities in their specialized jargon: J-Lo (Wall Street) the rounding bottom in a stock’s price chart (after the curvaceous Jennifer Lopez) Bo Derek (Wall Street) the perfect stock (after her famous lm 10)
poop and scoop to drive down a share price by spreading malicious rumours
mattressing the term used by other traders and bank managers to hide their results
barefoot pilgrim someone who has lost everything on the stock market, but might still be persuaded to invest again
catch a falling knife to buy a stock as its price is going down, in the hope that it will go back up, only to have it continue to fall
ROOM AT THE TOP
If you have ability, however, and enough patience to continue to play the game, you will slowly but surely make your way up the corporate ladder: royal jelly ashy projects fed to someone whom the boss is grooming for promotion
marzipan layer the group who are ranked below the very top in their profession, but ahead of the majority tribal chiefs bosses who dominate through charisma and patronage
deceptionist a secretary whose job it is to delay or block potential visitors on behalf of their boss
FIRM HAND
Though we’d all like to believe that hard work is always rewarded, with the best jobs going to the most productive people, the sad fact is that the realities of employing people are not always so straightforward: muppet shu e the redeployment of problem sta
featherbedding (1949) the practice of forcing the employer (by union rule etc.) to hire more workers than needed (or to limit his workers’ production)
kicked upstairs (1697) removed from the scene of action by promotion to an ostensibly higher post
other shoe syndrome when a number of executives in a rm are being made redundant, those survivors, rather than feeling relieved, nd their own morale sabotaged as they wait for ‘the other shoe’ to come down on them
chainsaw consultants outside experts brought in to reduce the employee headcount (leaving the top brass with clean hands)
THE SACK
So unpleasant is it to ask people to clear their desks and take their skills elsewhere, that a huge number of words and phrases has grown up to euphemistically describe the simple fact of redundancy. You might have been handed your cards or perhaps you’re clearing your desk ,
considering your position or maybe becoming a consultant. Maybe you’ve been deselected or you’re taking an early bath . Then again, perhaps you’re excess to requirements or you’ve even been excluded. You’re leaving to give time to your other commitments or else you’re o on
gardening leave. If you’re lucky you’ll have negotiated a golden handshake rather than merely being given a leave of absence or let go. When
you’re given notice let’s hope they don’t say it’s natural wastage or that you’ve been stood down . No, you’re spending more time with your wife and family, as it’s your right to do, even if your contract has been terminated and nobody could really describe this as a voluntary relocation .
SMALL IS BETTER
As for the ruthless companies themselves, why, they’re doing nothing more unnatural than a bit of
decruitment. They are in fact degrowing,
dehiring, delayering and desta ng. In a process of downsizing some employees have had to take early release. Yes, there is a bit of executive
outplacement and force reduction going on . Shall we call it internal reorganization? Nobody is being put out to grass . There’s been a personnel surplus reduction, indeed a straightforward rationalization of the workforce . Some people have been redeployed. There’s been a bit of
restructuring, some retrenching and rightsizing, not to mention schedule adjustment, selective separation and skill-mix adjustment. It’s all nothing more than a bit of transitioning, vocational relocation and workforce imbalance correction.
MY OLD MAN’S A …
Once upon a time, we were all quite happy to say exactly what it was we did. But as status has become ever more important, some quite straightforward occupations have developed some quite preposterous titles: vision clearance engineer a window cleaner stock replenishment adviser a shelf stacker
dispatch services facilitator a post room worker
head of verbal communications a receptionist/secretary environment improvement technician a cleaner
HAWKERS AND HUCKSTERS
However you dress him (or her) up, there’s no denying that a salesman is always a salesman. It’s an occupation that’s been around since men rst started trading beads and barley: cha erer (1382) a vendor who enjoys talking while making a sale mangonize (Tudor–Stuart) to sell men or boys for slaves
bend-down plaza (Jamaican English) a row of roadside pedlars, specializing in items that are hard to get in shops, because of import restrictions amster (Australian slang 1941) one who works outside a carnival, sideshow, strip club etc. touting the pleasures inside and pulling in the customers
click (1748) to stand at a shop-door and invite customers in
jaw-work! (mid 18C) a cry used in fairs by the sellers of nuts
WIDOWS AND ORPHANS
These guys know the price of everything, and its value too, and they’ve plenty of lingo to describe what they’re trying to get rid of … zhing-zhong (Zimbabwean slang) merchandise made in Asia; cheaply made, inexpensive or substandard goods halo model a super-product which enhances an entire brand
orphan (second-hand motor trade jargon) any discontinued model of a car
widow’s piano inferior instruments sold as bargains (from an advertisement announcing that a widow lady is compelled to sell her piano, for which she will take half price)
… how they do it … deaconing (U S slang 1866) the practice of packing food so that the nest specimens are visible
shillaber (North American slang 1913) someone posing as an enthusiastic or successful customer to encourage other buyers
trotting (auction jargon) the tactic whereby a dealer’s ring will force an outsider up to an unrealistically high bid, at which point they will drop out and leave their rival with a large bill
bovrilise (1901) to condense an advertisement to essentials … and those to whom they’re pitching their spiel …
nose picker a salesman’s derogatory description of a potential client who cannot make up their mind and has no power of decision-making within the rm
twack (Newfoundland 1937) a shopper who looks at goods, inquires about prices but buys nothing grey panthers (U S slang) assertive and/or exigent elderly consumers
THE READIES
At the end of it there’s one glorious commodity that makes it all worthwhile: stadge (Lancashire and Cheshire) the date of issue stamped upon coins mule (industry jargon) a coin or note which has two mismatched sides drink-link (Ireland slang 1990s) a cash dispenser
squiddish (Northumberland) the twentieth part of a farthing
chapmoney (Shropshire) money which the seller gives back to the buyer for luck
wergeld (1214) money paid by the killer’s family by way of compensation to free the o ender from further punishment fornale (1478) to spend one’s money before it has been earned
LILIES OF THE FIELD
Although for some fortunate people, such vulgar considerations really don’t
gure:
oofy (1896) rich
slippage (U S slang 2005) the percentage of people who get a cheque and forget to cash it set the Thames on re (U K late 18C) to make a great success in life
stalko (1802) a man who has nothing to do and no fortune to support him but who styles himself as a squire
WORD JOURNEYS robot (20C from Czech) servitude, forced labour
cattle (13C) property, wealth; then (16C) moveable property; then livestock
up the spout (U K slang b1894) from the spout (lift) used in pawnbrokers’ shops; when items were handed over in return for money they were sent ‘up the spout’ to the storeroom where they stayed until their owner could a ord to redeem them
customer (14C) a customs house o cer; then (16C) someone the customs o cer had to deal with
BULK AND FILE Crime and punishment
He that helpeth an evill man, hurteth him that is good (1597)
The line between making money by sheer hard work and from more dubious practices has always been thin: vigerage (underworld slang 1935) a loan shark’s 20 per cent weekly interest
im- am (underworld slang 1881) the various dodges by which a thief, in changing money, obtains more than he gives from tradesmen and bank-tellers
mocteroof (costermongers’ jargon 1860) to doctor damaged fruit or vegetables
striping the lot (North American slang) the painting of the parking lot at a new shopping mall with extra-wide spacing for the positioning of cars (this gives the impression of the mall attracting more customers than it really does, and when business picks up, the spaces can be repainted somewhat narrower)
quomodocunquize (1652) to make money by any means possible
MY DEAR FELLOW!
Other ways of getting booty out of people may be more extreme: gagging (c.1825) persuading a stranger that he is an old acquaintance and then borrowing money from him
bull trap (Australia 1930s) a villain who impersonates a policeman and preys on couples in lovers’ lanes, extorting money from those who should not be there
queer plungers (underworld slang 1785) crooks who threw themselves into the water and pretended to be drowning, before being taken by
accomplices to one of the Humane Society houses for the recovery of drowned persons, where they were rewarded with a guinea each for rescuing the bogus victim
jibber the kibber (Cornwall 1781) a wrecker’s tactic of xing a lantern round the neck of a horse which at night appeared like a ship’s light. The ships bearing toward it ran aground, and were plundered by the locals
NOT QUITE MY COLOUR
Even the most upright of us may not be totally straight all the time: wardrobing (U S slang) buying an item and then returning it after wearing it
bilker (1717) a person who gives a cabman less than his fare and, when remonstrated with, gives a false name and address manoeuvring the apostles (b.1811) robbing Peter to pay Paul (i.e. borrowing from one man to pay another)
oyster (underworld slang 1920) a society woman employed to wear stolen jewellery in the hope that she will receive an o er from a fence, and will, because of her social position, remain unsuspected by the police
PANHANDLER
Just because you’ve been reduced to begging, it doesn’t mean that you’re dishonest. Having said that, some bums have always known that cheating pays: dommerers (1567) men who pretended to be deaf and dumb
cleymes (b.1811) arti cial sores, made by beggars to excite charity
scaldrum dodge (mid 19C) the practice of deliberately burning the body with a mixture of acids and gunpowder to simulate scars and wounds to soften the hearts of those from whom one begs
whip-jacks (1562) vagabonds who pretended to be shipwrecked sailors aurium (16C) a wandering beggar posing as some kind of priest
CUTPURSE
Others,
tter and more eet of foot, make better boodle by being proactive:
maltooling (b.1861) the picking of pockets in omnibuses
bulk and le (1698) two pickpockets operating together (the bulk jostles the party that is to be robbed and the le steals the treasure)
reef (c.1860) to draw up a dress-pocket until a purse is within reach of the ngers
pappy (underworld slang 1910) an elderly man whose clothes and pockets are baggy (the ideal victim for a pickpocket)
SLEIGHT OF HAND
As in many another career paths, the professional pilferer, too, likes to develop his expert knowledge: feeder-prigger (late 18C) a thief specializing in silver spoons
badger (U S mid 19C) a rogue who specializes in robbing clients who are visiting a brothel efter (underworld slang 1846) a thief who robs theatre patrons during a show
tinny-hunter (late 18C) a thief who robs people whose homes are burning down, while pretending to give assistance vamper (mid 19C) a thief who deliberately starts ghts between others in order to rob them in the confusion tosher (b.1859) one who steals copper from the bottom of ships moored in the Thames
ARTFUL DODGERS
Other tricks of the trade de
nitely make a crook’s life easier and more productive:
trigging the jigger (early 19C) placing a small piece of paper ( trig) in the front door keyhole of a house that is presumed to be uninhabited; if the paper is still there a day later, the robber can believe that the house is empty and can be broken into safely
treacle-man (late 19C) a good-looking man who works as a decoy for burglars by charming the housemaid while the gang slip in unnoticed snudge (underworld slang 1665) a thief who hides himself under a bed in order to rob the house
snudge (underworld slang 1665) a thief who hides himself under a bed in order to rob the house
little snakesman (1781) a little boy who gets into a house through the sink-hole, and then opens the door for his accomplices
DOLPHINS AND TURTLES
Underworld slang, old and new, covers a whole range of dodgy activity, from the relatively harmless to the downright evil: shoulder surf (U K current slang) to use a pair of binoculars to read the PIN of people using cash dispensers
slaughter (1950s) an immediate dumping ground for recently stolen property, before it is shared out or hidden more permanently and securely turn turtle (early 19C) to ip a carriage upside-down
airmail (U S prison jargon 1950s) concrete, bricks and so on hurled down from rooftops onto patrol cars responding to a call ri ing (underworld slang 1885) plundering dead bodies in the river (especially the Thames) and turning them adrift again make one’s bones (New York slang 1969) to kill a person as a requirement for membership in a criminal gang
OLD BILL
One gang who know more about all this than most are society’s upholders of the law, who have a few tricks of their own up their sleeves: ash roll (police jargon) a wad of money which is never actually used, but is ashed ostentatiously around to convince a criminal, e.g. a drug dealer, that one wishes to make a purchase, at which point an arrest will be made
Kojak with a Kodak (U S 1970s) a policeman manning a radar speed trap
mule kick (U S slang 2005) the act of standing with one’s back to the front door and kicking the door in attitude-adjuster (U S black slang) a club; a police o cer’s stick
to get a fanner (Hobo slang) to be hit on the soles while sleeping on a park bench and moved on by the police ghetto bird (U S slang) a police helicopter
wiggle seat (U S police jargon) a special lie detector that can be tted to a chair and which will measure the bodily reactions of a suspect to various crucial questions
BAD APPLES
Upstanding members of society can only hope that their local rozzers are worthy of the power entrusted in them: mumping (U K slang 1970) the acceptance by the police of small gifts or bribes from tradespeople swim in golden grease (U K slang 17C) to receive many bribes
banana (U K street slang 1990s) a corrupt police o cer (initially of the Special Patrol Group because they were, allegedly, yellow, bent and hanging around in bunches)
shoo- y (U S slang 1877) a policeman, usually in plain clothes, whose job is to watch and report on other police o cers
accommodation collar (U S police jargon) an arrest only made to raise the o cer’s arrest record and thus improve his standing in the hierarchy
JUST DESERTS
There are some who would prefer that criminals were treated with the summary justice of yesteryear; without fa
ng around with all that
tedious business of innocent until proved guilty: alfet (c.1000) a vat of boiling water into which the accused plunged his arm in lieu of a trial
keelhaul (1626) to punish in the seamen’s way, by dragging the criminal under water on one side of the ship and up again on the other
ride the stang (U K b.1828) to be carried on a pole through the town on men’s shoulders and pelted with refuse for the amusement of a hooting crowd (a derisive punishment for a breach of decorum or morality, especially on the part of a married man)
corsned (Anglo-Saxon law c.1000) a trial by ordeal that required a suspect to eat a piece of barley bread and cheese to test his innocence (if guilty, it was believed the bread would cause convulsions and choking)
whi er (underworld slang 1859) a fellow who cries out in pain
PETTIFOGGERS
Undoubtedly the intervention of the legal profession does complicate matters, and sometimes completely unnecessarily: kilburn (police jargon) the o cial police notebook that is produced in court (rhyming slang: Kilburn Priory for diary) gunner (U S slang) a law student who always needs to volunteer an answer to show o how smart he are
ambulance-chaser (underworld slang 1897) a lawyer who attends scenes of accidents and hospitals to get business from the injured or bereaved, who are not in a position to resist
dock asthma (police and prison jargon 1950s) gasps of (usually feigned) surprise and disbelief by prisoners in the dock boot-eater (1880) a juror who would rather ‘eat his boots’ than nd a person guilty
PORRIDGE
A spell inside should be enough to make anyone think twice about reo
ending:
oubliette (Scott: Ivanhoe 1819) a dungeon whose only entrance is in the ceiling dry bath (1933) a search of a prisoner who has been stripped naked
broken arse (New Zealand) a prisoner who has sided with the authorities and thus ranked the lowest in the inmate hierarchy carpy (1940s) locked away in one’s cell at night (from Latin tag carpe diem for ‘seize the day’)
to polish the King’s iron with one’s eyebrows (underworld slang 1785) to look longingly out of prison windows Although not necessarily so: gate fever (U K slang 2007) terror at the prospect of release from prison
phoenix (underworld slang 1925) one who enters the world after long imprisonment
boomerang (U S slang) to return to prison almost immediately on nishing the last sentence
CLEAN SHIRT
Career criminals have always had to make calculations about the possible punishment they may have to endure, leading to a wide range of names for di erent prison sentences. Here’s a selection: thirteen clean shirts (late 19C) three months’ imprisonment (at the rate of one shirt a week)
magazine (U S 1920s) a six month jail sentence (the time it would take to read one if one could barely read) the clock (Australian slang 1950) twelve months’ imprisonment (from the hours on a clock face)
pontoon (U K prison jargon 1950) a twenty-one month jail sentence (from the card-game in which a score of twenty-one is the optimum hand) rouf (U K back slang * 1851) a four year sentence
taxi (U S slang 1930) between ve and fteen years’ imprisonment (from the fares in cents displayed in New York taxis) neves (U K back slang * 1901) a seven year sentence
work under the armpits (early 19C) to con ne one’s criminality to such activities that would be classed as petty larceny (bringing a maximum sentence of seven years’ transportation rather than hanging)
working above the armpits (early 19C) to commit crimes that could lead to one’s execution
WORD JOURNEYS to pay on the nail (1596) from a practice in medieval markets where instant justice was dealt to those who reneged on agreements or
cheated their customers. Eventually it was decided that accounts be settled at counters (short pillars known as nails) in the open market place and in front of witnesses. Payments were placed on these counters for everyone to see that all was correct
not enough room to swing a cat (1771) refers to the whip used on board ships for dealing out punishment (the whip started as a cat-ofthree-tails but became a cat-of-nine-tails by the end of the seventeenth century; this method of punishment continued until 1875)
nipper (16C) a thief, person who nipped or pinched; then (19C) a costermonger’s boy attendant
villain (14C from Latin via Old French) a worker on a country estate (in feudal terms the lord was the great landowner, and under him were a host of tenants called villains; the notion of wickedness and worthlessness is simply the e ect of aristocratic pride and exclusivity)
BUNTING TIME Matters of love
After your ing,
watch for the sting (1917)
The beginning of love is often physical. In hiphop male attractiveness is described as
pimp-juice and its female counterpart as milkshake,
contemporary versions of a long tradition: bobbant (Wiltshire) of a girl: forward, romping
featous (mid 14C) of a man: handsome, good looking clipsome (1816) eminently embraceable
DISCO JUDGES
W omen have long known just how critical others can be of their looks, whether they be English country folk or American teenagers: sinful-ordinary (Wiltshire) plain to the last degree in looks
bridlegged (Cheshire) a farmer’s contemptuous description of a woman as having legs not strong enough to work on the farm sphinx (U S black teen slang) a woman who is beautiful from the neck up
Medusa (U S black teen slang) a woman who is beautiful from the neck down
strobe-light honey (U S black teen slang) a woman who seems attractive in ickering light but not otherwise
ZEPPELINS
One aspect in particular often receives close attention: bathycolpian (1825) having a deep cleavage
headlamps (U K slang early 20C) female breasts: this was when large, raised car headlights were the norm (a century earlier the common expression was barges)
dead heat in a Zeppelin race (U K slang) an admiring description of large breasts fore-buttocks (Pope: The Dunciad 1727) breasts Cupid’s kettledrums (18C) breasts
SUPERSIZE ME
So how do you get your feelings across?
Do fries go with that shake ? was a phrase called out by black men in 1970s America to a passing
woman they fancied; while the object of admiration might mutter to her friend: He can put his shoes under my bed anytime … boombaloomba (Australian slang) an expression of a man’s attraction to a woman
look that needs suspenders (1940s) a very interested glance at a woman (the suspenders were needed to keep the man’s eyeballs attached to their sockets)
HUNTER DITHERERS
Not that everyone
nds it easy to be so forward:
stick-up (Wiltshire) to make the rst tentative advances towards courting dangle (late 18C) to follow a woman without actually addressing her
quirkyalone (U S slang 1999) someone who just wants the right person to come along at the right time even if that means waiting
FAINT HEART
Sometimes one just has to take the risk and get a bit proactive: tapper (1950s) a boy who repeatedly pestered a girl for a date
wingwoman (U S slang from the lm Top Gun 1986) a professional female matchmaker who escorts a man to a bar or club, engages in light conversation to draw in other females, and then withdraws
strike breaker (1920s) a young woman who was ready to date her friend’s beau when a couple’s romance was coming to an end
rabbit’s-kiss (Anglo-Manx) a penalty in the game of ‘forfeits’ in which a man and woman have each to nibble the same piece of straw until their lips meet
DELIGHTFUL
Until 1958 debutantes and their mothers exchanged information about the respectable young men to whom they were introduced by using a special code: FU Financially U nsound MTF Must Touch Flesh
MSC Makes Skin Crawl NSIT Not Safe In Taxis
VVSITPQ Very, Very Safe In Taxis, Probably Queer
THE WILDER SHORES OF LOVE
As homosexuality was illegal in the U K until 1967, the secret language of Polari was used to disguise gay subculture from the disapproving gaze of the law. It was originally used by circus and fairground performers who were equally keen to communicate with each other without their
audience understanding. Drawn from Italian, Yiddish, Cockney rhyming slang and full of backwards words (such as ecaf for face) Polari provided various terms that we all use today, such as drag, camp and bimbo, as well as some less well-known but equally colourful expressions: omi-polone a gay man (literally man-woman; a lesbian was polone-omi, a woman-man) alamo hot for him
basket the bulge of male genitals through trousers na
awful, dull, bad (said to stand for Not Available For F***ing)
CHEAP DATE
W hatever your proclivities, there are numerous reasons why one should beware of giving too much too soon:
couch cootie (U S 1920s) a poor or miserly man who prefers to court a woman in her own house than take her out on the town at-wheeler (U S college slang 1920s) a young man whose idea of entertaining a girl is to take her for a walk
cream-pot love (b.1811) professed by insincere young men to dairymaids, to get cream and other goods from them
GETTING DOWN TO IT
In the less permissive 1950s, a
Nottingham goodnight was the phrase used of a courting couple who had got back from their date, and then
slammed the door and said ‘goodnight’ loudly before retiring quietly to the sofa, hoping they would not be disturbed for some time … suaviation (1656) a love kiss
cow-kissing (U S slang mid 19C) kissing with much movement of the tongues and lips lallygagger (1920s) a courting male who liked to kiss his sweetheart in hallways
bundling (b.1811) a man and a woman sleeping in the same bed, he with his clothes on, and she with her petticoat on
COUNTRY LOVING
But if the weather’s good, why bother to go home at all? sproag (Scotland late 16C) to run among the haystacks after the girls at night to give a girl a green gown (late 16C) to tumble her onto the grass
bunting time (1699) when the grass is high enough to hide young men and maids courting boondock (Tennessee campus slang b.1950) to neck, pet or make love in an automobile
gulch (Newfoundland 1895) to frequent a sheltered hollow to engage in sexual intimacy
SEALED WITH A LOVING KISS – LOVE LETTER ACRONYMS
During the Second World War all mail was opened and read by the o
cial Censor. So acronyms of places written on the backs of
envelopes were used to convey secret messages of love (and lust) between servicemen and their wives or girlfriends: HOLLAND Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
MEXICO CITY May Every Kiss I Can O er Carry Itself To You MALAYA My Ardent Lips Await Your Arrival CHINA Come Home I Need A ection
NORWICH (K)nickers O Ready When I Come Home BU RMA Be U ndressed Ready My Angel EGYPT Eager to Grab Your Pretty Tits SIAM Sexual Intercourse At Midnight
ALL LOVED UP
L imerence (U S Connecticut 1977) is the word for that initial exhilarating rush of falling in love, the state of ‘being in love’. During that time the besotted of either sex should be careful not to de out , the American slang for women who immediately lose contact with their female friends after acquiring a steady boyfriend. And this is just one of the pitfalls of sudden love: fribbler (1712) one who professes rapture for a woman, but dreads her consent
batmobiling (U S slang) putting up protective emotional shields just as a relationship enters an intimate, vulnerable stage (with reference to the car’s retracting armour)
THEY FLEE FROM ME
Once things start to go wrong, the slide can be all too rapid … to wear the willow (late 16C) to have been abandoned by one’s lover … so do try and avoid being cynical … sorbet sex (U S slang popularized by Sex and the City) a casual sexual relationship undertaken in the period between two more serious relationships
pull a train (U S slang 1965) sexual intercourse with a succession of partners (like a string of boxcars, they have to be coupled and uncoupled) … or sentimental … desiderium (Swift: letter to Pope 1715) a yearning for a thing one once had but has lost anacampserote (1611) a herb that can bring back departed love
DROIT DE SEIGNEUR
Take heart from the fact that anything goes; and the history of love tells of some decidedly odd arrangements: gugusse (early 1880s) an e eminate youth who frequents the private company of priests panmixis (1889) a population in which random mating takes place
Shunamitism (b.1901) the practice of an old man sleeping with, but not necessarily having sex with, a young woman to preserve his youth (the rationale was that the heat of the young woman would transfer to the old man and revitalize him, based on the Biblical story of King David and Abishag)
HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND ME
Just beware the types for whom lovemaking has become habitual (or even professional): mud-honey (Tennyson: Maud 1855) the dirty pleasures of men about town
cougar (Canadian slang 2005) an older woman on the prowl, preferably for a younger man lovertine (1603) someone addicted to sex
play checkers (U S gay jargon 1960s) to move from seat to seat in a cinema in search of a receptive sex partner
twopenny upright (U K slang 1958) the charge made by a prostitute for an act of sexual intercourse standing up out of doors
WORD JOURNEYS
boudoir (French 18C) a place to sulk or pout in
friend (Old English) a lover; then (12C) a relative or kinsman
buxom (12C) obedient, compliant; then (16C) plump and comely
harem (17C from Turkish via Arabic) forbidden to others; then sacred to the women and their apartments
WITTOLS AND BEER BABIES Marriage and family life
Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys,
and quadruples our expenses (1902–4)
However giddy and capricious at
rst, it’s certainly true that Love moves, inexorably, towards the recognized and the formalized:
wooer-bab (Burns: Halloween 1785) a garter tied below the knee of a young man as a sign that he was about to make an o er of marriage subarrhation (Swinburne: Spousals 1686) a betrothal accomplished by the man’s showering presents on his incipient bride acquaintance (Shropshire) a ancé/e
maiden-rent (17C) a fee paid by every tenant in the Welsh manor of Builth at their marriage (given to the lord for his omitting the ancient custom of marcheta, whereby he spent the rst night with his tenant’s new wife)
gluepot (b.1811) a parson (from joining men and women together in matrimony)
IN THE PAPERS
In the U K, people of a certain class have traditionally advertised marriage, just as they do births and deaths, with an announcement in their newspaper of choice. This trio de ning a person’s life is colloquially known as hatched, matched and dispatched (with some believing that these really are the only times your name should appear in the papers). In Australia, similar announcements are known as yells, bells and knells . But though established through long custom, marriage has come in many varied and interesting forms … paranymph (1660) the best man or bridesmaid at a wedding
levirate (1725) the custom requiring a man to marry his brother’s widow
punalua (1889) a group marriage in which wives’ sisters and husbands’ brothers were considered spouses adelphogamy (1926) a form of marriage in which brothers share a wife or wives jockum-gagger (1797) a man living on the prostitution of his wife
bitch’s blind (U S slang) a wife who acts as a cover for a homosexual male opsigamy (1824) marrying late in life
VIRAGO
Maritality (1812) is a charming word, meaning ‘the excessive a
ection a wife feels for her husband’, while levament (1623) describes one of the
best aspects of a good marriage, ‘the comfort a man has from his wife’. But in general the words and phrases our language has thrown up speak of more demanding realities, with wives all too often in the frame: loudspeaker (underworld slang 1933) a wife
alarm clock (U S slang 1920s) a nagging woman
tenant at will (late 18C) one whose wife arrives at the alehouse to make him come home ten commandments (mid 15C) the ten ngers and thumbs especially of a wife curtain-lecture (b.1811) a reproof given by a wife to her husband in bed
cainsham smoke (1694) the tears of a man who is beaten by his wife (deriving from a lost story relating to Keynsham, near Bristol)
AFTERPLAY
L ove and marriage, the song goes, go together ‘like horse and carriage’. So why doesn’t
delity always t so easily into the equation?
wittol (15C) a man who is aware of his wife’s unfaithfulness but doesn’t mind or acquiesces
court of assistants (late 18C) the young men with whom young wives, unhappy in their marriages to older men, are likely to seek solace
to pick a needle without an eye (West Indian) of a young woman, to give oneself in marriage to a man whom one knows will be of no use as a sexual partner
gandermooner (1617) a husband who strays each month, during the time of the month when his wife is ‘unavailable’ stumble at the truckle-bed (mid 17C) to ‘mistake’ the maid’s bed for one’s wife’s
UP THE DUFF
The desire to expand the family is all too natural; though the actual circumstances of conception may vary considerably: beer babies (Sussex) babies sired when the man was drunk
Band-Aid baby (U K slang) a child conceived to strengthen a faltering relationship
basting (U K slang 2007) being with a gay male friend who o ers to give the baby a woman longs for sooterkin (1658) an imaginary kind of birth attributed to Dutch women from sitting over their stoves
THE STORK DESCENDS
In parts of America they say you have
swallowed a watermelon seed when you become pregnant. In Britain, children were once told that the
new baby boy in the family had been found under the gooseberry bush , while the girl was found in the parsley bed : omphalomancy (1652) divination by counting the knots in the umbilical cord of her rst born to predict the number of children a mother will have
nom de womb (U S slang 2005) a name used by an expectant parent to refer to their unborn child infanticipate (U S 1934) to be expecting a child
quob (b.1828) to move as the embryo does in the womb; as the heart does when throbbing pigeon pair (Wiltshire dialect) a boy and a girl (when a mother has only two children)
PRIVATE VIEWS
As soon as Baby appears, of course, there is much excitement. Relatives and friends crowd round to check out the new arrival, and any gossip about the timing of the pregnancy melts away: barley-child (Shropshire) a child born in wedlock, but which makes its advent within six months of marriage (alluding to the time which elapses between barley sowing and barley harvest)
jonkin (Yorkshire) a tea-party given to celebrate a birth of a child
crying-cheese (Scotland) a ritual where cheese was given to neighbours and visitors when a child was born
FIRST STEPS
Then there is the long, slow process of bringing up the little darling; beset with many dangers, but not, fortunately, as many as in the past … vagitus (Latin 17C) a new-born child’s cry
marriage music (late 17C) the crying of children
blow-blow (Jamaican English 1955) babbling baby-talk
chrisom (c.1200) a child that dies within a month of its birth (so called from the chrisom-cloth, anointed with holy unguent, which the children wore until they were christened)
quiddle (Midlands) to suck a thumb
gangrel (1768) a child just beginning to walk
dade (Shropshire) to lead children when learning to walk
CHIPS OFF THE OLD BLOCK
It’s an exhausting time, but hopefully rewarding, whatever the extra commitments: antipelargy (1656) the love of children for their parents
philostorgy (1623) natural a ection, such as that between parents and children butter-print (Tudor–Stuart) a child bearing the stamp of its parents’ likeness
stand pad (Cockney) to beg in crowded streets with a written statement round one’s neck, such as ‘wife and ve kids to support’
sandwich generation (Canadian slang) those caring for young children and elderly parents at the same time (usually ‘baby boomers’ in their 40s or 50s)
POPPING OFF
Sadly, not all men seem able to stay the course: zoo daddy (U S slang) a divorced father who rarely sees his child or children (he takes his kids to the zoo when exercising his visiting rights) baby fathers (Jamaican English 1932) males who abandon their partner and o spring
goose father (U S slang 2005) a father who lives alone having sent his spouse and children to a foreign country to learn English or do some other form of advanced study
jacket (Jamaican English 2007) a man tested and proven not to be the father of the children said to be his
EARLY PROMISE
And what a course it can prove to be … glaikut (Aberdeenshire) of a child too fond of its mother and refusing to be parted from her at any time chippie-burdie (Scotland) a promise made to a child to pacify them killcrop (1652) a child who is perpetually hungry
vuddle (Hampshire and Wiltshire) to spoil a child by injudicious petting ankle-sucker (Worcestershire) a child or person dependent on others
COLTISH ot necessarily made any easier as the o spring grow older … dandiprat (1583) an urchin
daddle (Su olk) to walk like a young child trying to copy its father
liggle (East Anglian) to carry something too heavy to be carried easily (e.g. of a child with a puppy) airling (1611) a person who is both young and thoughtless
… though getting them outside in the fresh air is always a good plan … grush (Hiberno-English) of children, to scramble for coins and other small gifts thrown at them
duck’s dive (Newfoundland) a boy’s pastime of throwing a stone into the water without making a splash poppinoddles (Cumberland 1885) a boyish term for a somersault triltigo (Derbyshire) a word used to start boys o in a race
treer (c.1850) a boy who avoids organized sports, but plays a private game with one or two friends (by the trees at the side of the ground)
ABC
School can take some of the heat o
the parents …
abecedary (1440) a table or book containing the alphabet, a primer minerval (1603) a gift given in gratitude by a pupil to a teacher
brosier (Eton College c.1830) a boy with no more pocket money
nix! (1860) a warning especially among schoolboys and workmen of somebody’s approach
MANNERS MAKYTH MAN
At Winchester College, as elsewhere in times gone by, discipline was strictly maintained by corporal punishment. If it wasn’t from the authorities, you could count on the bullies for trouble: tin gloves (c.1840) a criss-cross of blisters methodically made by a bully on the back of a victim’s hand bibler (c.1830) six cuts on the back
tund (1831) to og a boy across the shoulders with a ground-ash
rabbiter (1831) a blow on the back of their neck with the edge of the open palm to sport eyesight (1920) to deliver all the blows on the same spot in beating
FIGHTING YOUR BATTELS
Similar slang was adopted at many universities. At Oxford, your
battels (Tudor–Stuart) were (and still are) your college bills; if you didn’t get to
an exam you ploughed (1853) it; and academic nudity (b.1909) was appearing in public without a cap or gown. At Cambridge, in Victorian
times, a brute (19C) was one who had not matriculated and a sophister (1574) was an undergraduate in his second or third year. In both places
times, a brute (19C) was one who had not matriculated and a sophister (1574) was an undergraduate in his second or third year. In both places a whi er (c.1785) was one who examined candidates for degrees, while at Dublin a sizar (1588) was one who got a college allowance. At
Aberdeen, from the eighteenth century on, you were a bajan in your rst year , a semi in your second , a tertian in your third, and a magistrand (1721) if staying for a fourth year to sit an MA.
JUST MISSED A GEOFF
Much more recently, a new slang has grown up to describe the various kinds of degrees that one may hope to get. The much-prized First has been known as a Geo
(Hurst), a Damien (Hirst) or a Patty (Hearst), a raging (thirst) or a James (the First). A 2:1 is known as an Attila (the
Hun) or a Made-In (Taiwan). A 2:2 is known as a Desmond (Tutu) and a Third as a Douglas (Hurd), a Thora (Hird), or even a Gentleman’s Degree, though who would admit to having one of those these days?
RETURN TO THE COOP
Education over, for more than a few the appeal of moving back home can be strong, especially in these days of high rents and generous parental expectations: twixters (U S slang) fully grown men and women who still live with their parents
ant hill family (U K slang) the trend whereby children move back in with their parents so that all can work together towards group goals
nancial
LIFE IS SHORT
L ife races on, and all too soon comes that point when some feel the need to start lying about their age … agerasia (1706) looking younger than one really is
paracme (1656) the point at which one’s prime is past
menoporsche (U K slang) the phenomenon of middle-aged men attempting to recapture their lost youth by buying an expensive sports car … a pointless activity, for your years will always catch up with you: prosopagnosia (1950) an inability to recognize familiar faces
sew the button on (U K slang b.1898) to have to jot down at once what you wish to remember
astereognosis (1900) the loss of the ability to recognize the shapes and spatial relationships of objects
WORD JOURNEYS debonair (13C from Old French: de bonne aire) of good disposition or family puny (16C from Old French: puis né) born later, a junior; then inexperienced
husband (Old English) master of a house; then (13C) husbandman: tiller of the soil (an extension of his duties); then (15C) housekeeper or steward; then (16C) a man who managed a airs generally
OYSTER PARTS
OYSTER PARTS Culture
Literature should be my sta but not my crutch
(Scott: Lockhart’s Life 1830)
here’s little doubt that as a culture we have a passion for a good story well told: anecdotard (1894) an old man given to telling stories
ackamarackus (U S slang 1934) a specious, characteristically involved tale that seeks to convince by blu
SHAZAM (1940) Solomon’s wisdom, Hercules’ strength, Atlas’s stamina, Zeus’s power, Achilles’ courage and Mercury’s speed (an acronymic magic word like ‘abracadabra’ used to introduce an extraordinary story)
shark-jump (U S media jargon 1997) instances that signal the imminent decline of a TV series by introducing plot twists inconsistent with the previous plot
bridges, bridges! (c.1880) a cry to arrest a long-winded story
THE BEST WORDS IN THE BEST ORDER
Poetry too seems to be in the blood, and judging by the activity in pubs around the nation, in no danger of declining: genethliacon (1589) a poem written for someone’s birthday
amphigory (1809) a poem that seems profound but is nonsense
randle (b.1811) a set of nonsensical verses, repeated in Ireland by schoolboys and young people, who have been guilty of breaking wind backwards before their companions
rhapsodomancy (1727) fortunetelling by picking a passage of poetry at random
musophobist (Swinburne 1880) a person who regards poetry with suspicious dislike
PENMEN
Scribblers still throng a land where people have long been under the illusion that there is something glamorous about the business of writing: purlicue (1808) a dash or ourish at the end of a written word
wegotism (1797) the excessive use of ‘we’ in writing (particularly in newspaper editorials)
wegotism (1797) the excessive use of ‘we’ in writing (particularly in newspaper editorials) parisology (1846) the use of ambiguous language or evasive writing macaronic (1638) mixing words from di erent languages
Patavinity (1607) the use of local slang or expressions when writing
cloak-father (c.1639) a pretended author whose name is put forth to conceal the real author
CRITICAL MASS
The best advice for authors is Somerset Maugham’s: ‘Don’t read your reviews, dear boy. Measure them’ … Zoilist (1594) a critic, especially one who is unduly severe or who takes joy in fault nding (after the fourth-century Greek critic) histriomastix (Tudor–Stuart) a severe critic of playwrights squabash (1818) to crush with criticism
praise sandwich (U S slang Houston 1987) criticism prefaced by and followed by compliments
BOOKS DO FURNISH A ROOM here remains one important group that no one in the business can a ord to take for granted – the dear old readers: enchiridion (Late Latin 1541) a book carried in the hand for reference
thumbscall (Shropshire) a piece of paper or card inserted in a book to mark a page bibliotaph (1824) a person keeping his or her books secret or locked up
grille-peerer (1940s) one of a group of clergymen who used to haunt the stacks of the London Library to look up the skirts of women browsing above
to have a face-ticket (British Museum Reading Room 1909) to be so well known to the janitors that one is not asked to present one’s ticket
ARE YOU WORKING?
Sitting in a corner with a mere book has never been enough for another creative group who
ourish in our supposedly inhibited culture:
oyster part an actor who appears and speaks or acts only once (like an oyster he opens but once) nap-nix (c.1860) an amateur playing minor parts for experience crawk (1930s) a performer acting as an animal imitator
cabotinage (1894) behaviour typical of a second-rate actor or strolling player, implying a tendency to play to the gallery or overact come back Tuesday pseudo-friendly advice from theatrical directors and management to hopefuls really meaning ‘go away!’ ag-fallen (16C) unemployed (used rst of actors: the playhouse ag was lowered where there was no performance)
AGAIN FROM THE TOP
Many are the tricks of the trade to be learnt in this most demanding of callings; and theatre has developed a
ne jargon to describe it:
swallow the cackle to learn a part
ping to speak one’s lines softly, with no special emphasis pong to speak in blank verse after forgetting one’s lines
stagger the rst rehearsal without a script in one’s hands
wing to fasten one’s script to one of the wing ats or some part of the scenery when one has failed to learn it properly and thus needs an occasional reference during the performance
Mummerset (J. B. Priestley: Festival at Farbridge 1951) fake peasant accents adopted by actors to denote a supposed rural origin (from a mix of Somerset and mummer)
SMOKE AND MIRRORS
Normal costume apart, a range of cunning accessories assist the thespian’s art: heart the padding out of their tights by acrobats, actors etc. to prevent an otherwise painful fall wafters (Geordie) swords made with blunt edges for performers
bronteon (Ancient Greek 1849) a device used in theatre or movies to create thunder
scruto (1853) a spring trap-door, ush with the oor of a stage, for a ghost to rise through, for sudden falls and other e ects
pepper’s ghost a trick used to create a ‘ghost’ on stage by using an inclined sheet of plate glass onto which an actor can be projected as if ‘walking through air’
bird’s nest crepe wool used to construct false beards
LIGHTS UP
But once you’re out there, darling, all you can do is stick to the script and hope for the best: ventilator a play so appallingly bad that the audience leaves well before the nal curtain, and their seats are lled only with fresh air exsibilation (1640) the collective hisses of a disapproving audience
handcu ed an actor’s description of an audience who will not applaud sti
(1930s) a terrible joke, rewarded only by silence
soso (1930s) a joke rewarded by a smile, but not a laugh gravy easy laughs from a friendly audience
crack the monica (music hall jargon c.1860) to ring the bell to summon a performer to reappear
BUMS ON SEATS
Though you may be deep into your role, you’ll still have one eye on the view beyond the footlights: plush family empty seats in the auditorium (i.e. the plush-covered seats that can be seen from the stage) paper the house to give away free theatre tickets in order to ll up an undersubscribed performance
whiskey seats seats on the aisle (popular both with critics, who need to get out before the rush and phone in their reviews, and those who like to escape to the bar when the action palls)
baskets are in a full house (from the one-time practice of leaving the prop baskets as security against the income of a touring company: if the house didn’t guarantee the payment of the theatre’s rent, the props were theoretically forfeit)
MAGIC CIRCLE
But let’s please never forget that the stage is not simply a venue for actors. Other
ne artists o er equally enjoyable entertainment:
burn (conjuring jargon) staring at the magician’s hands without averting your gaze, no matter what misdirection is thrown ri e (conjuring jargon) to let cards come out of the hand, creating a noise
grimoire (French 1849) a magician’s manual of black magic for invoking demons cultrivorous (1846) actual or illusory knife-swallowing drollic (1743) pertaining to a puppet show
swazzle (1942) a mouthpiece used by a puppeteer to make the squeaking voice of Mr Punch
MORE WHIFFLE
Other performers don’t even need a stage. From break to Morris dance, a pavement or ga
a dancer’s belt, the protection under his tights for his genitals
oor is more than enough:
ga
a dancer’s belt, the protection under his tights for his genitals
garlic (17C) a lively jig
applejack (1980s) a basic move to challenge another breakdancer to a competition, squatting down, falling back onto your hands, and kicking one leg high in the air, then springing back onto both legs
whi er the man with the whip in Morris dancing
CROONERS
Singers, too, can operate anywhere: griddle (b.1851) to sing in the streets
woodshedding (1976) spontaneous barbershop singing (originally meaning a place to rehearse music privately) barcarole (French 1779) a gondolier’s song
rumbelow (1315) a meaningless song or refrain sung by sailors while rowing a boat (e.g. Heave Ho or Hey-Ho) aubade (Franco-Provençal 1678) a song at sunrise
scolion (Ancient Greek 1603) a song sung in turn by the guests at a banquet
ROCK FOLLIES
Though why be a busker when you could be a star? Or at least get as near to one as possible … guerrilla gig a performance by a band in an unlikely venue, where they play until they are evicted
mosh to engage in uninhibited, frenzied activities with others near the stage at a rock concert ( mosh pit the place near the stage at a rock concert where moshing occurs)
wollyhumper a bouncer employed by a rock band to make sure no fans manage to climb on stage while they play or, if they have climbed up, to throw them down again
résumé on a rope a backstage pass
woodpecker people who nod their heads to the music being played while paying no attention
GOGGLE BOX
There is one contemporary venue where almost all performers are happy to be seen; and behind the scenes in TV land, too, a whole rich lingo has grown up: toss in television news, an onscreen handover from one host to another
golden rolodex the small handful of experts who are always quoted in news stories and asked to be guests on discussion shows bambi someone who freezes in front of the camera (like a deer caught in headlights)
clambake the possibility of two or three commentators all talking over each other and thus confusing listeners
gold shing one politician talking inaudibly in an interview (you can see his lips move but only hear the reporter’s words)
WORD JOURNEYS explode (16C from Latin) to reject; then (17C) to drive out by clapping, to hiss o the stage tragedy (16C from Ancient Greek) a goat song
anecdote (from Ancient Greek) unpublished things; then (17C) secret history
charm (from Latin carmen) a song; then (13C) an incantation, the singing or reciting of a verse that was held to have magic power enthusiasm (from Ancient Greek) divinely inspired; then (17C) possession by a god, poetic frenzy; misguided religious emotion
DIMBOX AND QUOCKERWODGER Military and political concerns
Soldiers in peace are like chimneys in summer (1598)
W e all claim to love a peaceful time, but somehow squabbles keep breaking out: breed-bate (1593) someone looking for an argument
conspue (1890) to spit on someone or something with contempt
cobble-nobble (Shropshire) to rap on the head with the knuckles
donnybrook (1852) a street brawl (named after the famously violent annual Fair in Dublin) recumbentibus (b.1546) a knock-down blow either verbal or physical sockdolager (1830) a decisive blow or answer that settles a dispute
SHADOW DANCING
Fights come in all shapes and sizes: batrachomyomachy (b.1828) a silly and tri ing altercation (literally, a battle between frogs and mice) sciamachy (1623) ghting with a shadow or with an imaginary enemy holmgang (1847) a duel to the death fought on an island
ro-sham-bo (U S slang 1998) a competition employed to determine the ownership of an object when in dispute (the two parties kick each other in the groin until one falls to the ground: the person left standing wins)
hieromachy (1574) a con ict of ecclesiastics, a ght between persons of the cloth … and brave the person who tries to come between the opposing parties: dimbox (Scotland) the ‘smoother-over’ of disputes, an expert at getting others to make up redder’s lick (Scott:The Abbot 1820) the blow one receives in trying to part combatants autoclaps (Jamaican English 1970s) trouble that leads to more trouble
GOING REGIMENTAL
W hen it comes to the bigger disagreements between nations, we still, it seems, need armies to protect us – the perfect breeding ground for specialized lingo and tradition: boots (b.1811) the youngest o cer in a regimental mess, whose duty it is to skink (b.1811) to stir the re, snu any candles and ring the bell militaster (1640) a soldier without military skill or knowledge egg (early 20C) an inexperienced airman, not yet ‘hatched’
knapsack descent (late 19C) a soldier or soldiers in every generation of a family
alvarado (Tudor–Stuart) the rousing of soldiers at dawn by beating the drum or the ring of a gun
yomp (1982) to march with heavy equipment over di cult terrain; a forced military march in full kit
YELLOW-BELLY
Not that everyone is equally eager to join the battle: murcous (1684) of one who cuts o his thumb to escape military service
troppo (Australian slang) nervously a ected by the privations of war service in the Tropics ear- ip (Service slang) a very cursory salute
chamade (French 1684) the drum beat or trumpet blast which announces a surrender
poodle-faker (Service slang 1902) an o cer always ready to take part in the social side of military life
WEIGHING ANCHOR
The navy, too, has developed some colourful jargon over the years: anchor-faced someone, usually an o cer, who lives and breathes the Royal Navy even when retired
mushroom troop a complaining description used by those who feel that they are not being told enough about what is happening (i.e. fed on dirt and kept in the dark)
Dockyard Olympics the old process of re tting a warship whereby all the tradesmen lined up at the start of the day and then raced o to various places within the ship
upstairs (submariner’s jargon) the surface of the sea swallow the anchor to leave the navy
MAGNIFICENT MEN
Our newest military service was at
rst rather looked down on by the other two. But it didn’t take long to prove its usefulness:
spike-bozzle (1915) to destroy (an enemy plane)
bomb et (New Zealand 1940) a propaganda lea et dropped from an aeroplane brolly-hop (b.1932) a parachute jump
vrille (French 1918) an aerobatic spinning manoeuvre (twisting, like the tendril of a vine) Whatever the di culties … socked in (aerospace jargon) an air eld shut for ying because of poor visibility penguin (Air Force jargon 1915) an aeroplane unable to leave the ground
dangle the Dunlops (Royal Navy jargon) to lower an aircraft’s undercarriage prior to landing or the dangers … cigarette roll (U S slang 1962) a parachute jump in which the parachute fails to open angry palm tree (Royal Navy jargon) a burning and turning helicopter
buy the farm (U S Service slang 1955) to crash an aircraft, usually fatally (referring to government compensation paid to a farmer when an
buy the farm (U S Service slang 1955) to crash an aircraft, usually fatally (referring to government compensation paid to a farmer when an aircraft crashes on his farm)
at least it had its compensations: modoc(k) (U S slang 1936) a man who becomes a pilot for the sake of the glamorous image it conveys
SHOCK AND AWE
As the airforce role becomes ever more important, and the machines more powerful and hi-tech, the lingo just keeps on coming: green air (U S slang) ying with night-vision goggles
play pussy (RAF jargon) to y into cloud cover in order to avoid being discovered by hostile aircraft
glass ball environment (U S intelligence jargon 2004) of the weather in Iraq being often conducive to collecting images from above
PANCAKE! – SERVICES’ WATCHWORDS popeye! (air intercept code) I am in cloud; I have reduced visibility
state tiger! (air intercept code) ‘I have su cient fuel to complete my mission as assigned’ Geronimo! (1940s) the favoured shout of paratroopers as they leapt from airplanes Pancake! (Service slang) the order given in the air to land lumpy chicken! (U S military use) loud and clear
SPOOKS
Our fourth service lurks in the shadows, complete with its own covert terms of communication: cut-out someone acting as a middle-man in espionage
starburst losing a tail by having several similar cars suddenly drive o in di erent directions, making it hard to know which to follow swallow a woman employed by the Soviet intelligence service to seduce men for the purposes of espionage
lion tamer in a blackmail operation, a strong-arm man who makes sure that the target, once told that he is being blackmailed, does not make an embarrassing and potentially destructive fuss which could thus ruin the operation
ill arrested on suspicion for questioning
demote maximally to kill one of your associates (the victim’s career as a spy certainly can fall no lower)
POLITICOS
W e can only hope that all these
ne operatives are given wise and honourable direction by that class of men and women we choose to run
things for us: tyrekicker (New Zealand 1986) a politician who discusses and debates but takes no action (from car sales where a person examines a car at length but does not buy it)
snollygoster (1846) a burgeoning politician (especially a shrewd or calculating one) with no platform, principles or party preference dog-whistle politics (Australian slang 2005) to present your message so that only your supporters hear it properly
quockerwodger (mid 19C) a pseudo-politician; a politician acting in accordance with the instructions of an in uential third party, rather than properly representing their constituents (a quockerwodger was a wooden toy gure which, when pulled by a string, jerked its limbs about)
moss-back (late 19C) a right-winger (as they move so slowly that moss could grow on their back)
doughnutting (U K slang 2005) a carefully created seating plan which places an ideal group of members of Parliament (women, photogenic, ethnic minority etc.) around a leader for the ideal television shot
mugwump (New York 1884) one who holds more or less aloof from party politics, professing disinterested and superior views girouettism (1825) frequently altering one’s opinions or principles to follow trends
TWO CHEERS FOR DEMOCRACY
W e live, after all, in the
nest political system yet devised by man:
pot-waller (Somerset) one whose right to vote for a member of Parliament is based on his having a replace on which to boil his own pot usher (U S slang 2008) a volunteer who rounds up non-voters on Election Day
astrotur ng (U S slang) a PR tactic in which hired acolytes are used to o er ostensibly enthusiastic and spontaneous grassroots support for a politician or business
barbecue stopper (Australian slang 2002) an issue of major public importance, which will excite the interest of voters
WORD JOURNEYS opportune (15C from Latin via Old French) (of wind) driving towards the harbour; seasonable bounce (13C) to beat, thump; then (16C) a loud, exploding noise borough (Old English) a fortress
the devil to pay (1783) from the time of old sailing ships when the devil was a long seam beside the keel of a ship which was sealed
with tar (if there was no hot pitch ready the tide would turn before the work could be done and the ship would be out of commission longer)
SCURRYFUNGE Domestic life
A lyttle house well fylled,
a lytle ground well tylled and a little wife well wylled is best (1545)
Pundits talk of the global village, but the world is still a huge and deeply varied place, o
ering any number of environments for people to settle
in: Periscii (1625) the inhabitants of the polar circles, so called because in summer their shadows form an oval
Ascians (1635) inhabitants of the Tropics, who twice a year have the sun directly overhead at noon (hence ‘without shadows’) antiscian (1842) a person who lives on the opposite side of the Equator epirot (1660) a person who lives inland
paralian (1664) a person who lives near the sea
owd standards (Lincolnshire) old folk who have lived in a village all their lives carrot cruncher (U K slang) a person from the country, a rural dweller
BRIGHT LIGHTS
Countryside, town or something in between, take your pick: agroville (1960) a community, a village stronghold (relating to South Vietnam)
tenderloin district (1887) the area of a city devoted to pleasure and entertainment, typically containing restaurants, theatres, gambling houses and brothels
huburb (U S slang) its own little city within another city
HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER
L ocal features may add to or subtract from the desirability of one’s residence: hippo’s tooth (U S slang) a cement bollard
hippo’s tooth (U S slang) a cement bollard
witches’ knickers (Irish slang) shopping bags caught in trees, apping in the wind urbeach (U S slang) an urban beach generally built along a riverbank
generica (U S slang) features of the American landscape (strip malls, motel chains, prefab housing) that are exactly the same no matter where one is
packman’s puzzle (Wales) a street or housing estate where the house numbers are allocated in a complicated fashion which causes problems to visitors, tradesmen etc.
SOILED BY ASSOCIATION
If you stay too long in one place you might saddle your children with a nickname they never asked for: beanbelly (17C) a native of Leicestershire (a major producer of beans)
malt-horse (17C) a native of Bedford (from the high-quality malt extracted from Bedfordshire barley)
yellow belly (18C) a native of Lincolnshire (especially of the southern or fenland part where the yellow-stomached frog abounds)
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR
It’s generally wisest to try and meet the neighbours before you actually move in; though the horrid truth is that the people next door can change at any time: baching (New Zealand 1936) living usually apart from a family and without domestic help, ‘doing for oneself’ (especially of a male)
scurryfunge (coastal American 1975) a hasty tidying of the house between the time you see a neighbour and the time she knocks on the door exhibition meal (Hobo slang) a handout eaten on the doorstep: the madam wants the neighbours to witness her generosity ying pasty (c.1790) excrement wrapped in paper that is thrown over a neighbour’s wall
to have the key of the street (b.1881) of a person who has no house to go to at night, or is shut out from his own
HOUSEPROUD
Once you’ve settled in, though, you’re free to make what you like of the rooms … piggery (U K college slang early 20C) a room in which one does just as one wishes and which is rarely cleaned chambradeese (Scotland) the best bedroom
ruelle (Tudor–Stuart) the space in a bedroom between the bed and the wall
but and ben (Geordie) outside and inside (refers to a two-roomed house with an outer and inner room) though you’re all too likely to become swamped in the details of domesticity: isk (Gloucestershire) a brush to remove cobwebs
izels (Lincolnshire) particles of soot oating about in a room, indicating that the chimney needs to be swept
beggar’s velvet (1847) downy particles which accumulate under furniture from the negligence of housemaids
winter-hedge (Yorkshire 18C) a clothes-horse (from the way a full clothes-horse ‘hedged o ’ a portion of a room: summer washing was dried out of doors)
wemble (Lincolnshire) to invert a basin or saucepan on a shelf so that dust does not settle on the inside poss (Shropshire) to splash up and down in the water, as washerwomen do when rinsing their clothes just make sure you don’t take it so far that that you upset your cohabitants … spannel (Sussex) to make dirty foot marks on a clean oor heel (Gloucestershire) to upset a bucket
spang (Lincolnshire) to shut a door by icking the handle sharply so that it slams without being held
HOUSEWARMING
W ith the place spick and span, perhaps it’s time to throw that party: tin-kettling (New Zealand 1874) a house-warming custom whereby a newly wed couple were welcomed by friends and neighbours circling the marriage home banging on kerosene tins until provided with refreshments
cuddle puddle (New York slang 2002) a heap of exhausted ravers bu -ball (1880) a party where everyone dances naked
THE THREE NIGHT RULE
A well-known proverb says that
sh and guests go o after three nights, so if you ask people to stay for longer, make sure you have some way
of getting rid of them if need be: thwertnick (Old English law) entertaining a sheri for three nights
agenhina (Saxon law) a guest at an inn who, after having stayed for three nights, was considered one of the family sit eggs (U S black slang 1970s) to overstay one’s welcome (from the image of a hen awaiting her chicks)
BATHTIME
Because, in the end, what could be nicer than closing the front door to all outsiders and taking the relaxing ablution of your choice: o ald (Yorkshire) tired and dirty, in need of a bath
muck-rawk (Yorkshire) a dirty line (e.g. on neck) showing the limit of where it has been washed cowboy (U S slang) a quick bath using little water (since cowboys bathed sparingly) psychrolutist (1872) one who bathes in the open air daily throughout the winter
BEDDY-BYES
Before sinking into a well-deserved rest, wherever in the house the fancy takes you: nid-nod (1787) to nod o
counting rivets (Royal Navy jargon) going to sleep: it refers to lying down and looking at the rivets above the bunk hypnopompic (1901) the fuzzy state between being awake and asleep
to sleep in puppy’s parlour (Newfoundland 1771) to sleep on the oor in one’s clothes
bodkin (1638) a person wedged in between two others when there is proper room for two only (a bodkin was a small sharp dagger) admiral’s watch (underworld slang 1905) a good night’s sleep to drive one’s pigs to market (U S 19C) to snore
WORD JOURNEYS detect (15C from Latin) to unroof
climax (from Ancient Greek) a ladder; then (16C) in rhetoric, an ascending series of expressions
climax (from Ancient Greek) a ladder; then (16C) in rhetoric, an ascending series of expressions curfew (13C from Old French: couvre feu) to cover the re
AW WHOOP Animals
You may beat a horse till he be sad, and a cow till she be mad (1678)
In a world where dogs are unclean in some cultures and on the menu in others, the British Isles is one place where the life of the average mutt might not be so bad: snuzzle (1861) to poke around with one’s nose, as dogs do
ew (1575) the pendulous corner of the upper lip of certain dogs, such as the bloodhound
lill (Gloucestershire) used of the tongue of a dog dropping his saliva slink (Shropshire) to draw back, as a dog does when about to bite
pudding (underworld slang 1877) liver drugged for the silencing of house-dogs
ar dawg’s a sooner (U lster) my dog prefers to pee on the carpet rather than go outside
GRIMALKIN
Our other favourite domestic animal is supposed to have nine lives and knows how to enjoy all of them: ess-rook (Shropshire) a cat that likes to lie in the ashes on the hearth tawl-down (Somerset) to smooth down a cat’s back
brebit (Shropshire) a cat that continually hunts for food furs bush (Sussex) the cat’s tune when purring
PRANCERS AND DOBBINS
The Queen is said to prefer horses to people, and there’s little doubt they get to mix in the best of company: fossple (Cumberland 1783) the impression of a horse’s hoof upon soft ground trizzling (Devon) the slow, lazy trot of horses brills (1688) a horse’s eyelashes
skewboglish (Lincolnshire) a horse that is apt to shy
reeaster (Yorkshire) a horse making less e ort than the others in a team
feague (U K slang b.1811) to put ginger or a live eel into a horse’s anus to make him lively and carry his tail well jipping (horsetraders’ slang mid 19C) staining part of a horse with Indian ink to conceal a blemish
LIVESTOCK
It’s all very well going to the races, but where would we be without the milk and cheese from our herds of Jerseys and Guernseys (to say nothing of the beef from Herefords, Galloways and Lincolns)? ganners (Shetland Isles) the inside of a cow’s lips
noit (Yorkshire) the period during which a cow gives milk
tulchan (1789) calf’s skin set beside a cow to make her give milk freely shick (Caithness) to set the head as a bull does when intending to toss
shick (Caithness) to set the head as a bull does when intending to toss giddhom (Ireland) the frantic galloping of cows plagued with ies
LAND OF THE LONG WHITE FLEECE
Sheep are the animal most mentioned in the bible (lions and lambs came in second and third). In New Zealand, where there have long been more sheep than people, a whole separate language grew up for talking about them: break back (1864) to run or dash in the reverse direction to the drive
pink (1897) to shear a sheep carefully and so closely that the skin shows raddle (1910) to mark an unsatisfactorily shorn sheep
huntaway (1912) a noisy sheepdog trained to bark on command and drive sheep forward from behind drummer (1897) the worst or slowest sheep-shearer in a team
cobbler (late 19C) the last and least willing sheep to be sheared
PORKER
In strong competition with the Danes, our hogs and sows do their level best to bring home the bacon: hodge (Shropshire) the large paunch in a pig
wurtle (Cumberland) to work underneath or in the ground like a pig treseltrype (Somerset 1883) the youngest in a litter of pigs
FOWL PLAY
Some birds we keep as hunters or pets, some we breed to mow down with guns, a few we eat … turdoid (1823) akin to a thrush
ostreger (1400) a keeper of goshawks
hack (1575) eagles before they become acclimatized and can hunt on their own ossiger (Orkney Isles) the condition of a fowl when moulting jollop (1688) to gobble like a turkey
zoo-zoo (Gloucestershire) a wood pigeon (from the sound it makes) … but they’re always worth listening to: quit-quit (Wiltshire 1900) the note of the swallow
quee-beck (Scotland 1901) the cry of grouse when startled
hoolie-gool-oo-oo (Ban shire 1876) the cry, hooting of an owl
valentine (1851) to greet with song at mating-time (said of birds)
chavish (1674) the sound of many birds chirping together, or many people chatting at once
QUEENS AND WORKERS
In other parts of the world they eat fried grasshopper and chocolate-coated ants; but with one glorious exception, insects are not much help in our national diet: warp (Tudor–Stuart) bees in ight working themselves forward
cut (Gloucestershire) the second swarm of bees in the same season ( hob or kive: the third swarm of bees) spear (Sussex) the sting of a bee
narrow-wriggle (East Anglian) an earwig (the Yorkshire version is forkin robins) dulosis (Modern Latin 1904) the enslavement of ants by ants
GREAT AND SMALL
The ordinary garden mole was known in Middle English (1100–1500) as a
mowdiwarp. Later he became known as the little gentleman in black
velvet (early 18C), the subject of a famous Jacobite toast to the mole that raised the hill that caused their oppressor King William to fall from his horse and die. Other animals have avoided such glori cation … fuz-pig (Somerset) a hedgehog
bubbly jock (Scottish) a turkey
pilser (b.1828) the moth or y that runs into a candle ame … but nonetheless their most obscure parts have been carefully noted … junk (New Zealand 1837) the soft part of a sperm-whale’s head
dewlap (1398) the pendulous skin under the throat of cattle, dogs etc. cnidocil (1884) a stinging bristle of the tentacle of a jelly sh
katmoget (Shetland Isles 1897) having the colour of its belly di erent from the rest of the body
acnestis (1807) that part of an animal (between its shoulders and lower back) that it cannot reach to scratch eck (Essex) the soft hair of a rabbit
… not to mention their intriguing behaviours … mather (Gloucestershire) to turn round before lying down, as an animal often does
squeem (Ayrshire) the motion of a sh as observed by its e ect on the surface of the water pronk (1896) to leap through the air, as an antelope does
tra c (Gloucestershire) the tracks worn by rabbits or rats near their holes … to say nothing of their mating habits … epigamic (1890) attracting the opposite sex at breeding time clicket (b.1811) the copulation of foxes
amplexus (1930s) the mating embrace of a frog and a toad caterwaul (Middle English) the cry of cats at mating time
YELLS BELLS
At rutting time a badger
shrieks or yells; a boar freams; a buck groans or troats; a ferret or stoat chatters; a fox barks; a goat rattles; a hare or
rabbit beats or taps; a hart bells; an otter whiles; a roe bellows and a wolf howls.
SAFETY IN NUMBERS
Most of us know that geese on the ground come in
gaggles. But were you aware that when they take to the air they become a skein? The
collective nouns for other animals are often bizarre in the extreme: a murder of crows
a watch of nightingales
an unkindness of ravens a crash of rhinoceroses a deceit of lapwings
a convocation of eagles a business of ferrets a wedge of swans
JUG JUG IN BERKELEY SQUARE
W hen it comes to the sounds of animals, some of our attempts at mimicry may leave something to be desired: curkle (1693) to cry as a quail
winx (15C) to bray like a donkey
desticate (1623) to squeak like a rat
chirr (1639) to make a trilling sound like a grasshopper cigling (1693) chirping like the cicada
jug (1523) the sound of the nightingale
skirr (1870) a whirring or grating sound, as of the wings of birds in ight
gi’-me-trousers (Jamaican English 1958) the sound a cock makes when it crows
PEN AND INK
In Lincolnshire, the sounds of horses’ hoofs were onomatopoeically described as
butter and eggs , butter and eggs for a horse at a canter. If the
animal happened to be a clicker, that is, it caught its front hoofs on its rear ones when it was running, there were extra beats in the rhythm and it went hammer and pinchers , hammer and pinchers . A horse at a gallop went pen and ink , pen and ink .
RUTH RUTH
And who knows how this strange variety of human calls to animals developed over the years? muther-wut (Sussex) a carter’s command to a horse to turn right
woor-ree (East Anglian 1893) a waggoner or ploughman’s call to his horse to come to the right harley-harther (Norfolk 1879) a call to horses to go to the left aw whoop (Gloucestershire) an order for a horse to go on
fwyee (Northern) a peculiar noise made in speaking to a horse
rynt ye (Cheshire) what milkmaids say to their cows when they have milked them (similar to aroint thee – get ye gone) ruth ruth (Ireland) an encouragement to a bull to service a cow
habbocraws (Scotland 1824) a shout used to frighten the crows from the corn elds way leggo (New Zealand 1945) a musterer’s cry to recall a dog
midda-whoy (Lincolnshire) an instruction to a horse to turn left
bumbeleery-bizz (Lanarkshire) a cry used by children when they see cows startling, in order to excite them to run about with greater violence soho (1307) a call used by huntsmen to direct the attentions of a dog to a hare which has been discovered whoo-up (Lancashire and Yorkshire 1806) a shout of huntsmen at the death of the quarry poot, poot, poot (Orkney Isles) a call to young pigs at feeding time
cheddy-yow (Yorkshire) a call to sheep being brought down from the fell, to come closer poa poa (Northamptonshire) a call to turkeys tubby (Cornwall) a call used to pigeons
pleck-pleck (Scotland 1876) the cry of the oyster catcher
RSPCA
However good we are as a nation to our furry and feathered friends, there’s certainly no room for complacency: shangle (Cumbria) to fasten a tin or kettle to a dog’s tail
hamble (1050) to make a dog useless for hunting by cutting the balls of its feet brail (1828) the leather strap to bind a hawk’s wing
gablock (1688) a spur attached to the heel of a ghting cock
bdellatomy (1868) the act of cutting a sucking leech to increase its suction
spanghew (1781) blowing up a frog through a straw inserted into its anus; the in ated frog was then jerked into the middle of the pond by being put on a cross stick, the other end being struck, so that it jumped high into the air
EXCREMENTAL
American slang has the phrase
alley or road apple for a lump of horse manure. Back home in the Middle Ages the language of hunting meant
that you didn’t need slang to describe the speci c faeces of an animal: there were the crotels of a hare, the friants of a boar, the spraints of an otter, the werderobe of a badger, the waggying of a fox and the fumets of a deer.
WORD JOURNEYS mawkish (17C) from a maggot; nauseated
tabby (1630s) from Attabiyah, a quarter of Baghdad, renowned for its production of striped cloth
rostrum (16C from Latin) a bird’s beak; then from the orator’s platform in the Roman forum which was adorned with the prows of captured ships
white elephant (1851) from successive kings of Thailand who gave a white elephant to any courtier who irritated them; although the animals were considered sacred, their maintenance was so expensive that anyone who was given one was inevitably ruined
SWALLOCKY Rural life and weather
Spring is here when you can
tread on nine daisies at once on the village green (1910)
Out in the sticks are things not dreamt of by those who remain in town: goodman’s croft (Scotland 19C) a corner of a eld left untilled, in the belief that unless some such place were left, evil would befall the crop loggers (Wiltshire) lumps of dirt on a ploughboy’s feet dudman (1674) a scarecrow made of old garments icker (1513) a single ear of corn
squeaker (Newfoundland 1878) a blade of grass held upright between the thumbs and producing a shrill vibration when blown upon cowpat roulette (Somerset 2004) a game in which villagers bet on which plot of land will be the rst to receive a cow’s calling card
FIGHTING FOR THE CLAICK
Dialects and local language identify particular aspects important to rural folk … plud (Somerset) the swampy surface of a wet ploughed eld eet (Somerset) the windward side of a hedge
wam et (Aberdeenshire) the water of a mill stream, after passing the mill chimp (Wiltshire) the grown-out shoot of a stored potato
griggles (Wiltshire) small worthless apples remaining on the tree after the crop has been gathered in … as well as gadgets and techniques that have been developed over long years of experiment: atchett (Devon and Cornwall) a pole slung across a stream to stop cattle passing averruncator (1842) a long stick with shears for cutting high branches stercoration (1605) the process of spreading manure
stercoration (1605) the process of spreading manure
baggin-bill (Shropshire) an implement for reaping peas reesome (Lincolnshire) to place peas in small heaps
claick (Scotland) the last armful of grain cut at harvest (also called the kirn-cut, mulden, or kirn-baby: it was often kept and hung by a ribbon above the replace; in Su olk harvesters threw their sickles to compete to reap it)
GREEN FINGERS
On a smaller scale, gardeners always have plenty to talk about … platiecrub (Shetland Isles) a patch of enclosed ground for growing cabbages olitory (1658) belonging to the kitchen garden chessom (1626) of soil; without stones or grit
pissabed (Jamaican English 1801) a dandelion (as it is a diuretic) … and things can get pretty technical on occasion: suckshin (Yorkshire) liquid manure
sarcle (1543) to dig up weeds with a hoe gra
(Shropshire) a spade’s depth in digging ( delve is two spades’ depth)
cochel (Sussex) too much for a wheelbarrow but not enough for a cart
BOSKY
Out on the slopes beyond the hedge the trees too need careful categorizing: maerapeldre (Anglo-Saxon) an apple-tree on a boundary
pollard (Newfoundland c.1900) a dead tree still standing rampick (1593) a tree bare of leaves or twigs
stub-shot (Somerset) the portion of the trunk of a tree which remains when the tree is not sawn through … and beyond that, Nature may be wilder and more magni cent still: borstal (South English 1790) a pathway up to a steep hill
brucktummuck (Jamaican English 1943) a hill so steep that it seems to break the stomach of one who tries to climb it
UP ON THE DOWNS
Critics from abroad often claim that English weather is dreadful. But this is only one point of view; for others relish the huge variety of e be found in such a changeable climate. These are just those found in Sussex: port-boys small low clouds in a clear sky
windogs white clouds blown by the wind
eddenbite a mass of cloud in the form of a loop slatch a brief respite or interval in the weather swallocky sultry weather
shucky unsettled weather truggy dirty weather egger-nogger sleet
smither diddles bright spots on either side of the sun
THE RAIN IT RAINETH EVERYDAY …
It may rain often but that’s not to say that there aren’t some happy aspects to the experience:
ects to
petrichor (1964) the pleasant smell that accompanies the rst rain after a dry spell eske (Orkney Isles) small spots of rain that precede a heavy storm fog dog (mid 19C) the lower part of a rainbow
water-gall (Tudor–Stuart) a second rainbow seen above the rst
monkey’s wedding (South African 1968) simultaneous rain and sunshine
although its less enjoyable side is also well documented … trashlifter (Californian slang) a heavy rain ( loglifter: a really heavy rain) duck’s frost (Sussex dialect) cold rain rather than freezing
New York rain (Hong Kong slang) the local term for water that drips annoyingly from air-conditioners onto passers-by
BLOWN AWAY or those who live on coasts and hills, the wind has always been a constant presence: pipple (Tudor–Stuart) to blow with a gentle sound (of the wind)
wyvel (Wiltshire) to blow as wind does round a corner or through a hole
whi e (1662) to blow, displace or scatter with gusts of air; to icker or utter as if blown by the wind not to be tri ed with if you’re out on the water … williwaw (1842) a sudden and powerful downdraught of wind (originally in the Straits of Magellan) the dog before its master (nautical late 19C) a heavy swell preceding a gale or a storm is imminent … brattle (Newcastle 1815) the noise of a thunderclap
rounce robble hobble (b.1582) a representation of the tumult of thunder
heofonwoma (Anglo-Saxon) thunder and lightning, literally a terrible noise from heaven levin (13C) a bolt of lightning
THE LIVING IS EASY
Every now and then the sun appears, and everyone goes crazy with delight: apricate (1691) to bask in the sun
crizzles (1876) rough, sunburnt places on the face and hands in scorching weather
jack-a-dandy (Shropshire) the dancing light sometimes seen on a wall or ceiling, re ected from the sunshine on water, glass or other bright surface
king’s-weather (Scotland 18C) the exhalations seen rising from the earth during a warm day (while queen’s weather (19C) is a ne day for a fête as Queen Victoria was famous for having ne weather when she appeared in public)
SNOW ON THE LINE
W hile at the other end of the year the country grinds to a halt for another reason: devil’s blanket (Newfoundland) a snowfall which hinders work or going to school pitchen (Bristol) snow that is settling
cloggins (Cumberland) balls of snow on the feet tewtle (Yorkshire) to snow just a few akes sluppra (Shetland Isles) half-melted snow
although the novelty does often rather pass after the building of the second snowman: two thieves beating a rogue (b.1811) a man beating his hands against his sides to warm himself in cold weather (also known as booby and cu ng Jonas )
beating the
to beat the goose (c.1880) to strike the hands across the chest and under the armpits to warm one’s chilled ngers (the movement supposedly resembles a goose in ight)
shrammed (Bristol) feeling really cold
WORD JOURNEYS aftermath (16C) after mowing (i.e. the second crop of grass in autumn)
derive (14C from Latin via Old French) to draw away from the river bank damp (14C) noxious vapour, gas; then (16C) fog, mist, depression, stupor sky (13C from Old Norse) a cloud aloof (nautical 16C) windward
FEELIMAGEERIES Paraphernalia
None are so great enemies to knowledge as they that know nothing at all (1586)
The English language has a name for pretty much everything, even things you’ve never imagined needing to describe: feazings (1825) the frayed and unravelled ends of a rope ouch (Tudor–Stuart) the socket of a precious stone
swarf (1566) the metallic dust that accumulates after sharpening or grinding metal ferrule (Dickens: Nicholas Nickleby 1838) the metal tip on an umbrella nittiness (1664) the condition of being full of small air bubbles
DRIBS AND DRABS
If that wasn’t enough, dialect supplies a few more: charmings (Lincolnshire) paper or rag chewed into small pieces by mice swailing (Rutland) wax drips from a candle
smut (Dublin) the remains of a nearly burnt-out candle
catamaran (Devon 1836) anything very rickety and unsafe
swiggle (East Anglia) to shake liquid in an enclosed vessel noraleg (Shetland Isles 1899) a needle with a broken eye
ROUGHLY SPEAKING
W hen it comes to describing other aspects of objects, there are some surprisingly useful words out there: scrawmax (Lincolnshire) anything badly formed or out of shape
ullage (1297) the amount of liquid by which a container falls short of being full wee-wow (Shropshire) more on one side than on the other, ill-balanced, shaky
cattywampus (U S Middle and Southern slang) diagonally across from something else by scowl of brow (Gloucestershire) judging by the eye instead of by measurement ostrobogulous (1951) unusual, bizarre, interesting … as there are for directions too: widdershins (1513) in the opposite direction, the wrong way
deasil (1771) clockwise, or ‘in the direction of the sun’s course’ (considered by some to bring bad luck) antisyzgy (1863) a union of opposites
COUNTING SHEEP
Being able to count was a matter of survival long before education for all.
Yan Tan Tethera is a numerical sequence once used widely by
shepherds in northern England and southern Scotland to count their sheep. It was also used in knitting to count stitches. The words di er
according to accent and locale (in the Lake District versions alter according to which valley you nd yourself in). In Westmorland it goes like this:
Yan · Tahn · Teddera · Meddera · Pimp (5) · Settera · Lettera · Hovera · Dovera · Dick (10) · Yan Dick · Tahn Dick · Teddera Dick · Meddera Dick · Bum t (15) · Yan-a-Bum t · Tahn-a Bum t · Teddera-Bum t · Meddera-Bum t · Jiggot (20)
The monotonous nature of the rhyme, which would have been repeated many times during the day, also supposedly gave rise to the idea of ‘counting sheep’ in order to get o to sleep.
WHO WANTS TO BE A VIGINTILLIONAIRE?
W hen numbers give way to mathematics, things start to get a bit more daunting: zenzizenzizenzic (1557) the eighth power of a number lemniscate (1781) the ∞ or ‘in nity’ symbol preantepenult (1791) the fourth last
shake a unit of time equal to a hundred-millionth of a second (from top secret operations during the Second World War based on the expression ‘two shakes of a lamb’s tail’, indicating a very short time interval)
vigintillion (1857) the number expressed as a one followed by sixty-three zeros
EVEN STEVENS
Colloquial English takes delight in rhyming expressions, o
cially known as Reduplicative Rhyming Compounds:
nibby-gibby (Cornwall 1854) touch and go
winky-pinky (Yorkshire) a nursery word for sleepy
hockerty-cockerty (Scotland 1742) with one leg on each shoulder
inchy-pinchy (Warwickshire) the boy’s game of progressive leapfrog dge-fadge (Yorkshire) a motion between walking and trotting
boris-noris (Dorset) careless, reckless, happy-go-lucky
wi e-wa e (Northamptonshire) to whet one’s scythes together
Shropshire, in particular, has some ne examples: aunty-praunty (Ellesmere) high-spirited, proud
bang-swang (Clee Hills) without thought, headlong holus-bolus impulsively, without deliberation
opple-scopple (Clun) to scramble for sweets as children do This is not just a local phenomenon, as these transatlantic modern versions demonstrate: stitch ’n’ bitch sewing or knitting while exchanging malicious gossip denture venturer a long trip away from work pre-retirement chop shop a stolen car disassembly place
zero-hero the designated driver: someone who doesn’t drink alcohol at a social gathering etc. to drive those who do drink home safely
YOUR NUMBER’S UP
In the drugstores of 1930s America, sta
often found it easier to talk in numerical code about certain sensitive matters:
13
a boss is roaming
14
a special order
86
we’re out of what was just ordered; to refuse to serve a customer
87½
a pretty woman just walked in
95
a customer is walking out without paying
98
the manager is here
MMMMM …
W e all know there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet. But don’t think that’s the end of it: izzard (Swift 1738) an archaic name for Z
lambdoidal (1653) shaped like the letter L
tittle (1538) the little dot above the letter i (it’s also the name for a pip on dice) hyoid (1811) having a U shape
octothorpe (U S 1960s) the o cial name of the ‘#’ (aka the hash mark)
annodated (b.1913) anything bent somewhat like the letter S (from heraldry) mytacism (b.1913) the incorrect or excessive use of the letter M
NEVER ODD OR EVEN: PALINDROMES
The English word palindrome was coined by the playwright Ben Jonson in around 1629 to describe words that read the same forwards as backwards; an ongoing source of fun with phrases too: no, it is opposition
Niagara, o roar again!
rats live on no evil star
nurse, I spy gypsies, run!
murder for a jar of red rum harass sensuousness, Sarah
a man, a plan, a canal, Panama
sums are not set as a test on Erasmus
sir, I demand - I am a maid named Iris
sir, I demand - I am a maid named Iris
a new order began, a more Roman age bred Rowena
SOUND EFFECTS
Noises sometimes seem to defy description. But not in this language: fremescence (Thomas Carlyle 1837) an incipient roaring rimbombo (1873) a booming roar
cloop (1848) drawing a cork from a bottle
amphoric (1839) the hollow sound produced by blowing across the mouth of a bottle wheep (Kipling: Life’s Hand 1891) a steel weapon when drawn from a sheath
callithumpian (1836) a big parade, usually accompanied by a band of discordant instruments rip-rap (1894) reworks detonating
swabble (1848) water being sloshed around
crepitation (1656) the crackling and popping sound of a wood re jarg (1513) the creaking of a door or gate
juck-cum-peng (Jamaican English 1943) a wooden-legged person walking whi e (1972) a soft sound as of gently moving air or water
TINCTURE
W e can all name the primary colours: red, yellow and blue; not to mention the secondaries: purple, green and orange; after that, it’s anyone’s guess: gamboge (1634) bright yellow (from gum-resin) fulvous (1664) tawny, yellow tinged with red ianthine (1609) violet coloured
glaucous (1671) a pale green passing into greyish blue nacreous (1841) a pearly lustre
lyard (Chaucer c.1386) silvery grey almost white
VERY FLAT, NORFOLK
Dialects have their own words for colour, often re
ecting the landscapes they come from:
blake (Cumberland) a yellowish golden colour
bazzom (Newfoundland) purplish tint, heather-coloured; of esh, blue or discoloured watchet (Midlands 1891) light blue
dunduckytimur (Norfolk and Su olk) a dull, indescribable colour
UP BETIMES
Time waits for no man. So we might as well be certain precisely what we mean: ughten (971) the dusk just before dawn
blue o’clock in the morning (1886) pre-dawn, when black sky gives way to purple beetle-belch (RAF jargon) an ungodly hour
sparrow-fart (b.1910) daybreak, very early morning beever (Sussex) eleven o’clock luncheon
upright and downstraight (Sussex) bedtime when the clock says six blind-man’s-holiday (Shropshire) twilight cockshut (1594) evening time
PROVIDENTIAL
If you want something to come o
well, choose your date with care:
Egyptian day (Yorkshire) an unlucky day, a Friday, which was a day of abstinence
pully-lug day (Cumberland 1886) a day on which traditionally ears might be pulled with impunity
cucumber time (b.1810) the quiet season in the tailoring trade (hence the expression tailors are vegetarians as they live on cucumber when without work)
Saint Tibb’s Eve (Cornwall) a day that never comes when hens make holy water (1631) never
THINGUMMY
W hen all is said and done, however, there are just some things that remain very hard to put your
nger on:
oojiboo (1918) an unnamed thing, a whatsit
feelimageeries (Scotland 1894) knick-knacks, odds and ends
hab nab (1580) at random, at the mercy of chance, hit or miss
gazodjule (Australian slang) a name for an object of which one cannot remember the name occinaucinihilipili cation (1741) the categorizing of something that is useless or trivial
WORD JOURNEYS point-blank (16C from French) a white spot (as in a target) punctual (14C from Latin) pertinent to a point or dot
normal (17C from Latin via French) rectangular, perpendicular
paraphernalia (17C from Ancient Greek) articles of personal property which the law allows a married woman to regard as her own algebra (14C from Arabic via Medieval Latin) the reunion of broken parts
* Obviously, not to be confused with hangouderen (Dutch), pensioners who have nothing to do but hang around in considerable numbers in shopping malls and hamburger bars (literally, hanging elderly)
* Slang that works when read or written backwards